*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 52493 *** Note: Images of the original pages are available through Internet Archive. See https://archive.org/details/susangetsreadyfo00mack Transcriber's note: Text enclosed by underscores is in italics (_italics_). Text enclosed by equal signs is in bold face (=bold=). Price 25 Cents Paine’S Monologues SUSAN GETS READY FOR CHURCH Mac KENZIE Paine Publishing Co. Dayton, Ohio No Plays Exchanged * * * * * * School Classic Series JUST THE BOOKS you want for Supplementary Reading and Study—Fables and Myths, Nature Stories, and Stories of Geography, History and the Industries, as well as selections from leading authors and poets. Each book contains about thirty-two pages of Choice Literature carefully graded. THE LIST CLASSIFIED AND GRADED FIRST GRADE Fables and Myths 1 Old Fables—Aesop 2 Stories from Andersen—I 3 Nursery Tales Nature— 4 Animal Stories History Stories— 5 Boyhood Stories—I (Columbus, Washington) Geography— 6 Children of Many Lands—I (A Queer Little Eskimo) SECOND GRADE Fables and Myths— 7 Stories from Andersen—II 8 Grimm’s Fairy Tales 10 Adventures of a Brownie 12 Jack and the Beanstalk 13 Robinson Crusoe 29 Little Red Riding Hood 33 Story of Hiawatha Nature 9 Bird Stories—I (The Robin and Bluebird) Geography 11 Children of Many Lands—II (Ten Little Indians) History and Biography 14 Story of the Pilgrims 15 Boyhood Stories—II (Franklin, Webster, Garfield) THIRD GRADE Stories and Myths 16 Indian Myths 17 Greek Myths 18 Stories from Andersen—III Nature— 19 Bird Stories—II (The Sparrow Family) 20 From Seed to Fruit (Studies of Plant Life) Geography— 21 Children of Many Lands—III (Kenjiro, the Japanese Boy) History and Biography— 36 Story of Columbus 23 Story of Longfellow 24 Story of Old Virginia 25 Story of Independence—I (Beginning of the Revolution) 26 Story of Independence—II (War in Middle Colonies) 27 Story of Independence—III (War in Southern Colonies) 28 The Boston Tea Party FOURTH GRADE Legends— 22 Norse Gods and Heroes 31 Legends of the Rhine Nature— 32 Bird Stories—III (The Woodpecker Family) Geography— 34 Stories of Coal and Iron 35 Story of Cotton 37 Animals of the Hot Belt 38 Animals of the Cold Belt 44 Children of Many Lands—IV (Karl and Katherine in Holland) History and Biography— 39 Story of Washington 40 Story of Lincoln 41 Great Inventors—I (Watt, Stephenson, Fulton) 43 Story of Daniel Boone FIFTH GRADE Geography— 45 Children of Many Lands—V (Fu Chen, a Little Chinese Girl) 49 Story of Silk History and Biography— 50 Great Inventors—II (Morse, Field, Edison) Literature— 46 The Golden Touch (Hawthorne) 55 The King of the Golden River (Ruskin) SIXTH GRADE History and Biography— 42 Great Naval Commanders (Jones, Perry, Farragut) 51 Great Statesmen (Clay, Webster, Calhoun) 47 Story of Canada Literature— 48 The Snow Image (Hawthorne) 64 Rip Van Winkle (Irving) 65 Legend of Sleepy Hallow (Irving) 79 Rab and His Friends 59 Thanatopsis (Bryant) 66 Pied Piper of Hamelin (Browning) SEVENTH GRADE Literature— 30 The Man Without a Country (Hale) 69 Courtship of Miles Standish (Longfellow) 70 Evangeline (Longfellow) 71 The Great Stone Face (Hawthorne) 72 Snowbound (Whittier) EIGHTH GRADE Literature— 73 The Deserted Village (Goldsmith) 74 Stories of King Arthur 75 Enoch Arden (Tennyson) 76 Vision of Sir Launfal (Lowell) 77 The Cotter’s Saturday Night (Burns) 78 Speeches of Lincoln Price 6c Each, 72c per Dozen. Order by Number ADD 1 CENT EACH FOR POSTAGE ON ORDERS FOR LESS THAN FIVE COPIES Our new Catalog describes the latest and best Busy Work and Primary Material, Methods, Outlines, Games, Entertainment Books, Blackboard Stencils, etc. Ask for it. PAINE PUBLISHING CO., Dayton, Ohio * * * * * * SUSAN GETS READY FOR CHURCH A Monologue by EDNA I. MAC KENZIE Author of “_As Our Washwoman Sees It_,” “_The Country Cousin Speaks Her Mind_,” “_That Awful Letter_,” “_A Double Tragedy, Almost_.” Copyright 1920, by Paine Publishing Company Paine Publishing Company Dayton, Ohio SUSAN GETS READY FOR CHURCH ————— Character—_An ordinary girl in an ordinary house on a Sunday morning._ ————— Susan—_Rushes in, sits down at a table and looks disgustedly at her breakfast._ Mother, what in the world did you let me oversleep for anyway? This toast is all dried up, (_Takes top off egg_) and just look at that egg; it’s as hard as a rock and if there’s anything I detest, it’s a hard-boiled—(_In surprise_) You did call me? Oh, of course, but that was ages ago and you know I always take another nap after the first—Am I going to church? (_With sarcasm_) Well, what do you think I am! A lightning change artist, to be able to get ready in about five seconds! (_takes a bite of toast_). I know it’s just a quarter after ten but I simply couldn’t get dressed in less than an hour and church begins at eleven. Besides I haven’t had my breakfast yet. (_Takes a drink and makes a wry face_). Goodness, but this coffee is awfully strong. It tastes as though it had been boiling for hours. It’s enough to poison—(_pause_). Oh, a returned missionary is going to speak? Then I’m glad I’m not going, for if there’s anything I hate to have to listen to, it’s a missionary sermon. They have generally forgotten how to speak the English language and keep saying A-a-h-uh until they get the word they’re after. I counted two hundred and fifty-three A-a-h-uh’s in that address that man from China—(_indignantly_) I don’t see why I should be ashamed of myself. I had to do something to keep awake. And they’re always begging for money, too. The heathen don’t need it nearly as badly as I do. Why, I had to pay ten dollars for my new hat alone, while they can clothe themselves on that many cents. Their costumes are so simple, you know, just a frill around—(_in surprise_). Madge got her new hat home last night! And she told me the milliner couldn’t possibly have it ready for to-day. To think she’d lie to her best friend like that! (_jumps up hurriedly_). That settles it; I’ll simply have to go to church now, missionary or no missionary, (_pause_). You don’t see what Madge’s hat has to do with my going to church? Why, mother, the very idea, when you know I’ve had mine for two whole days. I wouldn’t let her get ahead of me for the—(_pause_). No, I haven’t time for another bite. It’s all cold anyway. Here Jimmie, (_stoops and takes off shoes_) give these shoes a shine and I’ll give you a nickel. (_Indignantly_) Your conscience won’t let you do it for less than ten cents because it’s Sunday! Whoever heard of the like! First time I knew you had a conscience. Well, I guess I’ll have to give it to you then, but it will have to come out of my collection, so remember, it’s the church you’re robbing, not— (_Puts hand up to hair_.) Oh, I forgot, my hair isn’t done yet, I must run up and do it; I’ll never get ready in time. (_Takes down hair, brushes and puts it up, talking continuously._) Say, I’d like to know who’s been swiping my hair-pins! I just bought a box last week and now there’s only four—(_calls_) Bess—ie! Have you taken my hair-pins? (_Pause._) Well, you needn’t snap my head off. I saw you slitting the pages of your book with one, I know. Come and hunt me up some of mother’s, then. Hurry, or I’ll be late. (_Pause._) You can find only one? Thanks, now run down and take a couple out of mother’s hair, she won’t mind. Be quick. Jim—ie! Have you got those shoes shined yet? (_Pause._) Well, hurry up. (_Pause._) She says her hair will come down? Well, tell her to bundle it under a boudoir cap. (_Pause._) Oh, Bessie, you’re a dear. Now get my dress for me; it’s hanging on the nail behind the closet door. (_Pause._) No, not that one, that color wouldn’t go with my new hat at— (_Pause._) You can’t find it? Oh, dear, I guess I’ll have to hunt for it myself. (_Takes a few steps and searches frantically._) There, (_slipping it over her head_) it was just exactly where I told you it was—hanging behind the door, under my suit skirt, that dress and my georgette crepe waist. It was there all the time, but some people are so afraid of looking for anything for fear they might find it. Now fasten it up for me. (_Calls._) Jim—mie, hurr—(_Jumps._) Ouch! You’re sticking a pin in me. Do be more careful. (_Calls as she fixes her dress._) Mother, get my collection ready for me, please. I can just give a nickel since Jim—(_Pause._) Oh, my purse is in one of my boxes in the side. (_Pause._) There are five boxes? I don’t know which one it’s in; look in them all. (_Pause._) Not in any of them? Oh, I know now. I left it in my coat pocket. It’s hanging on the hall-rack. There goes the first bell, I’ll never get—Nothing in it less than a dollar bill? Well, I’ll not give that, that’s one thing certain. Lend me a nickel to tide me over— (_Calls_) Jim—mie, aren’t those shoes shined yet? (_Pause._) Mother you shouldn’t let him use such words, they’re not— Oh, Bessie, run and get me a handkerchief out of my box. (_Pause._) None there? Then get me one of yours. (_Pause._) Yes, mother, I’m coming down. Oh, dear, where’s my hymn-book? I left it on top of those books last Sunday. I guess it’s fallen behind. (_Pulls out books._) No, it isn’t here. Where— Oh, Bessie, will you hunt up my gloves? (_Pause._) No, I haven’t the least idea where they are. Look in that drawer. (_Pause._) Not there? Then look in the writing—Oh, I remember, I left them over to Edith’s. I simply can’t go to church without them, so run and get them. Hurry, I’m late now. (_Calls_) Jimmie, aren’t those shoes done yet? Mother, do make him hurry. I’ll nev— I suppose I might be putting on my hat while I’m waiting. (_Puts it on carefully._) Mother, which way do you like it best? This way, (_Jerks it to the left._) or this? (_Jerks it to the right._) You like it best on straight? But mother, it must have a dip or it won’t be in style. There, (_Jerks to the left and examines critically._) I like it that way best. The way that curl pokes out is too cute for—Where’s my fancy hat-pins gone? You can’t keep anything around this place. I’ll have to take Bessie’s. (_Calls.)_ Oh, Jim—mie, do get a move on! (_Severely._) Don’t get into such a temper. How did I know you were coming. Goodness, but that’s some shine you’ve got. (_Puts them on._) You’d think—oh, oh, look at my hands; they’re all over shoe polish. I’ll have to wash them again. I’ll never, never get to church. (_Indignantly_) Jimmy Smith, the idea of saying it’s my own fault. I couldn’t waken if nobody called me, could I? You ought to be so thankful that you have a sister who’s anxious to go to church that you’d do anything to help her get ready. Has any one found my hymn-book yet? Never mind, I’ll get one at the door as I go— Jimmie, run and see if— Oh, here you are, Bessie. I thought you were never coming. (_Takes gloves and starts to put one on._) These aren’t my gloves; they’re Edith’s, and she takes a half size smaller than I do. No, you haven’t time to go back and get mine so I’ll have to wear them, but they’ll be a pretty tight fit. (_Pause._) Well, just look at that! Split right down the middle. They must be awfully poor kid. I didn’t think she’d buy such cheap things. I’ll have to hide the tear with my handker— Oh, there goes the last bell. I’ll be most awfully late, likely they’ll be finishing the first hymn. I think you people might have helped me more. One good thing, Madge can’t miss seeing me. Oh, I’m going off without my handkerchief. Run and get it for me, Jimmie. Mother, are you sure my hat’s on straight? Wouldn’t it be awful if Madge weren’t out after all! CURTAIN. FAMOUS FIVE CENT DIALOGUES =DOCTOR AND PATIENT.= =By John M. Drake.= 2 male characters. Very funny. =DOLL DIALOGUE.= This is a very instructive dialogue for 4 little girls. =GOING TO MEET AUNT HATTIE.= A dialogue by =Mrs. Hunt=. For 1 male and 3 female characters. =LOST DOG, THE.= An excellent comic dialogue with following cast: Mr. Taylor, owner of the dog; Mrs. Taylor; Billy, their son; Chinaman, Dutchman, Irishman, and Mr. Smith. =NO PEDDLERS WANTED.= For 4 boys. A funny dialogue that satisfies. =OUR TRAMPS.= A humorous dialogue for two boys and three girls. Two of the larger pupils should be dressed to represent grandfather and grandmother. A small boy and two small girls for tramps, to be dressed in old clothes belonging to grown-up people. =PEARL’S CHRISTMAS.= Original, pleasing and interesting Christmas dialogue with an excellent moral, for 3 boys and 4 girls. =PETERTOWN PROPOSAL, THE.= A dialogue for two small children, a boy and a girl. =PICNIC, A.= A realistic and humorous dialogue for six boys and ten girls. =REVIEWING FOR EXAMINATION.= =By Chas. McClintic.= 1 male, 2 female characters. =SILENT INTRUDER, THE.= =By Eugene Harold.= A comic dialogue for two male characters. You should see the clerk placed under the hypnotic spell. =SLIGHT MISUNDERSTANDING, A.= A comic dialogue for a deaf lady and a tramp. Three copies for =ten cents=. =UNCLE PETER’S VISIT TO THE SCHOOL.= A comic dialogue for 2 male and 3 female characters. 10 minutes. =UNGROUNDED SUSPICIONS.= For three boys. Shows how people are often unjustly accused. Three copies, ten cents. =THE WAY TO WYNDHAM.= A comic dialogue for 2 male characters. 10 minutes. An excellent dialogue. =THE WEDDING NOTICE.= A comic Irish dialogue that is rich and rare and racy. FAMOUS TEN CENT DIALOGUES =ARABELLA’S POOR RELATION.= A very popular dialogues, with the following characters: Arabella, a very proud city girl; Mary Taylor, her poor cousin; Joshua Hopkins, a typical down-east farmer from Vermont, one of the poor (?) relations; Robert Clarenden in search of a wife. Four copies, =thirty cents=. =AUNT SALLIE’S DOCTOR.= A Christian Science dialogue for two male and two female characters. Some fun and some truth in the dialogue. =AUNT VINEGAR’S MONEY.= This is a dialogue for five female characters, =by Mrs. A. Hunt=. Some fun and truth in the dialogue. =DEACON’S DILEMMA, THE.= A comic dialogue, for one male, one female and a little girl. The deacon and the lady think that matrimony is the thing for them, but after many amusing differences, change their minds. =DEAF UNCLE ZED.= A comic dialogue in two scenes, for four male and three female characters. Uncle Zed has lots of cash, and can hear all right when he wants to. =DOIG’S EXCELLENT DIALOGUES.= =By Agnes M. Doig.= Contains four very pleasing short dialogues for little people, as follows: Keeping Store, Guessing, Playing School, and Christmas Eve. All good. =POOR RELATION, THE.= A comic dialogue in two parts, for five male characters. This dialogue shows that promises do not amount to much. It is what one does that counts. =SCHOOL AFFAIRS IN RIVERHEAD DISTRICT.= Characters: Teacher, children, and Board of Education. In four scenes. =SCHOOL GIRL’S STRATEGY, A.= A humorous dialogue for one male and eight female characters, and as many more school girls as convenient. Three interior scenes, one representing a school-room. One girl who has been writing essays for the other girls, on this occasion writes them all alike. Lot of fun. Eight copies for =fifty cents=. New Entertainment Songs By Edna Randolph Worrell These songs can be used in all manner of entertainments. The music is easy, and both music and words are especially catchy. Children like them. Everybody likes them. Sheet music. =Price 25 cents each. Five copies, $1.00.= =WE HOPE YOU’VE BROUGHT YOUR SMILES ALONG.= A welcome song that will at once put the audience in a joyous frame of mind and create a happy impression that will mean half the success of your entire program. Words, bright and inspiring. Music, catchy. =WE’LL NOW HAVE TO SAY GOOD-BYE.= This beautiful song has snap and go that will appeal alike to visitors and singers. It is just the song to send your audience home with happy memories of the occasion. =WE’VE JUST ARRIVED FROM BASHFUL TOWN.= This song will bring memories to the listeners of their own bashful school days. Words, unusually clever. Music, decidedly melodious. A capital welcome song, or it may be sung at any time on the program with assured success. =MY OWN AMERICA, I LOVE THEE.= A song that will bring a thrill of patriotism to the heart of every one who hears it. The children and grown-ups just can’t resist the catchy music. It makes a capital marching song. =COME AND PARTAKE OF OUR WELCOME CAKE.= A merry welcome song and a jolly one, too. The audience will be immediately curious about the Welcome Cake, and the children will love to surprise the listeners with the catchy words. Music, easy and tuneful. =LULLABY LANE.= The music and words blend so beautifully that people will be humming the appealing strains long after they hear this charming song. A wonderfully effective closing song, whether sung by the school or as a solo by a little girl, with a chorus of other little girls with dolls. =JOLLY PICKANINNIES.= Words by Elizabeth F. Guptill. Music by Edna R. Worrell. This spicy coon song will bring down the house, especially if you use the directions for the motions which accompany the music. The black faces and shining eyes of the pickaninnies will guarantee a hit. The words are great and the music just right. =THE LITTLE BIRD’S SECRET.= Here is just the song for those two little folks to sing together. They won’t have to be coaxed to sing it, especially when they find that the whole school is to whistle the chorus. This is a decided novelty, and will prove a rare treat to your audience. =A GARDEN ROMANCE.= This is a dainty little song telling of the romance and wedding of Marigold and Sweet William. It is just the song for dainty little girls to sing. =COME TO THE NURSERY RHYME GARDEN AND PLAY.= Here is something different for the little folks to sing. The Nursery Rhyme Folk are so familiar to children, it will be no trick for them to remember the words. The music has a most captivating swing. Paine Publishing Company - - Dayton, Ohio *** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 52493 ***