Project Gutenberg's The True History of Tom and Jerry, by Charles Hindley

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org


Title: The True History of Tom and Jerry
       or, The Day and Night Scenes, of Life in London from the
       Start to the Finish!

Author: Charles Hindley

Release Date: August 19, 2013 [EBook #43504]

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE TRUE HISTORY OF TOM AND JERRY ***




Produced by The Online Distributed Proofreading Team at
http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images
generously made available by The Internet Archive.)









  THE TRUE HISTORY
  OF TOM & JERRY:

  OR,

  [Illustration: LIFE IN LONDON.]

  LIFE IN LONDON, my boys, is a round of delight,
  In frolics, I keep up, both the day and the night,
  With my TOM and my JERRY, I try to "_get best_"
  Of the COVES in the _East_--and the SWELLS at the _West_!
  Such _pals_ in a _lark_, we the TOWN can defy, O!
  Then join me in _chaunting_ our _precious_ TRIO.




[Illustration: BILLY WATERS.]

  _Mags_ came thick, this made him merry;
    Fortune changes in a crack--
  Folks they went t' see Tom and Jerry,
    And on Billy turned their back.


One notable effect of "Life in London," particularly in its dramatised
form must be recorded. It broke the heart of poor Billy Waters, the
one-legged musical negro, who died in St. Giles's workhouse, whispering
with his ebbing breath, a mild anathema, which sounded very much like:
"Cuss him, dam Tom--mee--Tom--mee Jerry!"

Poor Billy endeavoured, up to the period of his last illness, to obtain
for a wife and two children what he termed, "An honest living by scraping
de cat-gut!" by which he originally collected considerable sums of money
at the West-end of the town, where his ribbon-decked cocked hat and
feathers, with the grin on his countenance, and sudden turn and kick out
of his wooden limb, and other antics and efforts to please, excited much
mirth and attention, and were well rewarded from the pockets of John Bull.




  THE TRUE HISTORY
  OF TOM AND JERRY;
  OR,
  THE DAY AND NIGHT SCENES,
  OF LIFE IN LONDON

  FROM THE START TO THE FINISH!
  WITH A KEY TO THE PERSONS AND PLACES,
  TOGETHER WITH A VOCABULARY AND GLOSSARY
  OF THE FLASH AND SLANG TERMS,
  OCCURING IN THE COURSE OF THE WORK.


  BY CHARLES HINDLEY,

  _Editor of "The Old Book Collector's Miscellany;
  or, a Collection of Readable Reprints of Literary
  Rarities" "Works of John Taylor--the Water Poet,"
  "The Roxburghe Ballads," "The History of the
  Catnach Press," "The Curiosities of Street
  Literature," "The Book of Ready Made Speeches,"
  "Life and Times of James Catnach, late of the
  Seven Dials, Ballad Monger," "Tavern Anecdotes
  and Sayings," etc._


  London:
  CHARLES HINDLEY, 41, BOOKSELLERS' ROW, ST. CLEMENT DANES,
  STRAND, W.C.




[Illustration]


INTRODUCTION.

  "Nothing succeeds like success"--or "Fails like failure."
                  Prince Talleyrand _cum_ Baron Nicholson!


That PIERCE EGAN'S LIFE IN LONDON, or TOM AND JERRY, was a success, we
have plenty of printed evidence and 'hearsay'! to prove. And we also
know--beyond the shadow of a doubt, that the news of its metropolitan fame
went forth with almost telegraphic speed throughout the provinces:--From
John o'Groat's House to the Land's End!--From Dan to Beersheba!--and back
_again_! With LIFE IN LONDON, its language became the language of the day;
drawing-rooms were turned into _chaffing cribs_, and rank and beauty
learned to patter flash _ad nauseam_.

The original work went through several editions in a very short time, and
the plates, by the Brothers Cruikshank, were considered so full of
amusement that they were transferred to a variety of articles without any
loss of time. The _Lady_ taking her _gunpowder_ was enabled to amuse her
visitors with the adventures of _Tom and Jerry_ on her highly-finished
tea-tray. The lovers of Irish _Blackguard_ experienced a double zest in
taking a pinch from a box, the lid of which exhibited the laughable phiz
of the eccentric BOB LOGIC. The country folks were delighted with the
handkerchief which displayed TOM getting the best of a Charley, and DUSTY
BOB and BLACK SAL "all happiness!" The _Female of Quality_ felt interested
with the lively scene of the light fantastic toe at Almack's, when playing
with her elegant fan; and the _Connoisseur_, with a smile of satisfaction
on his countenance, contemplated his screen, on which were displayed the
motley groups of high and low characters continually on the move in the
metropolis.

Everybody talked of TOM AND JERRY, and crowds rushed to the theatres where
the uproarious adventures of these popular personages were represented in
a dramatic form. Mr. W. T. Moncrieff's adaptation brought out at the
Adelphi Theatre, November 26th, 1821:--which, "_by-the way_," was by far
the best of the whole _bunch_!--ran uninterruptedly through two seasons.
It then appeared in rapid succession at the Theatres all over England,
Ireland, Scotland, and Wales; likewise in most of the United States of
America, the West Indies, &c.

But although LIFE IN LONDON, or, TOM AND JERRY did make our grandfathers
so very--_very!_ merry in the first quarter of the Nineteenth Century, we
are constrained to admit; that it is a terrible dull and tedious work to
read through in the present day, and it is on that very account, that we
here place before our readers, what we are pleased to term--THE TRUE
HISTORY of TOM and JERRY; for the work has a history of its own, and to
exemplify the fact, we have in the first place, made numerous selections
from the original work, then given the principal scenes of Moncrieff's
dramatic version of the same, the two concluding chapters of PIERCE EGAN'S
continuation of his LIFE IN LONDON which he entitles--THE FINISH TO THE
ADVENTURES OF TOM, JERRY, AND LOGIC, in their Pursuits through LIFE IN AND
OUT OF LONDON.[1] Together with a "KEY to PERSONS and PLACES, and an
Etymological and Critical Vocabulary and Glossary of _Flash_ and _Slang
Terms_ occurring in the course of this work," as at once giving an
epitome of the whole: and to our mind, sufficient to be known of PIERCE
EGAN'S once popular work. To which we have added such historic facts and
scraps of information that have come to hand during our researches in
connection with the--RISE and PROGRESS--DECLINE and FALL of the BOOK and
its STORY. The present generation will find in some of the scenes depicted
in such glowing colours, many of the fashions, manners and customs, which
prevailed in the reign of King George the Fourth, together with certain
landmarks of the past, which no one need regret leaving far behind, and
ought to give every encouragement to those who live under the rule of
Queen Victoria to maintain a firm faith in the social progress of the age.

The first CHAPTER of LIFE IN LONDON, commences with what the author terms
AN INVOCATION, in which, after _invoking!_--"the pleasing, grateful,
inspiring, nay, golden advantages resulting from the smiles of that
supreme goddess of the gods, FAME!"--which he adds is the--"flattering
unction" that all authors _sigh_ to be anointed with. He then in
very--"merry-go-round--here we go round"--sort of a way calls to his aid
many of the past, and, also then, living authors, artists, publishers, and
public characters of the day--"to enrich his judgment--guide his
pen--inspire him with confidence--and in other ways assist him in the
arduous task he has undertaken." And thus he '_invokes_.' Laurence
Sterne--divine and humourist--(1713-68):--

    --"It is to thee, STERNE, I first humbly bend my knee, and solicit thy
    most powerful aid. If thou didst not _use up_ all thy stock of
    SENSIBILITY before thou wert called away to enjoy the reward of thy
    exertions in the bowers of Elysium, pray tell me where thou didst
    deposit that most precious bottle, that I may with an eagerness
    unexampled, uncork its treasures and apply every drop after thy rich
    felicity: I have great need of it. And FIELDING, too, thou true
    delineator of HUMAN NATURE, if only a small _remnant_ of thy MANTLE
    has been left behind, let me but know it, that I may ransack every
    piece-broker's house in the kingdom, till I become the master of such
    an invaluable stimulus to exertion. And, although another SOPHIA
    WESTERN, perhaps, is not to be met with in the walks of the present
    day, if it were my precise object, yet, let me but produce some
    similarity towards the _double_ of a TOM JONES or a BOOTH, and the
    highest pinnacle of my ambition is attained. SMOLLETT, thy touching
    heartfelt qualities break in upon me so penetratingly, that I must
    also invoke thy friendly shrine. And if a RORY RANDOM or a Lieutenant
    BOWLING should ever cross my path, instruct me to portray their noble
    traits with all that richness of colouring, and peculiar happiness of
    style, that once embellished thy truly characteristic pen.

    --"Advance, also the Metropolitan Heroes of Literary Renown, whether
    of GENIUS great, either of _romantic_ style, or of _Poetry_ exquisite,
    of DON JUAN or Lalla Rookh quality, it matters not, if _generosity_
    lie within thine inkstands, and ye put forth your good wishes for my
    success; show me your _passports_ to excellence, and put me in the
    right road, that I may ultimately obtain your proud signatures and
    arrive safe at the end of my journey.

    --"REVIEWS, those terrific Censors of the timid writer, and arbiters
    of the press, whether QUARTERLY,[2] or at EDINBURGH,[3] you who apply
    the _knife_, bear it in mind that VAN BUTCHELL[4] _advertises_ to
    perform _cures_ without _cutting_; and that ABERNETHY[5] is himself
    alone! and also remember, thou _sages_ of the quill, that many an
    unfortunate _homo_ who has been 'damned to everlasting Fame' and
    disposed of in a _Jef_, in thy most omnipotent pages; yet has, from
    the _resuscitating_ glossy aid of Messrs. DAY & MARTIN, become a
    _shining_ Literary Character in Paternoster Row, and formed one of the
    real Portraits of LIFE IN LONDON.

    --"Come forth, my _Mag_ of BLACKWOOD[6]; thee, too, I must invoke!
    thou _chiel_ of SATIRE, whose lively sallies and
    'laughing-in-the-sleeve greatness' that would have paralysed the
    pencil of a HOGARTH, or struck dumb the _piquant_ ridicule of a
    CHURCHILL, if the grim King of Terrors had not deprived us of their
    talents; I challenge thee to the _scratch_! 'Tis ONE OF THE FANCY
    calls! But, from thy _lamb-like_ qualities and _playful_ artillery, it
    must only be a private _set-to_ with the _gloves_. My hand grapples
    with you in friendship--it possesses not _weight_ enough to combat
    with thee, although the _pluck_, perhaps, attached to it may be always
    _gay_. Be it remembered, that BLACKWOOD is always in _training_--he
    _hits_ so very hard--and his BACKERS are likewise so numerous amongst
    the Greeks, Latins, Hebrews, and Classics, that it would be two to one
    against an open contest: therefore, good Mr. Blackwood, be just, nay,
    be more, 'be merciful. It is doubly bless'd'; and you know _Blacky_,
    'it blesseth him that _gives_ and him that _takes_.' Then _floor_ me
    not; but instead:--

        Shoot thine arrow o'er thy house,--
        And do not wound thy brother;

    but whisper to the PACK, and particularly to the _whipper-in_, Old
    Christopher North, that ''TIS I'--(your _flash-y_ friend of the
    South). But let me entreat of you Mr. Blackwood, to _bottle-off_ a few
    of thy little mastery touches (as full of fire as thy famed whisky),
    and send them to me with all the speed of the mail, lest my stock of
    _spirits_ should be exhausted, and that LIFE IN LONDON may be
    enriched with the fine colouring of a _Meg Merrilees_, if it be only
    in perspective."

    --"And MR. COLBURN (thou indefatigable promoter of literature), thy
    assistance I most humbly crave! indeed, I feel assured that thy
    spirited and liberal disposition will not permit thee to omit
    informing those dashing belles and beaux, whose morning lounge gives
    thy repository of the mind an air of fashion, that LIFE IN LONDON is
    worthy of perusal.

           *       *       *       *       *

    "But thou, O MURRAY! whose classic front defies, with terrific awe,
    ill-starred, pale, wan, and _shabbily_-clad GENIUS from approaching
    thy splendid threshold, retreat a little from thy rigid reserve, and
    for once open thy doors, and take the unsophisticated JERRY HAWTHORN
    by the hand; and although not a CHILDE HAROLD in birth, a CORSAIR
    bold, or a HARDY VAUX, _wretched_ exile; yet let me solicit thee to
    introduce him to thy numerous acquaintance, that, having once obtained
    thy _smiling_ sanction, JERRY may not only have the honour of being
    allowed to call again, but to offer his services throughout thy
    extended circle. Grant me but this and whether in simple quires, in
    humble boards, or in Russia, triumphantly gilt, so that thou promote
    my fame, my gratitude attends thee, and values not the mode of thy
    favours."

    "CHRISTIE, I am sure thy goodness will not refuse me the loan of thy
    _erudite_ hammer, if not to _knock down_, yet to dispose of every
    coarse and offensive article; nay more, let them not be numbered in
    the _catalogue_ of my offences."

    "O SHAUGHNESSY, fashion me into thy fine attitudes and guard, to
    protect me from assaults in all the hair-breath escapes I may have to
    encounter in my day and midnight rambles. And thou, O mighty and
    powerful champion, CRIBB, admired hero of the stage, teach me to make
    a _hit_ of so KEAN a quality, that it may not only _tell_, but be long
    remembered in the Metropolis. And Paternoster-row triumpet forth its
    praise and excellence throughout the most distant provinces."

    "ACKERMAN, if ever thou didst _value_ the Tour of DR. SYNTAX, I call
    upon thee now to lend thy friendly assistance and protection to
    CORINTHIAN TOM and his rustic _protege_ poor JERRY. Present a copy of
    their SPREES and RAMBLES to the learned Doctor, and his 'Picturesque'
    brain will be all on fire for another tour, from the new scenes it
    will develop to his unbounded thirst for enterprise and knowledge."

    "And thou, too, HONE, thou king of parodists! turn not a deaf ear to
    my request, but condescendingly grant the petition of your most humble
    suitor. In my diversity of research, teach me 'how to tell my story,'
    that I may not only woo the public with success and fame, but produce
    that fine edge in _sharpening_ up my ideas, yet, withal so smooth and
    _oily_, that instead of _wounding_ characters, I may merely _tickle_
    them and create a smile!"

    "_Tremblingly alive!_ nay, heavily oppressed with agitation and fear,
    I now intrude myself into thy presence, thou renowned hero of the
    police, TOWNSHEND. Do not frown upon me, but stretch out thine hand to
    my assistance, thou bashaw of the _prigs_ and all-but _beak_! The
    satellite of kings and princes, protector of the nobility, and one of
    the _safe guards_ of the Metropolis. Listen to my application, I
    entreat thee, 'my knowing one,' and for once let me take a _peep_ into
    thy hiden invaluable secrets. It is only a _glance_ at thy _reader_[7]
    that I request:--

        Wherein of hundreds _topp'd_, thousands lagg'd;
        And of the innumerable _teazings_ thou has book'd.

    thy 'Life in London,' alone, is a history of such magnitude, that, if
    once developed, the 'Adventures of Robinson Crusoe' must be forgotten.
    O teach me, TOWNSEY, to be as _down_ in my portraits as thou art in
    giving all the light and shade of criminality to the nightly mysteries
    of the wary FENCE when pressing for a conviction; and likewise, to
    keep as sharp a look out after _characters_ in the ball-room of the
    CORINTHIANS as thy penetrating eyes scour the abodes of the great when
    'at home' to make all right. I ask no more than:

        Sit mihi fas audita loqui; sit numine vestro
        Pandere res alta terra et caligine mersas."

PIERCE EGAN--THE AUTHOR--Then more particularly appeals to the Brothers R.
and G. CRUIKSHANK and to [Pointing Hand] HIMSELF!!! as BOXIANA, thus:--

    "In all your varied portraiture of the interesting scenes of Life, let
    me invoke thy superior talents, BOB and GEORGE CRUIKSHANK (thou
    _Gillray_[8] of the day, and of _Don Saltero_[9] greatness), to my
    anxious aid. Indeed, I have need of all your illustrative touches; and
    may we be hand-and-glove together in depicting the richness of nature,
    which so wantonly, at times, plays off her freaks upon half-famished
    bone-rakers and cinder sifters round the dust hill, that we may be
    found, _en passant_, so identified with the scene in question, as
    almost to form a part of the group. May you also, BOB and GEORGE,
    _grapple_ with _Hogarthian_ energy, in displaying _tout a la monde_
    the sublime and _finished_ part of creation, whether _screwed_ up to a
    _semi-tone_ of ART, or in nobly delineating, what must always be a
    welcome visitor at every residence, and likewise an admired portrait
    over all the chimney-pieces in the kingdom--a PERFECT GENTLEMAN. But,
    before I dismiss you to your studies, bear it in remembrance, 'nothing
    to extenuate, or set down aught in malice;' yet be tremblingly alive
    to the _shrug_ of the fastidious critic, who might, in his sneer,
    remark, that CARICATURE would be as much out of time and place in
    holding up to ridicule the interior of the religious good man's
    closet, as it is animatedly required in giving all the rusticity and
    fun incident to the humours of a country life."

    --"And, thou, O BOXIANA! my dearest friend and well-wisher, thou
    beloved companion of all my hours, thou 'note book' of my MIND, and
    'pen-and-ink remembrancer' of my passing scenes, whether in splendid
    palaces, lost in admiration over the fascinating works of art, or in
    _diving_ into the humble cellar, passing an hour with some of
    mankind's worthiest children, poor, but contented and happy,--be thou
    my guide and assistant! Do not desert me, at _peep o' day_, when
    drowsy Watchmen quit their posts, and coffee-shops _vomit_ forth their
    _snoozing_ customers--those out-casts of society--to whom a table is a
    luxury to rest their thoughtless heads upon, and whose:--

        Dry desert of a leather pocket book does not contain
        A solitary farthing!

    Be also at my elbow, upon the _strut_ in Hyde Park, on Sunday's stare,
    when Sol's bright rays over _Fashion's_ splendid scene gives such a
    brilliancy of appearance. And be thou near to me, should midnight
    Covent Garden rows claim my attention, when _noisy rattles_ collect
    together the dissipated ramblers _touched_ with the potent juice of
    Bacchus, and entangled with _hoarse Cyprians_ in the last stage of
    existence, till dragged to the watch-house, where the black hole gives
    a _limit_ to their depravity of exclamation. In this respect, BOXIANA,
    let thine ear be as nice as SPAGNIOLETTI'S; anxious, like this great
    master of the Cremona, to give all the force and beauty of
    composition, but carefully to avoid a note being out of tune. Then,
    for once, let me entreat of thee, in soliciting thy assistance, that
    thou wilt take off the _gloves_, quit the prize ring, put down thy
    _steamer_, and for awhile dispense with thy DAFFY, but, above all,
    stear clear from the _slang_,[10] except, indeed, where the instances
    decidedly call it forth, in order to produce an effect, and _emphasis_
    of character. Then, fare thee well?"

        _Vive vale--si quid novisti rectius istis,
        Candidus imperti; si non, his utere mecum._--HORACE.

    --"Farewell and be happy--if you know of any precepts better than
    these, be so candid as to communicate them, if not, partake of these
    with me."

        ----------"If a better system's thine,
        Impart it freely, or make use of mine."

Early in the career of the publication of LIFE IN LONDON, there seems to
have been some adverse criticisms by at least a section of the Press on
the _slang_ of the Author; and the somewhat highly coloured and _spicey_
Plates of the Brothers Cruikshank, as in CHAPTER VI., page 84, Part III.,
there is the following apology, or, explanation printed as a foot-note
thus:--

    --"I am aware that some of my readers of a higher class of society,
    may feel, or seem to think, that I have introduced a little too much
    of the _slang_; but I am anxious to render myself perfectly
    intelligible to all parties. Half the world are _up_ to it; and it is
    my intention to make the other half _down_ to it. LIFE IN LONDON
    demands this sort of demonstration. A kind of _cant_ phraseology is
    current from one end of the Metropolis to the other: indeed, even in
    the time of Lord Chesterfield, he complained of it. In some females of
    the highest rank, it is as strongly marked, as in _dingy_
    draggled-tail SALL, who is compelled to dispose of a few sprats to
    turn an honest penny: and while the latter, in smacking her lips,
    talks of her _prime jackey_, an _out-and-out_ concern, a _bit of good
    truth_, &c., the former, in her dislikes, tossing her head, observes,
    it was _shocking_, _quite a bore_, _beastly, stuff_, &c. The Duchess,
    at an Opera, informs the Countess of a '_row_' which occurred on the
    last evening with as much _sang-froid_, as CARROTTY POLL mentions to a
    _Costardmonger_ the _lark_ she was engaged in, at a gin-spinner's,
    and, in being turned out of the _panny_, got her _ogles_ taken
    _measure_ of for a _suit of mourning_. Therefore, some allowance must
    be made for an author who is compelled to write under a subdued tone
    of expression--in order to keep his promise made to the public in the
    PROSPECTUS issued by him prior to the publication of the work. In fact
    in many instances, the language of real Life is so very strong,
    coarse, and even disgusting, that, in consequence of keeping the above
    object in view, the points of many a rich scene are in great danger of
    being nearly frittered away; nay, of being almost reduced to tameness
    and insipidity. My ingenious friends, ROBERT and GEORGE CRUIKSHANK,
    whose talents in representing "the living manners as they rise" stand
    unrivalled in this peculiar line, feel as strongly impressed with the
    value of _delicacy_ as I do. But if some of the plates should appear
    rather _warm_, the purchaser of 'LIFE IN LONDON' may feel assured,
    that nothing is added to them tending to _excite_, but, on the
    contrary, they have most anxiously, on all occasions, given the
    preference rather to '_extenuate_' than to 'set down aught in malice.'
    All the Plates are the exact representations, as they occurred of the
    various classes of society."

       *       *       *       *       *

The Prospectus alluded to at page xi., was after the following form.

    --"The grand object of this Work is an attempt to portray what is
    termed 'SEEING LIFE' in all its various bearings upon Society; from
    the _high mettled_ CORINTHIAN of St. James' _swaddled_ in luxury, down
    to the _needy Flue-Faker_ of Wapping, _born without a shirt_, and
    destitute of a _bit of scran_ to allay his piteous cravings. 'LIFE IN
    LONDON' then, is the sport in view; and provided the _Chase_ is turned
    to good account. 'SEEING LIFE' will be found to have its _advantages_.
    No leaning upon the elbows is necessary to _imagine scenes_, after the
    manner of the 'Mysteries of Udolpho,' neither has it been deemed
    expedient to have a fairy stationed upon a Lake, during the thunder
    and lightning of some dreadful night, in order to work up the mind of
    the Writer to depict what he has seen, with a touch of the terrific.

    "The DESIGNS have been sketched, as they occurred, and the Artists, in
    conjunction with the Writer, have booked the 'GLOWING SCENE, _fraught
    with fun, gaiety, style_, anecdote, _and character_,' at the moment it
    presented itself, and which, if once lost sight of, perhaps, could
    never have been retraced;--instead of trusting to their _recollection_
    at an after period, which has too often been the cause of giving a
    sort of _insipidity_ and _dulness_, characterizing 'STILL' instead of
    the fire and animation that hovers over '_Real_' LIFE.

    "It will, also, be found that 'JERRY' had higher objects in view, than
    _breaking a Watchman's lantern_, and agitating a _tinkler_ to _queer_
    the _Roosters_, or, that his energies and talents existed _only_ in a
    Row. It is not necessary, however, to dilate on the merits of a Work
    that affords such an inexhaustible scope, as 'Life in London;'
    neither, perhaps, is it too much to conclude, that it will be a
    production, at which the GRAVE may smile, the GAY feel delight, the
    COMICAL laugh heartily, and the PATHETIC have occasion for a wipe. The
    MODEST it is trusted, will not have occasion to turn aside with
    disgust, nor the MORALIST to shut the book offended. The CORINTHIANS
    likewise, will have no occasion to be ashamed to acknowledge 'TOM' as
    one of their party; the UNIVERSITIES not the slightest complaint to
    _expel_, or even _rusticate_ 'BOB LOGIC,' nor the large Family of the
    HAWTHORNS to disown--poor JERRY, for his SPREES and RAMBLES in the
    METROPOLIS."

       *       *       *       *       *

During the periodic publication of LIFE IN LONDON it was generally
supposed that the character-parts! of TOM, JERRY and LOGIC, were portraits
of particular individuals, and there was much speculation and ink-slinging
in respect to "_Who is Who?_" In the House of Lords it was whispered that
the gallant and daring TOM represented his Grace the Duke of Wellington;
JERRY, his Grace the Duke of Buckingham; and LOGIC, no less a personage
than the Lord Chancellor. In the House of Commons it was said that TOM was
intended for that worthy legal bibliophile, Mr. Butterworth, the pious
member for Coventry; that Mr. Martin of Galway, pleaded guilty to JERRY;
and the acute and knowing Mr. Hume sat for the all-awake leary LOGIC. On
the other hand it was positively asserted at the West-end that TOM
_type-ified_ the elegant and spirited Colonel Berkeley; that the
unsophisticated hopeful sprig of rurality, JERRY, was drawn, _ad vivum_,
from Mr. Pea-Green Hayne,[11] while LOGIC absolutely personated that
notorious _modern Greek scholar_, the _learned, larking, laconic, Parson
Colton_.[12]

In the City, _per contra_, it was _currently reported on 'Change_ that
TOM, from his love of fun, and knowledge of good living, was the _locum
tenens_ of that _great_ and _learned_ man, and most facetious Banking
Baronet, Sir William--more succinctly and familiarly _Billy_--Curtis, of
the "_three R.'s_" notoriety;[13]--that JERRY was the picture of Mr.
_Treble_, _X_ Sheriff Parkins; and that LOGIC was an outline of Mr.
Alderman Wood. But, Mr. W. T. Moncrieff states that he can, however,
safely assert that all these suppositions are totally unfounded, as the
characters of TOM, JERRY and LOGIC, were autobiographical sketches of the
_artists_ to whom they severally originally owe their being. The talented,
spirited George Cruikshank was himself, in all the better points, the
TOM--of the Corinthian Order; he is so admirably delineated; his very
clever brother Isaac Robert, then perhaps less experienced, condescended
to pass for JERRY, and the _downey_ Pierce Egan--"'None but himself can be
his parallel'[14]--was his own LOGIC--the Oxonian in green
specs--gig-lamps!" Mr. Moncrieff continues--"they having _tria juncta in
uno_ produced the admirable foundation of this Piece.[15] May they
speedily furnish the public with some more of their _larks_, _sprees_ and
_rambles_--the world will thank them for the gift."

It is now a matter of history that the Brothers Cruikshank, first designed
and engraved the Plates for the original Edition of LIFE IN LONDON, and,
then, Pierce Egan wrote the letter-press up to them from month to month to
the completion of the work in July, 1821.

To this order of things there was, however, one exception, namely in
December, 1820,--"'twas Christmas, merry Christmas time, when 'Man being
reasonable, must get drunk,'" and Pierce Egan, admitted that he got too
much _Daffy_ aboard the over night, and that on waking up late the next
morning he found his pocket-book containing his _Notes!_ _i.e._, "copy"
absent without leave. He therefore published at page 275 as follows:--

    TO THE SUBSCRIBERS TO "LIFE IN LONDON."

    THE AUTHOR IN DISTRESS![16]

    He jests at a "LARK" that never felt a SCRATCH!

    My numerous and dearest Friends:--

    Of necessity, I am compelled to state to you, that having accepted an
    invitation from BOB LOGIC, about three weeks since, to spend an
    evening with him and a few of his _Swell Pals_, at the _Albany_, I
    pleaded business, and that the "_First of the Month_" must come. "I
    know it," replied BOB, "but it shall be a _sober_ set-out: PIERCE, you
    shall _tipple_ as you like." In consequence of BOB'S _plausibility_, I
    was _gammoned_ to be one of the _squad_. Mixed liquors and _steamers_
    were the order of the _darkey_. But he praised so highly a cargo of
    _daffy_, which he had just received from the NONPAREIL[17] that
    _Daffy_ and _water_ was the preferred _suit_. After a glass or two had
    been _sluiced_ over the _ivories_ of the party, which made some of
    them begin loudly to _chaff_, BOB gave the _wink_ to his _slavey_,
    observing that more hot water was wanted. A large kettle, boiling at
    the spout, was speedily introduced, but instead of _water_ read
    _boiling Daffy_. The assumed gravity of BOB'S _mug_ upon playing off
    this _trick_ was quite a treat, but I am happy to say _Crooky
    booked_[18] it. "Come, gents," said BOB, "please yourselves, here is
    plenty of water, now mix away." It had the desired effect. The glass
    was pushed about so quickly; that the "First of the Month" was soon
    _forgotten_, and we kept it up till very long after the REGULARS had
    been _tucked_ up in their _dabs_, and only the _Roosters_ and the
    "_Peep-o'-Day-Boys_" were out on the prowl for a _spree_. At length a
    _move_ was made, but not a _rattler_ was to be had. BOB and the party,
    _chaffing_, proposed to see the _Author_ safe to his _sky-parlour_.
    The boys were _primed_ for anything. Upon turning the corner of
    _Sydney's Alley_, into Leicester-Fields,[19] we were assailed by some
    _trouble customers_, and a _turn-up_ was the result (as the Plate[20]
    most accurately represents). BOB got a _stinker_, and poor I received
    a _chancery-suit_ upon the _nob_. How I reached the _upper-story_, I
    know not; but, on waking late in the day, I found my pocket-book was
    absent--without leave. I was in great grief at its loss, not on
    account of the _blunt_ it contained--much worse--the _notes_ in it
    were dearer than gold to me. The account of JERRY'S introduction to
    the Marchioness of Diamonds, the Duchess of Hearts, Lady Wanton, Dick
    Trifle, Bill Dash, &c., &c., on his appearance in Rotten Row with the
    CORINTHIAN, _booked_ on the spot. I was in a complete _funk_. I
    immediately went to _sartain persons_, and communicated my loss;
    _how_, _where_, and _when_; and I was consoled, that, if it were safe,
    PIERCE EGAN should have it. Day after day passed, and no account of
    it;--I gave it up for lost, and scratched my _moppery_, again and
    _again_, but could not recollect _accurately_, the substance of my
    notes. I was sorry for myself;--I was sorry for the public. However,
    on Friday morning last, taking a _turn_ into Paternoster Row, my
    friend Jones[21] smiling, said he had got the Book:--as he is fond of
    a bit of _gig_, I thought he was in _fun_,--but, on handing it over to
    me, with the following letter, my _peepers_ twinkled again with
    delight.

    _To the care of Mr. Jones, for_ P. EGAN.

    Sir,--You see as how I have sent that ere _Litter_.[22] Pocket-Book,
    which so much _row_ has been _kicked_ up about amongst us. Vy it an't
    vorth a single _tonic_,[23] _Who's_ to understand it? vy it's full of
    pot-hooks and hangers[24]--and not a _screen_[25] in it. You are
    determined nobody shall _nose_ your _idears_. If your name had not
    been _chaunted_ in it, it would have been _dinged_ into the _dunagan_.
    But remember, no _conking_.

        From yours, &c.,
          TIM HUSTLE.

    Dec. 20, 1820.

    The joy I felt on recovering my Pocket-Book I cannot communicate. The
    return of it, however, arrived too late to prevent the following:--

    APOLOGY.

    In consequence of BOB LOGIC'S _Daffy_, only one sheet of Letter Press
    accompanies the Plates of No. 5; but, to make up for this unavoidable
    deficiency, THREE SHEETS of Letter Press will be given in No. 6.

    I therefore trust, under the circumstances of the case, a liberal
    allowance will be made, when it is recollected that such RAMBLES and
    SPREES FIRST gave the Author an idea of detailing some of the "_rich
    scenes_" which are only to be found in

    LIFE IN LONDON.

    Wishing health and happiness, united with the compliments of the
    season, to all my numerous Subscribers,

        I remain,
          Your much obliged and humble servant,
            P. EGAN.

    _Sky-Parlour,
    January 1, 1821._

In CHAPTER XIV. of the original LIFE IN LONDON, there is such a graphic
description of TOM, JERRY and LOGIC--the _Oxonian_; making a "_jolly_
NIGHT _of it_" at the once famed Vauxhall Gardens: written in so truly a
_Piercy Egania!!!_ style that we are tempted to reproduce it in its
entirety for the benefit of our readers, together with a few _Notes_ of
our own to follow.

    ----"I perceive," said TOM, "on perusing the newspaper, Vauxhall
    Gardens are open, and therefore, JERRY, to-night we will pay them a
    visit." "It is an extraordinary place, indeed," replied HAWTHORN, "if
    my _Old Dad_ and _Mam_ have not exaggerated its grandeur; but, as the
    _old people_ have not been used to _sights_, it may account for their
    astonishment and rapture in speaking about them." "I am not surprised
    at that," answered TOM, smiling; "in my humble opinion, it has not its
    equal in the world. There is nothing like it in Paris. PLEASURE holds
    her court at _Vauxhall_. In those gay regions, you are liable to
    jostle against the _gods_ and _goddesses_--BACCHUS you will find
    frequently at your elbow--VENUS and the _Graces_ passing and
    repassing, yet condescendingly _smiling_ upon you--MOMUS surrounded by
    fun and laughter--TERPSICHORE attending upon your _steps_--and APOLLO
    winding up the whole with the most pleasing harmony." "NO LETHE, then
    is necessary at Vauxhall, I suppose," said JERRY, ironically,
    interrupting TOM. "Yes, my dear COZ," answered the CORINTHIAN. "It
    might be inferred that nearly, if not all the visitors, upon entering
    Vauxhall Gardens, had drank of the waters of LETHE, for everything
    else seems to be _forgotten_ on joining this enchanting scene:
    however, I can speak for myself in this respect." "Excellently well
    defined, TOM," replied LOGIC. "To me, Vauxhall is the festival of LOVE
    and HARMONY, and produces a most happy mixture of society. There is no
    _precision_ about it, and every person can be _accommodated_, however
    _substantial_, or _light_ and _airy_ their _palates_. If _eating_, my
    dear JERRY, is the object in view, you will perceive tables laid out
    in every box, and the order is only wanted by the waiter instantly to
    gratify the appetite. If _drinking_, the _punch_ is so prime, and
    immediately follows the call, that it will soon make you as lively as
    a harlequin. If inclined to _waltz_ or to _reel_, partners can be
    procured without the formality of a master of the ceremonies. If you
    are fond of _singing_, the notes of that ever-green, MRS. BLAND, never
    fail to touch the heart. If attached to _music_, the able performers
    in the orchestra, the Pandean minstrels, and regimental bands, in
    various parts of the gardens, prove quite a treat. If _promenading_ is
    your _forte_, you will find illuminated walks of the most interesting
    and animated description. Numerous persons of the highest quality:
    myriads of lovely females, with gaiety beaming upon every countenance;
    and the pleasure of meeting with old friends and acquaintances, render
    the _tout ensemble_ impressively elegant and fascinating. Even the
    _connoisseur_ in paintings may find subjects at Vauxhall too rich to
    be passed over in haste. In short, there is such an endless variety of
    amusements, in rapid succession, from the song to the dance--from
    refreshment to the glass--from the cascade to the fireworks, that time
    positively flies in these Gardens. _Reflection_ is not admitted; and
    the _senses_ are all upon the alert. You may be as _extravagant_ as
    you please, or you need not spend a single _farthing_, if economy is
    your object, and not be found fault with neither. If you like it so
    best," continued the _Oxonian_, smiling, "you may be as gay as a
    dancing-master, and enter into all the fun and frolic by which you are
    surrounded; or you can be as _decorous_ as a parson in his pulpit, and
    be nothing more than a common observer. But if _enjoyment_ is your
    _motto_, you may make the most of an evening in these Gardens more
    than at any other place in the Metropolis. It is all free and
    easy--stay as long as you like, and depart when you think proper."
    "Your description is so flattering," replied JERRY, "that I do not
    care how soon the time arrives for us to start." LOGIC proposed a "bit
    of a stroll," in order to get rid of an hour or two, which was
    immediately accepted by TOM and JERRY. A _turn_ or two in Bond
    Street--a _stroll_ through Piccadilly--a "_look in_" at
    Tattersall's--a _ramble_ through Pall Mall--and a _strut_ on the
    _Corinthian Path_, fully occupied the time of our heroes till the hour
    for dinner arrived, when a few glasses of TOM'S rich wines soon put
    them on the _qui vive_; VAUXHALL was then the object in view, and the
    TRIO started, bent upon enjoying all the pleasures which this place so
    amply affords to its visitors.

    "It is really delightful," exclaimed JERRY, on his entering the
    Gardens, during the first act of the concert; "I was, on my first
    visit, enraptured with Sydney Gardens, at Bath; but, I must confess,
    that the brilliancy of this scene is so superior that it appears to me
    like a NEW WORLD, and you have not, my friends, _overrated_ it."

    HAWTHORN, under the guidance of his _pals_, was not long in exploring
    the illuminated walks, the rotunda, and everything belonging to this
    fashionable place of resort. Our hero was in high spirits; LOGIC was
    also _ripe_ for a _spree_; and the CORINTHIAN so agreeable in
    disposition, that he made known to his two friends he was ready to
    _accommodate_ them in any proposition they might feel inclined to
    make. JERRY expressed himself much pleased with the arrangement and
    performance of the concert; and he likewise observed, the music of the
    songs reflected considerable credit on the talents of the
    composer.[26] On passing through the rooms attached to the rotunda, in
    which the paintings of _Hogarth_ and _Hayman_[27] are exhibited, and
    also the portraits of the late King and Queen, on their coming to the
    throne, JERRY, with a smile, retorted upon LOGIC, "that those
    paintings certainly could not be passed over in haste, if the
    proprietors of the _Gardens_ thought _catalogues_ were not necessary,
    it would, however, prove much more pleasing to the visitors if a few
    lines were painted under them, by way of _explanation_." "I must agree
    with your remarks," replied LOGIC; "no visitor ought to be suffered to
    remain in the _dark_ on any subject amidst such a blaze of
    illumination. Never mind criticising any more about these pictures;
    let us retire to a nice little box, for I assure you my _ogles_ have
    feasted enough, and I stand in need of much more substantial
    refreshment. Some burnt-wine, _ham shavings_,[28] chickens, sherry,
    and a lively drop of arrack-punch, my boys, will enable us to finish
    the evening like _trumps_." "A good proposition," cried TOM. "It is,"
    said JERRY; "and I second it." The TRIO immediately left the _gay_
    scene, for a short period, to partake of all the _choice_ articles
    which the larder could produce to please their palates. The _bottle_
    was not suffered to stand still by our heroes, and the _punch_ also
    moved off with great facility, till the lively military band invited
    them once more to join the merry dance, when LOGIC, full of fun and
    laughter, said, "he was now able to _reel_ with any lady or gentleman
    in the Gardens." "Yes," replied TOM, laughing heartily, "I'll back you
    on that score, BOB; but not to _dance_." The elegant appearance and
    address of the CORINTHIAN soon procured him lots of dashing partners:
    JERRY was not behind his COZ in that respect; and the agility both our
    heroes displayed on the "light fantastic toe" attracted numerous
    _gazers_. LOGIC, who was for "pushing along, keep moving," as he
    termed it, was interrupted in his pursuit by a _jack-o'-dandy_ hero,
    and who also quizzed the _Oxonian_ with the appellation of "_Old
    Barnacles_." Some sharp words passed in reply from LOGIC, when the
    _dandy_, who was rather _snuffy_, as well as impudent, put himself
    into a posture of defence, crying out, "Come on my fine _fealow_, I'll
    soon spoil your daylights." The _Oxonian_ immediately gave the _dandy_
    so severe a blow on his head that he measured his length on the ground
    like a log of wood: and, on LOGIC perceiving the fallen _dandy_ quite
    terrified, he assumed to be in a most violent rage, and addressing two
    of the sisterhood near him, with "My dears, if you do not hold my
    arms, I am so tremendous a fellow, I shall certainly do him a
    mischief." This piece of bombast had the desired effect; and the
    _dandy_, amidst roars of laughter, endeavoured to get up and run away;
    but LOGIC held him, and said, "That was the way he took to _correct_
    fellows who addressed him improperly; and, to prevent mistakes in
    future, he advised him to remember Mr. _Green Specs_." The _Oxonian_,
    anxious to keep up the fun, pretended, all of a sudden, to be in great
    agony, and, putting up his hand to his head, exclaimed, in a piteous
    tone, "I have got the worst of it after all; I have lost an eye." "I
    hope not," said a lady, a little advanced in years, who was an
    observer of the scene, apparently much grieved at his misfortune.
    "Never mind, my love," replied LOGIC; "it is only a _green_ one; I can
    get another," showing his spectacles, with one of his glasses out. BOB
    now _reeled_ off, receiving the applause of the spectators as a very
    funny fellow. On the conclusion of the dance, TOM and JERRY traversed
    the Gardens, and enjoyed themselves to the utmost extent in all the
    variety they afforded, till day-light had long given them the hint it
    was time to think of home. LOGIC, as upon former occasions, was not to
    be found; and the CORINTHIAN and his COZ were compelled to leave
    Vauxhall without him.


[Illustration]

Under the Especial Patronage of HIS MAJESTY.

ROYAL GARDENS, VAUXHALL.--The Proprietors respectfully beg leave to
acquaint the Public that these Gardens having been newly and fancifully
decorated, are now open for the SEASON, every Monday, Wednesday, and
Friday Evenings. TO-MORROW, June 11, Wednesday and Friday Evenings next, a
Vaudeville, written by Mr. Moncrieffe, called ACTORS' AL FRESCO; or, the
Play in the Pleasure Grounds. With principally original Music composed by
Messrs. T. Cooke, Blewitt, and Horn. Sir Udolph Honeysuckle, Mr. S.
Bennett; Orlando Saville, Mr. Horn; Signor Patrick O'Diddle, Mr.
Fitzwilliam; Jeremy Crambo, Mr. Woulds; Miss Frances Honeysuckle, Miss
Graddon; Miss Penelope Honeysuckle, Miss Pearce; Sally Larkspur, Mrs.
Fitzwilliam; Villagers, &c., &c.--The Vaudeville will begin at a quarter
past eight.--Author and Stage Manager, Mr. Moncrieffe.

An Entirely NEW DIVERTISEMENT (composed by Mr. Ridgway), for which a
numerous Corps de Ballet is engaged.

In the course of the Evening, Mr. BLACKMORE will perform his astonishing
Feats on the Slack Rope.

The FIRE-WORKS, with the wonderful Ascent on the Rope, by BLACKMORE, will
be exhibited with their usual splendour, by those celebrated Artists,
SOUTHBY and D'ERNST.

The CONCERT, which has ever formed a prominent feature, will be performed
as heretofore, in the original and much admired Orchestra, in the open
Gardens; and will consist of entirely new Songs, Duets, Glees, &c.,
composed by Cooke, Blewitt, and Horn, and sung by Messrs. Woulds, Horn,
Benson, Tinney, and Fitzwilliam, Miss Graddon, Mrs. Austin, and Mrs.
Fitzwilliam.

The Military and Scotch Bands, under the direction of Mr. Hopkins will be
in attendance.--Director and Leader of the Music, Mr. T. Cooke; Composers,
Messrs. T. Cooke, Blewitt, and Horn.

The Scenery and Decorations by Messrs. Thorn, Cox, and Assistants.
Mechanists, Messrs. Shaw, Lowe, &c.

A Spectacle of an extraordinary nature, on a scale of magnitude never yet
attempted in any Country, is in preparation, and will speedily be
announced.--Doors open at Seven.--Admission, 4s.


_VAUXHALL._

Vauxhall Gardens--the gay and favourite spot of metropolitan amusement,
and of fashionable resort in the summer season--commenced their
attractions to the public on Monday. The weather was highly favourable.
The entertainments of the evening commenced with a _petit_ piece _Actors'
Al Fresco; or, The Play in The Pleasure Grounds_, by Mr. Moncrieffe. It
was received favourably, though certainly not possessing such claims to
public favour as one might expect from the popular author of _Tom and
Jerry, Don Giovanni, &c._ The Concert consisted of entirely new songs,
duets, glees, &c., composed by Horn, Cooke, and Blewitt; one of the
songs--a comic one--the composition of Blewitt, possessed more merit, both
as to the words and the music, than compositions for a temporary occasion,
like the present, usually do. The space afforded to the public for a view
of the fire-works was more limited than hitherto. This contracted
allowance of accommodation, we understand, is attributable to arrangements
which are making to celebrate the approaching anniversary of the Battle of
Waterloo, on a scale of unequalled brilliancy and splendour. The boxes and
several compartments in the gardens are painted in a pleasing light
colour--a mixture of green and white--which imparts a freshness and rural
appearance to the scene, far more agreeable to the eye than the gaudy
tints which were adopted in the previous decorations.--_Bell's Life in
London._


[Illustration]

GRAND CORONATION FETE!

UNDER THE SPECIAL PATRONAGE OF HIS MAJESTY.

ROYAL GARDENS, VAUXHALL.--The Proprietors respectfully acquaint the
Public, that it is their intention to celebrate this Anniversary
TO-MORROW, Monday, 21st July, 1828, in a style very superior indeed to any
Gala it has ever been in their power of producing, as they are enabled to
embrace all the distinguished characteristics of the Spanish Fete, in
which the Royal, Noble, and distinguished Visitors were so highly
delighted on the 8th instant. The ANNIVERSARY of the CORONATION of His
MAJESTY may therefore be termed a Superb Repetition of the brilliant
Illuminations, extensive and novel Decorations, &c., &c., of that night;
and the Public are assured, that the most splendid preparations are in
progress, to entertain, delight, and surprise the Visitors. The Gardens
will be made one entire scene of light, by every avenue and walk
exhibiting illuminated Ornaments, Mottoes, &c., &c., in variegated Lamps
and Transparencies; and the following is a slight Programme of the Night's
Amusements:--

THE HYDROPYRIC EXHIBITION, which increases nightly in the favour of the
Public, will be performed with all its numerous cascades of coloured fire
and variegated water.

A NEW VAUDEVILLE, in the Rotunda Theatre. The Songs, Duets, &c., adapted
to familiar Airs; previously to which Master Charles will perform a Solo
on the Violin.

RAMO SAMEE, the wonderful Indian Juggler, will delight the Company with
his surprising performances with Knives, Balls, Pyramids, &c., &c.

A SUPERB DISPLAY of FIRE-WORKS will take place immediately after the
Concert. The Proprietors pride themselves much upon the universal
approbation and delight afforded by the displays of Fire-Works at
Vauxhall, and which can be witnessed at no other place of amusement in the
kingdom; and they pledge themselves that the Fire-Works of this Evening
shall be of the very first character. The Artist has directions
(regardless of expense) to produce the most splendid display.

Under the especial Patronage of HIS MAJESTY.


ROYAL GARDENS, VAUXHALL.--TO-MORROW, June 29, Wednesday, July 1, Friday
July 3, will be presented, in the Rotunda, an entirely New Vaudeville,
called

A DAY UP THE RIVER,

With New Music, composed by Mr. T. Cooke and Mr. Blewitt. The characters
by Messrs. T. Cooke, Weekes, G. Smith, Robinson, W. H. Williams; Miss P.
Horton, and Miss Helme.

A CONCERT,

In the open Orchestra, in which several New songs will be introduced for
the first time.

A New Pantomime (first time), called

THE YELLOW DWARF; or Harlequin Knight of the Lion.

Under the direction of Mons. Hullin.

Mr. GREY, having been honoured every Evening with the most unbounded
applause, will continue to exhibit his unrivalled

FANTOCCINI.

The Amusements will terminate with a display of

FIRE-WORKS

Towards the close of which will be exhibited an HYDROPYRIC TEMPLE, from
which will issue a Grand Discharge of Fire, interspersed with Waterfalls,
Cascades, Jets d'Eaux, &c.

Admission for the Season and Nightly Cards may be had at 23, Ludgate-hill;
141, Fleet-street; 8, Charing-cross; 146, Oxford-street; and at the
Gardens.

Books, descriptive of the Amusements and Songs of the Opera and Concert,
to be had in the Gardens only.

The Gardens are opened every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

Parties desirous of Dining in the Gardens can be accommodated at or after
Six o'clock.

Doors open at Seven.--Admission 4s.


Under the especial Patronage of HIS MAJESTY.

ROYAL GARDENS, VAUXHALL.--The Proprietors respectfully acquaint the
Public, That these GARDENS WILL OPEN for the SEASON TO-MORROW, Monday,
June 1, and will continue open during the Summer, every Monday, Wednesday
and Friday; and they have the pleasure of announcing that they have
succeeded in obtaining for a few Nights the powerful aid of Miss Fanny
Ayton, Mesdames, Castelli and De Angioli, Signor Torri, Guiberlel, De
Angiolli, and Pelegrini, to sing in

ITALIAN OPERA BUFFA.

These performers will have the honour of appearing on the first night, in
Rossini's celebrated Opera of Il Barbiere di Seviglia, which will be given
in the Rotunda Theatre. The Musical Department under the direction of Mr.
T. Cooke; Conductor Mr. Blewitt.

A CONCERT,

As heretofore, in the original Orchestra in the open Gardens, consisting
of New Songs, Duets, &c., to be sung by Mr. W. H. Williams, Mr. Robinson,
Mr. G. Smith, and Mr. Weekes (from the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane), Miss P.
Horton (Pupil of Mr. Blewitt), and Miss Helme.

An entire new COMIC BALLET will be performed in the open Theatre, under
the direction of Mons. Hullin, called

POLICHINEL VAMPIRE.

The Dancers principally from the Opera Theatre, assisted by numerous corps
de ballet. Leader of the Ballet, Mr. R. Hughes.

The Scenery, with various paintings and many New Cosmoramas, dispersed
about the Gardens, by Mr. Cocks and Assistants. The amusements will
terminate with a display of

FIRE-WORKS.

Towards the close of which will be exhibited an HYDROPYRIC TEMPLE, from
which will issue a Grand Discharge of Fire, interspersed with Waterfalls,
Cascades, Jets d'Eaux, &c. The Fire-Works' Artists are Mr. Southby and Mr.
D'Ernst, whose inimitable displays have given such unmixed satisfaction
for several successive Seasons.--The Military and Scotch Bands under the
direction of Mr. Hopkins.

Admission for the Season and Nightly Cards may be had at 23, Ludgate-hill;
141, Fleet-street; 148, Oxford-street; and at the Gardens.

Books, descriptive of the Amusements and Songs of the Opera and Concerts,
to be had in the Gardens only.

The Italian Opera will begin at Ten o'clock. Doors open at
Seven.--Admission, 4s.


[Illustration]

UNDER THE ESPECIAL PATRONAGE OF HIS MAJESTY.

ROYAL GARDENS, VAUXHALL.--OPEN EVERY MONDAY, WEDNESDAY, and
FRIDAY.--TO-MORROW (Monday), 14th July, a variety Entertainment will be
given, consisting of an entirely New Vaudeville, entitled SHE WOULD IF SHE
COULD. Adapted to favourite and familiar Airs. Characters by Mr. T. Cooke,
Mr. S. Bennett, Mr W. H. Williams, Miss Knight, Miss Helme, and Mrs.
Younge, &c., &c., &c.--The New Pantomime, called HARLEQUIN IN THE
BOTTLE.--A Concert in the open Orchestra. The Dioramic Pictures,
Cosmoramas, and Spectre Grove. The unrivalled Performances of the
celebrated CHING LAURO.--To conclude with the GRAND NOVELTY of the
HYDROPYRIC EXHIBITION, which is received with the most tumultuous marks of
approbation, forming a display of Water and Fire-Works never before
attempted in any country. The Military and Scotch Bands as usual.--Doors
open at Seven.--Admission, 4s.--Books, with all the particulars of the
Performance, in the Rotunda Theatre, Ballet, open Orchestra, &c., &c., to
be had only in the Gardens.--Beware of spurious Pamphlets, pressed upon
the Public at the entrance.


UNDER THE ESPECIAL PATRONAGE OF HIS MAJESTY.

ROYAL GARDENS, VAUXHALL.--For a FEW NIGHTS LONGER.--The Proprietors
respectfully inform the Public, that in consequence of the decided
favourable state of the Weather, the Gardens will be Open TO-MORROW,
Wednesday and Friday, when the UNION GALA will be repeated with (if
possible) increased splendour and effect. The whole of the Illuminations,
Decorations, Mottoes, &c., which afforded so much delight last Evening,
will be again exhibited, and a continual succession of Entertainments take
place from the time the doors open, including the amusing LOTTERY
PRESENTS.--Doors open at Seven. Admission, 4s.


SURREY THEATRE.--Under the direction of Mr. ELLISTON, TO-MORROW, June 16,
will be presented THE MILLER'S MAID. Giles, Mr. Rayner; Phoebe, Mrs.
Fitzwilliam. With DIE NACHTIGAL UND DER RABE. And THE INCHCAPE BELL. Hans
Hattock, Mr. Osbaldiston; Guy Ruthven, Mr. Rayner.--Tuesday, Inkle and
Yarico. With Die Nachtigal und Der Rabe. And Giovanni in
London.--Wednesday, 1st time at this Theatre, the extravaganza of Tom and
Jerry; or, Life in London. After which Master Burns will appear (for the
1st time) in six characters in A Day after the Fair. With the Inchcape
Bell.--Thursday, Tom and Jerry. With Die Nachtigal und Der Rabe. And The
Inchcape Bell.--Friday, Tom and Jerry. With Die Nachtigal und Der Rabe.
And The Inchcape Bell.--Saturday, Tom and Jerry With Die Nachtigal und Der
Rabe. And Love's Frailties.


[Illustration]

GRAND MASQUERADE, Argyll Rooms, first of the Season.--The brilliant eclat
which has lately attended this peculiar and popular species of
entertainment, urges as early re-commencement of such festive gaieties,
and in compliance with the general wish, TO-MORROW, Monday, November 30,
is appointed for the first GRAND FESTA DI BALLO. The Splendid Suite of
Rooms will be newly Embellished, Decorated, and Brilliantly Illuminated.

LITOLF and ADAMS' BAND, with the New Massaroni Quadrilles! arranged from
the popular Music of "The Brigand," now performing with great success at
the Theatre Royal, Drury-lane, will be stationed in the Grand Ball Room,
newly decorated as LE SALON DE MARS! The Emblematic Devices, Banners,
Trophies, &c., &c., by the most Eminent Artists.

Numerous Professional Dancers, from the Italian Opera House, and Theatres
Royal, are Expressly Engaged, to enliven the scene with a constant
succession of French, English, Italian, Irish, German and Scotch, Dances,
particularly THE GALLOPADE! which will be introduced immediately after
Supper.

The Court of Momus will be furnished with an Effective Band for Country
Dances! and occasionally enlivened with the Eccentric Efforts of numerous
Artists, expressly engaged for this SPLENDID CARNIVAL.

  "All kinds of dresses splendid and fantastical;
  Masks of all times and nations, Turks and Jews,
  Mimes, Harlequins and Clowns, with feats gymnastical;
  Greeks, Romans, Yankeedoodles and Hindoos."--Lord Byron.

AN ELEGANT SUPPER will be provided under the superintendence of Mr.
Phillips, of Steyne House, Brighton, and Oxford-street, London; and the
Room will be opened at One o'Clock--to enliven which PROFESSIONAL GLEE
SINGERS will be engaged, and at intervals a GRAND MILITARY BAND will
perform some of the most favourite Overtures from La Muette de Portici,
Siege de Corinth, Crociato in Egitto, &c., &c.


     _CHARLES WRIGHT'S
  Apparition appearing to an
       Hypochondriac._

[Illustration]

  Dans l'age heureux de la folie
  En fetes, dissipant nos jours.
  Nous suivons la route embellie,
  Par les Muses et les Amours.

  Au refrein des Tambourins,
  Au tic tac des Castignettes,
  Au jug jug du jus divin,
  Amis, chassons le chagrin

  Lorsque le Champagne.
  Fait eu s'echappant Pan! Pan!
  Ce doux bruit me gagne
  L'ame et le tympane.

Further particulars will be duly announced.--Masks, Dominoes, Character
and Fancy Dresses, to be had at the Masquerade Warehouse, Opera Colonade,
Haymarket.

Tickets of Admission, One Guinea each; for Supper Tickets, 7s. 6d. each;
and Private Boxes to view the Masquerade without mixing in the Motley
Group, Domino, and Character Tickets, apply to Mr. Charles Wright, next
the King's Theatre, Opera Colonade, Haymarket.


[Illustration]

[Illustration]

DUCROW'S BENEFIT.

ROYAL AMPHITHEATRE (ASTLEY'S).--MR. DUCROW has the honour of announcing
his BENEFIT REPRESENTATION TO-MORROW EVENING, Sept. 7. For the full detail
of the Novelties prepared, it will be necessary to refer to the hand
bills, but the three following are leading features totally new, and have
never been performed, viz.:--BONAPARTE'S PASSAGE OF THE MOUNT ST. BERNARD,
for the Stage; to commence at a Quarter-past Six; and Mr. Ducrow's two new
Scenes for the Circle, of St. George and the Dragon, with its splendid
Pageant, in honour of the Champion's brave and puissant deed. With "Make
way for Liberty; or, the Flight of the Saracens." In addition to these he
will represent the Animated Venetian Statue; or, Living Models of
Antiques; and will appear with Miss Woolford on the Double Tight Rope. The
exercises of the German Rider, Herr Berg, and a variety of other
Entertainments.--To conclude with the Grand Romantic Spectacle of THE
CATARACT OF THE GANGES.--Tickets to be had and places secured at the Box
Office, from Eleven till Four.


To give the present generation of playgoers an insight into the manners
and customs of the so-called "good old days:" and in the "hot youth" of
our great grandfathers--and mothers: when George the Fourth was King of
England: the dramatic version of TOM AND JERRY; OR, LIFE IN LONDON, is
occasionally revived at one or other of the Metropolitan Minor Theatres.
In 1868 Mr. Joseph A. Cave produced with distinguished success Moncrieff's
Adelphi adaptation, carefully revised at the:--

VICTORIA THEATRE.

It was announced thus:--

    The Performance will commence with the Rattling, Rollicking, Rumantic
    and Picturesque Drama of every-day Society, in its highest and lowest
    phases, written by that celebrated reviewer of Mankind, the late W. T.
    Moncrieff, entitled

    TOM AND JERRY;
    OR,
    Life in London Fifty Years Ago!

    Squire Hawthorn An Old English Gentleman,
      one of the olden time                                Mr. J. BRADSHAW
    Jerry Hawthorn His Nephew, rather verdant,
      until brought out                                     Mr. JAMES FAWN
    Farmer Cornflower--Mr. MILLER     Sir Harry Blood--a Buck--Mr. FASHION
    Bill Pointer--an awkward one--Mr. TERRIER Claw--a Lawyer--Mr. J. BAKER
    Tom, alias Corinthian Tom--a blood of the
      first water--                                  Mr. J. H. FITZPATRICK
    Regular a Tiger, who knows his business Miss HUNT Servant--Mr. ALFREDS

    SPORTSMAN'S CABINET,
    HAWTHORN HALL.

    Life in the Country--the party--preparations for the Departure of
    Jerry.

    "_Horses sound, dogs healthy, | Earths stopped, and foxes plenty._"

    A Country Gentleman's Idea of London Life.

    Tom sets them on the right road--the word pledged--he shall go--one
    gone already--who? why, the Village Lawyer--Where? under the Table.

    _A Country Lane! Life and Love in a Cottage!_

    Jane          a blossom of affection               Miss HARRIET FARREN
    Sue             in love with Jerry                Miss FLORENCE FARREN
    Kate     in love with Tom, and resolved
                   upon reclaiming him                    Miss LIZZIE GRAY

    Tom's Sanctum in Corinthian Lodge.

    Bob, otherwise Dr. Logic--a fly individual, fully acquainted with the
    classical language of the Holy Land, or in other words St. Giles's
    Greek Mr. W. H. HARMER

    Primefit--a West-end Tailor, in other words, a sufferer--Mr. J. BAKER

    Jerry gets an Introduction to Fast Life--Tom's Advice and Lesson--How
    the Trio started for Enjoyment.

    BURLINGTON ARCADE.

    The Lovers in Ambush--the Note--Tom receives a chaffing from Logic.

    Jemmy Green        from the City       Mr. F. MITCHELL
    Mr. Tattersall      well known          Mr. M. ROBERTS
    Cope and Gullum       Touters     Messrs. BAKER & WARE
    Prance               an Ostler              Mr. ARTHUR
           Jockeys, Yorkshire Coves, Black Legs, &c.

    A look in at Tattersall's--Tom and Jerry's judgment in purchasing a
    Prad--how Jemmy Green bought a horse and was taken home and in by it.

    HYDE PARK CORNER.

    Tom and Jerry express their opinion strongly--the assignation--Tom's
    appointment--Logic improves Jerry's opinion of Town Education.

    LIFE IN THE WEST

    (ALMACK'S).


    Act 2.

    LIFE IN THE EAST
    (ALL-MAX).

    Dusty Bob              Mr. R. H. KITCHEN
    Black Sal                    Mr. T. LAMB
    Mr. Mace Mine Host        Mr. M. ROBERTS
    Rosin a Fiddler               Mr. SCRAPE
    Mahogany Mary                 Miss BROWN
    Mr. & Mrs. Lillywhite   Mr. & Miss BLACK

    Bob, Tom and Logic in prime trim--the Treat--Put round the Lush--Dusty
    Bob and his Sarah.

    Pas de Deux         Messrs. R. H. KITCHEN & T. LAMB.


    Act 3.

    Life amongst the Fancy!

    Tom Crib      England's well-known Champion      Mr. G. CARTER
                  Swell Coves, Millers, &c., &c.

    Tom and Jerry in a new phase--true admirers of English pluck--a Toast,
    "Long Life to Gallant Tom Crib."

    A STREET.

    Tim O'Boozle               Mr. J. BAKER
    Mrs. Tartar        Miss ANNETTE VINCENT

    "Past Twelve o'clock and a Cloudy Night"--The Bucks revel--Mrs. Tartar
    in a fix--Help! Help! Help!

    TEMPLE BAR BY NIGHT!

    Teddy McLush          an Irish Watchman                Mr. J. BRADSHAW
    Mr. Tartar           Constable of the Night             Mr. M. ROBERTS

    A Row--a rally, and a Rescue--how to box a Watchman--Tom and Jerry get
    the best of a Charley--Tom and Jerry in trouble after a spree.

    INTERIOR OF ST. DUNSTAN'S WATCHHOUSE.

    BACK SLUMS IN THE HOLY LAND.

    Mr. Jenkins King of the Cadgers, with a flash Medley   Mr. J. BRADSHAW
    Billy Waters a well-known character                    Mr. F. MITCHELL
    Little Jemmy a cripple                                        Mr. WEST
    Creeping Jack a beggar                                   Mr. SMALLALMS
    Ragged Dick a fly one                                       Mr. SHREDS
    Dingey Bet                                                  Miss NABEM
    Soldier Suke                                                 Miss LIST
    Landlord of the Drum                                         Mr. CHALK

    Kate, Sue and Jane in new characters--Tom, Jerry and Logic up to their
    larks--the Thieves' Supper (without cant)--the raid upon the
    Sanctuary--a terrific mill--Tom and Jerry in their glory--TABLEAU.

    LEICESTER SQUARE.

    Real Old Grimaldi Comic Scene.

    Clown, Mr. R. H. KITCHEN      Pantaloon, Mr. TOM LAMB

    Here! Hollo! Now for Fun.

    VAUXHALL GARDENS

    [Pointing Hand] Magnificently Illuminated for a Fete. [Pointing Hand]

    The Recognition--all happy--the Lovers united--grand gallop--end of
    Tom and Jerry's Life in London.

    Brilliant Shower of Fire by Professor Wells.

    GRAND DENOUEMENT!

    In consequence of the great success of the revival of TOM and JERRY at
    the VICTORIA THEATRE--where it ran nine weeks: Mr. Conquest, of the
    GRECIAN, and Mrs. Lane, of the BRITANNIA THEATRE, directly afterwards
    produced a version of the same. A year or two after that Mr. William
    Holland, of the SURREY THEATRE, assisted by Mr. J. A. Cave, also
    staged it successfully.

    In May, 1886, Mr. J. A. Cave re-produced the same at The Elephant and
    Castle Theatre, which was set forth thus:--

    ELEPHANT & CASTLE THEATRE, S.E.

    GRAND THEATRE.

    LESSEE AND MANAGER                          MR. J. A. CAVE.
    _Trains, Trams and Buses From all Parts Stop at the Doors._

    TOM AND JERRY A BIG SUCCESS;

    GRAND REVIVAL OF LIFE IN LONDON 100 YEARS AGO.

    Cruikshank's far-famed Pictures Realised.--Manners and Customs of the
    Period.--Old Haunts of London. Life in the East. Life in the
    West.--Larks by Day.--Sprees by Night. Betting Cribs.--Sparring
    Cribs.--All the Noted Characters in Costumes of the time.--The most
    Novel, Picturesque, and Amusing Entertainment in London. See DAILY
    TELEGRAPH, GLOBE, MORNING POST, SPORTING LIFE, DISPATCH, LLOYDS, &c.

    POWERFUL CAST.        ALL THE ORIGINAL SENSATIONAL EFFECTS

    _Early Pass Doors open Nightly at 6.30._

    SATURDAY, MAY 29TH, 1886, AND NIGHTLY AT 7

    TOM AND JERRY;
    OR, LIFE IN LONDON.

    ALL THE ORIGINAL MUSIC, SONGS, DUETS, CHORUSES, AND DANCES.
    PRODUCED FROM THE ORIGINAL ADELPHI MANUSCRIPT, BY MR. J. A. CAVE.

    THE SCENES OF OLD LONDON, &C., BY MR. HEDLEY CHURCHWARD.

    To conclude with, for the first time here, an Original Domestic Drama,
    of intense interest, entitled THE

    WREN BOYS;
    OR, THE NIGHT BIRDS OF KERRY.

    Introducing the entire Company.

    STAGE MANAGER, Mr. George Skinner.
    MUSICAL DIRECTOR, Mr. Henri G. French.

    Williams & Strahan, Printers, 74, New Cut, Lambeth.

    [Illustration]

    JESTERS AND PAINTED SCENERY.

    Messrs. Hodson, Smart, West, Marks, Fairburn, Park, Skelt, and other
    publishers made a rich harvest out of the--"Price 1d. Plain and 2d.
    Coloured Characters of TOM AND JERRY; or, Life in London," together
    with miniature stages, and "BOOK OF THE WORDS" for the juvenile
    home-performing version of the drama.

    How delightful the book, and the pictures!

--oh! the pictures are noble still!--was to the youths of England, and how
eagerly all its promised feasts of pleasure were devoured by them,
Thackeray has told us in his Roundabout Paper, "DE JUVENTURE" in the
_Cornhill Magazine_ for October, 1860.




[Illustration: THE TRUE HISTORY OF TOM & JERRY: OR, _The Day and Night
Scenes_ OF LIFE IN LONDON, BY PIERCE EGAN.]




[Illustration]

  Eye Nature's walk, shoot folly as it flies,
  And catch the manners living as they rise.

A man is thirty years old before he has any settled thoughts of his
Fortune: and if it is not completed before fifty; he falls a building in
his old age, and dies by that time his House is in a condition to be
painted and glazed.




HISTORY OF THE LIFE IN LONDON; OR, THE DAY AND NIGHT SCENES OF TOM AND
JERRY.

  "Of Life in London, Tom, Jerry and Logic I sing."
  To the Strand then I toddled--the mob was great--
  My watch I found gone--pockets undone:
  I fretted at first, and rail'd against fate,
  For I paid well to see "LIFE IN LONDON."


In the early part of the year 1820, the British public were informed
through the then existing usual advertising mediums that there was about
to be published, in monthly parts, "PIERCE EGAN'S LIFE IN LONDON; or, the
Day and Night Scenes of Jerry Hawthorn, Esq.; and his elegant friend
Corinthian Tom, accompanied by Bob Logic, the Oxonian, in their Rambles
and Sprees through the Metropolis. Embellished with thirty-six Scenes from
Real Life, designed and etched by I. R. and G. Cruikshank, and enriched
with numerous original Designs on Wood by the same Artists."

Some time previous to its appearance a great taste had exhibited itself
amongst fashionable bloods for sporting works--books upon the chase, upon
racing, upon boxing, and 'sport' generally. The demand soon brought an
excellent supply, and "BOXIANA," in its own peculiar department, at once
became a great favourite. Artists, too, arose, who devoted all their
powers to hunting subjects, to racing favourites, and pugilistic
encounters. Amongst these the names of Alken, Dighton, Heath, Brooke,
Rowlandson, &c., became very popular. One day it occurred to the editor of
'Boxiana' that if Londoners were so anxious for books about country and
out-of-door sports, why should not Provincials and even Cockneys
themselves be equally anxious to know something of "Life in London?" The
editor of 'Boxiana' was Mr. Pierce Egan, who as the literary
representative of sport and high life, had already been introduced to
George IV., the character of the proposed work was mentioned to the King
and his Gracious Majesty seems to have heartily approved of it, for he at
once gave permission for it to be dedicated to himself. The services of
Messrs. George and Robert Cruikshank were secured as illustrators.

And on the 15th July, the first number, price one shilling, was published
by Messrs. Sherwood, Neely, and Jones, of Paternoster Row. This sample, or
first instalment, of the entire work was quite enough for society to
judge by. It took both town and country by storm. It was found to be the
exact thing in literature that the readers of those days wanted. Edition
after edition was called for--and supplied, as fast as the illustrations
could be got away from the small army of women and children who were
colouring them. With the appearance of numbers two and three, the demand
increased, and a revolution in our literature, in our drama, and even in
our nomenclature began to develope itself. All the announcements from
Paternoster Row were of books, great and small, depicting life in London;
dramatists at once turned their attention to the same subject, and
tailors, bootmakers, and hatters, recommended nothing but Corinthian
shapes, and Tom and Jerry patterns.[29]

Immediately Messrs. Sherwood and Co. issued the first shilling number of
Mr. Pierce Egan's work, out came Jones and Co., of Finsbury Square, with
the following in sixpenny numbers:--

REAL LIFE IN LONDON;

or, The Rambles and Adventures of BOB TALLYHO, Esq., and his Cousin, the
Hon. TOM DASHALL, through the Metropolis. Exhibiting a Living Picture of
Fashionable Characters, Manners, Amusements in High and Low Life, by an
Amateur. Embellished and Illustrated with a Series of Coloured Prints,
Designed and Engraved by Messrs. Heath, Alken, Dighton, Rowlandson, &c.

As may be readily conceived, the stage soon claimed "Tom and Jerry." The
first drama founded upon the work was from the pen of Mr. Barrymore, and
thus announced in the bill:--"ROYAL AMPHITHEATRE. Extraordinary Novelty
and Eccentric Production. Monday, September 17, 1821, at half-past six
o'clock precisely, will be presented, never acted, an entirely New,
Whimsical, Local, Melo-Dramatic, Pantomimical Drama, with new scenery,
dresses, and mechanical changes, founded on Pierce Egan's popular work,
which has lately engrossed the attention of all London, called 'LIFE IN
LONDON;' or, Day and Night Scenes of Tom and Jerry, in their Rambles and
Sprees through the Metropolis." The piece prepared for stage
representation by Mr. W. Barrymore.[30]

"Corinthian Tom, Mr. Gomersal; Jerry Hawthorn, Mr. Jones; and Bob Logic,
Mr. Herring."

The second dramatic version was written for the Olympic Theatre, by
Charles Dibden, and thus set forth in the bill:--"OLYMPIC THEATRE. On
Monday, November 12, 1821, and following evenings, will be presented a New
Extravaganza of Fun, founded on Pierce Egan's highly popular work, and
interspersed with a variety of Airs and Graces, called "LIFE IN LONDON."

"TOM (a Capital of the Corinthian Order) Mr. Baker.

"JERRY HAWTHORN (out of Order, and more of the Composite than Corinthian,
never intended for the Church, though fond of a Steeple-chase). Mr.
Oxberry.

"LOGIC (a Chopping Boy, 'full of wise saws and modern instances')., by Mr.
Vale."




[Illustration: LIFE IN LONDON]


A DESCRIPTION OF THE METROPOLIS _Written and Set to Music by_ CORINTHIAN
TOM.

  LONDON TOWN'S a dashing place--For ev'ry thing that's going,
  There's _fun_ and _gig_ in every face--so natty and so _knowing_.
  Where NOVELTY is all the rage--From high to low degree,
  Such pretty _lounges_ to engage--Only come and see!:--
        What charming sights--On gala nights,
        Masquerades--Grand parades,
        Famed gas lights--Knowing fights,
        RANDALL and CRIBB--Know how to _fib_.
        Tothill-fields--Pleasure yields.
        The Norwich bull--With antics full.
        Plenty of news--All to amuse;
        The Monkey "JACCO"--All the crack O!
        Ambroghetti's squall--Match girl's bawl!
        Put on the _gloves_--Playful as doves
        Then show your _forte_--At the FIVES' COURT;
        Conjurors rare--At _Bartlemy_ fair;
        POLITO'S beasts--See city feasts,
        Lord Mayor's day--Then the play,
        Adelphi Theatre--Pretty feature!
        Rotton Row--All the Go!
        In the Bench--Keep your wench.
        When next you roam--Mathew's "AT HOME!"
        Such prime joking--Lots of smoking;
        Here all dash on--In the fashion.

  CHORUS--Dancing, singing, full of glee,
          O London, London town for me!

          From ev'ry part the natives run,
            To view this spot of land;
          All are delighted with the fun,
            _Astonish'd_ 'tis so grand!
          To Vauxhall haste to see the blaze.
            Such variegated lights;
          The ladies' charms are all the gaze--
            No _artificial_ sights!:--
        Lovely Faces--Full of graces,
        Heavenly charms--Create alarms!
        Such glances--And dances.
        To the sky--See SAQUI fly--
        In the blaze--All to amaze.
        Cyprians fine--_Kids_ full of wine,
        Orchestre grand--Pandean band;
        Charming singing--Pleasure bringing;
        Great attraction--And satisfaction:
        Plenty of _hoaxing_--Strong coaxing;
        Beautiful shapes--Beaux and apes,
        Prone to quiz--Every phiz!
        Dashing glasses--Queering lasses;
        Flashy cits--Numerous wits;
        Loud talking--Thousands walking:
        Rare treating--Numbers eating;
        Punch and wine--Every thing prime,
        Grand CASCADE--Once displayed;
        Duke and groom--In one room;
        Here all dash on--In the fashion!

  CHORUS--Dancing, singing, full of glee,
          O London, London town for me!

          And various _fancies_ there display'd,
            To please and cheer the mind;
          They captivate both man and maid,
            All polite and kind,
          See fashion driving through each street,
            With splendour and renown:
          Pedestrians, too, with _shining_ feet;
            O, what a charming town!:--
        Four-in-hand--Down the Strand!
        Funny gigs--With knowing wigs;
        BAXTER'S hats--That queer the flats;
        Flashy whips--With silver tips,
        Leathern breech--Pretty stitch!
        High-bred cattle--Tittle tattle,
        TATTERSALL sell--Peep into "HELL!"
        Full of play--And make a stay;
        Hear KEAN speak, GRIMALDI squeak!
        Courts of law--Full of jaw;
        BROUGHAM plead--MACAULEY read;
        And Old Borum--At the Forum;
        To Opera prance--See Vestris dance,
        At Free and Easy--Full and greasy;
        Prime song and catch--The Trotting-match
        LONDON CRIES--O rare hot pies!
        Sadler's Wells--In summer tells;
        Quick approach--In Hackney-coach;
        Take your _Daffy_--All be happy:
        And then dash on--In the fashion.

  CHORUS--Dancing, singing, full of glee,
          O London, London town for me!

Mr. W. T. Moncrieff--one of the most successful and prolific writers of
the day--appeared as the third on the list of dramatists, and it was
announced at the Adelphi Theatre in the following style:--"On Monday, Nov.
26th, 1821, will be presented for the first time, on a scale of
unprecedented extent (having been many weeks in preparation, under the
superintendence of several of the most celebrated Artists, both in the
_Ups and Downs_ of Life, who have all kindly come forward to assist the
Proprietors in their endeavours to render this Piece a complete
out-and-outer), an entirely new Classic, Comic, Operatic, Didactic,
Aristophanic, Localic, Analytic, Panoramic, Camera-Obscura-ic,
Extravaganza Burletta of Fun, Frolic, Fashion, and Flash, in three acts,
called 'TOM and JERRY; or, LIFE IN LONDON.' Replete with Prime Chaunts,
Rum Glees, and Kiddy Catches, founded on Pierce Egan's well-known and
highly popular work of the same name, by a celebrated extravagant erratic
Author. The Music selected and modified by him, from the most eminent
composers, ancient and modern, and every Air furnished with an attendant
train of Graces. The costume and scenery superintended by Mr. I. R.
Cruikshank, from the Drawings by himself and his brother, Mr. George
Cruikshank, the celebrated Artists of the original work."




TOM AND JERRY;

OR, LIFE IN LONDON.

AN OPERATIC EXTRAVAGANZA

BY W. T. MONCRIEFF.


[Illustration:

  HARK! the watchman springs his rattle,
  Now the midnight lark's begun.]

Dramatis Personae.

_As performed at the Adelphi Theatre._

  CORINTHIAN TOM                           Mr. Wrench.
  JERRY HAWTHORN                           Mr. W. Burrough & Mr. J. Reeve.
  LOGIC                                    Mr. Wilkinson.
  JEMMY GREEN                              Mr. Keeley & Mr. Brown.
  HON. DICK TRIFLE                         Mr. Bellamy.
  SQUIRE HAWTHORN                          Mr. Buckingham.
  PRIMEFIT                                 Mr. Waylett.
  REGULAR                                  Mr. Smith.
  TATTERSAL                                Mr. Philips.
  MACE                                     Mr. Maxwell.
  BILLY WATERS                             Mr. Paulo.
  LITTLE JEMMY                             Mr. Cooper.
  DUSTY BOB                                Mr. Walbourn.
  KATE (otherwise the HON. MISS TRIFLE),   Mrs. Baker.
  SUE (otherwise the HON. MISS TRIFLE),    Mrs. Waylett.
  JANE (otherwise the HON. MISS TRIFLE),   Miss Hammersley.
  MRS. TARTAR                              Mrs. Daly.
  AFRICAN SAL                              Mr. Sanders.

Many of the names in the above cast will be familiar to old playgoers, as
most of the persons engaged in the performance became great favourites
with the public, and remained on the British stage for the remaining part
of their respective lives. Now:--

  "All, all are gone, the old familiar faces."


TOM AND JERRY.

[Illustration]

  From over the hills and far away,
  Where rustic sports employ each day
  Young Jerry came with cousin Tom,
  To see the rigs of London Town.
        Of all that e'er he did or saw,
        A faithful picture here we draw.

SCENE--_Chaffing Crib in Corinthian House.--Table, Boxing Gloves, Chairs,
Foils, &c., &c._

_Enter_ TOM _and_ JERRY, _as just arrived_.

_Tom._ Ya! hip! come along, Jerry; here we are safe arrived, my boy.
Welcome, my dear Jerry, to Corinthian Hall--to my snug chaffing
crib--where, I hope, we shall have many a rare bit of gig together.

_Jerry._ Chaffing crib! I'm at fault, coz, can't follow.

_Tom._ My prattling parlour--my head quarters, coz--where I unbend with my
pals. You are now in London the bang-up spot of the world for fun, frolic,
and out-and-out-ing. Here it shall be my care, Jerry, to introduce you to
all sorts of life--from the flowers of society, the roses, pinks, and
tulips, of one court, to the mechanical tag-rag and
bobtail--vegetables--bunches of turnips--and strings of ing-ens, of
another: for without a proper introduction, London, gay, bustling,
various, as it is, would be no more than an immense wilderness.

_Jerry._ I suppose not. I'll do as much for you another time.

_Tom._ We must make the best use of our time; I have seen a great deal of
life myself; still I have a great deal yet to see. But let me give you a
caution or two before we set out; never be too confident--rather at all
times plead ignorance than show it; never disgrace the character of a
friend, in that family where you are introduced as a friend; let the
honour of the husband and the peace of the father be preserved inviolable;
and never have the once friendly door be shut against you, either as a
seducer--a hypocrite--or a scoundrel. But I say, my dear fellow, what do
you call all this?--this toggery of yours will never fit--you must have a
new rig-out.

_Jerry._ Eh! oh! I understand. You think the cut of my clothes rather too
rustic--eh?

_Tom._ Exactly; dress is the order of the day. A man must have the _look_
of a gentleman, if he has nothing else. We must assume a style if we have
it not. This, what do you call it?--this cover-me-decently, was all very
well at Hawthorn Hall, I dare say; but here, among the pinks in
Rotten-row, the ladybirds in the Saloon, the angelics at Almack's,
the-top-of-the-tree heroes, the legs and levanters at Tattersall's, nay,
even among the millers at the Fives, it would be taken for nothing less
than the index of a complete flat.

_Jerry._ I suppose not--what's to be done?

_Tom._ I'll tell you; before we start on our sprees and rambles, I'll send
for that kiddy-artist, Dicky Primefit, the dandy habit maker, of
Regent-street. He shall rig you out in grand twig, in no time. Here,
Regular! (_Calls_).

_Reg._ Here I am sir.

_Tom._ Send for Dicky Primefit, directly.

_Reg._ What! the sufferer, Sir?

_Tom._ Yes, that's the fellow; tell him to bring his card of address with
him.

_Jerry._ Sufferer! I'm at fault again, Tom; can't follow.

_Tom._ The tailor, Jerry: we do make them suffer sometimes.

_Reg._ Yes, sir, the tailor bless me, how very uneducated; I thought every
gentleman knew his tailor was the sufferer; I'm sure I know mine is, and
to some tune too, I'll chivey the rascal here directly, sir.

  [_Exit._

_Tom._ You shall go into training for a swell at once.

_Jerry._ A swell! I'm at fault again.

_Tom._ A swell, my dear Jerry----

_Log._ (_Speaks without_). Just arrived, eh, very well. I'll go up!

_Tom._ But stay; here comes my friend Bob Logic; he shall tell you what a
swell is--his head contains all the learning--I beg his pardon--all the
larks extant; he is a complete walking map of the metropolis--a perfect
pocket dictionary of all the flash cant, and slang patter, either of St.
James's or St. Giles's; only twig him. Welcome, my dear Bob; ten thousand
welcomes.


[Illustration]

  +-----------------------------+
  |    MR. ROBERT LOGIC.        |
  |         _Albany._           |
  |_A_,                 _No. 9._|
  +-----------------------------+

_Enter_ LOGIC.

_Log._ Thankye, my dear Tom--thankye. Seeing your natty gig and fast
trotter at the door, as I passed, I couldn't avoid popping in to welcome
you back to town. You've been sadly miss'd among the big ones since
you've been away. Lots of chaffing about you at Daffy's.

_Tom._ I suppose so. You couldn't have popped in more opportunely! Allow
me to introduce to you my companion and cousin, Jeremiah Hawthorn,
Esquire, from Somersetshire; Jerry Hawthorn, Doctor Logic, commonly called
Bob Logic--Doctor Logic, Jerry Hawthorn. Bob is the most finished man of
all the pave, Jerry, whether for drinking, roving, getting in a row or
getting out of one.

_Log._ Oh, you flatter me! I yield the palm to you in those particulars.
To be sure I always was a knowing one.

_Tom._ You were, Bob.

_Log._ (_To Jerry_). Your most obedient, sir; happy to see you. Where did
you pick him up? (_To Tom_).

_Tom._ A slip from the chawbacons; rescued him from yokels. The business
is this; bred up in Somersetshire. Jerry has never before crossed
Claverton Downs. He is now come to see life, and rub off a little of the
rust. In effecting this desirable consummation you can materially assist;
under so skilful a professor of the flash as you, Bob--

_Jerry._ Flash! I'm at fault again, Tom.

_Tom._ Explain, Bob.

_Log._ Flash, my young friend, or slang as others call it, is the
classical language of the Holy Land; in other words, St. Giles's Greek.

_Jerry._ St. Giles's Greek; that is a language, doctor, with which I am
totally unacquainted, although I was brought up at a Grammar School.

_Log._ You are not particular in that respect; many great scholars, and
better linguists than you, are quite as ignorant of it, it being studied
more in the Hammer Schools than the Grammar Schools. Flash, my young
friend, or slang, as others call it, is a species of cant in which the
knowing ones conceal their roguery from the flats; and it is one of the
advantages of seeing Life in London, that you may learn to talk to a rogue
in his own language, and fight him with his own weapons.

_Tom._ I was telling him before you came in, Bob, that he must go in
training for a swell, and he didn't understand what I meant.

_Jerry._ Oh, yes, I did, Tom.

_Tom._ No, no, you didn't; come, confess your ignorance.

_Log._ Not know what a swell meant?

_Tom._ No: he wasn't up.

_Jerry._ Not up?

_Log._ That is, you were not down.

_Jerry._ Not down!

_Tom._ No; you're green!

_Jerry._ Green!

_Log._ Ah! not fly!

_Tom._ Yes, not awake!

_Jerry._ "Green! fly! awake!" D--me, but I'm at fault. I don't understand
one word you are saying.

_Log._ We know you don't, and that's what we're telling you. Poor young
man--very uninformed.

_Tom._ Quite ignorant, isn't he, Bob?

_Log._ Melancholy to think of--quite lamentable.

_Tom._ You must go to school, again, Jerry.

_Jerry._ What! the Hammer School?

_Log._ Yes, take your degrees under the classical Captain Grose. A swell,
my dear boy, or rather an empty swell, is an animal very plentiful in the
fashionable world; which, like the frog in the fable, wishing to appear
greater than it is, and vie with the substantial John Bulls of the
Exchange, keeps puffing and puffing itself out, till it bursts in the
attempt, and proves its appearance, like itself, a bubble.

_Enter_ REGULAR.

_Reg._ The sufferer's carriage is at the door, sir.

_Tom._ What, Dicky Primefit? trundle him in.

_Reg._ This way, Mr. Primefit.

_Prime._ (_Without_). Have the goodness, young man, to desire my footman
to tell my coachman to turn the horses heads towards the Military Club
House:--

_Enter_ PRIMEFIT.

And take that pair of buckskins from under the seat, that I'm going to
take home to the Duke of Dolittle.

_Reg._ Very well Mr. Thing-emy. Must stick it into him for a new pair of
_kickses_, by-and-by.

  [_Exit._

_Prime._ Gentlemen, your most obedient. Mr. Corinthian, yours. What are
your commands? was it your little bill you wanted? because if it is, I've
got it all ready--'tis but a small account! (_Unrolls long bill_).

_Tom._ Eh! (_Looking at it_). Oh, d--n your bill!

_Log._ (_After looking at it_). Ah, d--n your bill! (_Throws himself on
sofa_).

_Jerry._ (_Walking round it_). Yes, d--n your bill!--I'm up, down, and
see--I'm fly!

_Prime._ Very well, gentlemen, with all my heart--dem the bill; I'll take
care of the receipt though; (_aside._) as you don't want to discharge your
account, Mr. Corinthian, perhaps you wish to add to it; if so, I'll take
your orders with pleasure.


JERRY IN TRAINING FOR A SWELL.

[Illustration]

  Now Jerry must needs be a swell,
  His coat must have a swallow-tail,
  And Mr. Snip, so handy, O,
  Soon rigg'd him out a Dandy, O.
  Then hey for Life and London Town,
  To swagger Bond Street up and down,
  And wink at every pretty maid
  They meet in Burlington Arcade.

_Tom._ You've nicked it; the fact is this, Dicky--you must turn
missionary. Here is a young native from the country, just caught, whom you
must civilise.

_Prime._ Oh! I understand. From the cut of the gentleman's clothes, I
presume he's lately come from the Esquimaux Islands.

_Tom._ Ha! ha! very good Primefit; I say, Jerry--you see he's down upon
you.

_Jerry._ Yes, he's up, he's awake, he's fly--Ha! ha!

_Tom._ Now Dicky, out with your rainbow.

_Prime._ Here are the patterns, gentlemen, the very last fashions, every
one; you can choose for yourself; but this is the colour most in
vogue--generally greens.

_Jerry._ Yes, I'm told you London tailors are particularly fond of
greens--cabbage to wit. But I am not very particular; only let me have
something of this cut. (_Turning round and showing himself_).

_Tom._ Oh, no, hang that cut; the colour may fit; but the cut never will.

_Prime._ By the by, if the gentleman's in a hurry, I've a suit of clothes
in my carriage, that I was about to take home to the Marquis of Squander,
which I think will fit him exactly.

_Tom._ Eh, the Marquis of Squander--just Jerry's diameter; why that will
be the very thing. Let it be laid on the table directly.

_Prime._ Young man, bring that there bundle, into this here room.
(_Regular brings on bundle_). You will find these perfectly _comme il
faut_, I can assure you.

_Tom._ Come, Jerry, cast your skin--peel--slip into the swell case at
once, my boy--are you up?

_Jerry._ Peel! oh, I know--I'm down, Tom, I'm fly.

_Tom._ Come, Dicky, put him all right--screw him into them.

_Prime._ You may rely upon me, Mr. Corinthian.

(_Jerry is fitted with Coat and Waistcoat; meantime, Tom and Regular box
with gloves.--When Jerry is dressed he struts along the front of the
stage_).

_Jerry._ A tight fit, not much hunting room,--no matter,--there, Tom I'm
all fly.

_Tom._ I knew Dicky would finish him, There's not a better snyder in
England, taking Nugee, Dollman, the Baron, and Rowlands into the bargain
against him. That will do--now then Dicky, mizzle!--be scarce!--broom.

_Prime._ Wouldn't intrude a moment, gentlemen, good morning--order my
carriage, there, John--I'll just take an ice, and then for the Duke.

  [_Exit._

_Jerry._ The Duke and an ice--cursed cool--if these are the London
tailors, what must be their customers?

_Log._ It's the blunt that does it--blunt makes the man, Jerry.

_Jerry._ Blunt! I'm at fault again.

_Tom._ Explain, Bob----

_Log._ Blunt, my dear boy, is--in short what is it not? It's every thing
now o'days--to be able to flash the screens--sport the rhino--show the
needful--post the pony--nap the rent--stump the pewter--tip the brads--and
down with the dust, is to be at once good, great, handsome, accomplished,
and everything that's desirable--money, money, is your universal
God,--only get into Tip Street, Jerry.

_Tom._ Well, come let's make a start of it--where shall we go? No matter.
I commit him to your care, Bob--use him well, remember he is not out of
pupil's straits, and musn't be blown up at point nonplus yet.

_Jerry._ Why on London points I confess I am miserably ignorant. But for
anything in the country, now--such as leaping a five-barred gate, jumping
a ditch, trotting my pony against anything alive, wrestling, cudgelling,
or kissing in the ring, depend on it, Tom, you'll find me--fly.

_Log._ He's a fine-spirited youth, and will soon make a tie of it with
us--we'll start first to the show shop of the metropolis, Hyde
Park!--promenade it down the grand strut, take a ride with the pinks in
Rotten Row, where dukes and dealers in queer--heavy plodders and
operators--noblemen, and yokels--barber's clerks, costard-mongers--swell
coves, and rainbows, all jostle one another; then we'll have a stroll
through Burlington Arcade, peep in at Tattersal's, and finish as fancy
leads us.

_Tom._ Bravo! Hyde Park! Burlington Arcade! nothing can be better.

_Log._ No; Arcades are all the go now.

  SONG.

  AIR.--"_Carnival of Venice._"

  _Bazaars have long since had their day,
    Are common grown and low;
  And now, at powerful Fashion's sway,
    Arcades are all the go.
  Then let's to Piccadilly haste,
    And wander through the shade;
  And half an hour of pleasure taste,
    In Burlington Arcade._

_Tom._ Now, my dear Jerry, to introduce you to another scene of Life in
London;--you have taken a ride among the pinks in Rotten Row, have dipped
into the Westminster pit, sported your blunt with the flue-fakers and gay
tyke boys on the phenomenon monkey[31]--seen that gamest of all buffers,
Rumpty-tum, with the rats; and now you can make assignation with some of
our dashing straw-chippers and nob-thatchers in Burlington Arcade:--This
is the very walk of Cupid and here----

[_Jane slips the letter into his hand and runs off._

_Tom._ I say, you messenger of Cupid--hey, why zounds, she's bolted!

_Log._ You'll give chase, Tom?

_Tom._ To be sure I will, Bob.

_Jerry._ I see her, clearing the corner of yonder street--I'm not at fault
now.

_Tom._ Tip us the view hallo! then, Jerry.

_Jerry._ Yoicks! yoicks!

  _Exeunt Omnes._


[Illustration]

SCENE.--_Tattersall's.--Grooms, Jockeys, I's Yorkshire-Coves, Blacklegs._

  SOLO AND CHORUS.

  AIR.--"_Gee ho, Dobbin._"

  _Grooms, Jockies, and Chaunters, to Tattersal's bring,
  Your lame and blind spavin'd prads in a string.
  Knowing ones, that have no legs to go on, may scoff,
  But we I's Yorkshire coves here can make them go off.
        Gee ho, Dobbin! Gee ho, Dobbin!
        Gee ho, Dobbin! Gee up, and gee ho!_

_Cope._ Well, Master Gull'em, do you think we shall get the flat-catcher
off to-day?

_Gul._ As sure as your name is Simon Cope, only wait till the flats
come--have you given his pedigree to Tattersall?

_Cope._ Yes; and he's promised to put him up first.

_Gul._ Mind, you're the seller,--I'm the bidder--hallo! here's three
swells coming this way--that one in the middle, looks like a flat, we must
try it on upon him.

_Cope._ Hush! don't let's appear to know one another.

_Enter_ TOM, JERRY, _and_ LOGIC.

_Tom._ Confound the little gipsy, she has fairly given us the slip, by
Jupiter--however, the assignation must be attended to.--Almack's! smacks
well. You are now at Tattersall's, Jerry, a very worthy fellow, who made
his fortune by a horse called Highflyer. In remembrance of whom the
following epitaph was written:--

  HERE LIETH
  The perfect and beautiful symmetry
  Of the much-lamented
  HIGHFLYER;
  By whom, and his wonderful offspring,
  The celebrated TATTERSALL acquired a noble fortune,
  But he was not ashamed to acknowledge it.
  In gratitude to this famous
  STALLION
  He called an elegant mansion he built
  HIGHFLYER HALL.

_Jerry._ Hum! and if one may judge from the splendour and extent of his
premises, he seems to be no small highflyer himself.

_Tom._ You are right, Jerry--I shall here buy a bit of cavalry--that is a
prad, on your judgment.

_Jerry._ You'll not find me at fault here, depend on't.

_Tom._ What you're up, eh?

_Jerry._ Yes, quite fly, depend on't.

_Gul._ I beg pardon, gemmen--want to buy a prad? here's one a gentleman
wants to sell--you can't have a better, Sir; here, you Bob, bring him out.
There's action for you--there's one to tip 'em the go-bye at a
mill,--there's earth-stoppers--quiet to drive, quiet in harness, trots
fifteen miles in less than an hour. Warranted sound--he would be cheap at
a hundred, and I shouldn't wonder if he was to go for thirty.

_Jerry._ Ah, thirty-pence--two-and-six-pence,--I wouldn't have him at a
gift.

_Log._ He may be a good one to go--but he's a rum one to look at--one of
my Lord Cagmag's sort, he always drives two puffers, a stumbler, and a
blinker.

_Gul._ (_To Cope_). These chaps are awake; it wont suit.

_Cope._ Never mind, we shall meet a flat presently.

[Illustration]

_Tat._ (_Who has now mounted the rostrum_). Now, gentlemen, we'll proceed
to business. The first article I have to offer to your notice is that
prime Yorkshire stallion Bite--he was got by Blackleg out of
Greenhorn--what shall I say, gentlemen, for this beautiful and most
serviceable animal?--he is rising five, next grass--warranted
sound--perfect in all his paces.

_Tom._ Nine pence.

_Tat._ Oh, Sir! (_To Jerry_). What do you say, Sir?

_Jerry._ Why, if you'll put his other eye in, I'll give you three
halfpence a pound for him.

_Log._ Let's be off, Tom--Come, Jerry.

  [_Exit Tom, Jerry, and Logic._

_Tat._ Come, gentlemen, will nobody be a bidder?

[Illustration]

_Enter_ JEMMY GREEN.

_Green._ Yes, I'll bid--I'll bid. Mr. Green from the City. I wants an
'orse, and I like the looks of that 'ere hanimal amazingly, and I'm no bad
judge, I tell you that.

_Gul._ Here's a customer, by jingo. It's booked. Mr. Green's the
purchaser. (_Aside_). That's a famous horse, that there, Sir--I mean to
have him at any price.

_Green._ I don't know that, Mister.

_Gul._ I must clench it at once--fifteen pounds for that 'ere horse.

_Green._ Twenty pounds, Mr. Hauctioneer.

_Cope._ Beg pardon, Sir, but you can't have a better horse, and he's cheap
at fifty.

_Green._ I am wery much obliged to you for your adwice--but I happens to
know what an 'orse is--I'm not a _hass_! I'll have him, but I shan't go
further nor forty.

_Gul._ Five and twenty pounds.

_Green._ Thirty.

_Tat._ Thirty pounds; any advance upon thirty pounds?

_Green._ Yes, five more.

_Tat._ Thankye, Sir; thirty-five.

_Gul._ Thirty-six, my regular.

_Green._ Thirty-seven, my regular.

_Gul._ Thirty-nine.

_Green._ Thirty-nine, for me too.

_Tat._ It's against you, Mr. Green.

_Green._ Against me is it? vy I bid as much as him.--Vell, forty!

_Tat._ For forty pounds, have you all done at forty? last time at
forty--forty--going for forty! going--going--gone! Mr. Green, he's yours.

_Green._ I've bought him!

_Tat._ You have indeed, Sir!

_Green._ Here's your money, Sir--Mr. Green, from Tooley Street--you'll
find two twenties! and I'm wery much obliged to you for your serwility.

_Cope._ You don't want a civil honest lad to lead him home for your
honour, do you, Sir?

_Green._ No thank'ye, I'm not going to trust an hanimal like that with
nobody but myself. Can nobody have the goodness to lend me a bit of rope,
to get him along vith?

_Cope._ No we've got you in a line, and that's quite enough. (_Aside_) You
bought him too cheap, to have rope with him, Sir; but here's a hay-band,
that will do perhaps.

_Green._ An ay-band--oh, ah; an ay-band will do very well,--do you think I
can get him as far as Tooley Street, vith this?

_Cope._ Oh, yes, Sir, he's as quiet as a lamb, and a famous hunter.

_Green._ An unter! I've taken 'em all in; I've bought an unter!

_Cope._ Ah, and nothing but a good one neither--such a one to clear a
gate.

_Green._ Vot? clear a gate! vy, then, I sha'n't have to pay no
turnpikes!--How pleased they'll be in Tooley Street, when I tell's my pa
I've bought an unter!

_Gul._ We'll get something more out of him yet. (_Aside to Cope_). So you
think you have bought that 'ere horse, do you Mister?--Now, I say, I've
bought him. (_To Green_)

_Green._ You bought him? that's a good un! but I'm not to be taken in in
this here manner!--if you bought him, I paid for him, that's all I know.

_Gul._ I say I bought him, and the horse is mine.

_Green._ I say as how you are a wery unpurlite gentleman.

[Illustration]

_Cope._ Oh gentlemen, I'm sorry to see you quarrel.--(_To Gull'em_)--Let
me speak to the gentleman, and I'll convince him.--(_To Green_)--Sir, if
you'll give me one pound note, I'll swear you bought him, and that the
horse is yours.

_Green._ Sir, I'm wery much obliged to you, you're werry purlite; and as I
don't mind a von pound note, and vishes to 'ave that 'ere hanimal all to
myself, vy, there's the money.

_Cope._ I've done him. (_To Gull'em_). Oh, the horse belongs to this
gentleman,--I saw him pay for it.

_Green._ To be sure he did.

_Gul._ Oh, if you paid for him you certainly bought him.

_Green._ Certainly; I'm glad it's all settled: I think as how I may as
vell ride him home. Vill you please to assist me to mount?--(_Gull'm puts
him with his face to the horse's tail_).

_Green._ Holloa! vy the horse's head's behind. Turn him round, if you
please, young man. Come no tricks.--(_They turn the horse round_).--Vy the
horse's head is behind yet.--(_Green jumps off his back_).--I see you are
going it, but I'm not to be had--I'm a knowing von! I shall lead him home
myself.--Good morning, gentleman, I thank you for all your serwilities.

[Illustration]


[Illustration: Jarvey! Here am I, ye'r honour.]

SCENE.--_Hyde Park Corner._

_Enter_ TOM, JERRY, _and_ LOGIC.

_Tom._ Ha! ha! ha! was there ever such a flat as that Mr. Green?--we can
buy no prad to-day, Jerry; we must go when some gentlemen's stud is
selling; and while the dealers are running down the cattle, we can get a
prime good one for a song. But now for Almack's--the highest Life in
London! and see what game Cupid has sprung up for us in that quarter.

_Jerry._ I long to be there,--let's hasten to dress at once.

_Log._ Aye; call a rattler.

_Jerry._ A rattler! I'm at fault again.

_Log._ A rattler is a rumbler, otherwise a jarvey! better known perhaps by
the name of a hack; handy enough in wet weather, or a hurry.

_Jerry._ A hack! If it is the thing we rattled over the stones in to-day,
it might more properly be called a bone-setter.

_Tom._ Or bone-breaker--But if you dislike going in a hack, we'll get you
a mab.

_Jerry._ A mab! I'm at fault again--never shall get properly broken in.

_Tom._ A mab is a jingling jarvey!--a cabriolet Jerry--but we must mind
our flash doesn't peep out at Almack's. 'Tis classic ground there; the
rallying spot of all the rank, wealth, and beauty in the metropolis; the
very atmosphere of it is--


THE BANG-UP OF THE BIG WIGS.

[Illustration]

_Jerry._ Rather different to that of Rum-ti-tum and the rats. I should
imagine.

_Tom._ A shade or two!--we must be on our P's and Q's there--forget the
Phenomenon and the Fancy. If you find me tripping, Jerry, whisper Lethe to
bury it in oblivion; and, if necessary, I'll do the same kind office for
you.

_Jerry._ Ten thousand thanks!

_Log._ Come along, then. Now, Jerry, chivey!

_Jerry._ Chivey?

_Log._ Mizzle?

_Jerry._ Mizzle?

_Log._ Tip you rags a gallop!

_Jerry._ Tip my rags a gallop?

_Log._ Walk your trotters!

_Jerry._ Walk my trotters?

_Log._ Bolt!

_Jerry._ Bolt? oh, aye! I'm fly now. You mean go.--_Exeunt Omnes_


ALMACK'S IN THE WEST.

[Illustration]

  If once to ALMACK'S you belong,
  Like MONARCH'S you can _do no wrong_;
  But banished thence on Wednesday night,
  By Jove, you can do nothing right.

  Ladies, your most humble servants,
    Tom and Jerry stands before you.
  Our blood is thrilling, you're so killing;
    At once we love you and adore you.

  Let us softly sit beside you;
    Trust us, you will quickly own,
  That love's alarms hath sweeter charms
    Than joys e'er yet to mortal known.


SCENE.--_Almack's brilliantly illuminated--Duchess of Diamonds, Countess
Conversatione, Princess Pulmante, Lady Eastend, Baron Rufus, Sir Tilbury
Unit, and Company discovered._

_Enter_ KATE, SUE, JANE, _and_ TRIFLE.

_Sue._ I do not see them yet.

_Kate._ I can depend upon Corinthian; and I think you may upon your lover.
In the meantime, let us have a minuet to dissipate our _ennui_.

_Enter_ GREEN, _in ball dress_.

_Green._ Aye, aye, a minivit to dissipate our _ong vee_, by all means.

_Sue._ As I live, Trifle, here is that Mr. Green, to whom you introduced
us.

_Trifle._ Aye, aye, from the City. We find these City folks--these
Greens--excessively useful in money matters, _pan hanour_. How are you my
dear fa-el-low.

_Sue._ Your servant, Mr. Green.

_Green._ Ladies, your most _dewoted_. Mr. Trifle, your humble--Oh, this is
the master of the ceremonies, and those are the two that's to dance the
gavotte. Yes, that's Willis--_permitty moy_. (_Takes Kate and Sue's
arms_).

_Kate._ Eh, bless me, Mr. Green, what is the matter? Why, you seem quite
out of spirits; I hope nothing has happened to Mrs. Green or any of the
little Greens.

_Green._ Oh, no, nothing; but you labour under a mistake quite entirely;
there is no Mrs. Green--I am not an 'appy man yet! There are no little
Greens, neither--no young sprouts, I assure you. No, I'm out of spirits
because I have been dished and doodled out of forty pounds to-day; I have
been taken in by the purchase of an 'orse at Tattersall's--It was a very
fine looking hanimal but before I got him home, the cursed creature went
upon three legs--Dragg'd the other behind him, like a pendulum.

_Kate._ My dear Mr. Green, will you join in a dance?

_Green._ Oh, dear no--I couldn't think of such a thing--I never danced but
once, and then I was so excruciated with termidity that I tipped up my
partner, lost one of my shoes, and diskivered an ole in my stocking.

_Kate._ Oh, horrid, how could you support the shock? But here is a lady
who is absolutely pining for the honour of your hand.

_Green._ Vell, if she'll instruct me when I'm out, I don't mind making one
in a quod-reel.

_Sue._ That's well said--hey, here they are, now, my dear Trifle.

_Enter_ TOM, JERRY, _and_ LOGIC, _full dressed_.

_Tom._ At length, my dear Jerry, we are at Almack's, though egad I began
to think we should be too late.

_Jerry._ This indeed is a splendid view of Life in London.

_Tom._ It is; the tip-top! set off to the best advantage, by the best
dresses, finished by the best behaviour. (_Trifle quizzes through glass up
stage_).

_Log._ Yes, witness that puppy, staring us out of countenance with his
quizzing glass yonder--why don't he wear green specs, as I do, if his
ogles are queer.

_Tom._ LETHE! LETHE! my dear Bob--you forget where you are.

_Jerry._ The half-and-half coves are somewhat different from the swaddies,
and gay tykeboys, at the dog pit--Eh, Tom?

_Tom._ Lethe! Lethe; my dear Jerry--mum!

_Trifle._ My dear fa-el-low, you really must excuse my interrupting
you--but what can you possibly have been preaching to your friend from
the country so long--here are three lovely girls waiting to be introduced
to you--relations of mine, the Honourable Miss Trifles--we must make up a
quadrille.

_Tom._ Three girls, Jerry!--Do you hear that?

_Jerry._ I'm up----

_Trifle._ I'm not equal to the fatigue of an introduction myself,--but my
friend Green from the City here, will oblige me by taking the trouble off
my hands.

_Green._ Vith the greatest of pleasure--the Honourable Miss Trifle--Mr.
Corinthian.--The Honourable Miss S. Trifle.--Mr. Hawthorn.--the Honourable
Miss J. Trifle--Doctor Logic.

_Ceremony of introduction takes place._

_Jerry._ What divinities! but I say, Tom, this girl is as like my Sue,
as--yet it can't be.

_Tom._ And this one is as like my Kate as one pea is like another--I could
have betted every rap--six quid to four----

_Jerry._ Lethe, Tom,--Lethe,--L-E-T-H-E. (_Spelling it_).

_Tom._ The retort courteous--I own it.

_Green._ Excuse my hinterfering, my dear fellows, but ve're just going to
make up a quod-reel, and vant you to join us.

_Tom._ Ah! ah! a quadrille by all means--you'll dance, Jerry?

_Jerry._ I know nothing about quadrilles, Tom--but the deuce is in it if I
can't cut as good a figure as _this Mister Jemmy_ Green, so I don't care
if I do kick up my heels a bit.

_Green._ Aye, a dance, a dance.

_After dance_, JERRY _advances with_ SUE.

_Jerry._ Sweet girl! may I be permitted to hope that the partnership of
this evening may lead to one for life?

_Sue._ Ah! Sir, a dance affords you gallant gentlemen worlds of latitude
for flattery and deceit.

_Jerry._ Nay, I am sincere, by heaven!

_Sue._ Come, Sir, they are about to waltz, and if you wouldn't have my
head as giddy as you seem to think my heart is, you will conduct me to a
seat.

_Jerry._ With rapture! This is, indeed, LIFE IN LONDON.


[Illustration]

SCENE.--_Tom Cribb's parlour.--Swell coves, Millers, &c., drinking and
blowing their clouds; Tom, Jerry, Green, and Logic among them.--Cribb in
the chair.--Chorus (Omnes)._

  AIR.--"_Oh, who has not heard of a Jolly Young Waterman._"

    _Oh, who has not heard of our gallant black diamond,
  Who once down at Hungerford us'd for to ply?
    His mawleys he us'd with such skill and dexterity,
  Winning each mill, and making each miller fly!
      He fibb'd so neat--he stopped so steadily;
      He hit so straight--he floored so readily.
  In every game 'twas_ the _Cribb won it fair;
    He's Champion of England, and now fills the chair._

_Cribb._ Thank'ye, gentleman, thank'ye--but as I see by our sporting
oracle, "The Dispatch," there's a mill on foot--I'll give you, "_May the
best man win_."

(_All drink_). May the best man win.

_Green._ May the best man vin.

_Log._ With all my heart; but, zounds! we've almost buzz'd the bowl. Let's
have another, and dy'e hear, Tom, serve it up in your prize cup; Jerry
hasn't seen it, and we mustn't omit that.

_Cribb._ With all my heart, Doctor; but you must stand a bottle to see the
cup.

[Illustration]

_Log._ Yes, yes, I'll stand a bottle to christen the cup.

_Jerry._ Aye, aye; I'll stand a bottle, Tom.

_Tom._ Ditto for me.

_Green._ Yes, and I'll stand a bottle of ditto, too.

_Jerry._ This may, indeed, be called the very Temple of the Fancy.

_Log._ Yes, and here are some of the finest fancy sketches in the kingdom.

_Tom._ Well, Jerry, after our last night's divertisement at Almack's, the
set-to I gave you this morning at the great Commissary-General Jackson's
rooms cannot be better followed up than by a turn in the sporting parlour
of honest Tom Cribb.

_Cribb._ Thank'ye, Mr. Corinthian; I'll always do my best to satisfy you
in any way.

_Tom._ There is one way, Tom, in which you would very soon satisfy us.

_Jerry._ Yes, and I'm thinking not a little to our dis-satisfaction. I am
of opinion that every gentleman should practice the art of self defence,
if it were only to protect him from the insults of vulgar ignorance;
though I by no means set myself up as a champion for boxing.

_Log._ No, for if you did we've a champion here who would set you down.
We'll drink his health, and may he ever prove as successful as when he
floor'd the Black Miller at Thistleton Gap. (_All drink_).

_Tom._ Tom, your health. (_Cribb rises_). Silence for Tom's speech--doff
your castor, Tom--that's the time of day.

_Cribb._ Gentlemen, my humble duty to you. Here's all your healths, and
your families. Bless your soul, I can claim no merit for what I've done;
fighting came naturally like, and thinking others might be as fond of it
as myself, why, I always gave them a bellyfull.

_Tom._ Bravo, Tom, an excellent speech--Cicero never spoke better.

_Log._ No, nor anything like it.

_Tom._ Oh, here comes the cup. Look out, Jerry.


CRIBB'S PARLOUR.[32]

[Illustration]

_Enter_ WAITER, _with the Champion's Cup_.

Come, Tom--I pledge you. (_Cribb drinks; the Cup is passed_).

_Jerry._ Well, this is the pleasantest way of cupping a man I ever heard
of--but come, Bob, give us a song.

_Log._ With all my heart, only let me sluice my whistle first.

  SONG.--LOGIC. AIR.--"_Such a beauty I did grow._"

  _Oh, when I was a little boy,
    Some thirty years ago;
  I prov'd such an anointed one,
    They made me quite a show._
            CHORUS.--_Such a knowing one I did grow._

  _At tea I stole the sugar,
    And I slyly pinched the girls;
  I roasted mammy's parrot,
    Shod the cat in walnut shells._
                            _Such a knowing, &c._

  _At school I play'd the truant,
    And would robbing orchards go;
  I burned my master's cane and rod,
    And tore the fools'-cap, too._
                            _Such a knowing, &c._

  _As I learnt nought but mischief there,
    To College I was sent,
  Where I learn'd to game and swear,
    On fun and frolic bent._
                            _Such a knowing, &c._

  _In town I mill'd the Charlies,
    Aim'd at all within the ring;
  Became one of the fancy,
    And was up to everything._
                            _Such a knowing, &c._

_Jerry._ Bravo!--but, zounds! Tom, Tom! what are you musing so
profoundedly about?

_Tom._ I was thinking about the women, Jerry; those enchanting girls we
danced with a Almack's--could they be the incognitas that challenged us
thither? There is some secret charm about those girls that hasn't allowed
me to rest all night.

_Jerry._ Well, and do you know, Tom, to tell you the truth, I haven't been
a whit better than yourself. But, I say, only see how confoundedly the
dustman's getting hold of Logic,--we'll funk him. (_Tom and Jerry smoke
Logic_).

_Log._ Oh, hang your cigars, I don't like it; let's have no funking.

_Tom._ Well, come, come, rouse up; don't be crusty, Bob--let's start on
some spree; no doubt we shall spring a lark somewhere. (_Rattles heard_).

There's one! go it, Jerry!--Come, Green.

_Log._ Aye, come, Jerry, there's the Charlies' fiddles going.

_Jerry._ Charlie's fiddles!--I'm not fly, Doctor.

_Log._ Rattles, Jerry, rattles! you're fly now, I see. Come along, Tom! Go
it, Jerry! _Exit._


NIGHT SCENE.--TOM AND JERRY UPSETTING THE CHARLIES.

[Illustration]

  Hark! the watchman springs his rattle,
    Now the midnight's lark begun;
  Boxes crashing, lanthorns smashing,
    Mill the Charlies--oh! what fun.

  Pigs are hauling, girls are bawling,
    Wretch, how durst you bang me so,
  My sconce you've broken--for your joking,
    You shall to the watch-house go.

SCENE.--_The City side of Temple Bar, by Moonlight. Watchbox--Watchmen
crying the hour at different parts of the stage._

_Enter drunken_ BUCK.

_Buck._ Steady! steady!--now where shall I go?--I think I'll go strait
home. (_Reels_). No, I won't! I'll go where I think proper--I'll go out
again--I'll go--where I like.

  (_Exit._)

_Enter_ GAS-LIGHT MAN, _who lights the Lamp_.

  SONG.--GAS.

  AIR.--"_I'm Jolly Dick the Lamplighter._"

  _I'm saucy Jack, the gas-light man,
    I put the prigs to rout;
  For where I light do all they can,
    They're sure to be found out.
  Your beaks and traps are fools to me,
    For in the darkest night;
  'Tis I that lets the people see,
    And bring their tricks to light._

  (_Exit_)


[Illustration]

THE CITY WATCHMAN.

_Enter_ O'BOOZLE.--CHAUNT.

  _Past twelve o'clock--a moon-light night!
  Past twelve o'clock--and the stars shine bright!
  Past twelve o'clock--your doors are all fast like you!
  Past twelve o'clock--and I'll soon be fast too!_

[Illustration]

_Re-enter_ BUCK.

_Buck._ Past two did you say, Watchey? didn't think it had been half so
late--I think it's time for me to go home to bed.

_O'Booz._ Why, yes, I thinks as how it is, Sir--you've been taking a
little too much refreshment--steady! steady! hold up, Sir,

(_Pretends to assist him, and picks his pocket of his handkerchief_).

_Buck._ Good night, old Clockey. (_Reels off_).

_O'Booz._ Good night, Sir--take care nobody robs your honour. Why, the
gentleman's left his vipe behind him, and I musn't go off my beat to give
it him: how unfortinate--I'll call him back! Sir, Sir. (_Whispers_). Bless
my soul how wery deaf that ere gentlemen is!--well I must take care of it
for him till he calls again!--I don't know what would become of these here
young chaps if it wasn't for such old coveys as we are--Oh, here comes
that cursed Gas!

_Re-enter_ GAS.

_Gas._ Well, Watchey, and what have you to say about the gas? Eh?

_O'Booz._ Why, that you have been the ruin of our calling--that's all!

_Gas._ Pooh! pooh! nonsense! I only throw a light upon the abuses of it.
(_Pushes by O'Boozle_).

_O'Booz._ Hollo! you had better mind what you are at with your Jacob, or I
shall just-- (_Sounds rattle_).

_Gas._ Come, come, silence your coffee-mill.

_O'Booz._ What I've got to say is this--yes, the matter of the business is
this here:--Since you sprung up, my beat a'nt worth having--I havn't had a
broken head for these ten days past, and there's no such thing as picking
up a couple of sweethearts now--why there isn't a dark corner in the whole
parish.

_Gas._ No more there should be. Folks have been kept a little too long in
the dark.

_O'Booz._ Have they.

_Gas._ But good night, for I suppose as how you won't stand a drop o'
nothin', old Bacon-face?

_O'Booz._ No, I suppose I von't stand a drop of nothing! young
Calf's-head? (_Exit Gas singing, "I'm saucy Jack" &c_).

_O'Booz._ I think I've given him his change. Well I don't see the use of
kicking my heels about here,--people's clocks can tell them the time, just
as well as I can, I'm sure! and a great deal better, if they knew all! so
I shall go into my box, after I've called the half-hour, and have a
regular snooze. It looks damned cloudy too.

  CHAUNT.

  _Half-past twelve--and a cloudy morning.
  Half-past twelve--mind, I give you warning,
  Half-past twelve--now I'm off to sleep!
  And the morning soon my watch will keep!_

(_Goes into box and falls asleep_).

[Illustration]


TOM, JERRY, AND LOGIC IN A ROW.

[Illustration]

  Mercy! what a din and clatter
    Breaks the stillness of the night,
  Lamps do rattle--'tis a battle,
    Quick, and let us see the sight.

  Old and young at blows like fury,
    Tom and Jerry leads the row,
  Milling, flooring all before them,
    This is Life in London, boys.

_Enter_ KATE _and_ SUE _disguised as two young bucks_.

_Kate._ Well, here we are, just before them--and now to cure them of their
love and rambling it must be our plan to involve them in all the scrapes
we can, we shall never have a better opportunity.

_Sue._ No, 'tis now the very witching hour of night, as Shakspere says.

  SONG.--KATE.

  AIR.--"_Ackee oh! Ackee oh!_"

  _When the moon o'er Temple Bar
    Glimmers slow, and gaslights glow;
  And locked in sleep, grave big wigs are
    Snoring sound asleep._

  _We for pleasure gaily run,
  Full of frolic, full of fun;
  Whisking oh! frisking oh!
  To pick up a beau._

_Sue._ Stand aside, my dear Kate, I see occasion for our being active
here! If I may trust my eyes, yonder comes a lovely girl--I must have some
sport with her.

_Enter_ MRS. TARTAR.

_Mrs. T._ There, I've shut up the shop, and as it's Mr. Tartar's turn to
sit as constable of the night, I'll just take him the street-door key, and
then he can let himself in when he pleases--I hope the dear man won't be
long.

_Kate._ Never mind, ma'am, if he should be--anything in my power----

_Mrs. T._ Keep your distance, sir--I'll call the watch.

_Sue._ Nay, but my dear madam, when beauty like yours is neglected, it is
the duty of every man. (_Kisses her_).

_Mrs. T._ Don't take liberties, sir.

_Kate._ I wouldn't take liberties for the world. (_Kisses her_).

_Mrs. T._ Eh, I shall be ruin'd, I'll call out--here, watch! watch!
(_Rattles heard_).

_Enter_ TOM, JERRY, _and_ LOGIC, _with Umbrella_.

_Jerry._ Ay, ay, ay, put down the rain napper, Doctor, the shower is over
now. What's the matter?

_Mrs. T._ I'm in the greatest distress imaginable.

_Tom._ Holloa, what's the row?--a woman in distress! Where's the man would
refuse his assistance?

_Kate._ Who are you, sir?

_Sue._ Yes, who are you, sir?

_Tom._ What, show fight! I'm your man; (_To Kate_).

_Jerry._ And I'm your man, my little one. (_To Sue_).

_Log._ (_To Mrs. T._) And I'm your man, ma'am.

_Mrs. T._ Watch! watch! (_Rattles are heard_).

_Enter_ TEDDY M'LUSH, _an Irish Watchman_.

_M'L._ Ulloa, here! What the devil have you got a fire?

_Tom._ What do you ask for your beaver, Charley?

_Mrs. T._ Why, my goodness, watchman, you are quite drunk.

_M'L._ Eh, drunk are you,--then I'll take care of you.

_Mrs. T._ But I want to give charge of these two gentlemen, who have
behaved in the most extravagant manner--almost kissed me to death.

_M'L._ Oh, you want to charge these gentlemen in an extravagant manner,
for almost kissing them to death, do you?--but I'll soon put a stop to it.

_Kate._ That's right, watchman.

_Tom._ Zounds! fellows, do you think we're to be bullied in this fashion?

_M'L._ Oh, you're bullies dressed in the fashion, are you?--I'll soon take
charge of ye. (_Springs rattle--it is answered without_, R. _and_ L).

_Tom._ A surprise! I'll make sure of this fellow, at all events. Now,
Jerry, I'll show you how to box a Charley.

_Log._ Stop, my boys, secure your tattlers. (_They put up their watches_).

_Tom._ Now, go it, Jerry,--can you play at cricket?

_Jerry._ Yes, Tom.

_Tom._ Then catch--here's the gentleman's toothpicker, and here's his
glim. (_Throw stick and lanthorn to Jerry_).

_Tom upsets O'Boozle's box.--enter Watchmen.--General row--Rattles--Logic
fights M'Lush.--Kate, Mrs. Turtar and Sue, run off.--Green enters with a
bloody nose and two watchmen; he runs off.--Jerry fights with three
watchmen.--Tom fights with three watchmen, floors them._

  CHORUS. (_Omnes_).

  AIR.--_From the Spectacle of "Don Juan."_

  _Watch! watch! watch! Lord how they're bawling!
    Catch! catch! catch! That's if you can.
  Scratch! scratch! scratch! Pulling and hauling--
    Wretch! wretch! wretch! You are the man.
  Patch! patch! patch! Lots of heads breaking!
    Fetch! fetch! fetch! The constable, John.
  Match! match! match! Match them for raking.
    Watch! watch! watch! My watch is gone._

_Mill renewed.--The Women get away as before.--Tom and Jerry perform
prodigies of valour, but are at length overpowered by numbers, and borne
off.--Green enters alarmed, flies on all sides for safety, but is at
length caught up by a watchman in his arms, and carried off.--Scene closes
on two watchmen cuffing one another by mistake._

[Illustration]


TOM AND JERRY IN TROUBLE AFTER A SPREE.

[Illustration]

  AND please your Worship here's three fellows
    Been hammering of us all about;
  Broke our boxes, lanthorns, smellers,
    And almost clos'd our peepers up.

  Our pipkins broke, Sir!--'tis no joke, Sir,
    Faith we're crush'd from head to toe;
  We're not the men, Sir!--Hold your tongue, Sir,
    You must find bail before you go!

SCENE.--_Interior of St. Dunstan's Watch-house.--Mr. Tartar, Constable of
the Night, discovered at table; pen, ink, &c.--Watchman in attendance.
Noise heard without.--Cries of "Charge! charge!"_

_Mr. T._ Holloa! a charge! I must get into my big chair, pull off my
night-cap, cock my wig, and look official. (_Watchman opens the door, and
is knocked down by rush_).

_Enter_ TOM, JERRY, LOGIC, WATCHMEN, KATE, JANE, SUE, MRS. TARTAR,
O'BOOZLE, _and_ M'LUSH, _very uproariously_. MRS. TARTAR _makes signs to_
MR. TARTAR.

_Omnes._ Mr. Constable! Mr. Constable--Please your worship, this
man!--this woman!

_Mr. T._ Silence! silence!--Eh, the devil! Sally Tartar, my wife!--and
winking at me not to take any notice.

_Omnes._ Please your worship--I--I----

_Mr. T._ Silence! silence! Watchman, do you speak first.

_Mrs. T._ (_aside to Tom_). Be quiet--I'll soon turn the tables.

_M'L._ Plaise your honour, I have brought before your worship a most
notorious substitute and common street talker, who, for her foul doings,
has been cooped up in the Poultry Compter, as often as there are years in
a week.--I caught her charging these honest gentlemen, (_pointing to Tom
and Jerry_) in a most impositious manner, and when I civilly axed her, how
she could think of getting drunk, and acting so, she called her bullies
here. (_Pointing to Kate and Sue_).

_Kate._ Zounds, fellow, you don't mean us?

_Sue._ Why, you rascal, I'll twist your neck for you.

_M'L._ Yes; they, your worship, who half murdered me first, and then
buried poor little Teddy O'Boozle in his box, that he mightn't prevent
them murdering t'other half of me; och, they're terrible desperadoes!

_Kate._ Here's a scoundrel for you!

_Mr. T._ Silence! we'll soon get to the bottom of all this.

_Kate._ Zounds, sirrah, we gave the charge ourselves. (_To M'Lush_).

_M'L._ Och, murder!

_Kate._ Those were the assailants. (_Pointing to Tom, Jerry, and Logic_).

_Mr. T._ This is a very intricate affair.

_M'L._ Sure, won't I be after telling you my own story:--as I was going my
rounds quietly enough, up comes these young sparks, and gave me such a
maulagaran, that they knock'd me into the middle of next week--besides
tipping me this here black eye--only see how red it is!

_Mr. T._ I'll soon set all to rights,--first let me hear what you have to
say to all this, woman: these are very serious allegations. (_To Mrs.
Tartar_).

_Tom._ Aye, aye, let the woman speak.

_O'Booz._ Oh, the woman will speak fast enough.

_Mrs. T._ Hold your tongue fellow.--Please your worship, it's all false
from beginning to end--it's he that's drunk! nay, you may perceive he's so
drunk he cannot even give a charge--doesn't know one person from the
other, and can scarcely stand.

_M'L._ Plaise your honour it's only the ague, I have it every Saturday
night regularly, what I've said is all true, so help me Bob,--sure, she's
not a woman to put whiskey in a jug, and throw stones at it.

_Mr. T._ Why, you impudent vagabond you're drunk now--instead of giving
charge of her, the good lady ought to have given charge of you,--what
business had you off your beat, and in such a situation?

_Tom and Jerry._ Aye, what business had you off your beat, old Charley?

_M'L._ They bate me off my beat.

_Mrs. T._ I give charge of him, your worship.

_Mr. T._ And I take it--off with him to the black hole.

_Tom._ Aye, aye, take him up the spout.

_Mr. T._ My dear wife! (_Embraces Mrs. Tartar_). My dear Sally Tartar.

_M'L._ His wife! Och, by the powers, then I've caught a Tartar.

_Mr. T._ Take him away.

_M'L._ Och, sure I'm the boy that cares for nobody--so there's my coat,
there's my hat, there's my rattle and lanthorn,--and to the devil I pitch
the whole of you. (_He is carried off_).

_Kate._ They musn't get off so easily. (_Aside_).

_Tom._ A fortunate turn-up for us, faith.

_Mr. T._ Gentlemen, you are at liberty.

_O'Booz._ Stay, your honour, I've got a charge. This here chap (_pointing
to Tom_) with the Roosian head of hair--he comes up to me like a warment--

_Tom._ Why, you impudent--(_Knocks O'Boozle down--a row ensues_).

_Mr. T._ Silence! silence!--be quiet all of you, can't you?

_Kate._ Mr. Constable, I have a charge--(_to O'Boozle_). Watchman, there's
a crown--what I say, swear to. (_Aside_).

_O'Booz._ I'll swear to anything, your honour.

_Log._ What the devil's in the wind now?

_Kate._ I charge those gentlemen with assaulting this young
woman--(_pointing to Jane_)--the watchman saw the whole transaction.

_O'Booz._ I'll swear it, your worship.

_Tom._ Why, zounds, fellow, I never saw the girl!

_Sue._ (_To Jerry_). Come, sir, you can't say you never saw her.

_Jerry._ Why I have a recollection of seeing her somewhere, though I am at
fault as to the place, at present.

_Kate._ It's a clear case.

_O'Booz._ I'll swear to it, your worship!

  ROUND. (_Omnes_).

  AIR.--"_'Twas you, Sir._"

  _'Twas you, Sir, 'twas you, Sir;
    Your worship, it is true, Sir,
  'Twas you that pull'd the girl about,
    'Twas you, Sir, you._

  _Untrue, Sir, untrue, Sir,
    It was the man in blue, Sir,
  'Twas he that pulled the girl about,
    'Tis true, Sir, true._

  _No, no, Sir, no, no, Sir,
    How can you tell lies so, Sir?
  I did not pull the girl about,
    But I know who._

_Mr. T._ Gentlemen, here are four witnesses against you; and 'tis my
painful duty to commit you, unless you can find good bail.

_Tom._ We'll give you leg bail.

_Kate._ Aye, find good bail, and mind that it is good. There's our
card--come, watchman--Come, Sir Jeremy.

_Sue._ Good-night--Sorry to leave you in such bad company--but beauty
calls; we must obey.

_Tom._ Aye, aye, your mamma waits for you.

_Log._ Go and get a pennyworth of elycampane.

_Jerry._ There's a pair of men-milliners--I say; go home and sleep under
the counter.

(_Exeunt Sue, Kate, and watchmen_).

[Illustration]


TOM AND JERRY AMONG THE "SWELL BROAD COVES."

[Illustration]

  At St. James's they dine, when, flushed with new wine,
    To the Gaming Tables they reel,
  Where blacklegs and sharps, often gammon the flats,
    As their pockets do presently feel.

  Success at first Jerry delighted,
    But ere the next morning he found
  That his purse was most cleverly lighted
    Of nearly Five Thousand Pounds.

SCENE.--_Interior of a fashionable Hell at the West-end of the Town; a
large looking-glass in the flat._

_Enter_ GROOM PORTER _and_ MARKERS.

_G. Porter._ Come, lads, bustle about; play will soon begin--some of the
Pigeons are here already, the Greeks will not be long following.

_Enter_ KATE, SUE, TRIFLE, _and_ GREEN, _the latter with a large patch on
his nose_.

_Kate._ Assist us in this, my dear Trifle, and we ask no more.--The card
we left at the Watchhouse will soon bring our sparks to demand
satisfaction,--you and Green must act the parts of conciliators, and
propose to end the affair in a game of cards; the insight you have given
Green and us into all the arcana of play, will enable us, with the aid of
the servant, to fleece them to admiration; thus we may pursue our plan,
and cure them of this first of vices of Life in London, gaming! and save
their fortune from those who may play for a less disinterested stake.

_Trifle._ I'faith you ought to be very much obliged to me, girls, _pan_
hanour, for letting Green into the secret,--it cost me fiteen cool
thousands, demme! but I'll assist you.--Green, my dear fa-e-llow, take
your post near the glass while they're playing; and, by the number of
fingers you hold up, we shall easily know how many honours they have, and
every other particular.

_Green._ Vith the greatest of pleasure.--I suppose I may hold up my thumb
as well as my fingers, may'nt I--because they may have five honours? you
know!

_Sue._ Oh, certainly, Mr. Green--Ah, man, vain glorious man, how easily
art thou duped?

_Trifle._ They come, you must mind your eye, pan hanour, Green.

_Green._ Oh, you shall find me quite avake--I'm glad I got avay and vas'nt
taken to the vatchouse; I was forc'd to give half-a-crown though.

_Enter_ TOM, JERRY, _and_ LOGIC.

_Tom._ Where is this Sir Jeremy Brag? Oh, here you are, Sir--well met.

_Trifle._ Ah, my dear Tom, how are you?

_Green._ My dear Corinthian, how do you do? I'm glad they didn't put you
in the black 'ole.

_Tom._ Excuse me a moment, Green, I have an affair with this gentleman
that will not admit of a moment's delay.

_Trifle._ What, my friend, Brag,--honest Sir Jeremy? You musn't hurt him,
he's a cursed good fellow.--It must be some mistake.

_Green._ Yes, it must be some mistake.

_Kate._ Entirely a mistake, I assure you--I'm extremely sorry, if that
will give you any satisfaction.

_Tom._ Oh, if you apologize, I'm satisfied; otherwise nothing would have
done, but Chalk Farm! pistols! half-past six! pooh!

_Log._ That's the time of day my flower.

_Green._ Vell, I'm glad it's settled without bloodshed--Chalk Farm!
pistols! half-past six, and pooh!

_Jerry._ (_to Green_). Sorry to see your nose in mourning, Green--here,
Waiter, take my hat. (_Gives waiter the Charley's old beaver to take care
of, who brushes it up ironically, and takes it off_).

_Green._ What say you to burying all differences in a friendly game of
vhist? Trifle and I vill cut out.

_Trifle._ Yes; it's too great an exertion for me to play, _pan
han-our_--I'm only scarcely endurable to the fatigue of looking on,
_r-e-a-l-y_.

_Tom._ A rubber at whist? I have no objection,

_Jerry._ Nor I--you'll not find me at fault here, coz--no one is better
skilled in the mystery of the odd trick, than I am, I flatter myself.

_Trifle._ (_To Tom_). Well you and your country friend can pair with Sir
Jeremy and the Captain, and this worthy vegetable, Green, and I will see
fair play, _pan ha_nour.

(_Kate, Sue, Tom and Jerry sit down to cards; Trifle and Green stand
behind them, overlooking Tom's and Jerry's hand_).

_Log._ (_Drinking and looking on_). They'll be done, as sure as my name is
Logic.--Upon that suit some of the best judges in London have been
had.--Inviting a man to a swell dinner, and making him pay five guineas a
mouthful for it afterwards, is no new feature of Life in London--Go it, ye
flats--"_Thus for men the women fair_," (_singing_). Why, there's that
fellow giving the office to his pal now: well it's no business of mine. Go
it my pippins--what, Tom, have you got the uneasiness?--"_What is beauty
but a bait._" (_Sings again_).

_Tom._ (_Rising and throwing down cards_). Oh, if you can't play better
than that, Jerry, we'd better do nothing at all!

_Log._ (_Singing_). "_Oft repented when too late._"

_Jerry._ Who can play while the Doctor's singing?

_Log._ I knew how it would be--did you hear anything knock, Tom?

_Jerry._ (_Walks about, and, by mistake, takes Logic's hat_). Damn the
cards!

_Sue._ (_To Jerry_). Come, sir, never be downhearted, bad luck now, better
another time.

_Jerry._ Indeed! I'm not going to try, though.

_Kate._ Very sorry, Mr. Corinthian--shall be happy to give you your
revenge some other evening!

_Log._ Well, Tom, are you clean'd out?

_Tom._ Clean'd out! both sides; look here--pockets to let!--here have been
two playing four; and we have stood the nonsense in prime style.

_Log._ Well, don't grumble--every one must pay for his learning--and you
wouldn't bilk the schoolmaster, would you? But come, I'm getting merry; so
if you wish for a bit of good truth, come with me, and let's have a dive
among the Cadgers in the Back Slums, in the Holy Land.

_Jerry._ Back Slums--Holy Land!--I'm at fault again.

_Log._ Why, among the beggars in Dyot Street, St. Giles's.

_Tom._ Beggars! ah, we shall be very good figures for the part. (_Turning
out his pockets_).

_Log._ We must masquerade it there.

_Kate._ (_To Sue, aside_). And so must we--come, Trifle,

  [_Exeunt Omnes._


[Illustration: _Billy Waters, Soldier Suke, Ragged Dick, Little Jemmy._]

  There's a difference between a beggar and a queen,
    And the reason I'll tell you why;
  A queen cannot swagger, not get drunk like a beggar
    Nor be half so happy as I,--as I.


SCENE--_Back Slums in the Holy Land._

MR. JENKINS, SOLDIER SUKE, DINGY BET, LITTLE JEMMY, CREEPING JACK, RAGGED
DICK, _and other well-known Characters discovered_.

  SONG.--MR. JENKINS.

  AIR.--"_It was one Frosty Morning._"

  _Cadgers make holiday,
    Hey, for the maunder's joys,
  Let pious ones fast and pray,
    They save us the trouble, my boys._

  _On the best peck and booze we'll live,
    'Tis fit we their blunt should spend;
  For what to us they give,
    Tenfold to the saints they lend._
                _Rumpti bumpti bay, &c._

  _With our doxies, great as a Turk,
    We taste all life can give;
  For who but a slave would work,
    When he like a prince might live?
  Then lustily call away,
    Cadgers keep up the ball,
  Never mind what's to pay,
    The public pays for all._
                _Rumpti, bumpti bay, &c._

(_Omnes Chorus the burthen of the Song--dancing grotesquely_).

_Omnes._ Ha! ha! ha! (_Billy heard without_). Eh! stand aside--here comes
Billy Waters.

_Enter_ BILLY WATERS, _dancing_.

_Billy._ Ah; how do you do, my darley? How you do, Massa Jenkins?--I drink
with you. (_Drinks deep: Jenkins takes the pot away_).--And you Massa
Jack, I drink wid you, too. (_To Creeping Jack_).--Your helt,--your good
helt, ladies! (_Jack takes pot away_).

_Jack._ I say, Billy, you're biting your name in it.

_Billy._ Yes, me likes to bite my name in such goot stuff as that.

_Mr. J._ Gemman, let's purceed to business--I've got to inform you o'
summat.

_Jack._ Vat's that 'ere?

_Mr. J._ Vy, that 'ere, is this 'ere--I begs to obsarve that the time is
come when you may all consider yourselves independent gemmen; for if
business should fail, you can at any time retire on a pension now.

_Jack._ As how?

_Mr. J._ As how? Vy, this as how. The Mende-_city_ Society, I believe they
call themselves, have kindly purwided a fund for us gemmen; so, if anybody
offers you less nor a mag, or a duece, vy, you may say with the poet, "Who
vou'd his farthings bear? ven he himself might his quivetus make vith a
bare Bodkin."

_Omnes._ Bravo!

_Billy._ Dat dam goot--me like dat!--that Bodkin has dam goot point!

_Mr. J._ It was but t'other day they took'd me up; slapp'd a pick-ax
into one of my mauleys, and shov'd a shovel into t'other, and told me to
vork--says I, gemmen, I cant't vork, cause vy, I'm too veak--so they guv'd
me two bob, and I bolted!

_Beggar._ You did quite right; vell, vile I can get fifteen bob a day by
gammoning a maim, the devil may vork for me. If any lady or gemmen is
inclined for a dance, I'll nash my arm-props in a minute. (_Throws down
his crutches_).

_Billy._ An I play you de tune in de key of de X, Y, Z.

_Jack._ We haven't had a better job a long vile nor the shabby genteel
lay. That, and the civil rig, told in a pretty penny--Come, here's the
ould toast, "Success to Cadging."

_Omnes._ (_Drinking_). Success to Cadging.

_Mr. J._ Does any gemman understand these here Tread Mills that have got
such a footing?

_Jack._ Silence! Gemmen:--I'm a-going to make a hobservation: Mr. Jenkins
means them there Mills as makes you vork vether there's any vork or no--I
can only say this here, gemmens, if them there mills are encouraged, it
von't be vorth no body's vile to exercise vone's calling--because, vy, von
may as vell go and vork for one's living at once--but the subject von't
bear not no thinking on.

_Omnes._ Not by no means. (_General groans_).

_Billy._ Oh, curse a de tread mill, me no like a de "here we go up, up,
up," and "down you go down, down, down," an if you no work, a great lump
of wood come and knock you down so--(_Striking Beggar on head, with
fiddle, who falls down_).

_Beggar._ Oh! he has split my Jemmy!

_Billy._ (_Picking him up_). Poor fellow, him werry sorry, so dere no harm
done. Gemman of de Noah Ark Society, as Little Jemmy here is no starter, I
move he be put in de chair a-top o' de table.

_Omnes._ Bravo! Jemmy in the chair. (_Jemmy is put on the table_).

_Mr. J._ Silence for the cheer.

_Jemmy._ Gemman, I shall return thanks--here's all your jolly good
healths, and success to flat catching.

_Omnes._ Bravo! bravo!

  SONG.--MR. JENKINS, _and barking chorus of Beggars_.

  AIR.--_Bow, Wow, Wow._

  _That all men are beggars, 'tis very plain to see,
  Tho' some they are of lowly, and some they are of high degree;
  Your ministers of state will say, they never will allow
  That kings from subjects beg, but that you know is all bow wow._
                              _Bow wow, wow! fol lol, &c._

  _Then let us cadgers be, and take in all the flats we can,
  Experience we know full well, my boys, it is that makes the man;
  And for experience all should pay, that Billy will allow,
  And as for conscience that of old we know is all bow wow._
                              _Bow, wow, wow! fol lol, &c._

_Enter_ KATE, SUE, JANE, TRIFLE, _and_ GREEN, _disguised as Beggars_.

_Sue._ I do not see them here yet.

_Kate._ They'll not be long, depend on't,--have I sufficiently disfigured
my charms?

_Sue._ Yes, they cannot surely recognise us in these disguises?

_Trifle._ Dear me, a very dreadful perfume, _pan hanour_--essence of
mendicity--I'm sorry I came.

_Mr. J._ (_To Green_). Halloa, my little 'un?

_Green._ Eh! come you a done now; you a done vith you.

_Mr. J._ Sluice your dominos--vill you?--

_Green._ Vot! I never plays at dominoes--It's too wulgar.

_Mr. J._ Vy, then vash your ivories?

_Green._ I've got no hiveries to vash.

_Mr. J._ Drink, vill you? don't you understand Hinglish?

_Green._ Eh! drink--quite a gemman, I declare.--(_While Green drinks
Jenkins dances, expectantly_).

_Ragged Jack._ I say, Jenkins has larned to dance since he's been on the
Mill--vy Jenkins you'll dance your calves into your shoes if you don't
mind.

_Mr. J._ (_To Green, looking at pot_). Vy, I say, you've been eating red
herrings for dinner, my young un!

_Green._ I vas dry, and that's the fact on't.

_Billy._ (_Offering bottle to Sue_). I say, Misses, you drink, eh! my
Buckra Beaudly?

_Jemmy._ Gemman, have you ordered the peck and booze for the evening?

_Sold. Suke._ Aye, aye, I've taken care of that--shoulder of veal and
garnish--Turkey and appendleges--Parmesan--Filberds--Port and Madery.

_Billy._ Dat dam goot, me like a de Madery--Landlord, here you give this
bag of broken wittals, vot I had give me to-day, to some genteel dog vot
pass your door: and you make haste wid de supper, you curse devil you!


BEGGAR'S OPERA. TOM, JERRY, AND LOGIC, AMONG THE CADGERS IN THE HOLY LAND.

[Illustration]

  Now to keep up the spree, Tom, Jerry, and Logic,
    Went disguis'd to the Slums in the Holy Land;
  Through each cribb and each court, they hunted for sport,
    Till they came to the BEGGAR'S OPERA so nam'd;
  But sure such a sight they had never set sight on,
    The quintessence of Tag, Rag, and Bob-tail was there:
  Outside of the door Black Molly was fighting.
    And pulling Mahogany Bet by the hair.
  There was cobblers and tailors, sweeps, cadgers, and sailors,
    Enough to confound Old Nick with their din;
  There was bunters, and ranters and radical chaunters,
    Clubbing their half-pence for quarterns of gin.

_Enter_ TOM, JERRY, _and_ LOGIC--_disguised as Beggars, with Placards on
their backs_--TOM'S "_Burnt Out--lost my little all._"--JERRY'S "_Deaf and
Dumb._"--LOGIC'S "_Thirteen Children._" _&c._

_Sue._ Here they are--I know them in spite of their rags.

_Tom._ This, my dear Jerry, is a rich page in the book of life, which will
save you many a pound, by exposing the imposition of street mendicity.--It
almost staggers belief that hypocrisy is so successful, and that the fine
feeling of the heart should become so blunted, as to laugh at the humanity
of those who step forward to relieve them.

_Log._ 'Tis the blunt that does it--but stow magging, Tom, or we shall get
blown.

_Jerry._ Tom, here's a group of blackbeetles--do you see those lovely
mendicants?

_Tom._ Beauty in rags--I do--Cupid imploring charity, I'll relieve him,
for I'll be after that match-girl directly.

_Jerry._ And I'll chant a few words to that beautiful ballad-singer.

_Log._ And I'll take pity on that charming beggar.

  SONG OF THE CADGERS IN THE HOLY LAND.

  _Come, let us dance and sing,
    While fam'd St. Giles' bells shall ring,
  Black Billy scrapes the fiddle strings,
    Little Jemmy fills the Chair.
  Frisk away, let's be gay,
  This is Cadger's holiday;
  While knaves are thinking, we are drinking,
      Bring in more gin and beer.
          Come, let us dance and sing, &c._

  _Here's Dough-boy Bet, and Silver Sall,
    Lushy Bob, and Yankee Moll,
  And Suke, as black as any pall,
    The pinks of the Holy Land.
  Now, merry, merry, let us be,
  There's none more happier sure than we,
  For what we get we spend it free,
      As all must understand!
          Come, let us dance, &c._

  _Now he that would merry be,
    Let him drink and sing as we,
  In palaces you shall not see,
    Such happiness as here.
  Then booze about, our cash an't out,
  Here's sixpence in a dirty clout;
  Come landlord bring us in more stout,
      Our pension-time draws near.
          Come, let us dance, &c._

_Enter_ LANDLORD _with supper_.

_Land._ Now, your honours, here's the rum peck, here's the supper.

_Billy._ Eh, de supper! de supper! come along, (_After striking Creeping
Jack on fingers with knife_). You damn nasty dog! what for you put your
dirty fingers in de gravy? you call that gentlemans? you want your finger
in de pie, now you got him there!

_Jack._ I only wish'd to taste the stuffining.

_Billy._ And now you taste de carver knife instead! (_takes candle, and
looks at supper_). Vy, what him call dis?

_Land._ Why, the turkey and the pie, to be sure.

_Billy._ De turkey and de pie! I tink you said de turkey and de
pie,--what! de turkey without de sassinger! him shock--him wouldn't give
pin for turkey without dem--me like a de Alderman in chain.

_Land._ I'm very sorry, Mr. Waters, but--

_Billy._ You sorry! I'm sorry for my supper, you damn dog.

_Mr. J._ (_To Landlord_). Vhat! sarve up a turkey without
sassiges,--you're a nice man I don't think.

_Jack._ (_To Landlord_). I tell you vhat, young man, vhen you talk to
gemmen, larn to take off your hat.

_Jemmy._ Vy there's no lemon to the weal, nor hoyster sasse to the rump
stakes.--It's shocking, infamous neglect, that's vot it is.

_Mr. J._ (_To Landlord_). Vy, who do you suppose would eat rump stakes
without ayesters? I've a great mind to smash your countenance for
you!--You ought to have your head punched you ought!

_Jemmy._ Here's no filberds to the Port, nor devils to the Madery, nather.

_Land._ Egad, I think there's devils enough to it. (_Aside_). Gentlemen,
the deficiencies shall be supplied directly. (_He is hunted off_).

_Mr. J._ Hit him; he's got no friends.

_Jemmy._ We must go to some hother tavern, if we're neglected in this here
manner.

_Mr. J._ You may do as you please, gemmen, but for my part, I shall
certainly use some other _hotel_.

_Billy._ You perfectly right, Massa Jenkins, we must use some other
hot-hell.

_Jerry._ (_To Sue, she having attracted his attention_). And so you sell
ballads, eh?

_Sue._ Yes, Sir, three a penny; but if you like to take twelve, I'll make
you an allowance.

_Jerry._ Oh, I'll have the allowance by all means.

_Sue._ (_Singing_).

  "_Relieve my woes, my wants distressing;
  And Heaven reward you with its blessing._"

_Jerry._ Enchanting vagrant! come here, and let me bargain with you.
(_Takes Sue aside_).

_Tom._ (_To Kate, bringing her down_, C.--_in like manner_). And so you
make matches, do you?

_Kate._ Yes!--as you'll find out by and by. (_Aside_).

_Tom._ But 'ant these brimstone dealings contagious? you little flower
of--hum-um-um---- (_Takes her up in a corner_).

_Log._ (_To Jane, bringing her down_ R.--) You've moved me so, that I
could bestow every mag I've got, you beautiful beggar, I could.

(_Knocking without_).

_Enter_ LANDLORD, _running_, L,----_Previously to which, Kate and Sue
have, unobserved, given beggars money, and entered into communication with
them pointing aside to Tom, Jerry and Logic._

_Billy._ Vat de matter, vat broke, eh? (_To Landlord_).

_Land._ Gentlemen vagabonds; the traps are abroad, and half a thousand
beadle and beaksmen are now about the door.

_Billy._ De beak! oh curse a de beak!

_Jemmy._ Gemmen! gemmen! (_Knocking on table to command attention_).

_Jack._ Silence for the chair!

_Jemmy._ Put out the lights, put out the lights, every one shift for
himself. Here, Bob, carry me up the ladder, good luck to you do, Bob.

_Billy._ Landlord! landlord, you dog! which door de beak come in at.

_Land._ At the front.

_Billy._ Vy, den carry me out at de back door, you Dick.

[_He and Jemmy are carried out.--Lights are put out--General
consternation._


FINALE.--TOM, JERRY, LOGIC, SUE, KATE, JANE, MR. JENKINS, CREEPING JACK,
_and_ BEGGARS.

  AIR.--"_Zitti, Zitti--Piano, Piano!_"

  _Mr. Jenkins._

  _Up the ladder, softly creeping,
    Let us gently steal away,
  Traps without their watch are keeping,
    There we'll let the rascals stay._

  _Creeping Jack._

  _Traps without, their watch are keeping,
    Tread softly; no delay;
  Up the ladder slily creeping
    Through the back door and away._

  _Tom, Jerry, Logic, Kate, Sue, and Jane._

  _To my arms, love, softly creeping,
    To bliss we'll steal away;
  Suspense 'tis idle keeping,
    Seize pleasure while you may._

  _Where are you? where are you?
    To my arms, love, softly creeping,
  To bliss we'll steal away,
    Softly, softly; lightly, lightly; away; away! away!_

_Kate, Sue, and Jane, as Tom, Jerry, and Logic advance, attracted by their
voices, adroitly substitute Dingy Bet, Soldier Suke, and another, in the
places of themselves.--Drop falls on Tom, Jerry, and Logic, carrying their
beggarly bargains off in great exultation.--Kate, Sue, and Jane enjoying
the joke in the background._


JERRY LEARNING TO SPAR.

[Illustration]

  Now Jerry's become a fancy blade,
    To Jackson's he often goes
  And to shew his skill in the milling trade,
    He crack'd poor Logic's nose.

  He gloried in having a turn-up,
    And was always the first in a lark,
  To bang and wallop the Charlies,
    And pommel them in the dark.

SCENE.--_Jackson's Rooms, in Bond Street.--Tom, Jerry, and Logic
discovered._

  _Life in London with us is a round of delight;
  It is larking all day, sprees and rambles all night;
  Tom, Jerry, and Logic have ever the best
  Of the coves in the East, and the swells in the West;
  Such pals in a turn-up, so bang up and merry,
  As Jerry, Tom, Logic--Tom, Logic, and Jerry,
  Ne'er was seen, since the world first by Noah was undone,
  So here's Logic's, Jerry's, and Tom's Life in London!_

_Tom._ We are, indeed, a regular trio; every part well harmonised.

_Log._ Ay, all sharps! not a flat or a natural among us.

_Jerry._ I don't think we were so very sharp last night, though, when we
suffered ourselves to be made such apes of in Noah's Ark.

_Tom._ You are right, Jerry, we are all at fault here; instead of clasping
in my arms my pretty timber merchant--judge my horror, when on approaching
a parish lamp, I found myself hugging that duchess of the dust-hole--Dingy
Bet.

_Log._ I was served quite as badly--instead of my seraphic street
solicitor, I found myself carrying on the war with Soldier Suke.

_Tom._ Worse and worse, who did you make yourself agreeable to, eh, Jerry?

_Jerry._ I beg you won't mention it!

_Tom._ Let's think no more on't; the tables were fairly turned upon us,
and we mustn't grumble--we have now stepp'd into Jackson's rooms to decide
the bet with Logic as to our weight; and as he has won it, let's be
going--but stop, before we go, what say you to a bout with the foils?

_Jerry._ No go, Tom,--I'm fly--it's a bad spec; I am not going to expose
my ignorance of fencing here--but as far as a bout at single-sticks
goes--why I have no objection.

_Tom._ Bob will accommodate; won't you, Bob? come, Doctor, you must have a
turn--one small taste.

_Log._ No go! no, no, Mr. Somerset, you're a downy one at that sport--it
won't fit.

_Tom._ Positively you shall, Bob--come the least taste.

_Log._ Well, well! I won't baulk your fancy, as you seem bent upon
sport--but mind, only one bout.

_Jerry._ No; one will be sufficient. (_They place themselves in
position_).

_Tom._ Holloa, Jerry, don't swallow him.

_Log._ Use me gently, I'm but a green at this.

_Tom._ Now, then, come up to the scratch. (_They play; Jerry makes a hit;
Logic parries_).

_Tom._ Well stopp'd--uncommon well, Bob.

_Log._ Do you think so; but, I say, none of your chaffing.

_Tom._ Now, really--

_Jerry._ Yes, yes, he's up.

_Log._ Hum, I don't think it was so much amiss myself.

_Jerry._ Now, Doctor, take care of your bread-basket--eyes right, look to
your napper.

_Tom._ Ay, ay, be leary, Bob, take care of your ribs--mind your pipkin--be
down on your pimple. (_They play a second bout; Jerry breaks Logic's
head_).

_Tom._ I say, Bob, did you hear anything knock?

_Log._ Yes; and nobody at home.

_Jerry._ Doctor! I touch'd your knowledge box there, I think.

_Log._ Touch'd it, zounds! you've broken it, Jerry, but it must have been
cracked before, or I should never have entered the lists with you.
Brown-paper and vinegar for one.

  [_Exit._


SCENE IN A GIN SHOP.

[Illustration]

  Here some are tumbling and jumping in,
    And some are staggering out;
  One's pawn'd her smock for a quarten of gin,
    Another, her husband's coat.

  Behold, Mr. Tom and Jerry,
    Have got an old woman in tow,
  They sluic'd her with gin, 'till she reel'd on her pins,
    And was haul'd off to quod for a row.

SCENE.--INTERIOR OF A LONDON GIN SHOP.

TOM _and_ JERRY _taking_ BLUE RUIN, _after the_ SPELL _is broken up_.

TOM is _sluicing_ the _ivories_ of some of the unfortunate heroines with
blue ruin, whom the breaking up of the SPELL _has turned-up_ without any
luck, in order to send them to their _pannies_ full of _spirits_. JERRY is
in _Tip Street_ on this occasion, and the _Mollishers_ are all _nutty_
upon him; putting it about, one to another, that he is a _well breeched_
SWELL. FAT BET is pretending to TOM, that she had a great objection to
every sort of _ruin_, no matter how _coloured_, since she had once been
_queered_ upon that suit. SWIPY BILL, _a translator of Soles_, who has
been out for a day's _fuddle_, for fear his money should become too
troublesome to him, has just called in at the _Gin Spinner's_ to get rid
of his last _duce_, by way of a finish, and to have another drop of _blue
ruin_. This last glass would have _floored_ him, had it not been for the
large butt of liquor which he staggered against. Hiccoughing, he swears
"he'll stand by OLD TOM while he has a _sole_ left to support such a good
fellow."

[Illustration]

GIN, GIN, SWEET, SWEET GIN!

AIR.--_Home, Sweet Home._

  Walk through London town, in Alley, Lane or Street,
  Eight to ten of all the folks you overtake or meet,
  List to what they talk about, you'll find amid the din,
  The end of every conversation is a drop of Gin.
                    Gin, Gin, sweet, sweet Gin,
                    There's no drops like Gin.

  When the world was young, as we read in classic page,
  The shepherds drank the purling stream, and pass'd the golden age;
  For purling streams or golden age folks now don't care a pin,
  So that they can raise the brass to keep this age of Gin.
                    Gin, Gin, Hodge's Gin, &c.

  When the weather's cold and bleak--in rain and frost and snow,
  The Gin, the Gin they fly to, to warm them with its glow.
  In summer time, to cool their heat, we see them all flock in
  And joy or sorrow, heat or cold, all seek relief in Gin.
              Gin, Gin, Seager and Evans's Gin, &c.

[Illustration]

BATTLE OF--_A GIN COURT!_

  Sir Richard Burnie sad, declares that never in his time,
  Was seen so much depravity, want, misery and crime;
  And all the brawls--the roitings--the day and nightly din,
  Are caused by what he never tasted! filthy! horrid Gin!
              Gin, Gin, Booth's Cordial Gin, &c.

  In India, when a Husband dies--the Widow ne'er can smile,
  She's burnt alive, a sacrifice, upon her husband's pile;
  In London many Wives and Widows deem it not a sin,
  To sacrifice and burn themselves alive with fire of Gin.
           Gin, Gin, Sir Robert Burnett's Gin, &c.

  Decrepit age with furrow'd face, and one foot in the grave,
  Hobbles on his crutches, and for a drop does crave;
  Infants, e'er they plainly talk, perk up each little chin
  And cry, oh mammy, daddy, baby 'ont a d'op o' din.
              Gin, Gin, Currie's strong Gin, &c.

[Illustration]

GIN LANE.

  In former times we'd Goblins, Fairies, Witches, Ghosts and Sprites,
  Who ruled the people's minds by day, and play'd sad pranks o' nights;
  But now the tales of Ghosts and such the people can't take in
  They won't believe in Spirits, yet put all their faith in Gin.
              Gin, Gin, Gaitskell's Cordial Gin, &c.

  In the Reign of old Queen Bess good eating did prevail,
  Her Majesty and all the Court would breakfast on strong ale;
  But now through every Court, the folk the fashion to be in,
  Would _ail_ all day, unless 'fore breakfast they could take some Gin.
                      Gin, Gin, renovating Gin, &c.

  Old women used to cheer their hearts and found it did agree,
  By sometimes taking with a friend a cup _too_ much of tea;
  But now they're much more _spirited_--for tea don't care a pin,
  And only use their tea pots for a cup _too much_ of Gin.
                Gin, Gin, tongue-relaxing Gin, &c.

[Illustration]

GIN AND BITTERS.

  Fighters take a "_a shove in the mouth_," though it is their bane,
  Jack Ketch often has a "_drop_"--Scavengers a "_drain_";
  Pris'ners "_half a yard of tape_" to get in merry pin
  And Actors oft get "_mellow_" with a "_mellow dram_" of Gin.
              Gin, Gin, Tragic, Comic Gin, &c.

  Thompson's shop on Holborn Hill is crowded like a fair,
  All the taps continually running out are there;
  Swing swang go the doors, while some pop out and some pop in,
  Foreigners must surely think that John Bull lives on Gin.
                Gin, Gin, dear seductive gin, &c.

  This World was once deluged by water, drowning Son & Sire,
  But when it is destroy'd again, we read 'twill be by fire;
  And this must be the awful time, so prevalent is sin,
  As all the wicked world do burn their insides out with Gin.
                  Gin, Gin, life-inspiring Gin, &c.


TOM AND JERRY CATCHING KATE AND SUE ON THE SLY HAVING THEIR FORTUNES TOLD.

[Illustration]

  Here lives a Fortune-Telling Gipsy,
    Wrinkled, crabbed, grim and old:
  And Tom and Jerry's fancy ladies
    Are gone to get their Fortunes told.

  They slily view'd them, and pursued them,
    For to have some glorious fun.
  Behind the curtain, see them sporting,
    This is life in London Town.

SCENE.--_Interior of Fortune Teller's Garret._

_Enter_ JANE, KATE, SUE, TRIFLE, GREEN, _and_ LANDLORD.

  GLEE.--_Omnes._

  AIR.--"_Who has seen the Miller's Wife._"

  _Jane, Kate, Sue, Trifle, and Green.
    Have you the Fortune Teller seen?
    I, I for hours have waiting been;
    A shilling o'er her palm I'll pass
    If she'll but look in Fortune's glass.
                                  Have you, &c._

_Land._ Oh, here she comes at last.

_Enter_ FORTUNE TELLER.

_Land._ Now mother, stir your stumps; here are two ladies waiting for you,
and half a score more below.

_F. Teller._ Aye, aye! I turn hundreds away.

_Green._ Vhat an orrid hooman!

_F. Teller._ You must leave the room, gentlemen, (_To Green and Trifle_),
my charms never hold good in the presence of a third person.

_Sue._ You hear, Mr. Green, her charms never hold good in the presence of
a third person.

_Green._ I should vondor if they did--Her charms! Lord--I can take an int;
I'm to go--wery vell, I shall absconce--Vat an ugly old vitch!

_Trifle._ (_To Girls_). We shall meet again at Logic's, so I'll leave you
with the particularly frightful old hag, _pan ha_nour--demme!

  [_Exeunt Green, Trifle, and Landlord._

_F. Teller._ (_Sitting at Table_). Now then, young women. I'll tell
you--I'll tell you--but you must let me shuffle the cards first!
(_Produces cards_) For its all done by shuffling! now then, cut them,
Miss. (_Sue cuts cards_).

_Kate._ Let us sit down while we stay--rather short of furniture; but
never mind, we must make shift.

(_Turns down chair lengthways to sit; she sits on one side, Sue on the
other--Sue is nearly let down by Kate suddenly rising_).

_F. Teller._ (_Looking over cards_). Hey day! what have we here? You'll be
married soon.

_Sue._ I hope so, with all my heart!

_F. Teller._ There's a fair man been paying some attention to you,
lately--Hum! a cradle--three!--nine!--fourteen!--have a large family.

_Sue._ Fourteen! mercy on me!

_Kate._ Enough to make one faint!

_F. Teller._ There's nothing more that I see at present.

_Sue._ Nor there hadn't need been; if I'm to have fourteen children, I
think I've heard quite enough.

_F. Teller._ (_To Kate_). Now, Miss, I'll tell you your fortune; how many
husbands, and how many children, and all about it--all about it.

_Kate._ But I don't want to hear "all about it." (_Imitating her_). I only
want a peep into your magic mirror, and see who I'm to marry.

_F. Teller._ You should have told me that before, I always charge more for
that, but I suppose I must throw it you in! Now, then, stand there; and be
very still!----

(_Music.--Fortune teller places Kate and Sue in position at off end of the
stage--then advances to cabinet--waves her crutch; pulls curtain aside,
and discovers a large glass--Landlord passes rapidly behind_).

There! I told you I'd show him to you!

_Kate._ Wonderful! why that's the man that opened the door to us! (_Aside
to Sue_).

_F. Teller._ Now, Miss, I'll show you your sweetheart!

(_Music and ceremony as before:--Landlord repasses contrary way_).

_Kate._ Ha, ha, ha! that's the same man again! We're both to marry the
same husband!

_Sue._ Amazingly agreeable!

_Kate._ The old impostor!--Well, now you've told us our fortune; can't you
tell your own? (_To Fortune Teller_).

_F. Teller._ No, no--I have no power over my own stars.

_Kate._ Then I'll tell it for you--In half an hour, unless you make good
use of your time, you'll have a visit from Union Hall.

_F. Teller._ O, dear me! It's lucky I've a handy cockloft, and a safe way
over the houses--I'll be off directly, I'll be off directly! (_Throws down
crutch, cloak, &c., and exits hastily_).

_Kate._ "I'll be off directly, off directly." (_Imitating Fortune
Teller_). Ha, ha, ha!--She left all her things behind her!--We can now set
up in business for ourselves.

_Enter_ JANE _hastily_, L.

_Jane._ Oh, my dear girls, as I was keeping watch below, I saw Tom and
Jerry coming down the street, and making for this very house--depend on't
they have traced you here.

_Kate._ What's to be done?--Tom and Jerry!

_Sue._ Jerry and Tom coming here! (_Running about in confusion.--Knocking
at door_).

_Jane._ Don't keep running about there, as if you were out of your senses,
but listen to me--get behind that glass and leave me to manage; I'll play
the Fortune Teller, now!--Help me on with the things--there! there! that
will do; now then, away with you!

(_They hide behind Cabinet, after disguising Jane_).

_Tom._ (_As entering_). Come, Jerry, here they--Eh!--not here!--well, we
won't have our walk for nothing--Let's quiz the old one a bit. I say,
Mother Mummery, can you tell our fortunes for us?

_Jane._ (_As old woman_). Oh, yes; but you must cross my hand first.

_Tom._ She wants the tippery--there--(_Gives money_). There, that's the
figure, Jerry.

_Jane._ (_Looks at Jerry_). Now, Sir!

_Jerry._ Oh! must I fork out, too. (_Gives money_)

_Jane._ (_Looking at their palms_). Dear me!--dear me!

_Tom._ You said that before, you know.

_Jane._ You've been sad rakes--sad rakes indeed!

_Tom._ (_Imitating her_). Have we, indeed?

_Jerry._ Why, you witch of Endor!

_Tom._ What! can the devil speak?--but come, I'll find you out at once. I
conjure you by that which you profess, how'er you come to know it. Answer
me, though you untie the winds! unveil your magic mirror, and show us the
images of the women we are to marry. Come up with your little machine.
_Whew!_ appear--appear!--they won't come!

_Jane._ I must have a little more money first!

_Tom._ Why, you old cormorant! more blunt, eh? there-- (_Gives money_).

_Jane._ There, then!

(_Draws Curtain; Kate and Sue appear behind it in their own dresses; Jane
slips away_).

_Tom._ Well, Jerry, what do you see?

_Jerry._ (_Going up to glass_). Susan Rosebud!--astonishing.----

_Tom._ Susan Rosebud! Oh, my dear Jerry, your ogles must be queer! (_Goes
up; sees Kate_). My Kate! by all that's miraculous! Where is the juggling
hag? (_Looking for Jane_). Why, she's mizzled! Holloa, Mother Damnable!
Oh, there's some mystery in the infernal mirror, which thus I solve!

_Jerry._ What are you about, Tom?

_Tom._ I'm going to mill the glaze--I'll----

(_Is about to break the glass, when Kate and Sue appear as the Miss
Trifles_).

_Tom._ The Miss Trifles! by all that's----

JANE, KATE, _and_ SUE _come forward_.

_Kate._ Ha, ha! fairly caught, upon my word. (_Retires up the stage, then
says aside to Jane and Sue_). Now girls it is time we should bring our
plans to a conclusion. Logic's imprudent ramblings have involved him in
difficulties which, unless timely met, must terminate in ruin. I have
bought up most of his debts; and in the midst of the gaiety of this
evening, it is my intention to have him arrested and conveyed to prison. I
have sent the officer my card of invitation, that he may be sure to gain
admittance. This will open the eyes of the thoughtless trio, and enable us
to put the money we took in trust at the gambling-house to its proper use;
so let's away, and about it straight.

  [_They run off._]


SCENE.--MR. MACE'S CRIB. "ALL MAX" IN THE EAST.[33]

"Oh! for a glass of Max."--_Byron's Don Juan._

  _A plague on those malty cove fellows,
    Who'd have us in spirits relax;
  Drink, they say, and you'll ne'er burn the bellows,
    Half-water instead of all max;
  A glass of good max, had they twigg'd it,
    Would have made them, like us, lads of wax;
  For Sal swigg'd, and Dick swigg'd,
    And Bob swigg'd, and Nick swigg'd.
  And I've swigg'd, and we've all of us swigg'd it,
    And, by Jingo, there's nothing like max.
                    All-Max!
        By Jingo, there's nothing like max!_

Here the _tag-rag_ and _bob-tail_ squad who do not care how the _blunt_
comes or how it goes. _Togs_ or no _togs_! but nevertheless, who must live
at any price, and see a "_bit of life_," let the world jog on how it will;
yet who can drop a _tear_ upon a sorrowful event--_laugh_ heartily at
fun--_shake_ with cold--_perspire_ with heat--and go to _roost_ much
sounder upon a dust-hill than many of the _swells_ can _snooze_ upon their
feather _dabs_; likewise in comparing _notes_, feel happy in the
presumption that there are hundreds worse off in society than themselves.

_Enter_ SAILORS, DUSTY BOB, AFRICAN SAL, MAHOGANY MARY, MRS. _and_ MISS
LILLYWHITE, ROSIN, &c., &c., _with gin measures, drinking--Mr. Mace in
attendance_.

_Bob._ Now, landlord, 'arter that 'ere drap of max, suppose ve have a
drain o' heavy vet, just by vay of cooling our chaffers--mine's as dry as
a chip--and, I say, do you hear, let's have a twopenny burster, half a
quarten of bees' vax, a ha'p'orth o' ingens, and a dollop o' salt along
vith it, vill you?

_Mace._ Here, Waiter! a burster and bees'vax--ingens and salt here.
(_Calling as he fetches the porter from the side wing_). Now, then, here
you are, Muster Grimmuzzle. (_Holding out his right hand for the money,
and keeping the porter away with the other_).

_Bob._ That's your sort; give us hold on it. (_Takes Mace's empty hand_).
Vy, vhere?

_Mace._ (_Keeping the porter back_). Vy, here.

_Bob._ Oh, you are afeard of the blunt, are you?

_Mace._ No, it ain't that; only I'm no schollard--so I always takes the
blunt with von hand, and gives the pot vith t'other. It saves chalk and
prewents mistakes, you know.

_Bob._ Now then for the stumpy. (_Searching about in his pockets for the
money_). My tanners are like young colts; I'm obliged to hunt 'em into a
corner, afore I can get hold on 'em--there! hand us over three browns out
o' that 'ere tizzy; and tip us the heavy. (_Landlord receives money and
delivers porter_). Vy don't you fill the pot? Likes to have a head on the
pot.

_Mace._ How can you have a head on the pot, vhen the chill's off?

_Bob._ Vell, then let me have the next vith the chill on, vill you? (_Bob
drinks_).

_Sal._ You leave some for me, Massa Bob. (_Drinks and empties the pot_).

_Bob._ Vy, Sarah, you seems fond on it--likes to see the end, eh?

(_Bob sits down on one stool and pulls another to the front of him on
which he arranges the bread, cheese, onions, &c., then tearing open the
loaf discovers a live mouse which he holds up by the tail, and walking up
to Mr. Mace, says_:--

I say guv'nor I didn't axe ye for a hanimated sandvitch did I?

_Mace._ Oh! you is allus so werry partic'lar some times you is. But I say
ladies and gemmen, I hopes for the harmony of the evening, you'll not be
back'ards in handing out your mags and duces to the teazer of the catgut
here.

_Bob._ Aye, aye!--lend us a tanner on the bell, vill you?

_Mace._ Lend you a tanner on the bell?--It's vhat I don't like, Muster
Bob; highly improper--you know I've a wery great objection to anything of
the kind; however, for vonce, I suppose I must; though it 'aint right--but
talking o' that, I begs leave to hint, that I trusts heavy vet von't be
the order of the evening!:--

_Tom._ (_Without_).--No, no, damn up stairs, we'll go in here.

_Mace._ Zounds, I hope no traps isn't abroad, and that there 'aint any
beaksmen out on the nose!

_Sal._ (_Looking out_). Law, lovee, no, it's only some gemmen out on the
spree--I dare say dat dey'll stand a drop o' summat all round.

_Enter_ TOM, JERRY, _and_ LOGIC.

_Tom._ Now, my dear Jerry, here we are amongst the unsophisticated sons
and daughters of nature, at All Max in the East. Let the West boast of
their highfliers as they will, you'll find there are still some choice
creatures of Society left here.

_Log._ What, my lily! here take a drop of mother's milk. (_Gives black
child gin out of a measure he has received from Landlord_). Landlord, let
every one have a glass of what they like best, at our cost.

_Mace._ Regular trumps! I can charge vhat I likes here. (_Aside_). Now,
Muster Bob, vhat'll you take?

_Bob._ Oh, ax my Sal.

_Mace._ Now, Marm Sal, give it a name!

_Sal._ Vy, bring me de kwarten of de Fuller's earth.

_Tom._ Come, it shall be a night of revelry, my
pippins--Song--Dance--everything in the world!

_Mace._ Aye! a jig, a jig!--Remove the stand-stills--sit down, gemmen. Ve
shall be as merry as mudlarks, and as gay as sand-boys soon--It's a poor
heart vhat never rejoices. Come, Muster Grimmuzzle, vhat say you to a
minnyvit vith your ould lady in mourning, here.

_Bob._ Vith all my heart; I am never backward at any thing of that 'ere
sort; am I Sal?

_Sal._ Dat you not, Massa Bob.--Massa Fiddler, you ought to be shame; your
fiddle drunk, and no play at all.

_Log._ I'll gin him a little, my Snow-ball; then he'll rasp away like a
young one; won't you, my old one? (_Gives Fiddler gin and snuff_).

_Bob._ 'Snowball,'--come, let's have none o'your sinnywations, Mister
Barnacles; she's none the vurser, though she is a little blackish or so!

_Log._ Here, Landlord, more Blue Ruin, my boy!

_Tom._ Ceremonies are not in use here, so there's no occasion for the
master of them, Come, start off, my rum ones! the double shuffle.

_Jerry._ Aye, aye! come it strong my regulars.


[Illustration]

COMIC PAS DEUX--DUSTY BOB _and_ BLACK SAL.

_Accompanied by Rosin, on his cracked Cremona, and Jerry on a pair of
Tongs, to the Air--"Jack's alive." In the course of the Pas Deux, Sal, by
way of a variation, and in the fulness of her spirits, keeps twirling
about: at the same time going round the Stage--Bob runs after her, with
his hat in his hand, crying "Sarah! vy, Sarah, 'aint you well?" &c.--The
black child seeing this, and thinking there is something the matter with
its mother, also squalls violently; stretching its arms towards her: at
length, Sal, becoming tired of her vagaries, sets to Bob, who exclaims,
"Oh! it's all right!" and the dance concludes._

_Jerry._ That would do honour to any crib; there's nothing like pairing
off according to fancy. You're quite fly to the trotter shaking
department, I see, my rum one!

_Tom._ To be sure he is a regular gravel digger; come, Sal, my lily.
(_Gives Sal gin_).

_Bob._ Vy, Sarah, vere's your manners; vy don't you kurchy to the gemman?

_Sal._ Me do dat de second time. (_Receives another glass_). Your good
helts, gemmen all. (_Drinks_).

_Tom._ Here, Dusty, my prince, now then, sluice your bolt. (_Gives Bob
gin_).

_Bob._ Vell, your honours, here's your luck. (_Bolts gin_). That's a
regular kwortern, I knows by my mouth.

_Tom._ There's a swallow, Jerry, this fellow is a perfect mop.

_Jerry._ Now, Doctor, we must think of starting--Eh!--zounds! what's the
matter with you? (_To Logic_).

_Log._ I've left off drinking in a great measure.

(_Merry and singing_). "_There's a difference between_," _&c., &c._

_Jerry._ Tom, see how snugly Captain Lushington's getting abroad of Logic.
Come, my boy.

_Tom._ Remember your appointment with the ladies.

_Log._ I do like this fiddle, I will have this fiddle. (_Pulling Fiddler
along_).

_Tom._ Eh, zounds, Doctor, you're going to smug the fiddler, and prig the
pewter. (_Taking gin measure away from him_). Now then, what's to pay,
landlord?

_Mace._ All out, vill be fourteen bob and a kick, your honour.

_Tom._ Well, there's a flimsy for you; serve the change out in max to the
coves and covesses. (_Gives money_).

_Mace._ Thank your honour--and good luck to you.

_Tom._ Now then, Doctor, this way, my boy; come, come along.

_Log._ (_Singing_). "_A Queen she cannot swagger._" I will have this
fiddle--"_nor get drunk like a beggar_."--More max here--"_Nor be half so
merry as I_."

[_Logic becoming obstreperous, they partly force him off, and exeunt with
him._]

_Mace._ Regular out-and-outers those 'ere! quite gemmen--I've stuck it
into 'em a bit! (_Aside_).

_Bob._ Aye, ay, ve knows it! vith the chill off!--you're an out-and-out
_Stringer_, you are!

_Mace._ So I don't mind standing a trifle of summat all round, just by way
of drinking their healths; and vhen ve've had the liquor, ve'll kick up a
reel, and all go to our dabs.

_Bob._ Ay ay! but before that, mind you get us a bit of grub for me and my
Sal--about a pound and a half of rump steak--

_Sal._ No, two pound Massa Bob, for her rather peckish.

_Bob._ Very vell, two pound, vith a pickled cowcumber, and a pen'orth o'
ketchup, to make some gravy of; and stick it up to the bell!--d'ye hear?

_Mace._ You'll melt that 'ere bell if you don't mind, Muster Bob; this is
vhat I don't like--vhy don't you always take care and bring plenty of
money in your pockets?--You know I'm wery particular in things of this
here kind!--though I don't mind obliging _you_----

_Bob._ Ay, ay, vith the chill off, I knows!--but it's all right--must have
the bell in the morning, you know, even if I spout the togs for it.

_Mace._ Now then, strike up, my beauty!

_Bob._ Aye, aye, pull it out, my pink!

[_Comic Characteristic Reel by all the Characters; who, under the
influence of All Max, at last reel off._]


POOR LOGIC IN THE FLEET PRISON.

[Illustration]

  All in the Fleet poor Logic's moor'd
    His swaggering's now at an end!
  And Tom and Jerry are gone on board,
    Their friendly assistance to lend.

  Now, all their sprees and gambols are closed
    For Logic has vow'd and swore
  When he's from Limbo safe loosed,
    He'll marry----and rake no more.

SCENE.--_Interior of Whistling Shop; Master and Mistress of Whistling
Shop--Racket players--Poor Tradesman, Smuggler, and Debtors discovered._

  CHORUS.--(_Omnes_).

  _All in the fleet we're safely moor'd,
  But while we've trusty pals on board,
                    Law may to
                    The devil go;
    Then, brother Debtors, sport and play._

  _Let tempests whistle as they will,
  Our Whistling Shops will drown them still;
                    A yard of tape
                    Will prove the Cape.
    And drive each thought of care away,
                          Tol de rol._

_Enter_ TURNKEY _and_ LOGIC.

_Turn._ Here's Doctor Logic come to pay you a visit, gentlemen--You'll get
good accommodation here, Sir; and find some regular trumps among 'em.

_Log._ Thank'ye.----

_Turnkey._ Is that all?--Only thank'ye?

_Log._ Oh, want some tippery! (_Gives money_). There! (_Exit
Turnkey_)--Brothers, your most obedient. Some of my friends, thinking my
learning was not complete, have sent me to your College to finish my
education; not that I owe anything!--

_Omnes._ Oh, no!--we none of us owe anything!--Oh! dear no.

_Log._ I'm only here on suspicion of debt.

_Omnes._ That's the case with all of us!--we're all of us only here on
suspicion!

_Log._ You'll not find me a bad chum--but ready to hunt down any game you
can start. Landlady, serve them with a glass of tape, all round; and I'll
stand Sammy--

_Omnes._ A regular trump! (_Landlady serves them all with liquor, out of a
bladder, as directed; Logic pays_).

_Smug._ Well, while I can blow my cloud, and get a drop on the sly, I sets
the Excise at defiance. What's a little smuggling?

_Poor T._ (_Aside_). Could I have conveyed the value of that liquor to my
wife and children, it might have saved them another day from starvation!

_Log._ (_Overhearing_). What! hard up!--wife and children starving!--that
sha'n't be while Bob Logic has a quid left.--Here, my honest fellow, go
fill their bellies and make them happy. (_Gives money_).

_Poor T._ May heaven bless you, Sir--you know not half the good you have
done!

  [_Exit poor T._]

_Log._ No: but I know one thing enough, and that is, the value of money--a
prison is the only place to learn that in; and if ever I get out again----

_Enter_ TOM _and_ JERRY.

_Log._ Ah, Tom and Jerry! my boys! this is kind indeed!

_Tom._ Never desert an old pal in limbo, Bob; but when you get safe out of
the river tick, take my advice, look _into_ not _over_ your affairs; if
young men would but deign to consider this, would but, in the flowery
wilds of pleasure, cast one glance at the guiding star of prudence--their
pockets would be more full, and the prisons of the law more empty.

_Log._ Never doubt me, Tom--but welcome to 'Freshwater Bay,' to my new
settlement on board the Never-Wag man of war;--homeward station--forced to
be on good _terms_ with others, if I am not with myself----

_Jerry._ Still as lively as ever, eh, Doctor?

_Log._ And so will you be when the haberdasher has served you with a good
yard of tape.

_Jerry._ 'Haberdasher! Tape!' I'm at fault again.

_Logic._ The haberdasher is the whistler, otherwise the spirit-merchant
Jerry--and tape the commodity he deals in--It's a contrabrand article
here--white is Max, and red is Cognac.

_Jerry._ Then give me a yard and a half of red, if you please. (_Landlady
gives Jerry liquor_).

_Enter_ TURNKEY, _with a letter_.

_Turn._ Here's a stiffener for you, Doctor!----

_Log._ A letter for me!----

_Turn._ It 'aint paid for.

_Log._ More tip, eh! (_Pays him_). This fellow's a regular leech! you
never use any chalk here?

_Turn._ Can't afford it; besides it ain't in our way, and then it makes
such a mess over the walls.

_Log._ (_Opening the letter_). Aye, aye, that will do, go along--(_Exit
Turnkey_) What's this?--Five hundred pounds!--(_Takes out
note_).--Wheugh!--Let me read--"Sir Jeremy Brag and the Captain, present
compliments to Doctor Logic, request his acceptance of the enclosed, to
free him from his present difficulties; it is the same sum his friends
threw away on an _odd_ trick the other evening.--If Mr. Logic and his
friends will look in at the Venetian Carnival, this evening, they will be
joined by the Captain, Sir Jeremy, the Miss Trifles, and the Mendicants
from the Holy Land; when, if properly solicited, the Masqueraders may
unmask." Prodigious!--_I'm_ at fault here. I'll away at once; drop the
debt and costs in the hatchway, and be off to the Carnival.

_Tom._ We'll go with you, Doctor.

  [_Exeunt Tom, Jerry, and Logic._

_Smug._ Why, they've hoisted sails, lads--well, success to them--oh the
changes of life!

  CHORUS.--(_Omnes_).

  AIR.--"_Here we go up, up, up._"

  _Some there are up, up, up,
    And some there are down, down, down,
  But whether above or below,
    Let us always take care of the crown._

  _They that are out may grin,
    While those that are in may fret,
  Yet poverty ne'er was a sin,
    And we're sure they can't hang us for debt.
                                  Fol, lol._

  [_Exeunt._


[Illustration: LOTS OF FUN AND FROLIC.]

SCENE.--_Leicester Square.--Characters dressed in Masquerade, cross the
stage, as if going to the Carnival--Dominoes lead the way._

_Enter_ OLD MAID _and_ POODLE _followed by_ CLOWN--CLOWN _steals_ POODLE,
_and pops his own head in_ POODLE'S _place_--OLD MAID _enraged, pummels_
CLOWN'S _pate till she breaks her fan_--CLOWN _carries her off squalling_
R. _They are followed by grotesgue_ DWARF, _in chintz gown and cap, with
big head; preceded by servants with candles, who also exit_.

_Enter_ LILLIPUTIAN HARLEQUIN, COLUMBINE, _and_ CLOWN; L. _Characteristic_
PAS _de_ TRIOS, _to the_ "NATIONAL WALTZ;" _little_ COLUMBINE _coquetting
between_ HARLEQUIN _and_ CLOWN--_after they are off._ O. P. _various_
MASKS _enter severally--business ad libitum_.


SCENE.--_Venetian Carnival brilliantly illuminated--various characters
on--Music, Dancing, Tumbling, and masquerade business ad libitum, till
enter Jerry (as Sportsman) and Sue as Domino._

_Sue._ (_Coming down_). What game would you start here, Mr. Sportsman?

_Jerry._ None, my pretty Domino--I only hunt in Somersetshire; that's my
manor.

_Sue._ Manners makes the man, certainly; but you're making game of me.

_Jerry._ I speak truth, by heaven!--Oh, Susan, lovely Susan, never can I
forget thee, dear.

_Sue._ Indeed! then Susan takes you at your word. (_Unmasks_).

_Jerry._ Susan Rosebud!--Astonishment! then the Captain--Miss Trifle, and
the pretty ballad singer!----

_Susan._ Were one and the same person, your humble servant!--I followed to
preserve and reclaim you; I have done so, and I am happy--but your cousin
comes, stand aside.

  [_They retire._

[Illustration]

_Enter_ TOM, _as Don Giovanni, with_ KATE _as Domino_.

_Tom._ (_Advancing with Kate_). Could I find one of your sex that would be
faithful, I would never rove again.

_Kate._ Are you sincere?--

_Tom._ By heaven!--I am!

_Kate._ Then behold the reward of your sincerity, the constancy of your
faithful Kate. (_Unmasks_).

_Tom._ Kate! oh, my dear Kate!

_Enter_ LOGIC, _as Doctor Pangloss, with_ JANE _in Domino_.

_Log._ (_Advancing with Jane_). I am an L.L.D. and A.S.S.

_Jane._ (_Unmasks_). You are indeed an A-S-S, not to have found me out
before.

_Log._ What! my Jenny!----

_Jerry._ Don't be astonished, Bob--I'll explain all:--Tom and I are going
to make two matches; you must make the third--form a bunch of
matches--exchange one imprisonment for another, her arms, you dog!--'aint
you up?--

_Log._ I'm fly--Oxford has no fellowship like this! (_Embracing Jane_).

_Tom._ (_Coming down with Kate_). You are right, Bob, it has not.--Well,
we have been amused by Life in London, now let us endeavour to profit by
it;--let our experience teach us to avoid its quicksands, and make the
most of its sunshine;--and in that anticipation let us hope our kind
friends will pardon Tom, Jerry, and Logic all their sprees and rambles.


JERRY GOING BACK TO THE COUNTRY.

[Illustration]

  Three merry boys were Logic, Tom and Jerry,
  And many funny larks they have seen;
  Farewell, gay London, the country calls me home again,
  The coach moves on--the play is done--Goodbye, Goodbye.


THE WHITE HORSE CELLAR, PICCADILLY:--

Was now the parting scene, and the hand of the clock pointed very near to
the time for the departure of the coach. The bustle of this place
prevented the Trio from much conversation; but the _separation_ of such
_staunch pals_ was a trying moment to the feelings of poor JERRY: and
though he was above _blubbering_ like a _Johnny Raw_, yet his HEART was
rather _touched_, and his _ogles_ underwent some _queer_ sensations, which
he endeavoured to suppress, when _Coachy_ asked "if all was right" and
began to smack his whip.

The hearty grasps of the hand, and the _good-byes_ were over between
HAWTHORN and his _pals_, and TOM and LOGIC were only waiting to see the
coach start, when JERRY, with much eagerness of expression, as if he had
forgotten to mention the circumstance previously, said, "my dear Coz"--but
the coach was now fast rattling over the stones, and the last broken
sentence which the ear of the CORINTHIAN caught was, "Mention me in the
kindest manner to the lovely SUE; tell her I am only gone into _training_,
and in the course of a few weeks I shall most certainly return to London
to enjoy a few more _sprees_ (which I have so unexpectedly been deprived
of), and also to have with her the pleasure of another game at romps."

THE END.




The Adelphi version of Tom and Jerry, or Life in London, was performed
ninety-three nights in succession; and its _golden_ career only stopped by
the termination of the season. At the end of which, _Little_ Bob Keeley,
who had made a _great_ hit as Jemmy Green--a character imported into the
piece by Mr. W. T. Moncrieff--went with Walbourn, the great Dusty Bob, and
Cooper, who played to the life, Little Jemmy, the cripple, to Sadler's
Wells Theatre, were Pierce Egan's own version was produced April 8th,
1822. Keeley was threatened by the Adelphi lessees--Messrs. Rodwell and
Jones--with an action for breach of engagement, but the action was never
brought. In the season of 1822-3 at the Adelphi, John Reeve--'_Glorious
John!_' became Jerry Hawthorn, Mr. Brown took the part of Jemmy Green, and
several other changes in the original cast were effected. At Christmas,
1822, TOM and JERRY was compressed so as to admit of the production of a
pantomime called _Beauty and the Beast_, or, _Harlequin and the Magic
Rose_. When the managers announced that:--

    "In consequence of the astonishing Overflows to witness the admired
    Extravaganza of TOM and JERRY, or Life in London, and to prevent, as
    far as possible, any unpleasant Disappointment, the Public are
    respectfully informed that:--

    NO PLACES, IN FUTURE CAN BE KEPT, UNLESS PAID FOR WHEN TAKEN.

    Shouts of Laughter and Applause attend each Representation of the New
    Pantomime."

When the long run of TOM and JERRY ended at the Adelphi, a spectacular
extravaganza of the same kind was produced with the title of "GREEN IN
FRANCE," but it did not catch the fancy of the town like its
predecessors.[34]

In 1825, Mr. Moncrieff published his dramatic version of Tom and Jerry;
or, Life in London--which he dedicated to:--

    HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS, FREDERICK DUKE OF YORK,

    MAY IT PLEASE YOUR HIGHNESS:--

    The distinguished honour conferred by your Royal Highness on this
    Drama, in commanding and witnessing its performance at the ADELPHI
    THEATRE, (an honour unprecedented in the annals of the Minor Stage)
    and the flattering manner in which your Royal Highness was afterwards
    graciously pleased to express your high approbation of it, emboldens
    me, with the most profound respect, to lay it at your Royal Highness's
    feet, and under the sanction of your illustrious name, commit it in
    its present form to the world.

    Having no higher pretensions than that of presenting a faithful
    picture of the various scenes it pourtrays, the favourable opinion of
    your Royal Highness stamps it with an authority that was alone wanted
    to crown the success with which it has been received by the Public.

    Like the illustrious Haroun al Raschid, your Royal Highness is said to
    have made yourself acquainted with the many coloured changes of life;
    presented in the people over whom you may be one day called to
    preside, by wisely throwing off the restraint of rank, and witnessing
    nature in its genuine state. That the scenes I have pourtrayed are not
    caricatured for the sake of dramatic effect, but are actually those
    which might have been seen by any one choosing to seek them, your
    Royal Highness can therefore adequately testify; and your Royal
    Highness's imprimatur will effectually ward off all the imputations
    that have been cast upon my motives and veracity, by the bigoted and
    envious.

      I have the honour to be,
        With the most profound respect and devotion,
          Your ROYAL HIGHNESS'S
            Most obedient and very humble Servant,
              W. T. MONCRIEFF.

    104, Drury Lane,
    Dec. 15, 1825.

Mr. Moncrieff in his Dedication--TO HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS: and in his Preface
that follows throws so much true light and shade on public opinion--_pro
et con_--of the period, that we deem it not only desirable but instructive
to the present generation to publish the same _in extenso_.

    PREFACE.

    "It is scarcely necessary to observe this Drama is founded on the
    "LIFE IN LONDON" of my friends PIERCE EGAN, and the inimitable
    CRUICKSHANK. Aided by PIERCE'S clever illustrations to the matchless
    series of plates to that work, I have in this piece, endeavoured to
    put them into dramatic motion; running a connecting story through the
    whole, making such modifications and amplifications, and furnishing
    such reflections and results, as I deemed necessary. From the
    popularity of the subject, the novelty and acknowledged truth of the
    various scenes comprised in it, and the beauty of the music I
    fortunately selected, this Piece obtained a popularity, and excited a
    sensation, totally unprecedented in Theatrical History; from the
    highest to the lowest, all classes were alike anxious to witness its
    representation; Dukes and Dustmen were equally interested in its
    performance, and Peers might be seen mobbing it with Apprentices to
    obtain admission. Seats were sold for weeks before they could be
    occupied, every Theatre in the United Kingdom, even in the United
    States, enriched its coffers by performing it; and the smallest
    tithe-portion of its profits, would for ever have rendered it
    unnecessary for its Author to have troubled the public with any
    further productions of his Muse. It established the fortunes of most
    of the Actors engaged in its representation, and gave birth to many
    publications and several newspapers. The success of the "BEGGAR'S
    OPERA," the "CASTLE SPECTRE," and "PIZARRO," sunk into the shade
    before it. In the _furore_ of its popularity, persons have been known
    to travel post from the furthest parts of the Kingdom to see it; and
    five guineas have been offered for a single seat.--These facts are not
    recapitulated here from any feeling of egotism--the success of this
    Drama, was the temporary rage of the moment, from time-serving
    circumstances, and was never regarded in any other light by its
    Author; they are merely noticed as curious events in theatrical
    history.--With respect to the cry of immorality, so loudly raised by
    those inimical to the success and plain-speaking of this piece, it is
    soon answered! To say nothing of the envy of rival Theatres feeling
    its attraction most sensibly in their Saturday Treasuries, those
    notorious pests the Watchmen; dexterously joined in the war-howl of
    detraction raised against it, and by converting every trifling
    street-broil into a "_Tom and Jerry row_," endeavoured to revenge
    themselves for the _expose_ its scenes afforded of their villany and
    extortion; but all in vain. In vain, too, it was the Actor's old
    rivals, the _Methodists_, took the alarm--in vain they distributed the
    whole of the stock of the _Religious Tract Society_ at the doors of
    the Theatre--in vain they denounced "_Tom and Jerry_" from the
    pulpit--in vain the puritanical portion of the Press prated of its
    immorality--in vain the prejudices of the stiff-backed part of the
    Bench--the hypocritical host of Saints cried it down, and preached woe
    and destruction to those who supported it.--They but increased the
    number of its followers, and added to its popularity. Vainly, too, was
    the Lord Chamberlain called upon to suppress it--His Grace came one
    night to see it, and brought his Duchess the next. It was nearly the
    same with the Chief Magistrate of Bow Street: his experience rendered
    him perfectly sensible, that, long before the appearance of "_Tom and
    Jerry_," young men and country gentlemen would in moments of hilarity,
    sometimes exceed in their potations, be provoked into quarrels by
    designing Watchmen, and consigned, for purposes of extortion on the
    following morning, to His Honour, the Night Constable; but according
    to the Saints' accounts, to believe their tales, it must be held as a
    point of faith, that no one, previous to the appearance of "_Tom and
    Jerry_," ever got into a row!--Oh, no--drinking and all its train of
    follies were unknown to youth, until inculcated into their minds by
    the example of "_Tom and Jerry_!" How many an unsuspecting _Country
    Cousin_ has been converted, in the public newspapers, through an hour
    of harmless frolic, into a JERRY; while his equally unconscious Town
    relation figured as a TOM, and any honest plodder they may have had
    with them is transformed into a BOB LOGIC--his first appearance in
    that character. The thing speaks for itself: the hue and cry of the
    immorality and danger of this piece was raised merely for the purposes
    of plunder, by Watchmen and others. So far from being immoral, if the
    piece be fairly examined, it will be found to be as correct in its
    tendency as any production ever brought on the stage. The obnoxious
    scenes of life are only shown that they may be avoided: the danger of
    mixing in them is strikingly exemplified; and every incident tends to
    prove, that happiness is only to be found in the domestic circle.

    "It has been said, that many of the scenes of this piece should not
    have been exhibited, being scenes of dissipation, riot, and
    impropriety--ridiculous!--Has not Shakespeare asserted that the proper
    use of the drama is--"to hold, as 'twere, the mirror up to nature, to
    show virtue her own feature, and vice her own image, and the very age
    and body of the time its form and pressure:" could any piece do this
    more effectually than "_Tom and Jerry_?" take away the scenes
    complained of, it ceases to show the form and pressure of the age and
    time.

    "I should not have published this piece had not its success produced
    such a host of imitations and plagiarisms, that more to prevent myself
    suffering from the demerits of others than to avail myself of any
    merits of my own. I give it with all its imperfections on its head, to
    the world; willing to pay _smart blunt_ for my own misdeeds, but not
    _stand Sammy_ for those of others. To those venerable noodles who
    complain that I and my prototype, PIERCE, have made this the age of
    flash; I answer any age is better than _The age of cant_! I tell my
    pious lecturers, in plain terms, I shall always feel pleasure in
    reflecting that I have in this piece, _nosed_ every _move_ on the
    _board_, in the _game_ of the _spell_; opened the _ogles_ of the
    _green_ and the _yokel_, and the _muff_, and the _raw_; struck a light
    on the _darky_ of their _knowledge boxes_, _flashed_ the _gab_ of the
    _prig_, the _leg_, the _scamp_ and the _stringer_, in their
    _listeners_, put them _fly_ and _awake_ to all they should be _up_ and
    _down_ to, and enabled them, if their _lugs_ are at all _wing_ to the
    _bits_ of _good truth_, _pattered_ to them in every scene of this
    piece, _bank_ their _rag_, _chivey_ their _nurses_, _nash_ their
    _leading strings_, and keep out of the way of the _cut-along-coaches_
    as they travel the high _toby_ of existence; and having so done, can
    lay my _mawley_ on my _core_, and conscienciously _chaunt_ my
    conviction, in which my _reader_ will bear me out, "that I've cut all
    the _buzmen_, and _done_ the _thing right_."


      W. T. M.

    104, Drury Lane,
    Dec. 15, 1825.


[Illustration]

THE DUSTMAN.

  Bring out your dust the dustman cries,
    Whilst ringing of his bell:
  If the wind blows, pray guard your eyes,
    To keep them clear and well.




PIERCE EGAN ON MR. WALBOURN'S "DUSTY BOB."

    "It is the greatest possible praise to be praised by a man who is
    himself deserving of praise."

    "Approbation from Sir Hubert Stanley is praise indeed."


Mr. Walbourn's theatrical fame was made by, and, strange to say, expired
with the character of Dusty Bob. Pierce Egan, in his "Life of an
Actor,"--which he dedicated to Edmund Kean--classes his performance of
this part, as giving him a title in the niche of fame beside John Kemble,
Mrs. Siddons, and all the great actors contained in his "Catalogues of
Parts Acted"--which can never be forgotten by those who witnessed them.
Here is the note, and will be found at page twelve of the work:--"The
personification of Dusty Bob, by the above actor, has been unanimously
decided by the public to be one of the greatest triumphs of the histrionic
art ever exhibited on any stage. The first tragedian of the day,[35] with
the utmost liberality, gave it as his opinion, that, during the whole
course of his theatrical life, he had never seen any performance equal to
it. Also, a comic actor of the greatest celebrity[36] exclaimed, 'Good
heaven! is it possible? Do my eyes deceive me? Most certainly it is a real
_dustman_ they have got upon the stage. I am very sorry the profession has
descended so low as to be compelled to resort to the streets to procure a
person of that description to sustain the character.' He left the body of
the theatre in utter disgust--nor was it until introduced to Mr. Walbourn
in person, behind the scenes, that he would believe it was an actor.
_Further praise than this is superfluous._"

Mr. Walbourn as "Dusty Bob," was drawn and engraved by George Cruikshank,
and sold, with other character-portraits, at the Adelphi Theatre. During
the long run of the piece, he exchanged one species of _hops_ for another,
as he gave up his business as a private and stage dancing-master, and took
the "Maidenhead" public-house at Battle Bridge. The house, previous to his
taking it was doing only a small trade; but, when he became the landlord,
and put out a spick-span new and a "not so dusty" sign of himself as
"DUSTY BOB," painted in oil by George Cruikshank, it drew together many of
the "Dusty" fraternity--and their doxies. After that, "Dusty Bob,"
together with "Black Sal," became to be bye words, as, near to the house,
was Smith's dust-yard, at which hundreds were employed, male and female.
But:--

  "A heap of dust alone remains of thee;
  'Tis all thou art, and all the proud shall be!"

[Illustration]


THE LITERARY DUSTMAN.

  My dawning genus fust did peep,
    Near Battle Bridge 'tis plain, sirs--
  You recollect the cinder heap,
    Vot stood in Gray's Inn Lane, sirs?[37]
  'Twas there I studied pic--turesque,
    Vhile I my bread vos yarning,
  And there, inhailing the fresh _breeze_,
    I sifted out my larnin'!
        They calls me Adam Bell, 'tis clear,
          (As Adam vos the furst man),
        And by a co--in--side--ance queer,
          Vy, I'm the fust of dustmen!--
                        A Literary Dustman!

The "Old Pub." of sixty years ago is now THE VICTORIA TAVERN, Great
Northern Railway. Maiden Lane is York Road, and Battle Bridge is known as
King's Cross, from a statue of George IV.--a most execrable
performance--taken down in 1842.

  Great sculptors all conwarse wi' me,
    And call my taste diwine, sirs--
  King George's statty at King's Cross
    Vas built from my design, sirs.
                      The Literary Dustman.

Besides the authors already mentioned. Tom Dibden, Farrell, and Douglas
Jerrold, each produced dramas upon the popular theme; and during the
seasons of 1821-2, "Life in London" was performed with great _eclat_, at
ten theatres in and around the metropolis, to overflowing houses. But
Pierce Egan at length became tired of the successes of the playwrights in
using his book, and resolved to try his own hand at a dramatic
version--or, as he termed it, "to take a leaf or two out of his own
book"--and the AUTHOR'S PIECE was "got up" and performed for the first
time at Sadler's Wells, under the respectable management of Mr. Egerton,
on Monday, April 8, 1822, with most decided success.

It was thus announced by Mrs. Egerton, in the address written for the
occasion by T. Greenwood, Esq.

  "To-night, my friends, this modern taste to meet,
  We show you JERRY at his country seat;
  Then up to town transport the rustic beau,
  And show him 'Life in London,' HIGH and LOW."


SADLER'S WELLS THEATRE.

Under the Direction of MR. EGERTON, of the Theatre Royal, Covent Garden,
Sole Proprietor.

The Brilliant Success, and increasing Attraction of PIERCE EGAN'S "TOM and
JERRY": not exceeded by any performance ever yet produced; and the
celebrated PONY RACES, exciting an interest equal to the RACE COURSE
ITSELF: being nightly performed to crowded Audiences, amidst Roars of
Laughter and Shouts of applause, will be repeated EVERY EVENING, at
half-past six o'clock precisely:--

The new Pedestrian, Equestrian, and Operatic Extravaganza: in Three
Acts--of Gaiety, Frisk, Lark, and Patter, called

TOM AND JERRY.

_Put into Shape, exclusively for this Theatre, by_ PIERCE EGAN.

Who trusts it will not be deemed unfair that he should take a LEAF or TWO
_out of his own_ BOOK, several other persons having made free with the
Work. The Piece now prepared for representation is not entitled to the
appellation of TRAGEDY, COMEDY, _Opera_, PLAY, _Farce_, BALLET, or
_Melodrama_, yet partaking of the Qualities _of all_, and possessing
scenes HIGH and LOW in abundance, from the "_Sky Parlour_" to the
"_Diamond Vault_." OUT _and_ OUT, Rambles and Sprees, East and West, and
Lots of Characters, UP and DOWN. A variety of _Swells_ but no DONS:
CORINTHIANS and COSTARD-MONGERS of many _Hues and Colours_: FLATS and
SHARPS without a _Note_--PINKS _and_ TULIPS, but no FLOWERS, yet always in
the _Hot Houses_: and HELLS _without_ DEVILS, only having _Black Legs_:
MUSLIN _and_ HOPSACKS, according as the _creatures_ wear them: the whole
forming a "BIT OF GOOD TRUTH," _en passant_, in a Review of LIFE IN
LONDON, developed by a precious TRIO, in the Persons of a
TOP-of-THE-TREE-HERO _Up_ and _Dressed_ in all _suits_: seconded by a
_slap-bang_ countryman, that neither _hedge_ nor _ditch_ baulk his
pursuits; and in unison with a _prime_ piece of LOGIC without PREMISES,
yet always so much at HOME, that LOCKE and BACON were muffs to him: also
representing the NOBLE, RESPECTABLE, MECHANICAL, and _Tag Rag_ and
_Bob-tail part of Society_, which constitute the CORINTHIAN CAPITAL, and
the _Base_ of the Pillar.

The Overture, with the New and Selected Music, by Mr. Nicholson. The
Scenes from Drawings taken on the spot, by Mr. Greenwood, assisted by Mr.
Milldenhall and others. The Sporting Subjects, by MR. GEORGE CRUIKSHANK,
from designs by himself and Brother, MR. I. R. CRUIKSHANK. The Quadrilles
and Country Dances, by Mr. Kirby. The Machinery, Platforms, and Race
Course, by MR. COPPING. Dresses by MR. TOWNLEY and MRS. BALDING.

  Corinthian Tom               Mr. Elliott.
  Jerry Hawthorn               Mr. Keeley.
  Bob Logic                    Mr. Vale.
  Dusty Bob                    Mr. Walbourn.
  African Sal                  Mr. Brady.
  Little Jemmy                 Mr. Cooper.
  Billy Waters                 Mr. Hartland.

To Start from the Winning Post on the Stage; Run three times Round the
Course.

Separate Matches, and afterwards for the GRAND SWEEPSTAKES.

PONY RACES.

Passing INTO AND ROUND THE Pit.

     _Ponies._                  _Colours._
  1.--The Corinthian            _Pink._
  2.--Bob Logic's Miss Sly      _Stripe._
  3.--Jerry's Never to be beat  _Blue._
  4.--Dusty Bob                 _Black._
  5.--Touch and-Go              _Blue and Pink._
  6.--The Out-and-Outer         _Scarlet._

  Stewards of the Race          LOGIC, TOM, and JERRY.
  Clerk of the Course           DUSTY BOB.

[Pointing Hand] The eagerness of several Ladies and Gentlemen to Promenade
the Course during the Race, having at times produced a temporary delay and
inconvenience, they are respectfully intreated to observe the directions
of the Clerk of the Course, who will attend with MRS. DUSTY BOB (_African
Sal_) in their _Carriage from Maiden Lane, Battle Bridge_, for the purpose
of preserving order.


[Illustration]

THE CORINTHIAN'S DIARY.

_A Celebrated Comic Song, written by_

T. GREENWOOD, ESQ.

And Sung by Mr. Vale, at Sadler's Wells Theatre, in the Character of BOB
LOGIC.

  SUNDAY, got _floor'd_, in _groggy_ plight,
    MONDAY, quite stale, took anti-bilious,
  Pester'd by nausea, nerves not quite right,
    And noisy _duns_ quite supercilious:
  A dish of Mocha, 'chovy toast,
    Remov'd the spasms--increased attrition,
  So started, when I'd skimm'd the _Post_,
    To TATTERSALL'S, in high condition.

  TUESDAY, got clean'd at _Rouge et Noir_,
    And, done quite brown, was forc'd to toddle;
  So then I vow'd to play no more,
    Lest, like a lame duck, I should waddle.

  WEDNESDAY, reflected; curs'd each star,
    Swore never more a card to handle:
  Went to the FIVES COURT, saw them spar,
    And patronis'd CRIBB, NEAT, and RANDALL.

  THURSDAY, _bowl'd_ down to ASCOT HEATH,
    To sport my _blunt_ upon the races:
  Rode my own mare almost to death,
    For I had won three steeplechases:
  Clean'd out again, I came away
    Quite undismay'd, though out of feather,
  At night I bolted to the play,
    To drown ill-luck and care together.

  Met with a _spree_, two glorious frays,
    So went to work--I hate long parleys;
  Kick'd up a row, then _starr'd_ the _glaze_,
    And _mill'd_, in style, a brace of _Charley's_:
  _Morris'd_ away to ALMACK'S ROOMS,
    Danc'd a quadrille, alert and showy,
  Call'd at the FINISH, mops and brooms,
    And tumbled to bed as drunk as Chloe.

  FRIDAY, I went to see dear NANCY,
    But found a _Covey_ there before me,
  Was forc'd to _bolt_, I'd lost my chance,
    But KATE, I knew, would still adore me:
  So off I set, stay'd SATURDAY,
    My comforts took, then home departed;
  Book'd for next week, with spirits gay,
    I for a fresh game, on SUNDAY started.




  SADLER'S WELLS.

  PIERCE EGAN,

  _The Author_ of
  TOM & JERRY; or,
  _Life in London_.

  Most respectfully informs the Public, and his
  numerous Friends in the Sporting World, that:

  (Before "all the GOLD _is taken off the_ GINGERBREAD,"
  being contented with a Small Slice of it,) his

  BENEFIT
  is fixed for
  Wednesday
  _The 25th September, 1822_.

  When a Variety Entertainment, will be performed, in which
  THE AUTHOR
  _Will make his First and only Appearance on this Stage, in a_
  PRINCIPAL CHARACTER.


  LIFE IN A SPREE.

  A Spree's the thing, with potent port made merry,
  "Go it BOB LOGIC," "Keep it up," cries JERRY.

The _Upper Story_ all abroad--Mr. Lushington at Work; and when the Wine is
in, the Wit is out--Ripe for any thing--How to make a Stop--Watch go--And
getting the best of the Timekeepers--Must make a noise in the World:--

  No way but this left to obtain renown,
  _Kick up a Row_, and knock the CHARLIE'S down!

    LIFE IN THE EAST.

    ALL-MAX ...... _A bit of good Truth!_

    Tickets not necessary--Any Port in a Storm--Never a Jack without a
    Jill--All happiness: no questions asked: and one half the world don't
    know how the other half lives--(_or dies!_)--No matter! Plenty of
    _Taste_--_Patter_ without ceremony--And not particular to a _shade_
    about _Lingo_. Spoting a _toe_ without a _shoe_, and no enquiry after
    the _Snob's_ Bill--_Reeling_ without _steps_--_Flooring_ instead of
    _Waltzing_, and nothing the matter. _Country_ or _colour_ no
    objection--_Ladies in mourning_ not prohibited--Black Sall don't blush
    for her appearance--And Dusty Bob not uneasy about his toggery--All
    the same ONE HUNDRED Years hence!--PHILOSOPHY.

    To prevent the trouble and fatigue of ascending the numerous Steps to
    the Author's SKY PARLOUR, (in Days of Yore, denominated a _Garret_, as
    well as Tumbling over lots of Kids,) Tickets to be had of Messrs.
    SHERWOOD, NEELY, and JONES, Paternoster Row; Office of the Weekly
    Dispatch, Wine Office Court, Fleet Street; at all the Sporting Houses;
    and Places for the Boxes can be taken of Mr. Parker, at the Box
    Offices, Sadler's Wells, from 10 till 4.

    Full Particulars will be duly Announced.

        BOXES 4s.       PIT 2s.       GALLERY 1s.

    Glendinning, Printer, 25, Hatton Garden, London.

Brighton, of course, in common with all other large provincial towns had
its version of "Life in London." The theatre was then under the management
of Mr. Samuel--or, as he was commonly known, Jerry Sneak Russell, from the
inimitable manner in which he personated that character in Foote's farce
of "The Mayor of Garrat." We have a copy of the play-bill before us, and
as we think the manager's remarks and the selection of criticisms are in
their way curious, we here append them, including the cast of characters:

  THEATRE ROYAL, BRIGHTON.
  LAST NIGHT BUT ONE.
  TOM AND JERRY.

In announcing the successful piece of "Tom and Jerry" for this evening,
the manager feels great satisfaction in being able to quote in its favour
the following observations from the critiques in the London and other
newspapers. "The scenery, dresses, &c., are good throughout, and much
credit is due to the manager for the style in which it is got up. It is
with pleasure we remark that this piece has been most judiciously freed
from the impurities of dialogue, which rendered it improper to meet the
delicate ear of the gentler sex. We therefore venture, without subjecting
ourselves to reproach, to recommend our readers to see 'Life in London,'
to witness an exposure of many impositions practised in real life, and be
made 'fly' (the plain English of _au fait_) to the _multum in parvo_
phrases which are now introduced into passing conversations."

"BRIGHTON.--The theatre at this place has just produced its 'Tom and
Jerry' with great success, and, we may say, deservedly--every
objectionable point that might be thought to infringe on decorum having
been most ingeniously suppressed, without any diminution of the whim and
fire of its varied and entertaining scenes. This regard to propriety
argues much discretion, and seems to meet the approbation of the _beau
monde_ resorting hither, for the theatre is graced with abundance of
fashion and beauty."

"The 'Tom and Jerry' of the Brighton Theatre has good scenery, good
acting, and, what in such a piece is perhaps still better, good and chaste
dialogue to recommend it; it has been cleansed of its impurities without
injuring its life and spirit. As thus represented, it cannot raise a blush
on the cheek of the most fastidious female."

On Wednesday Evening, September 12, 1822, will be reproduced the highly
popular and amusing Burletta of

TOM AND JERRY.

  Corinthian Tom                                 Mr. Power.
  Bob Logic                                      Mr. Chapman.
  Jerry Hawthorn                                 Mr. Russell.
  Squire Hawthorn                                Mr. Chambers.
  Tattersall                                     Mr. Mortimer.
  Yorkshire Cove                                 Mr. Hatton.
  Primefit                                       Mr. Julian.
  Bill Chaunt                                    Mr. Whatford.
  Dusty Bob                                      Mr. Starmer.
  Mr. Mace (Landlord of All Max in the East)     Mr. Jenkins.
  Billy Waters                                   Mr. Sheen.
  Mr. Muff                                       Mr. Collier.
  Gammoning Jack                                 Mr. Mills.
  Snoozy                                         Mr. Cole.
  Trifle                                         Mr. Dale.
  Little Jemmy                                   Master Williams.
  Chaffing Sam                                   Mr. Wiber.
  Tom Belcher                                    Mr. Jones.
  President of the Daffy Club                    Mr. Campbell.

  Huntsmen, Watchmen, Villagers, Cadgers, &c., &c.

  Corinthian Kate                                Miss M. Cooke.
  Hon. Mrs. Gadabout                             Mrs. Clarke.
  Patty Primrose                                 Miss Carr.
  Mary                                           Miss Cramer.
  Hon. Mrs. Trifle                               Miss Grosette.
  Fortune Teller                                 Mrs. Grosette.
  Mrs. Allright                                  Miss H. Grosette.
  African Sal                                    Miss Black.

Country Lasses, Ladies at Almack's in the West, &c., &c.; Prospectus of
Scenery, &c., &c., as before.

To conclude with the Romantic Melo-drama of

VALENTINE AND ORSON.

  Valentine          Mr. Power.
  Orson              Mr. S. Chapman.

Creasy, Printer, _Gazette Office_, Brighton.


The notoriety which Tom and Jerry obtained in England, became the topic of
conversation amongst our Gallic neighbours--nay, it crept so much into
favour with the gay folks of Paris, LIFE IN LONDON was speedily translated
into French, under the title of "The Diorama; or, Picturesque Rambles in
London--containing the most faithful _Notices of the Character, Manners,
and Customs of the English Nation_, in the various classes of Society. By
M. S----." The translation had a most extensive circulation in France.

The reception of Tom and Jerry was equally flattering--notwithstanding the
great prejudices that had previously existed against it--in Dublin. Mr.
Wrench, from the Adelphi Theatre, was specially engaged to play the part
of Corinthian Tom. The first seven nights produced L1300; and the house,
on Mr. Wrench's benefit night, held L345.

The great success of "Life in London," in its dramatic form in the Irish
capital lead up to the publication of:--

    "REAL LIFE IN IRELAND; or, the Day and Night Scenes, Rovings, Rambles,
    and Sprees, Bulls, Blunders, Bodderation, and Blarney of Brian Born,
    Esq., and his elegant friend _Sir Shawn O'Dogherty_. 1829. Coloured
    plates."

In which the pictorial style of the Brothers Cruikshank was imitated from
an Hibernian point of view and colouring.

At both the Theatres in Edinburgh, Tom and Jerry attracted crowded
audiences, according to the Editor of the _Edinburgh Dramatic Review_, who
states thus:--

"At length the public of Edinburgh had opportunity of judging of the
merits of the above celebrated Extravaganza. From the general tendency of
the remarks which appeared in the newspapers, we were led to suppose that
this piece consisted of indecency and gross vulgarity. From what we heard
reported as to the numerous indelicacies which this sketch of Fun, Frolic,
Fashion, and Flash contained, we were afraid that its success with our
sober citizens would have been precarious; but, we are happy to say, that
the applause which was bestowed on it by the unprecedentedly numerous
assemblage on Saturday evening, January 25, 1823, which crowded the
Caledonian Theatre, is a sufficient answer to the chimerical doubts which
were industriously circulated against its propriety. There is nothing, as
we before remarked, associated with disgust or offence. There is neither
one word, action, or situation, in the whole course of the piece, that can
possibly raise a blush, or offend the most fastidious moralist!"

The Burletta of TOM and JERRY had been repeated so often all over the
kingdom, and particularly in the metropolis, that the performers,
notwithstanding the great applause they nightly received in the above
piece, absolutely became tired and worn-out with the repetition of their
characters, when the following piece of satire, written by T. Greenwood,
Esq., was published, entitled, "The Tears of Pierce Egan, Esq., for the
Death of 'Life in London'; or, The Funeral of Tom and Jerry. Dedicated to
Robert and George Cruikshank, Esqs. Price Two Shillings, with an engraving
by George Cruikshank."

  "Beat out of the Pit, and thrown over the Ropes,
    TOM and JERRY resign'd their last breath,
  With them, too, expired the Manager's hopes,
    Who are left to deplore their sad death!

  "Odd and various reports of the cause are about,
    But the real one was _this_ I opine:
  They were run to a _standstill_, and, therefore, no doubt,
    That the cause was a rapid _decline_.

  "When death showed his _Nob_, out of _Time_ they were beat,
    And neither would come to the _scratch_;
  They hung down their heads and gave up the last heat,
    Not prepared with the Spectre to _match_.

  "All wept at the FUNERAL! the Fancy and all--
    Some new, but a great many mended:
  And EGAN, while CRUIKSHANK and _Bob_ held the pall,
    As _Chief Mourner_ in person attended!!!

  "Their _Sprees_ and their _Rambles_ no more shall amuse,
    Farewell to all nocturnal parleys:
  The Town felt regret, as the bell tolled the news,
    And no one rejoiced--but the _Charleys_!

  "A monument, too, their kind Patrons will raise,
    Inscribed on--'Here lies TOM and JERRY,
  Who, departing the _Stage_, to their immortal praise,
    ONE THOUSAND NIGHTS made the _Town merry_!!!'

  "May their souls rest in peace, since they've chosen to flit,
    Like other great heroes departed;
  May no mischief arise from their _sudden_ exit,
    Nor PIERCE EGAN die--_broken-hearted_!"

In reference to the above, Pierce Egan states that Jemmy Catnach, the
renowned Ballad-monger of the Seven Dials, in less than twelves hours
after the publication, produced a pirated edition for street sale, for
two-pence.

Mr. Pierce Egan, in his "_Finish_," states that he reckoned no less than
sixty-five separate publications, which he enumerates _in extenso_, all
derived from his own work, and adds, with his usual amount of large and
small CAPITALS and _italics_--"We have been _pirated_, COPIED, _traduced_;
but, unfortunately, not ENRICHED by our indefatigable exertions; therefore
NOTORIETY must satisfy us, instead of the smiles of FORTUNE. Our efforts
have given rise to numerous productions in the market of literature, yet
we can assert, with a degree of confidence hitherto unshaken, that none of
our _Imitators_ have dared to think for themselves during the long period
of seven years, neither have they shown any originality upon the subject
of 'LIFE IN LONDON'; but who have left it--_disinterested_ souls!--to the
Author and Artist to put a CLIMAX to the adventures of TOM, JERRY, and
LOGIC." The last remark is in reference to the publication of "PIERCE
EGAN'S FINISH to the Adventures of TOM, JERRY, and LOGIC, in their
Pursuits through LIFE IN AND OUT OF LONDON. With numerous coloured
illustrations by Robert Cruikshank. London: George Virtue & Co., Ivy Lane,
Paternoster Row." Seven years after the date of "The Life in London." In
common with almost all other sequels, or "continuations" it was not
successful--the fact being that Pierce Egan, and the subject of his work
were alike literally and financially "used up!"

Old Jemmy Catnach, true to his line of life, soon joined what Pierce Egan
designates as the "Mob of Literary Pirates" who irritate the poor author
almost to madness, blast his prospects, impose on the unwary by their
imitations, and render his cash account all but nugatory, and, just as he
may be congratulating himself on the success of his genius, receiving the
smiles of Fame, and a _trifling sweetener_ from Threadneedle Street, as a
reward for his exertions, he may be attacked by _Sappers_ and
_Miners_--those pickers and stealers who do not absolutely come under the
denomination of _pickpockets_, yet _thieves_ to all intents and purposes,
and, certainly, _robbers_ of the most unprincipled description--a set of
vampires--living upon "the brains" of other persons, and who dare not to
think for themselves.

Catnach brought out a broadside, or "whole-sheet," for street-sale,
entitled:--

    _LIFE IN LONDON_; OR, THE SPREES OF
    TOM AND JERRY; ATTEMPTED IN CUTS AND VERSE.

    [Illustration: TOM, JERRY, AND LOGICK IN A ROW.]

        MERCY! what a din and clatter
          Breaks the stillness of the night,
        Lamps do rattle--'tis a battle,
          Quick, and let us see the sight.

    NOTICE:--This is to give Notice to those persons who are in the habit
    of pirating my copyrights that if they dare to print any part of this
    Sheet, they shall be proceeded against according to Law. JAMES
    CATNACH.

    _EIGHTEENTH EDITION._

    LONDON: Printed & Sold by Jas. Catnach,
    2, Monmouth Court, 7 Dials, of whom may be had
    The Queen's Life, in Cuts & Verse.
    PRICE TWO PENCE.

The "broadside," which Pierce Egan calls--"Another wicked piracy, by
Catnach," consists of twelve woodcuts,--of which we have given
_facsimiles_ in our pages--it will be seen that they are reduced and very
roughly executed copies of the original plates by the Brothers Cruikshank,
but in reverse. Therefore the swaggering NOTICE TO PIRATES which Jemmy
Catnach published reads funny enough. The letter-press matter consists of
flash songs, and a poetical epitome of the plot and design of the original
work of "Life in London." And taking it as it stands, and from where it
emanated, rather a creditable performance, particularly when we take into
consideration--as duly announced by the street-patterer, that it
was--"Just printed and pub--lish--ed, all for the low charge of
"Twopence."

On the rarity of this Catnachian and piratical edition of "Life in London"
it is superfluous to enlarge, and it is easy to account for this
circumstance, if we reflect that the broadside form of publication is by
no means calculated for preservation; hundreds of similar pieces printed
at the "Catnach Press" and at other offices publishing for street-sale
must have perished. The more generally acceptable a broadside or
street-ballad became, and was handed about for perusal, the more it was
exposed to the danger of destruction. No copy of Catnach's version is
preserved in the British Museum, therefore, and for reason above stated,
it must be considered as a great "Literary Curiosity."[38]

[Illustration: OLD STAGE WAGGON.]

As we have before observed, "Life in London" was dedicated by permission
to George IV., and it is a circumstance in itself which looks singular
enough in this Victorian age, that royalty should have condescended to
have had such a work dedicated to it. One paragraph, which we are about to
quote, strikes us as being a very peculiar and free-and-easy style for an
author to address himself to a King of England. It is as follows:--

"Indeed, the whole chapter of 'Life in London' has been so repeatedly
perused by your Majesty in such a variety of shapes--from the elegant A,
the refined B, the polite C, the lively D, the eloquent E, the honest F,
the stately G, the peep-o'-day H, the tasteful I, the manly J, the good
K, the noble L, the stylish M, the brave N, the liberal O, the proud P,
the long-headed Q, the animated R, the witty S, the flash T, the knowing
U, the honourable V, the consummate W, the funny X, the musical Y, and the
poetical Z,--that it would only be a waste of your Majesty's valuable time
to expatiate further upon this subject."

One notable effect of "Life in London," particularly in its dramatised
form, must be recorded. It broke the heart of poor Billy Waters, the
one-legged musical negro, who died in St. Giles's workhouse, on Friday,
March 21, 1823, whispering with his ebbing breath, a mild anathema, which
sounded very much like: "Cuss him, dam Tom--mee--Tom--mee Jerry!"

Poor Billy endeavoured, up to the period of his last illness, to obtain
for a wife and two children what he termed, "An honest living by scraping
de cat-gut!" by which he originally collected considerable sums of money
at the West-end of the town, where his ribbon-decked cocked hat and
feathers, with the grin on his countenance, and sudden turn and kick out
of his wooden limb, and other antics and efforts to please, excited much
mirth and attention, and were well rewarded from the pockets of John Bull.
The burden of Billy's ditty "from morn to dewy eve," and from January to
December, was:--

  Polly will you marry me--Polly don't you cry,
  Polly will you marry me--Polly don't you cry:--
                                    Cry--cry--cry!

[Illustration]


[Illustration: BILLY WATERS.]

Mr. W. T. Moncrieff, the dramatist, is responsible for the following
biographical notice of this old London Street Character:--"Of this
meritorious and lamented individual, we had with great trouble collected
from various sources, an ample and interesting Biography. But
unfortunately for posterity, in the same classic regions where he lost his
life, _we_ also lost his life; and, to tell the truth under the influence
of the same seductive fluid too--_Daffy!_--we can therefore only present
our reader with a few brief notices from memory."

BILLY WATERS, was born in the powerful African kingdom of TONGOCONGOTABOO,
where he was a native Prince, and bore the name of POKIKOKIQUANKO; from
this place he was at an early age, to the universal regret of his loving
subjects, kidnapped, by 'an auld Quaker,' who bought him from his
treacherous attendants, for two axes, a frying-pan and a bag of nails.
This _black_ piece of business made him a slave, in the French settlement,
at Demarara, from whence however he speedly took _French leave_, and
entered, we believe, the British navy as a cook _par excellence_ on board
the Ganymede sloop of war, under the command of Sir John Purvis, where,
during a fierce engagement, he lost a leg, some say gallantly fighting the
enemies of old England, though others insinuate it was through falling
down the cockpit ladder, in his great hurry to hide himself. His own
version was that he fell from the top-sail yard to the quarter deck during
a storm, we cannot pretend to decide which was the fact, it however
occasioned his being sent to England, as unfit for service. Arriving in
London, he betook himself to that wild mode of life, which best suited his
origin; the trammels of civilized society, had no charm for him; he
scorned the mechanical rules of man, and picked up his living wherever he
could find it. Born a Prince, and bearing a native princeliness in his
appearance it is not to be wondered at that his associates should speedly
elect him to the regal dignity of their tribe.

In the year 1812 Billy was solemnly inauguared _ex cathedra_ into the
sovereignty of mendicityship--King of the Beggars--at the cellar of St.
Patrick in St Giles', a rank he supported with great satisfaction and
majesty, till the luckless period when a rival _Billy_ (BODKIN), by
being placed at the head of the mendicity society, virtually became King
of the Beggars in his own right. This--as he conceived it, cruel
usurpation by Bodkin, pricked Billy just a leetle too hard. From that
moment he drooped as a blighted _lily_, and like another black hero he
exclaimed--'Othello's occupation's gone.' The fickle British public
refused to be as liberal as they had been, which he attributed to the
production of "_Tom and Jerry_" with whom he was made to partake of:--

    "Shoulder of veal and garnish--Turkey and appendages--Parmesan and
    Filberts--Port and Madeira." Billy on hearing the above list given out
    as forming the "peck and booze for the evening," exclaimed "Dat dam
    goot, me like a de Madery--Landlord, here, you give this bag of broken
    wittals, vot I had give to me to day, to some genteel dog vot pass
    your door: and you make haste wid de supper, you curse devil you."

    _Enter_ LANDLORD _with Supper_.

    _Landlord._ Now, your honours, here's the rum peck, here's the supper.

    _Billy._ Eh, de supper! de supper! come along. (_After striking_
    CREEPING JACK _on the fingers with a knife_) you damn nasty dog! what
    for you put yur dirty fingers in de gravy? you call dat gentlemans?
    you want your fingers in de pie, now you got him dere!

    _Jack._ I only wish'd to taste the stuffining.

    _Billy._ And now you taste de carver knife instead! (_Takes candle,
    and looks at supper_). Vy, what him call dis?

    _Landlord._ Why the turkey and the pie, to be sure.

    _Billy._ De turkey and de pie! I tink you said de turkey and de
    pie,----what! de turkey widout de sassinger! him shock----him wouldn't
    give pin for turkey widout dem----me like a de Alderman in chain.

    _Landlord._ I'm very sorry, Mr. Waters, but----

    _Billy._ You sorry!----I sorry for my supper, you damn dog, you serve
    up de turkey without de sassinger--no lemon to de weal--no hoyster
    saase to de rum'-steaks, who you tink eat rum'-steaks widout de
    hoyster saase? You send no filberts to de Port, nor debils to de
    Madery nather. Mee must use some other hot-hell--you dog.

However, by a combination of events, Billy became very poor, and was
obliged, prior to his going into the workhouse, to part with his old
friend, the fiddle.--"Him lend him ole fiddle to him uncle at de pop
shop," and the wooden _pin_ (leg) which had so often supported Billy,
would have shared the same fate, but its extensive service had rendered it
worthless though it had twice saved poor Billy from the penalties of the
_Treadmill_. At length, in the full belief that his spirit was about to
flee to meet his coloured ancestors in the realms of bliss and a free
hunting ground, he duly made his will, in which he bequeathed to W.
Bodkin, Esq,--_Billy Bodkin_, the Hon. Sec. to the Mendicity Society: a
bodkin that had so often pierced Billy to the heart--his wooden leg,
earnestly desiring he might receive it in his _latter end_.

In life he had been accustomed to wear a military cocked hat, a judge's
full-bottomed cauliflower wig, and a naval officer's jacket and trousers,
symbolical of his being the head and arbiter of the naval, military, and
judicial departments in his eleemosynary kingdom, these he bequeathed in
the following manner: His _wig_ he left to the COURT OF CHANCERY, in the
vague hope that they might obtain with it a little of his decision in
equity, and promptness in justice. His _military hat_ he left to the HEADS
of the HORSE GUARDS, and his _naval jacket_ and _trousers_ to the _old
washerwomen_ that manage the GREENWICH HOSPITAL. The DEAL FIDDLE, on which
he had been used to scrape his _native_ WOOD _notes wild_, we are happy to
state, was taken out of lavender, and is now in the possession of the
TYBURN _Ketch_ and Glee Club--the duplicate having been bequeathed to them
for that purpose.

In conclusion we have only to state, that Billy was an accomplished
cadger, a skilful musician, and adroit dancer--doing more on one leg than
many others on two, and possessed abilities that as an actor would have
rendered him a _shining_ ornament to the stage--"to hold, as t'were, the
mirror up to nature; to show virtue her own feature, scorn her own black
_image_!"

[Illustration]

Billy was considered of sufficient public importance, when in the _flesh_,
to be moulded and well _baked_ by a Potter, who taking up and moistening a
lump of clay, said, "_Be ware!_" and then turned Billy out in one of his
happiest moods and positions, with a broad grin on his black _mug_--a
perfect _image_, suitable for a chimney or sideboard ornament; which found
a ready sale at the time of its manufacture, but has now become very rare
in perfect condition, and, much coveted by collectors to add to their
Class, or Section of "ENGLISH CHARACTERS." Specimens of this style of ware
are exhibited in the Bethnal Green Museum, London. Henry Willett, Esq. of
Brighton, also exhibits his fine collection of the same class of ware at
the Brighton Free Public Library.

LINES ON BILLY WATERS.

BY W. REEVES, _June, 1823_.

  Peace to the manes of Black Billy Waters,
    Well-known throughout the Town!
  The reason that he left these quarters--
    Is plain--He was by Death done _brown_.

  His life was one continu'd round
    Of pleasure and of glee;
  His fiddle caus'd the hearts to bound
    Of children as big as me.

  _Mags_ came thick, this made him merry;
    Fortune changes in a crack--
  Folks they went t'see Tom and Jerry,
    And on Billy turn'd their back.

  Justice, at length, seiz'd on poor Bill,
    Who quickly took his _peg_ off;
  So they didn't send him to the _Mill_,
    'Cause, why? he'd got a leg off.

  His day was o'er, he soon found out
    Poverty with rapid stride
  Follow'd him, and clamor's shout
    Meant poor Billy to deride.

  In vain he fiddl'd, danc'd and sung,
    Until he was out of breath;
  Starving he was, his bow unstrung,
    Till he danc'd--_The Dance of Death_.


[Illustration: LITTLE JEMMY.]

The real name of this notorious street-character was Andrew Whiston. He
was a born cripple, and in every respect a most miserable object of
charity. Moncrieff imported him into his Adelphi version of "Tom and
Jerry; or, Life in London," as "Little Jemmy," and there figures in the
SCENE: _Back Slums in the Holy Land_: in company with Mr. Jenkins, Soldier
Suke, Dingy Bet, Creeping Jack, Billy Waters, Ragged Dick, and other
well-known characters.--_Vide_ page 46.

For many years Andrew, _alias_ "Little Jemmy," had been in the habit of
propelling himself about the streets of London in a little truck, or box
on wheels, assisted by the aid of two small crutches. He always wore a
white apron to conceal the deformity of his legs, which were curved, and
had the appearance of thin planks, having no calves.

To avoid the penalties attached to begging and vagrancy he usually carried
a few quill pens stuck in his coat and apron; declaring it to be the only
trade to which he had been brought up, whence he was called _The
Penmaker_! He has been heard to acknowledge he derived as much in his
perambulations through the streets as amounted to L2 per week. It was his
custom every morning to cross over Blackfriars Bridge for the purpose of
gathering alms. He always prided himself as _leader_ of the "_Cadgers_,"
in the metropolis, and was one of the most dissipated of the class to
which he belonged; never returning to the hovel, in which he took up his
abode, in the Borough, except in a state of intoxication. In his fits of
inebriety, when at a distance from home, and incapable of proceeding, he
was generally picked up by some of the numerous coalheavers, residing in
the same quarter of the town, and carried to his dwelling on their
shoulders; this, from his diminutive stature, was no very difficult task
to perform.

On the night of his death, which occurred Monday, April 3, 1826, he had
been drinking spirits, and porter, during the day, and was as usual
carried home by two men; for which they were to receive a pot of beer. On
setting down their burden, the unfortunate man--who had been conveyed with
his head downwards, was discovered to be in a dying state. Surgical
assistance was immediately procured, but poor "_Little Jemmy_," was quite
dead ere it arrived. Information of his death was given at 11 o'clock to
the night constable of St. Saviour's Parish, who proceeded to the house,
the inmates of which refused to give up the body, on the ground that their
late lodger died in their debt a month's rent. Another strong reason for
their refusal in delivering up the corpse, was a report that prevailed in
the neighbourhood, that the surgeons of both the hospitals in the Borough
had offered no less a sum than L100 for the body after death, for the
purpose of dissection, in consequence of its extraordinary formation. The
constable, however, claimed the body of the deceased, as none of his
relations were on the spot, and conveyed it away to the watch-house,
clearly perceiving that if it was left behind, the inmates would dispose
of it to the highest bidder.

On Friday, April 7, an inquest was held at the Rose and Ball public-house,
Bankside, Southwark, before R. Carter, Esq. Upon the return of the jury
after viewing the body, all of whom expressed their astonishment at the
decrepitude and peculiar formation of the singular little man. The surgeon
in attendance having described the death to have occurred in consequence
of apoplexy. The jury brought in a verdict in accordance with the medical
evidence that the deceased died of "APOPLEXY."

The day after the inquest sat on the body it was conveyed to St. Saviour's
Burial ground, and interred in a grave dug 14 feet in depth from the
surface, over which were placed three other coffins, in order to secure it
against the resurrection-men, who were anxious to have the corpse to
dispose of.

Subsequently to the death of BILLY WATERS, the notorious black mendicant
fiddler--March, 1823; "LITTLE JEMMY" acquired the soubriquet of The King
of the Beggars.

[Illustration]




The Tread-Mill at Brixton.


[Illustration]

In the year 1817, Mr.--afterwards Sir William--Cubitt, of Ipswich, erected
a Tread-Mill at Brixton Gaol--and soon afterwards in other large prisons,
as a species of _preventive punishment_, which excited much attention and
terror to evil doers, and proved eminently useful in decreasing the number
of commitments; the strict discipline had a most salutary effect upon the
prisoners not easily to be forgotten. Yet, the inventor's name gave rise
to many jokes on the subject among such of the prisoners who could laugh
at their own crimes, who said that they were now punished by the _cubit_!

In nearly all the new and fa--vour--ite comic songs of the day allusion
was made to the TREADMILL OF BRIXTON as--_The Everlasting Stairs!--The
Stepping Mill!--The New Dancing Academy! &c._ A street-ballad on the
subject was issued from the "Catnach Press" and had a most unprecedented
sale, keeping the pressmen and boys working for weeks:--

  "And we're all treading, tread, tread, treading,
  And we're all treading, at fam'd Brixton Mill."

The following punning ditty was very popular at the period:--

THE TREADMILL.

  This Brixton Mill's a fearful ill,
    And he who brought the Bill in,
  Is threatn'd by the _cribbing_ coves,
    That he shall have a _milling_.
  They say he shew'd a simple pate,
    To think of felons mending:
  As every _step_ which here they take,
    They're still in crime _ascending_.

  And when releas'd, and in the streets
    Their former snares they're spreading,
  They swear 'tis Parliament, which wills
    They must their old ways _tread in_.
  The Radicals begin to think
    'Twill touch the Constitution,
  For as the _wheel_ moves round and round,
    It brings a _Revolution_.

  But though these snarlers show their teeth,
    And try to vex the nation,
  Their actions soon are _tried_ and _judg'd_,
    And _grinding_ is their station.
  The _Gambling swells_ who near St. James'
    Have _play'd_ their double dealings,
  Say 'tis not fair that Bow-street should
    Thus _work_ upon their feelings.

  Tom, Jerry, Logic, three prime sprigs,
    Find here they cannot _come_ it,
  For though their _fancy_ soars aloft,
    They ne'er will reach the _summit_.
  Corinthian Kate and buxom Sue
    Must change their _warm_ direction,
  For if they make one _false step_ more
    They'll have _Cold Bath Correction_.

  The moon-struck youths who haunt the stage,
    And spend their master's siller,
  Must here play to another tune,
    'Tis called the _Dusty Miller_.
  Ye bits of blood (the watchman's dread)
    Who love to floor a _Charley_,
  As you delight to strip and fight,
    Come forth and _mill_ the _barley_.

  _John Barleycorn's_ a stout old blade,
    As every man puts trust in,
  And you will make no _meal_ of him,
    But he'll give you a _dusting_.
  But here we'll stay, for _puns_ they say,
    Are bad as stealing purses
  And I to _Brixton_ may be sent,
    To _grind_ some _floury verses_.

[Illustration: GOING TO THE MILL!]


THE WARNING.

_Supposed to have been sung by a Cadger to his Companions on his Return
from "The New Dancing Academy," Brixton._

_Tune._--"BOW WOW, &C."

  You Cadgers all, both great and small,
    Attend to vat I say, Sirs,
  All prigging stow, or you vill go
    Where I com'd from to day, Sirs.
  As down the Strand, a Gent so grand,
    Was strutting, mighty fine, Sirs,
  His hankercher hung out so fur,
    I really thought 'twas mine, Sirs.
                                  Tol de rol, &c.

  I made a grab--he did me nab,
    To quod I quick vas taken;
  The magistrate he sat in state:
    I trembl'd for my bacon.
  Evidence o'er--oh vhat a bore!--
    His eyes on me he fix'd on;
  Says he to me, "Go, have a spree
    At the _Treading Mill at Brixton_."
                                  Tol de rol, &c.

  Vhen I reach'd there, a surly bear,
    The steps he bid me mount, Sirs--
  From Dirty Dick, up to the kick,
    Ve'd a swelling black legg'd Count, Sirs.
  Both high and low, they have a go:
    Oh! 'tis a decent pill, Sirs.
  They step avay, and cry all day,
    "The devil take the Mill, Sirs."
                                  Tol de rol, &c.

  Then varning take, and keep avake,
    For _Traps_ are not asleep, Sirs;
  They prowl about, to find us out,
    Like volves do after sheep, Sirs.
  My life I'll change--don't think it strange,
    I'll vork, that's vat I vill, Sirs,
  Both night and day, to keep away
    From the curs'd _Treading Mill_, Sirs,
                                  Tol de rol, &c.


In the Adelphi version of "Tom & Jerry," there is as follow:--

_Black Slums in the Holy Land._

_Mr. J._ Does any gemmen understand these here Tread Mills, that have
lately got such a footing?

_Jack._ Silence! Gemmen: I'm a-going to make a hobservation, Mr. Jenkins
means them there Mills as makes you vork vether there's any vork or no--I
can only say this here, gemmen, if them there Mills are encouraged, it
von't be vorth no body's vile to exercise vone's calling--because, vy, von
may as vell go and vork for vone's living at once--but the subject von't
bear not no thinking on.

_Omnes._ Not by no means. (_General groans_).

_Billy Waters._ Oh, curse a de Tread Mill, me no like a de "here we go up,
up, up," and "down you go down, down, down,"--an' if you no work, a great
big lump of wood come and knock you down so--(_Strikes beggar on head with
his fiddle, who falls down_). Poor fellow, him werry sorry.

[Illustration]


_Tom and Jerry; or, Life in London._

TUNE.--"Picture of a Playhouse."

  Of Life in London, Tom, Jerry, and Logic I sing,
  'Tis a subject (I hope it will please)
  Men and boys in my ears long time they did ding,
  So I determined to risk a good squeeze--
  To the Strand then I toddled--the mob it was great--
  My watch I found gone--pockets undone:
  I fretted, at first, and rail'd against fate,
  For I paid well to see "Life in London."

_Spoken._-"La, vel now, if I a'n't all of a perspiration,--positively, I'm
in a _melting_ mood;" this was uttered by a tallow chandler's fat wife.
Her hubby, Mr. Wicks, cries out "What the devil are you talking about
_melting_?--for my part, I hate mention of business when I'm out on
pleasure." "Come, don't be _dipping_ in my pocket, if you please, Sir."
"Vat, vat is de matter?" "Wat! who's talking of wats?" "Vy, my dear Mr.
Vicks, I think this man's making a reticule of me." "By the powers! it is
a very fortunate circumstance he be making a reticule for you, Ma'am, for
that there young man, in the drab great coat, has just cut yours from the
chain, and put it in his pocket." "Mind what you're arter, mind your
pockets." "Where are you pushing to?" "Where am I pushing to? I'm pushing

          To see Tom and Jerry,
          The lads who delight in
          A bottle of Sherry
          And watch to be fighting,
          For that's the time o' day.

  In the course of the piece is the parlour of Cribb,
  There they chaunted their songs full of glee;
  In the chair sits blythe Tom, he's the real boy to fib,
  And he's also the boy for a spree.
  The street-row comes next, and is kept up so well,
  That I laugh'd and never wish'd the fun done,
  Those who play Charlies, I'm sure they can tell
  What a street-row is in fam'd London.

_Spoken._--"La! now, is this not a delightful picture of life! how do you
like it, my dear?" "Oh Mamma, I likes it very well, only one thing is, I'm
sorry I didn't bring some hapennies out of my money-box, to give the poor
beggar-people." "Dear little innocent!" "Was you innocent when you was
little, Mamma?" "Yes, my love." "But, are you innocent now, Mamma?" "Why,
yes--that is to say--as most women of my age are, my dear." "Well. Mr.
O'Quiz, how do you like the piece?" "Faith, now, the piece is very well,
only one thing." "And what may that be, pray?" "Why, I'm not inclined to
make any objection at all, at all: but, by my soul! this is the first time
I ever saw or heard of Life in St. Giles's, without an Irishman being
concerned in it." "Hollo! what is all this hubbubboo?" "Why, it's the half
price, pushing in

To see Tom and Jerry, &c.

  High life and low life are correctly pourtrayed
  At Almack's, I mean both the East and the West.
  The actor's look life, they so well are arrayed,
  But the Back Slums to my mind is surely the best.
  Logic a party invites to give them a treat,
  The bailiff comes in and Bob's undone;
  He by Nab'em is _press'd_ and ta'en to the _Fleet_,
  Which brings to a close Life in London.

_Spoken._--The piece being over, there's a grand rush to the doors: then,
hey for the pleasures of a soaking wet night. "Well, positively, 'pon
honor, if it does'nt rain; its enough to make any one _cross_ when one's
going out to a _ball_." "Want a coach your honor?" "Yes, drive me to _St.
Paul's_." "What, in the name of St. Patrick, can he want at the _cross_
and _ball_ of _St. Paul's_ at this time of night?" "Oh! bless my soul! I
think I've broken my leg." "Coach to Cripplegate." "I say, look at that
Cove diving at that Gent's pocket." "I hope you'll excuse me, but I've got
a cold, therefore want my hankerchief; but, as you're so fond of _diving_,
I'll accommodate you--the Thames is near, and you shall have a dam'd good
_ducking_." "All right, Coachee." "Watch! Watch!" "Hark! the Pianos
going." "Watch! Watch!" "What's the row?" "Oh! only some fancy Lads, who,
having seen the Charlies well mill'd inside, have already commenced
milling them outside, and the word with them is

We're like Tom and Jerry, &c.


The following ballad is from the "Catnach Press:"--

_PIERCE EGAN; OR, LIFE IN LONDON._

Written by a Corinthian, and sung in Prime Twig by an Out-and-Outer.

    In the country, our squire
      Had a very large book,
    Which into my hands
      I quite often had took;
    Life in London, I think,
      Were the name that it had,
    And 'twas wrote by Pierce Egan,
      That comical lad.
  Oh, Pierce Egan! knowing Pierce Egan,
  You must in your time have seen wonderful fun.

    When I first came from country
      Into this great town,
    I laugh'd at each joke
      As I walked up and down;
    Till three fellows I met,
      They were bold as could be;
    And Tom, Jerry, and Logic,
      Say they, you now see.
        Oh, Pierce Egan! &c.

    At night, in the street,
      You are sure of a row,
    And the Charlies are bother'd
      I cannot tell how;
    But if to the watch-house
      The chaps be all taken,
    You'll find Egan's heroes
      To be there, sure as bacon.
        Oh, Pierce Egan &c.

  E'en the boys in the street
    Do talk flash, you must know,
  And the real out-and-outers
    Do strut to and fro;
  While a _gemmen_ in powder
    From none will retreat,
  But will _peel_, a coal-heaver,
    Or dustman to beat.
      Oh, Pierce Egan! &c.

  And since Life in London
    Has been all the rage,
  There's nothing else now
    That will do for the stage;
  And parsons, and tailors,
    And barbers likewise
  Go to Spring, Cribb, or Belcher,
    To learn to black eyes.
      Oh, Pierce Egan! &c.

  But this I must say
    To my friends in this place,
  That _chaffing_ and _milling_
    Does puppies disgrace;
  And if they would know
    How such knaves may be undone,
  They'll read that same book
    Which is called Life in London.
      Oh, Pierce Egan! &c.

J. Catnach, Printer, 2, Monmouth Court, 7 Dials.


[Illustration: THE LAST CHARLEY.]

"Pity the sorrows of a poor old man."

  St. Giles's clock had sounded two,
    The moon was on the wane,
  And bitterly the north wind blew;
    In torrents fell the rain.

  When like a goblin from the grave,
    A ghastly form appear'd,
  And thrice a grievous groan it gave,
    Thrice scratch'd its grisly beard.

  Tall, wretched, shiv'ring, pale and thin,
    It brav'd the pelting storm,
  Without an upper Benjamin
    To keep the carcase warm.

  Prostrate upon the flags it lay,
    Where Seven Dials meet;
  And "Och!" it cried, "is this the way
    A jontleman to treat?

  "I soon must haste to join the throng
    On Pluto's dreary coast--
  I've given up my _spirits_ long,
    Now I'll give up the _ghost_.

  "Yes! I must go, at fate's command,
    In Charon's ferry boat,
  And change the _rattle_ in my hand
    For _rattles_ in my throat.

  "That rattle which the prigs to catch
    Would other Charleys bring,
  _Watchmen_, we know, are like a _watch_--
    Nothing without a _spring_.

  "My lanthorn!--and the thought, I vow,
    The sob of sorrow draws;
  No _lanthorn_ can I carry now,
    Except my _lanthorn jaws_.

  "With grief unfeign'd my heart is big--
    The power of utterance fails,
  And losing thee, my old _Welsh_ wig,
    This tortur'd heart be-_Wails_.

  "My night-cap red, which this poor head
    Hath screen'd from damp and dew,
  Like my poor cap, I've lost my _nap_,
    And I am _worsted_ too.

  "Snug in my _box_ I bore the shocks
    Of drunkard's jeer and scoffing;
  Now the vile _cough_ will take me off,
    And _box_ me in a _coffin_.

  "To thee, my pipe, my bosom yearns--
    Those moments, free from pain,
  In which I sat and smok'd _returns_,
    Will ne'er _return_ again.

  "This New Police has laid me flat--
    Let Christian hearts condole;
  And in the mud they _roll_ poor _Pat_,
    Who once was a _Patrol_.

  "Och! when I think of former years,
    It almost drives me crazy;
  Bear up, my sowl--be dry, my tears--
    My throbbing heart be azy.

  "Once I was young, but now I'm owld,
    Once full of fun and frisky--
  But now I shudder with the cowld
    And the devil a drop of whisky!"

  He spoke, and sadly gaz'd around
    (The last words he could utter),
  Then with a mournful _guttural_ sound,
    Roll'd headlong in the _gutter_.

  Printed by T. BIRT,     10, Great St. Andrew-Street,
  (wholesale and retail,)     Seven Dials, London.

  Country Orders punctually attended to.
  Every description of Printing on the most reasonable terms,
  Children's Books, Battledores, Pictures, &c.


[Illustration]

THE SPREES OF TOM, JERRY AND LOGIC;

_A New Song, of Flash, Fashion, Frolic, and Fun._

  Come all ye swells and sporting blades who love to see good fun,
  Who in the dark, to have a lark, a mile or two would run;
  Here's a dish of entertainment which cannot fail to please,
  The rigs of Tom and Jerry, and all their jolly sprees.
    With their dash along, flash along, to Life and London haste away,
    Where sprees and rambles, larks and gambols, is the time of day.

  From Hawthorn-Hall young Jerry came to see his cousin Tom,
  And with his friend Bob Logic acquainted soon became,
  Then to cut a dash, he learns the flash, to act high life and low,
  And up and down through all the town at night they rambling go.

  In a morning at Tattersall's you may them often see,
  'Mong jockies, grooms, and chaunters, a knowing company;
  In the afternoon they're lounging in Burlington Arcade,
  And at night they're at the Opera, Ball, or Masquerade.

  Among the milling kiddy coves young Jerry took delight,
  And was always first to raise a purse to have a glorious fight.
  A Fancy blade he then became, and his courage ran so high,
  That in his room, he floor'd his groom, and black'd his valet's eye.

  Then off to Leicester-fields they'd march, the Strand, or Drury-lane
  Among the sporting ladies to carry on the game,
  They'd take them to a gin-shop and treat them round so civil,
  Then spur them on to fight and scratch each other like the devil.

  While rambling up and down one night they came to Temple-Bar,
  And to have a spree, they did agree, 'gainst the Charlies to make war,
  Then in the twinkling of an eye a watch-box was upset,
  The Watchy roar'd till all was blue, but out he could not get.

  They smash'd their lanterns, kick'd their shins, and did their pipkins
        crack,
  And laid them down so neatly one by one upon their backs,
  The prigs and sporting ladies all joined in the row,
  But Jerry, Tom, and Logic by the pigs [watchmen] were ta'en in tow.

  Then to the Holy Land they went disguis'd from top to toe,
  To see the Beggar's Opera where all the Cadgers go,
  With Mahogany Bet they had a lark, Black Moll, and Dumpling Kate,
  And treated all the apple-women with a yard of tape [gin].

  Now, with your leave good folks I will conclude my flashy song,
  I hope you're entertained, and I've not detain'd you long,
  And Logic, Tom, and Jerry, do cordially unite,
  To thank you for your patronage, and wish you all Good Night.

  With their dash along, &c.

  LONDON:
  Printed by J. CATNACH, 2 Monmouth Court, 7 Dials.
  Battledores, Lotteries, and Primers sold cheap.
  Travellers and Shopkeepers supplied with Sheet Hymns. Patter and Slips.
  Songs as Cheap and Good as any Shop in London. Where an
  Immense number of songs are always ready.
  [Pointing Hand] Cards, &c., Printed cheap.


I'M A CONSTABLE IN MY OWN RIGHT.

  I'm a Constable in my own right,
    I think that I am of some use;
  A searching by day and by night;
    Correcting of every abuse.
  I carries my staff in my hand,
    My power to let the folks see;
  I'm certain all over the land
    There's no one so busy as me.
                        And I'm a Constable, &c.

  A Beggar I know by his rags,
    A thief I can tell by his looks;
  My eyes and my nose never flags,
    I puts 'em down in my black books;
  The blind beggars when they sees me
    A coming ne'er stops to stand still;
  Tho' ever so lame, they walk free,
    Or else they would walk to the mill.
                        For I'm a Constable, &c.

  The Publicans all are polite,
    As soon as they sees me come in,
  They press, and entreat, and invite
    To choose of rum, brandy, or gin;
  But from me they gets a rebuff,
    The offer I always decline;
  I scorns to take such vile stuff,
    As I never drinks nothing but wine.
                        And I'm a Constable, &c.

  The Watchmen don't dare go to sleep,
    They knows they'd be fined if they do;
  Round with the Patroles I creep,
    Each morning between one and two.
  The Patrole's don't like it, 'tis true,
    But of me they all are afraid,
  And I'm resolved my duty to do,
    For I know there's some cash to be made.
                        For I'm a Constable, &c.

  Old women who sits with the fruit,
    Had better not come in my claw;
  I pulls 'em up----won't let 'em do't,
    Because 'tis contrary to law:
  Such nuisances ought to be fin'd
    And I get a share of the pelf;
  My trouble I never don't mind,
    'Cause I keeps a green-grocer's myself.
                        And I'm a Constable, &c.

  The Watch-house owns me for its king,
    I reigns there without a control;
  If any blackguards they bring,
    I sends 'em down to the black hole;
  But if a gentleman gets drunk, so free,
    And is brought in----mayhap for a whim
  If he behaves genteel to me,
    Why I behaves genteel to him.
                        For I'm a Constable, &c.

  When I sits in my chair of a night,
    Should any unfortunate _gals_
  Be brought in, I thinks it but right
    To commit 'em along with their pals.
  The Toms and the Jerrys I hooks,
    And takes them to Bow Street, next day;
  Tho' when very sorry they looks,
    I lets them off if they can pay.
                        For I'm a Constable, &c.

  The butchers' and chandlers' shops,
    What used to be serving o' Sunday,
  So shockingly wicked, I stops;
    I pulls them all up on the Monday,
  I shows no favours to none,
    My labours they seem to prove double,
  And thinks before I have done,
    I shall save Mr. Johnson some trouble.
                        For I'm a Constable, &c.

  Our Parish has got a bad plan,
    'Tis always to quarrel and storm;
  I'm sure I shall do all I can
    To bring on a speedy reform:
  Our Overseers are all quite strange,
    And that any body may see;
  It would make a most wonderful change,
    If they all were as busy as me.
                        For I'm a Constable, &c.

  LONDON:
  Printed by GOLD and WALTON, Wardour Street, Oxford Street,
  For T. Hudson, Kean's Head, Russell Court, Drury Lane,
  1828.


  When again shall we THREE meet,
  Amongst the _Swells_ in Regent Street?
  Come soon, my boy--come with glee,
  For lots of FUN--another _Spree_!

With respect to the publication of LIFE IN LONDON; or, the Day and Night
Scenes of Tom and Jerry. The proverbial everybody seems for the _nonce_ to
have been pleased with the work. The thirty-six scenes from Real Life,
designed and etched by the Brothers Cruikshank had much to do with its
success, and everybody seems to have made a great deal of money out of the
circumstance--save and except the author, Pierce Egan, for he very loudly
and frequently, and also "_cry-baby-like_," declared _inter alia_, that he
received--"more of the kicks than the halfpence" by reason of the
_Pirates_ and _Thieves_ being ever on the alert to _prig_ his thoughts and
ideas, and that the whole crew of them united to _grab_ all the "_lively
things!_" out of his head, and so render the "cash account" at his bankers
all but nugatory. Then--"came the cry of immorality, so loudly raised by
the Actor's old rivals the Religious Tract Society, the Methodists, and
other sectarian parties." Yet, in spite of all that could be said or sung
in the matter Pierce wrote that--"he was _too game_ to be made a _dummy_
of: therefore he was determined _to take the leap_, and have another
"_shy-up_," and go "_double or quits_," with that supreme goddess of the
gods FAME!!! and try his luck once more in the field of literature and
announced the publication of his new work _The Finish_ thus:--

THE AUTHOR TO THE READERS OF LIFE IN AND OUT OF LONDON.

After the lapse of Seven Years the Author has once more seized hold of the
_feather_, and the Artist his _pencil_, with an earnest endeavour to
follow the advice of our immortal bard, or rather adopt him as a model,
"nothing to extenuate, or set down aught in malice!" and:--

                                  To hold as 'twere
  The Mirror up to Nature; to show Virtue her own feature,
  Vice her own image, and the very age
  And body of the Time, its form and pressure.

Then thus it is--the "glorious uncertainty" of pleasing every class of
society respecting a knowledge of LIFE IN LONDON being essential towards
the improvement of the junior branches of mankind; and although contrary
to the established and sapient rules of the College of Physicians, and the
practice pursued by our learned friends in Westminster Hall, we are,
nevertheless, anxious to give advice without a fee, in order to prove
that, in all cases, whether connected with youth or more mature age,
PREVENTION is much better than CURE; indeed, so anxious are we to set
ourselves right with the public, as to our future intentions respecting
this work, and that we may see our way clearly, and tread on the firmest
ground, we feel inclined to adopt the latin proverb so often quoted by BOB
LOGIC to the unsuspecting JERRY, on his first arrival in the metropolis:--

  _Incidit in Scyllam qui vult vitare Charybdim._

The necessity is absolute; or, rather, an apology is required for the
introduction of the Author and Artist to the notice of reader, previous to
the second appearance of those heroes--CORINTHIAN TOM, LOGIC and JERRY, on
the great theatre of the world! _pour quoi?_ to vindicate the characters
of the Author and Artist from unmerited aspersion of having attempted, by
the joint efforts of real tales, original anecdotes, and animated
sketches, to demoralize the rising generation; and likewise to refute the
charge of having turned the heads of older folks towards the commission of
acts of folly and intemperance enough! To our task----"Hark forward's the
word, see the game is in view!" and our exertions will be vigorously
directed to establish, if possible. "_Tache sans tache._" Our principal
aim being to realize, to the utmost extent, the attractive motto:--

  PRO BONO PUBLICO!

  Proceed, my boy, nor heed their further call,
  Vain his attempts who strives to please you all!


  THE _FINISH TO THE ADVENTURES_
  OF TOM, JERRY, AND LOGIC,
  In their Pursuits through
  LIFE IN AND OUT OF LONDON,
  BY PIERCE EGAN.

  With numerous Coloured Illustrations by
  ROBERT CRUIKSHANK.

  [Illustration]

  London:
  George Virtue and Co.,
  Ivy Lane,
  Paternoster Row.

The _Finish_ to Life in London is embellished with thirty six
illustrations by Robert Cruikshank, and contains XV. CHAPTERS of
letter-press matter. Tom, Jerry and Logic are again brought on the scene,
and several additional characters are introduced into the work, notably
_Sir_ John Blubber, _Knt._, a second Falstaff, without stuffing, a most
facetious, jolly, good-natured soul, one of that class of persons deemed
independent, and his property enabled him to "care for nobody." The
adventures of the personnae in their pursuits of Life in and Out of London
are fully described, and the "_Finish!_" of LOGIC, the Oxonian, and
CORINTHIAN TOM narrated as follow.


CHAPTER XIV.

    JERRY _determined to give up all thoughts of_ LIFE IN LONDON; _to
    retire from the Day and Night Scenes altogether. Moralises on his late
    imminent danger, and almost miraculous escape from death._ LOGIC
    _rapidly declines in health. The_ OXONIAN _makes his Will. His advice
    to_ JERRY _before his exit._ EPITAPH _on_ LOGIC, _written by the_
    CORINTHIAN.

       *       *       *       *       *

"I hope LOGIC will be able to accompany us in our visit to LORD LIBERAL'S
Gallery," said TOM, when he was interrupted by the footman putting the
following letter into his hand--"Aye," observed TOM to JERRY, "here is a
note from BOB; let us hear what he has to offer upon the subject:--"

    MY DEAR TOM,

    I regret very much that my health will not permit me to accompany you
    and the "Young One" to view my LORD LIBERAL'S fine gallery of
    paintings; a pleasure which I had sincerely anticipated, as it is
    well known that his Lordship's taste respecting the fine arts, is
    considerably above _par_. But "_necessitas non habet legem!_" To tell
    you the truth, I am seriously ill, although not alarmed; yet, I must
    confess, that I never felt so _strangely_ in the whole course of my
    life. I think the _volume_ is nearly _spun_ out; and that the BOOK
    will soon be closed for ever! But DR. FINISH'EM will not have it so,
    nay, he insists on the contrary, "Lots of _pages_," says he, "yet
    remain to be _read_;" and several CHAPTERS must be _perused_, before
    you arrive at that emphatical word--FINIS! Be that as it may; you are
    aware that doctors differ, and I do not like appearances; yet, as we
    say at Oxford, _forti et fideli nil difficile_! Nevertheless, I am
    anxious to see you, my dear friend, as soon as convenient; and I wish
    JERRY to be your companion, as I have something to communicate to both
    of you, rather of a _serious_ nature, concerning myself; yet, I am far
    from labouring under _un coeur contrit_. Therefore tell the "Young
    One," I hope his person is now quite _cool_--that his flame is also
    _cool_; and instead of lamenting over the--&c., &c.--I am happy to
    hear he is _Mens sana in corpore sano_:--

        I remain, my dear TOM,
          Yours, truly,
            ROBERT LOGIC.

    _Corinthian Tom, Esq._

"There's something behind this letter that I do not like," said TOM; "BOB
is very ill, you may rely upon it, or else he would not be so pressing for
us to visit him." "Yes, I am afraid it is too true," replied JERRY; "but
let us hope he is not so bad, neither, as you perceive, he is _joking_
about my late affair." "Joke with you!" echoed TOM, "I expect LOGIC will
die with a _joke_ in his mouth, he is so fond of _punning_? But we will
lose no time, as I am anxious to ascertain the true cause of his illness."

Upon the arrival of our heroes at the apartments of LOGIC, they found him
sitting at a table, in his arm chair, with pens and ink before him: his
countenance most woefully changed for the worse. Indeed, TOM and JERRY
were quite shocked with his altered appearance in so short a time. He
endeavoured to smile upon them, as usual; but it savoured more of the
"_ghastly!_" than that sort of enlivening humour which so generally
imparted animation to his cheerful face. "I am very glad to see you, my
boys," said he, "before I start on my long journey, which I have been
preparing for these last five or six days." "I was not aware you had any
such intention," answered TOM; "but may I ask, where are you going?"

  "To that bourne from whence no traveller returns!"

replied LOGIC, accompanied by a most penetrating look at the CORINTHIAN.
"DR. FINISH'EM has given me my _quietus_, like an honest fellow. On
feeling my pulse, he observed--"Your _hour-glass_ is almost run out!
_Tempus fugit!_ Therefore, what you have to do, let it be done quickly, or
else it will not be done at all!" _Old Bolus_, too, was rather funny with
me on the occasion; "I know," said he, "your WILL was always good to serve
everybody; therefore, MR. LOGIC, have a good WILL now towards your
friends." I took _Pill_ and _Potions_ advice, and the few hours allotted
to me I have made the best use of that I possibly could; and here is my
WILL for your approbation." The tear started down TOM'S cheek, and JERRY
was much affected by the unexpected circumstance. "I sincerely hope it is
not so bad as you apprehend," said TOM. "Yes, my dear friends," replied
LOGIC, "it is all over with me. I have suffered severely from an
inflammation in my bowels; but the pain has subsided, and that is the sign
of approaching death. You will perceive, on looking over my
TESTAMENT,[39] that I have not adhered to any of the technical terms of
lawyers, being well aware that the distribution of my property will never
puzzle the pericranium of the _Lord Chancellor_, or occasion a row among
the _learned_ brethren, to obtain a brief upon the subject; and if I have
not made myself perfectly intelligible, I hope you will now point out any
errors that may appear to you, in order to avoid disputes hereafter. It is
true, I have no _blunt_ to leave you, my boys, but several _notes_, which
I hope, will always bear an interest, and prove as _valuable_ to you in
the hour of need--as _cash_! You will, my dear TOM, as my last request,
read it aloud, for the approbation of my friend JERRY."


THE LAST WORDS AND TESTAMENT OF ROBERT LOGIC.

Being wide _awake_--my UPPER STORY in perfect repair--and _down_ to what I
am about--I have seized hold of the _feather_, with a firm hand, to render
myself intelligible, and also to communicate the objects I have in view; I
give and bequeath unto my friend, JERRY HAWTHORN, Esq., my _tile_, my
_castor_, my _topper_, my _upper-crust_, my _pimple coverer_, otherwise MY
HAT, which, I hope, will never be the means of changing the appearance of
"an old friend with a new face." To my out and out friend and companion,
CORINTHIAN TOM, I give my _spread_, my _summer-cabbage_, my _water-plant_,
but more generally understood as my UMBRELLA; who, I feel assured will
never let it be made use of as a _shelter_ for duplicity, ingratitude, or
hum-buggery of any sort! Also, to JERRY HAWTHORN, Esq., I resign my
_fam-snatchers_, _i.e._, my GLOVES, under the consideration, if ever he
should part with them, that they are only to be worn by those persons, who
have "a _hand_ to give, and a _heart_ that forgives!" Likewise to JERRY
HAWTHORN, Esq., I bequeath my _four-eyes_, my _barnacles_, my
_green-specs_, but amongst opticians, denominated SPECTACLES. It is my
sincere wish, that nothing _green_ will be ever seen appertaining to them,
except their _colour_; I also hope they will not, upon any occasion
whatever _magnify_ TRIFLES into _difficulties_: but enable the wearer to
see his way through LIFE as clear as _crystal_! I press upon JERRY
HAWTHORN, Esq., his acceptance of my _fogle_, my _wipe_, my _clout_, my
_sneezer_, politely termed a SILK HANDKERCHIEF. This article has often
been used to _wipe_ off a tear of pity, and always forthcoming at a tale
of _distress_; may it ever be at _hand_ on such Christian-like occasions!
To PHILIP TIMOTHY SPLINTER, Esq., I bequeath my _upper tog_, my
_Benjaman_, my _wrapper_, generally called a TOP COAT, with the advice,
that however it may be _mended_ and _mended_ again, he will never let it
be _turned_ against unavoidable misfortune, and charity. My _ticker_, my
_tatler_, my _thimble_, otherwise my WATCH, I bequeath to JERRY HAWTHORN,
Esq., as an emblematical gift to keep TIME upon all occasions--to remember
its inestimable value, and also to recollect that he will, some day or
another, be _wound-up_ for the last _time_. My two SEALS I give conjointly
to my most valued and dear friends, CORINTHIAN TOM and JERRY HAWTHORN,
Esqrs., in order, if possible, that the bonds of friendship may be more
firmly _sealed_ between them, to the end of their lives. To Miss MARY
ROSEBUD, I give and bequeath my DIAMOND RING, as a representative of her
excellent brilliant qualities, and also as a golden fence, to secure her
virtue, reputation, and dignity. To my worthy friend, Sir JOHN BLUBBER,
Knt. I give and bequeath my _padders_, my _stampers_, my _buckets_,
otherwise my BOOTS, whose knowledge of mankind, united with kindness
towards the failings of others, teaches him to tread lightly o'er the
ashes of the dead! To prevent mistakes respecting my BIT, I have not a
_bit_ to leave; it having been with me, for some time past--POCKETS to
LET, unfurnished; _Sic transit gloria mundi!_ But nevertheless, I trust I
have always proved _amicus humani generis_! My BOOKS having been long
_booked_ for their value, and afforded me consolation and support in the
hour of need--I, therefore, leave as I found it, for other folks to bustle
in, that GREAT VOLUME--the WORLD! which upon all occasions, was my
sheet-anchor! assisted by the following good old maxims, as my guide:--

  _Tempus edax rerum._--Time that devours all things.

  _Vincit veritas._--Truth conquors.

  _Principiis obsta._--Resist the first beginnings.

  _Vitiis nemo sine nascitur._--No man without his faults.

  _Spes mea in Deo._--My hope is in God.

  _Spero meliora._--I hope for better things.

                                              ROBERT LOGIC.

TOM and JERRY were both considerably affected at the kindness displayed
towards them by the _Oxonian_; and had it been at any other time, the
singularity of the above _Testament_ would have produced much laughter
between them; at all events, it convinced them that LOGIC still preserved
his _character_ for ORIGINALITY. Three proper witnesses, disinterested
persons, belonging to the house, were instantly called in to sign it,
when the Testament, in the eye of the law, became a valid document. "My
dear JERRY," said LOGIC, "as we must soon part, I had intended to offer a
few remarks for your consideration; but, finding that my strength will not
second my intentions, I shall be very concise on the matter: you must
perceive that the _comical_ part of my career is at an end, and you are
well aware that I always was a merry fellow; but, as _Mercutio_ says, I
shall be found a _grave_ man to-morrow. Endeavour, then, "To do unto all
men, as you would they should do unto you," and you will not be a great
way off the right path to happiness. I feel myself very faint; my breath
getting short; and having settled everything to my satisfaction, have the
kindness to assist me into bed, that I may die like a
Christian--contented, and in peace with all mankind! Tom, give me your
hand; JERRY, yours likewise--I grasp them both with sincerity!" Then
looking them full in the face; with a placid smile on his countenance, his
last words were--"God bless you!" His lip fell; his eyes lost their
brilliancy; and the once-merry, lively, facetious, friendly LOGIC, was now
numbered with the dead!

[Illustration]

For several days, our heroes were absorbed in grief, at the sudden loss of
their much-admired and valued friend; and CORINTHIAN HOUSE, for a long
time after the decease of the _Oxonian_, was dull in the extreme. The
funeral of LOGIC, under the direction of TOM, was of the most splendid
description; and a handsome monument was also erected by his order,
bearing the following inscription:--

  This Tablet
  Was erected in remembrance of

  ROBERT LOGIC, Esq.,

  Who was viewed throughout the circle of his acquaintances as
  A MAN,
  In every sense of the word,
  VALUABLE AS GOLD!
  MIRTH and GOOD HUMOUR were always at his elbows; but
  DULL CARE
  Was never allowed a seat in his presence.
  He played the _first fiddle_ in all companies, and was never out
  of tune:
  BOB was a wit of the first quality;
  But his SATIRE was general, and levelled against the follies
  of mankind:
  PERSONALITY and SCANDAL he disclaimed:
  His exertions were always directed to make others happy.
  As a CHOICE SPIRIT, he was unequalled;
  And as a SINCERE FRIEND, never excelled; but in his character of a
  MAN OF THE WORLD,
  BOB LOGIC was a Mirror to all his Companions.
  MANKIND had been his study; and he had perused the Great

  Book of Life

  With superior advantages; and his COMMENTARIES on
  MEN AND MANNERS
  Displayed not only an enlarged mind; but his OPINIONS were
  gentlemanly and liberal.
  His intimate knowledge of VICE had preserved him from
  being VICIOUS.
  By which source he was able to discriminate with effect; and
  VIRTUE appeared more beautiful in his eyes.
  TRUTH was his polar star; and INTEGRITY his sheet anchor.
  ADVERSITY could not reduce his noble mind,
  And PROSPERITY was not suffered to play tricks with his feelings;

  HE WAS A MAN UNDER ALL CIRCUMSTANCES!

  FLATTERY he despised; while CANDOUR obtained his respect;
  and the corner stone of his character was--SINCERITY.
  He was charitable, but not ostentatious, and a well-wisher to
  all the world.

  His Friends,
  TOM AND JERRY,

  Lamenting his severe loss in society, trust, that upon the

  AWFUL, DAY OF RECKONING,

  The Great Auditor of Accounts will find his BALANCE SHEET
  correct, (_errors excepted_):
  And as the whole tenour of BOB LOGIC'S life had been A VOLUME
  OF PLEASURE they sincerely hope it will be
  WELL BOUND at the last!


CHAPTER XV.

    "_There is no place like Home!_" JERRY _bids adieu to_ LIFE IN LONDON,
    _and sets out, with the_ CORINTHIAN, _for_ HAWTHORN HALL. _Rosebud
    Cottage in sight, the Church in perspective, and a good look-out
    towards the High Road to Matrimony. Uncertainty of existence: sorrow
    succeeding sorrow_: TOM _killed by a fall from his horse while
    hunting_. JERRY _disconsolate for the loss of his two Pals.
    Reflections on the death of the_ CORINTHIAN, _and a few Lines to his
    Memory. Grieving's a folly! Thoughts on Marriage: popping the
    Question--the bit of Gold--the reluctant_ NO--YES!--OLD JOLLYBOY _an
    important feature. The Wedding Day--all happiness at_ HAWTHORN
    HALL--JERRY AND MARY ROSEBUD _united. The_ TIE-UP _of the Story, i.e.,
    to promote_ LIFE IN THE COUNTRY.

The sudden death of LOGIC made quite a _chasm_ in the movements of TOM and
JERRY; indeed he had been the principal caterer for their amusements, and
our heroes were not only in grief for his loss, but reduced completely to
a _stand-still_ without him. It is true; JERRY had previously made up his
mind to quit London, but the sudden demise of the _Oxonian_ positively
hurried him out of town. The Metropolis had lost its attractions upon the
feelings of JERRY, and he flattered himself that the neighbourhood of
HAWTHORN HALL, the sports of the field, and the fascinating company of
MISS ROSEBUD, would, in a great measure, afford relief to his mind, and
ultimately restore him to cheerfulness. The parents of JERRY were
overjoyed in beholding their darling son once more safe under their roof,
and the CORINTHIAN also received the most friendly congratulations on his
arrival at Hawthorn Hall. The _sombre_ appearance of our heroes, who were
in deep mourning for the _Oxonian_, operated as a great drawback to the
festivities which under different circumstances, had been intended to
celebrate their reception; indeed, at every step they took, the loss of
Logic was sincerely regretted by all those persons who had ranked him as
one of their best acquaintances, during his last appearance at HAWTHORN
HALL. "To me, the loss of LOGIC is incalculable," said Jerry, to his
father; "he was not only able to advise, but his manner of doing it was so
persuasive, that it was impossible not to benefit by his experience; more
especially at my time of life, when such experience was by far more
valuable to my mind, than any knowledge I might have obtained of men and
manners, through my own exertions!"

Our hero lost no time in visiting Rosebud Cottage. On his entrance he was
welcomed by the father of our heroine with no common sort of ardour; but,
on his being ushered into the presence of MARY ROSEBUD, he felt confused,
nay, ashamed; her looks, although accompanied with a smile, nevertheless
told him that he had been neglectful towards her, during his residence in
London, and she gently chided him for his want of attention. "I am afraid,
Sir," said she, "it has been with you like most professed lovers, 'out of
sight, out of mind.'" JERRY could not reply; his excuses were lame and
impotent; indeed, he was aware that he was in fault, and, therefore,
sensibly threw himself upon the mercy of the Court, and sued in the most
persuasive manner for pardon. The good nature of MARY, aided by a little
of something else--perhaps, love--could not resist the application; and
she generously admitted that some allowance might be made for him, when
surrounded by the attractions of London. "Generous girl!" exclaimed JERRY,
"the remainder of my life shall be devoted to your happiness."

JERRY being now perfectly established in the good opinion of MISS ROSEBUD,
became doubly attentive in his visits; when the minutes, the hours, the
days, nay, the weeks almost appeared to fly, so fascinated was JERRY with
the company and attractions of our charming heroine. In truth, the time of
JERRY was completely occupied with hunting, dinners, card-parties,
assemblies, &c., accompanied by TOM; and his life appeared so happy, that
he congratulated himself on his return to the seat of his father, also
upon the hair-breadth escapes he had met with, during his Day and Night
Scenes in London.

       *       *       *       *       *

During a walk one fine evening, and Hawthorn Church appearing in view,
JERRY was determined to make the best use of the opportunity which offered
itself, by soliciting MARY ROSEBUD to name the day that was to complete
his happiness. "I have always promised my father," replied MARY, with the
utmost frankness, "that he should name the wedding-day; therefore, gain
his consent, and you will have no complaint to make against my decision."
"I will be your father upon that joyful occasion," said the CORINTHIAN,
"if you will permit me, my dear MISS ROSEBUD, as I am very anxious to
bestow on my friend JERRY one of the greatest treasures in this life,--a
most amiable companion and virtuous wife." MISS ROSEBUD blushed at the
remark, but nevertheless felt pleased with the compliment paid by the
CORINTHIAN; and the subject was dropped until they arrived at Rosebud
Cottage. The father of our heroine, on being made acquainted with the
wishes of the young folks, observed, "I am quite content; and I sincerely
hope they will prove one of the happiest couples alive. Therefore, let the
settlements be drawn immediately, the licence procured without delay, the
dresses made offhand, our friends invited in good time, and OLD JOLLYBOY
requested to hold himself in readiness. Now, having settled this marriage
business to my mind, let us have a jolly evening together, before we part;
and to-morrow, JERRY, what do you say to a day's hunting? And your cousin,
TOM, I have no doubt, will make one of the party." "It will afford me
great pleasure," replied the CORINTHIAN; "and we will be in time to start
with you." The evening was spent in great jollity.--"The single married,
and the married happy," were toasted over and over again by the party,
until JERRY became as lively as a lark, OLD ROSEBUD roaring out the view
halloo! The CORINTHIAN quite merry and facetious, and OLD JOLLYBOY rather
above par, hiccoughing, every now and then, with an attempt to pun, that
he was "fond of (_a_) _good living_!"

Our heroes were ready at the appointed time to take the field with OLD
ROSEBUD; the latter fox-hunter was in high glee with the excellence of the
day's sport, JERRY equally delighted, and TOM had just declared he had not
been so pleased for a long time; but, unfortunately for him, in his bold
endeavour to clear some high palings, his horse fell with him, and he was
thrown some distance. On being raised from the ground, it was discovered
that his neck was dislocated, and he expired instantly. Upon JERRY'S
ascertaining the fate of the CORINTHIAN, his feelings were so completely
overcome, that he fell down in a fit quite senseless.

To describe the wretched state of mind which JERRY suffered for several
days, at the unexpected accident and melancholy death of his dearest
friend in the world would have baffled the poet's skill and the painter's
talents to pourtray--the shock was so sudden, and the loss to our hero so
great, that it was impossible to have been otherwise; just at the moment
when happiness appeared to be within his grasp, and he was also slowly
recovering from the serious effects which the death of LOGIC had also made
upon his feelings, to have met with such an immense blow--the death of
CORINTHIAN TOM--shattered his nerves all to pieces, and anything in the
shape of consolation appeared to him officious, troublesome, and
unavailing! Ultimately, by the soothing attention of MISS ROSEBUD, the
friendly interference of the old fox hunter, her father, the unremitting
kindness of his parents, and the cheering, good advice of OLD JOLLYBOY, by
degrees he was restored to a state of convalescence.

From "GAY to _grave_," was now the reversed scene for the contemplation of
our hero, and the old proverb verified to an awful extent, "that many
things happen between the cup and the lip;" the _marriage rites_ were now
suspended to make way for the performance of the burial service. The
remains of the CORINTHIAN were conveyed to town with the utmost solemnity,
and interred in the family vault, with all those obsequies due to his
rank; and although JERRY remained extremely ill, and scarcely able to
stand upon his legs, yet he was determined, at all hazards, to pay the
last respect to his most valued friend and relative, CORINTHIAN TOM, by
his appearance at the funeral in the character of chief mourner. JERRY did
not quit the Metropolis until he had settled every thing to his
satisfaction respecting the interment of the CORINTHIAN. Upon the return
of JERRY to HAWTHORN HALL, several days elapsed before anything like
pleasure occupied his mind; he positively refused to quit the house, and
he also shunned the society of his acquaintances. "It requires no common
fortitude," observed JERRY, to OLD JOLLYBOY, "to bear up against the loss
of two such invaluable friends as TOM and LOGIC, snatched, as it were, in
an instant from me, when I stood most in need of their assistance, and to
whom I am principally indebted for the knowledge of mankind which I now
possess. In LOGIC, I have lost a model of experience, a fund of talent,
and a heart overflowing with the milk of human kindness. By the death of
TOM, I shall heavily miss that urbanity, discernment and liberality, which
highly distinguishes the polished, and thorough-bred gentleman. I am now
left to decide for myself; but, nevertheless, I hope I shall sincerely
profit by their example. APPEARANCES, I am perfectly aware might be
against both of their characters with the fastidious part of society, yet
hypocrisy, cant, humbug, or dissimulation, never disgraced their conduct:
a love of honour shone conspicuously throughout their actions, and, by an
acknowledgment of their own errors, displayed a noble generosity towards
the faults of others. They taught me not to spend time in regretting any
mistakes that I had made, but to exert myself upon every occasion to
repair them. This maxim shall be my guide through life--I will not repine,
but struggle with fortitude against unavoidable calamities, and endeavour
to make myself happy under all circumstances of my existences."

JERRY immediately gave orders for a very handsome stone to be placed in
the most conspicuous situation near to the spot where CORINTHIAN TOM lost
his life, with the following inscription engraved upon it:--

  Near to this Spot of Earth,
  Lost his Life by a Fall from his Horse while Hunting,
  CORINTHIAN TOM,
  One of the highest-bred creatures in the Universe, and who got
  over the ground like nothing else but
  A GOOD ONE:
  In the walks of fashion, he was a CORINTHIAN;
  Amongst the BLOODS, a _bon vivant_;
  On the TURF a real SPORTSMAN; in the Chase, an OUT and OUTER;
  And in his deportment to every person
  A PERFECT GENTLEMAN!
  If he could not put in a positive claim to the title of
  THE ROSE AND PILLAR OF THE STATE.
  No man in the world ever possessed the SUAVITER IN MODO
  and FORTITER, IN RE
  In a more eminent degree than
  Corinthian Tom.

  This Remembrance has been erected by his Relative and
  sincere Friend
  JERRY HAWTHORN, ESQ.,
  Under the hope, that when he hears the LAST VIEW HALLOO!
  His PEDIGREE may be found sound; his RACE complete, by
  Winning the HAPPY STAKES; and nothing against him
  Noted down in the
  Steward's Book.

"I admit your loss has been great, and I also admire the tenour of your
argument," observed Mr. ROSEBUD, "but, nevertheless, 'grieving's a folly;'
there is a time for every thing, as my friend OLD JOLLYBOY would have
observed, therefore, JERRY, having done every thing becoming the character
of a sincere friend, I think you ought now to turn to a more pleasant view
of the picture, and once more give your acquaintances the benefit of your
company." "Good!" exclaimed OLD JOLLYBOY; "for some time past, I have been
holding myself in readiness to receive a summons to perform a certain
ceremony, without SQUIRE HAWTHORN has given up the marriage altogether.
All in good time perhaps!"

The trifling hint was quite sufficient, and JERRY, lest his conduct should
be thought cold or neglectful, presented himself, in the course of the
morning, "for better or for worse," to Miss ROSEBUD, at the Cottage,
anxiously soliciting her to name the wedding day. The disposition of MARY
ROSEBUD was of the most ingenious nature, and her attachment to our hero
too great to keep him long in suspense. "Perhaps, Sir," said MARY, "I
ought to say 'No!'--and insist upon more time, to enable me to form a
correct opinion of your conduct, whether you have duly considered the
serious and important charge of martrimony, and the confinement also
attendant on such a state; and, likewise, freely consenting, as it is
termed, to surrender a part of your liberty, before I say 'YES.' But I
prefer being frank on the present occasion; and, relying on your honour,
generosity, and true love, I am content, whenever my father shall think
proper to name the day." "Generous, amiable girl," replied JERRY, "I have
well considered the subject, in every point of view; but I will make no
professions: yet my endeavours throughout my life, shall be to
_strengthen_, what the Poet has so beautifully described, the

  "Perpetual fountain of domestic sweets."

The day was immediately fixed for the nuptials by Mr. ROSEBUD; the
marriage ceremony was performed by OLD JOLLYBOY, and when MISS ROSEBUD
answered "I will!" the old Curate was so full of joy, that the word
"GOOD!" had almost escaped his lips. The estates of the Rosebuds and the
Hawthorns were united, and MARY and JERRY made the happiest of the happy.
The wedding-day was devoted to pleasure. "It shall be kept in the old
style," said JERRY'S father; "every body, shall be welcome; we will have a
dance upon the green; all the lads and lasses in the village shall be
invited to celebrate the wedding; we will broach a tub of '_humming
bub!!_' and nothing shall be wanting to promote mirth and harmony."
"Good!" said OLD JOLLYBOY, over his pipe; but, long before the approach of
night, the "gaily circulating glass" had been pushed about by OLD HAWTHORN
to all the company--that, suffice to observe; as we have too much respect
for the cloth to tell tales, the fine old Curate required the assistance
of "AMEN," the clerk, to make JOLLYBOY "all right" at the Curacy.

The honey-moon was, of course, a raptuous one; after which JERRY might be
viewed as a "_settled being_." Time rolled over pleasantly with him and
his bride; and the sports of the field, if possible, he enjoyed with
greater zest than heretofore. His fire-side was a pattern of domestic
comfort, although a sigh would now and then escape his lips, whenever the
thoughts of TOM and LOGIC came over his mind. In every other respect,
JERRY was a picture of contentment; determined to profit by his
experience, and to turn to a good account, for the benefit of himself and
his family, the many hair-breadth escapes and dangerous adventures he had
met with in his DAY and NIGHT SCENES in LIFE in London. He was the delight
of all the companies he visited in the neighbourhood of HAWTHORN HALL; his
general conduct was the praise of the surrounding gentry, and he was
admitted, by all parties, to sustain the character of a perfect COUNTRY
GENTLEMAN. We now take our leave of JERRY, "all happiness," with his
amiable wife, a fine estate, a capital stud of horses, and a crack pack of
hounds, to promote--

LIFE IN THE COUNTRY.


THE END.


[Illustration]




[Illustration: KEY to PERSONS AND PLACES and an ETYMOLOGICAL AND CRITICAL
VOCABULARY AND GLOSSARY Of FLASH and SLANG TERMS occurring in the course
of this work.]


[Illustration:

  LONDON:--
  E. A. BECKETT,
  PRINTER,
  111 & 113,
  KINGSLAND ROAD.]




KEY TO PERSONS AND PLACES, &c.


A.

=A.B.C.=--Any easy matter, the A.B.C. of the affair, _i.e._, the whole of
the particulars can be comprehended as soon, or as easy as you can say
A.B.C.:--Then comes answer like A.B.C. book.--_Shakespeare._

=Above Board.=--In open sight, all fair and _square_, dealing without
artifice or trick.

=Above Par.=--Tolerably drunk--also to be possessed of money beyond one's
actual expenses--plenty of the _needful_--lots of _blunt_!--able to
_post_-the-_pony_--lay down the _rag_!--chink the _ochre_! &c., in case of
laying a wager or making an investment.

=Ace of Spades.=--A widow.

=Adelphi.=--Greek for brothers: several streets on the south side of the
Strand, London, erected about 1768 by the brothers, John, Robert, James,
and William Adam, after whom the streets are named.

=Adelphi Theatre.=--Formerly called the _Sans Pareil_, opened under the
management of Mr. and Miss Scott, 27 Nov., 1806. Messrs. Rodwell and Jones
purchased the property and opened on Monday, Oct. 18, 1819, and issued the
first playbill bearing the name of "Adelphi Theatre." Messrs. Mathews and
Yates became managers, Sept. 29, 1828--Mr. Charles Mathews--_Mathews at
Home_--died the 28th of June, 1835. The theatre was then let for the
remainder of the season to Messrs. Ephraim Bond and Company, and
announced to be "under the management of Mrs. Nisbett." After that Mr.
Yates had the sole management. In 1840 Messrs. Yates and Gladstone were
the proprietors. Mr. Benjamin Webster became lessee, and Madame Celeste
directress, 1844. The theatre was re-built and opened, with improved
arrangements 27 Dec., 1858, as The New Adelphi. In 1870 it was announced
that while Mr. Ben. Webster was sole proprietor, Mr. Webster and Mr. F. B.
Chatterton were joint managers. After several changes Messrs. A. and S.
Gatti became sole proprietors and managers.

=Air and Exercise.=--Or, _Shoving the tumbler_. Being whipped at the
cart's tail.

=Alderman.=--A turkey, _Alderman in chains_, a roast turkey well-stuffed
and garnished with pork sausages; the latter emblematical of the gold
chain worn by that civic dignitary.

=Ale Draper.=--The alehouse-keeper; a _rum cull_, a _squirt quester_. _Ale
spinner_, a brewer or publican.

=Alive.=--Active, smart, to be ever on the alert. _Alive_ to the subject;
the game, the fact, or to any circumstance. Tom's _alive_ to his own
interest, let him alone for that; he's _wide-a-wake_!

=All Hands to the Pump.=--All force concentrated to one spot.

=All-Max in the East.=--Open to all influenced by none--was held at the
Coach and Horses public-house, Nightingale-lane, East Smithfield, and was
frequented by most of the Wapping _elegantes_. BLUE RUIN and reels were
generally the _order_--rather the _dis_order of the evening.

=All Out.=--The whole of the reckoning. "How stands the great account
t'wixt me and vengeance!"

=Almack's.=--Aristocratic exclusiveness. A ball given by the highest
nobility. Almack's means properly a suite of assembly rooms in King
Street, St. James's, London, built in 1765 by a Scotchman named Macall,
who inverted his name to obviate all prejudice and hide his origin. Balls,
presided over by a committee of ladies of the highest rank, used to be
given in these rooms; and to be admitted to them was as great a
distinction as to be introduced at Court. The rooms are now called
Willis's from the present proprietor.

  If once to ALMACK'S you belong,
  Like MONARCH'S, you can _do no wrong_;
  But banished thence on Wednesday night,
  By Jove, you can do nothing right.

=Alone.=--A knowing one may be trusted "_Alone_" by reason of his
experience in worldly matters.

=Angelics.=--Young ladies. N.B. _Unmarried!_

=Annointed.=--Knowing, ripe for mischief, full of courage and energy for
any desperate exploit.

=Apartments to Let.=--It is said that the "widow's cap," denotes that
there are _Apartments to Let_! Also of an empty-headed or _shallow-cove_.

=Argument.=--The best of the. Any man with a pair of leather lungs has the
best of an argument at a tavern, unless there be an other present who can
lay heavy sums which are quite _uncoverable_ that _his_ opinion or
assertion is correct. A stable-keeper being beaten in argument by one of
the leather-lunged breed, produced a large roll of bank-notes and a
handful of sovereigns, smacking them down on the table exclaiming, "There
you ---- look at that; if I am a fool my money's none. _That beats you!_"

=Arm Pits.=--_To work under the arm pits_, is to practise only such
depredations as will amount on conviction to transportation. By following
this course and system, a thief avoids the _halter_, or _neck-squeezer_!
which certainly is applied _above_ the arm pits.

=Arm Props.=--Crutches.--Go it ye cripples _crutches_ are cheap.

=Astley's Amphitheatre.=--Was built and opened by Philip Astley, 1773.

=Astronomer.=--A star-gazer. A horse that carries his head high-up in the
air.

=At Fault.=--At a loss; not knowing in what direction to proceed, like
dogs who have lost scent of a hare or fox. This sporting phrase is often
used, figuratively to signify that a man has been defeated in his
pursuits, and does not know how to extricate himself from difficulty.

=At Home.=--To _Provincials_, this phrase may operate rather as a sort of
paradox--as houses and persons, in general are robbed not "at home" but
when the parties are _abroad_.

=Awake.=--Knowing; acquainted with, aware of, or knowing what is going on.
_Awake to the move_, aware of the proceedings; _Stow the books, the culls
are awake_, Hide the cards, the persons know what we intend to do. This
word is used on many occasions, and in most situations of life, being
expressive of attention.


B.

=Babes in the Wood.=--Persons confined in the stocks or pillory, said also
of dice.

=Babes of Grace.=--Puritanical, sanctified-looking persons; also drunken
psalm-smiting cobblers.

=Back-slums.=--Beggars' meeting places; Dyot Street, St. Giles'; Kent
Street, in the Borough, &c. The expression applies to all Metropolitan
receptacles of mendicants, prostitutes, thieves, and rogues of every
degree to get a night's lodging. _Back Slummers_, dirty, common, low, and
vagrant people who reside in the _Back-slums_.

=Bag the Swag.=--Pocket, or put into a bag, the plunder, or hide the
stolen property.

=Baked.=--Done up, exhausted, tired out, "_When I got to the top of the
hill_ I was regularly--_Baked_!"--_Soft-baked_ in also employed to persons
who lack worldly wisdom.

=Baker, Charles.=--Comedian, died November 26, 1844.

=Bang-up.=--Quite right, the thing! the go! done complete, in handsome
style, quite fashionable, at the top of the _mode_.

=Bank.=--A snug and secure place to deposit plunder; _Bank the rag_, to
take care of money.

=Barbers' Clerks.=--Shopmen, and poor ill-paid and half-starved
apprentices, or conceited ignorant shop-boys.

=Barking Irons.=--Pistols, from the explosions being supposed to resemble
the barking of a dog.

=Baron Nab'em.=--Otherwise NICHOLAS BORROWBODY. The individual bearing
this name who _devotes his attentions_ to Logic, in his _moments of
retirement_, is Mr. James Soares, more familiarly termed _Jemmy Soares_;
well-known in the sporting world, particularly among the friends and
supporters of the _Ring_, and long the _President of the Daffy Club_, a
society held at Belcher's, the Castle Tavern, Holborn. Events have
occurred to prevent his occupying so prominent a place, as formerly, in
the list of milling amateurs: but his open heartedness, his native humour,
his liberal temper, and convivial disposition, will long be remembered
with pleasure, by the numerous pals, who were wont to surround him.

=Barrymore, W.=--Comedian, died in America, November 24, 1846.

=Baxter's Hats.=--A celebrated _Topper-maker_ to the _Fancy_. Formerly in
high repute with the amateurs, in respect to giving the _knowledge-box_ an
important _look_!

=Beaks.=--Justices, from their former cormorantish qualities--"Your
_vulture_ hath a devil of a _beak_!" But things are different. The
Magistrates of the present day, that is the Metropolitan ones, are, with
some few exceptions an honour to the Bench. _Beaksmen_, constables, or
police officers.

=Beat.=--A watchman's walk, the district in which he is licensed to _beat_
at will all Her Majesty's peaceable and loving subjects.

=Beaver.=--A hat; probably from generally possessing very little _beaver_.
My last _beaver_ turned out to be all _silk_, as Jack Bannister said, "The
loss was felt":--I cleft his _beaver_ with a downright
blow.--_Shakespeare._

=Beeswax.=--Cheese, generally Gloucester, from the similarity between
them--"Lets have a twopenny burster, half a quartern o' _beesvax_, an
ha'p'oth o' ingens, and a dollop o' salt along vith it, vill you?"--_Dusty
Bob._

=Beggars.=--Our street beggars have existed from time immemorial; their
profession had become, in some measure, sanctioned by long tolerance. They
were a merry, ingenious, persevering, and almost innoxious race. They are
associated with our earliest recollections; like _Springlove_ in BROME'S
healthful and truly old English opera, "_The Jovial Crew!_" we at certain
seasons feel almost a yearning to join them. Their wild free life, their
careless revelry, present charms to us in retrospection, to which we are
not wholly proof!--we think upon the "_Beggar's Bush_" of those twin stars
BEAUMONT and FLETCHER. Classic recollections bring BELISARIUS with his
"_Date Obolum_" to our mind. BAMFYLDE MOORE CAREW; Sir SIMON MONTFORD,
_The Blind Beggar of Bethnal Green_; King COPHUETA, who loved the _Beggar
Maid_, the valiant _beggar_ who beat the redoubted ROBIN HOOD to a
standstill are among the most favourite heroes of our childhood. The race
whose cause we are attempting to advocate, had at least the claim of
destitution on our attention; as Lubin Log has it, our bounty was at all
events "_hobtional_." But what shall we say of the wealthy and the great,
who have become beggars upon the _public purse_ for the purpose of putting
these their now persecuted rivals down? They have no claim, no
excuse--away with them--shame on such monopoly!

=Beggar's Opera.=--There were two public-houses in Church Lane, St.
Giles's; chiefly supported by beggars, one, called the Beggar's Opera,
which was the Rose and Crown, and the other the Robin Hood--at both of
which Noah Ark Societies--that is "_Motley-Crew_ Societies"--were held.
The number that frequented these houses at various times, was computed to
be from two to three hundred, and the receipts at a moderate calculation
could not be less than from three to five shillings a day each person,
frequently more.

=Bellamy, William.=--Bass Singer, died January 3, 1843, aged 74.

=Belch.=--All sorts of malt liquor, beer and porter being apt to cause
uncomfortable eructations:--The bitterness of it I now belch forth from my
heart.--_Shakespeare._

=Belcher.=--A large red neckerchief spotted with yellow and black, and
first worn by Jem Belcher the famous pugilist, 1781-1811. "The _Kiddy_
flashes his _Belcher_." Tom Belcher's colour was yellow, with white and
black spots.

=Bell's Life in London.=--And SPORTING CHRONICLE, _a rich Repository of
Fashion, Wit, and Humour, and the interesting Incidents of_ REAL
LIFE:--Was founded March 3, 1822, by Mr. John Bell, one of the most
spirited publishers of his time, and the printer and proprietor of "Bell's
Edition of Plays,"--"Bell's Edition of the Poets,"--"Bell's Weekly
Messenger," &c., &c. Mr. Vincent Dowling, was first installed Editor
August, 1824. On Sunday, November 4, 1827, it was publicly announced
that--"PIERCE EGAN'S LIFE IN LONDON AND SPORTING GUIDE" is this day
incorporated with "BELL'S LIFE IN LONDON." All communications for the
Editor, therefore, are requested to be transmitted, in future, to the
Office, No. 169, Strand.... Let it not be forgotten, that "BELL'S LIFE IN
LONDON," is the largest, and best, and the cheapest, Sporting Journal in
the Kingdom. "Compare and Judge." [Pointing Hand] "The Price is but
Sevenpence."--"Mr. Vincent Dowling, the Editor, was well known in the
Sporting World and in him the _Fancy_ found a sincere friend. He is a most
excellent companion; cheerful, witty, and satirical at all times, but, in
the latter display of his talents, the _feather_ appears more than the
razor--he tickles his adversaries, rather than wounds their
feelings"--_Pierce Egan._--A service of plate value 100 gs. was presented
to Mr. Vincent Dowling, at the Castle Tavern, Holborn, July 18, 1833.

=Beef.=--To cry Beef is to give the alarm.--"A _mot_ in the regency below,
bolted out into the _hairy_ and cried _beef_ on us; just as ve had
_sacked_ the _swag_; so Tim Snooks who vos vide awake in the rum pad in
front; giv'd as the office to _scarper_! and ve cut like blazes! Squinting
Bill piked through the glaze, and vos out of sight in less than no time,
and I got over the balcony, and slides down the vater shoot, and makes
good my hexit, but leaving all the tools and the swag behind in the old
coveys snoozing-ken."

=Beer and Britannia.=--What two ideas are more inseparable than BEER and
BRITANNIA? What event more awfully important to an English colony than the
erection of its first brewhouse!:--

  Beer! Boys, Beer! all over town and country,
  Beer! Boys, Beer! with pewter pot in hand;
  Beer! Boys, Beer! for all who don't mind labour,
  Beer! Boys, Beer! who a gallon's going to stand.

=Big ones.=--Men of consequence: such as Tom Cribb,--The Duke of
Wellington,--John Jackson,--The Lord Chancellor,--John Gully,--The
Chancellor of the Exchequer,--Tom Spring,--The Master of the Rolls, &c.

=Big Wigs.=--Judges, &c.,:--"_The wisdom's in the wig._" If you doubt it,
play the part of _Paul Pry_ for half-an-hour in any of the Courts of Law,
or ask the Vice-Chancellor. You'll soon be convinced.

=Bilk the Schoolmaster.=--Not to stand your _regulars_, _i.e._, not to pay
for being let into the secret.

=Billing and Cooing.=--Courting; the two sexes humbugging one
another--_faking the sweetner_, kissing, &c.:--What billing
again?--_Shakespeare._

=Bill of Sale.=--A widow's weeds.

=Billy.=--The cant term for a silk pocket handkerchief.

=Billy Buzman.=--A class of pickpockets who confine their attention
exclusively to silk pocket handkerchiefs. In thieving as in other
professions and arts of life in this highly civilized age, "Division of
Labour," as political economists term it, is particularly attended to in
the London School of _gonnofs_, not only for the sake of convenience, but
from the well-known principle that "_Practice makes perfect_."
Accordingly, it would be considered as untradesman-like for a _Billy
Buzman_ to go out of his own line of business, as for an ironmonger to
sell treacle, or a silk mercer to deal in or sell neat's foot oil.

=Bird-cage.=--Small country watch-houses, or gaols. Come, let's away to
prison; we two alone will sing like birds i' the cage:--_Shakespeare._

=Birds of Prey.=--Lawyers.--The first thing we do, let's kill all the
lawyers.--_Jack Cade._

=Bit.=--Taken in, one half the world bite the other. Also money of any
kind or quantity. _Queer-bit_, bad money. _Rum-bit_, good money. "He
grabbed the _Cull's-bit_." He seized the man's money.

=Bit of Cavalry.=--A horse.--An two men ride a horse, one must ride
behind.

=Bit of good Truth.=--The plain facts.--Facts are stubborn things.

=Bit of Muslin.=--A sweetheart.--Love me little, love me long.

=Biting one's name in it.=--Taking a good draught out of a pot of heavy
wet.

=Black Beetles.=--The Lower orders--the rabble (_Canaille_).

=Black Diamonds.=--Coals. _Black diamonds Lords_, owners of coal mines.
_Black diamond merchant_, a coal merchant. _Black diamond polisher_, a
coalheaver.

=Black Miller.=--The--The brave and somewhat ill used Molineux. The Black
pugilist who was twice beaten by Tom Cribb, 1810-11.

=Black Sharks.=--Attorneys and Lawyers.--_Arcades ambo!_

=Black Strap.=--Port wine. "What will you lay it is a lie!"

=Blade.=--A man: who may be a _brother blade_ as a butcher, a _knowing
blade_, if a sharp fellow, wide awake and cunning.

=Blinker.=--A one-eyed horse.

=Bloods, Bucks, and Choice Spirits.=--_Tria juncta in uno_--A riotous
disorderly set of young men who imagine that their noise, bluster,
warwhoop, and impertinence impress those who come in contact with them
with the opinion that they are men of spirit and fashion. The nocturnal
exploits of the true high-mettled, and fast-going _Blood_: consists of
throwing a waiter out of a tavern window _lumpus!_ pinking a
sedan-chairman, or a jarvey, who is so uncivil as to demand his fare,
milling and boxing-up the charlies, kicking-up rows at Ranelagh and
Vauxhall, driving stage coaches, getting up prize fights, breaking shop
windows with penny pieces thrown from a Hackney coach, bilking a
turnpike-man, and at other times painting-out in a very opposite colour
his "LIST OF TOLLS PAYABLE," Funking a cobbler, smoking cigars at divans
and club-houses, fleecing each other in the Hells around Jermyn Street,
drinking champagne at Charley Wright's in the Haymarket, claret and brandy
at Offley's, and "early pearl" and dogsnose at the Coal Hole, wearing
large whiskers, and false noses and moustachios, exchanging blackguard
_baninage_ with women of the town in and about Covent Garden, the
Haymarket, and Piccadilly--"_Dem'ee that's yer sort!--Keep it up--keep it
up!_"

=Blown.=--Exposed, informed against.

=Blow a Cloud.=--Smoke a pipe. Cock a Broseley.

=Blue Blazes.=--Spirituous liquors in general, GIN in particular.

=Blue Ruin.=--Gin, called _blue_ from its tint, and _ruin_ from its
effects. In the words of Otway most gin drinkers are "in love and pleased
with _ruin_!"

=Blunt.=--Cash, or money of any value, or in any quantity. Lots of
_blunt_, plenty of money--"Thou dear delightful evil."

=Bob, or Bobstick.=--A shilling.

=Bobbish.=--Smart, active, clever.

=Bodkin.=--William Bodkin, Esq., or as he was familiarly termed _Billy
Bodkin_, was originally a painstaking _Broker_ and _Auctioneer_ at
Islington, he was the first Hon. Sec. to the Mendicity Society, which
office it was said he found more lucrative. So neglected _knocking down_,
for the sake of _taking-up_, giving the vagrants their quietus "_With a
bare Bodkin_."--For further particulars about this _sharp_ Bodkin _see_
Billy Waters.

=Bolt.=--Throat, _Sluice your bolt_--Drink.

=Bone-setter.=--A hackney-coach, also a hard trotting horse.

=Booked.=--The time fixed when a thief is ripe for the gallows, or when
any one is likely to die from some mortal disease. "He's _booked_ for a
ride in a Government omnibus, _i.e._, prison van." "You are _booked_ for a
ride to Gravesend." Secured, bespoke, in for it, dished!

=Booze.=--Liquor, "To drink." "_Rum booze_," good drink.

=Boozey.=--Drunk. Man being reasonable must get drunk.--_Byron._

=Boozing-ken.=--An alehouse, or tavern.

=Bosh.=--A fiddle. To _fake_ a _bosh_, to play the fiddle; _Boshmen_,
fiddlers, or musicians in general.

=Bought.=--I have _bought_ that and no mistake, _i.e._, paid too much for
it. _Bought_ and _sold_: taken in and done for.--It would make a man as
mad as a buck, to be so bought and sold.--_Shakespeare._

=Bouncing Chit.=--A bottle, from the explosion in drawing the cork.

=Boxed.=--Locked up.--Cabin'd, cribb'd, and confined.

=Boxing a Charley.=--Upsetting a watchman in his box.

=Box of Dominoes or Ivories.=--The mouth, containing the teeth.

=Box of Minutes.=--A watch.--Watches you know, were made to go.

=Brads.=--Half-pence, also money in general.--Shell out the _brads_ Jack.

=Brass.=--Money, also impudence,--"A man who carries plenty of _brass_ in
his face will never lack gold in his pocket."

=Bread Basket.=--The stomach.

=Breaking up of the Spell.=--The breaking up of a party of long sitting:
the nightly termination of performance at the theatres, which is regularly
attended by pickpockets, who exercise their vocation about the doors and
avenues leading thereto.

=Broads-=Cards, _Swell_ BROAD-COVES.--Elegantly dressed card-players; also
possessing a good address with other requisites befitting them to keep
company with gentlemen.

=Broad Fencers.=--The Cads and fellows who hawk Lists, or k'rect cards, at
races,--Pierce Egan, in an account of--"The gallant and spirited Race at
Knavesmire in Yorkshire, for 500 gs. and 1000 gs. bye--4 miles. Between
the late Colonel Thornton's Lady and Mr. Flint," and reported by him in
"BOOK OF SPORT," thus graphically describes the _Broad Fencer_ of the
period:--"The _Cads_, and fellows with the Race Lists, were thus _hawking_
their bills and cards over the race ground to obtain purchasers. Come my
worthy sporting gentlemen from all parts of the kingdom--now's your time
to open your eyes and look about you, when you will see to-day what you
never saw before in your life, and, perhaps, you may never see again, if
you live as long as Old Methuselah. Come, I say, who's for a list--the
whole list, and nothing else but a true list--besides, you will have a
correct and particlar account of the terrible, terrible, terrible
high-bred female--the good-lady of Colonel Thornton; there is nothing like
her in the universal world. Old Astley's troupe are mere _patches_ upon
her managing a horse, she will this day ride a match like a lady, over the
four mile course for 500 guineas, and 1000 guineas bye; and some hundreds
of thousands are likewise depending upon this most extraordinary match
between the "_Jockey in Petticoats_" against the well-known sporting
character Mr. Flint, in his "_doe skins and top boots_;" and looked upon
as one of the best gentlemen riders in the nation. You have also the names
of the horses, and the colours of the riders, with every other particular
that can enlighten your minds, and make you gentlemen sportsmen acquainted
with this lively race. You have now the opportunity to lay out your money
according to your inclination. The gentleman allows the lady to ride what
weight she likes, there being a mutual understanding between them upon the
subject; therefore, she will not, like commoners go "_to scale_" as she
will not be _handled_ by any body before she starts for the prize; indeed,
the Female Jockey is not considered any _weight_ at all. Her importance
and self-possession are the only objects for consideration. What does
spirit, fire, blood, and gaiety weigh, I should like to ask? I answer
nothing,--my masters! Such high bred qualities are as light as air--brisk
as the wind--and 2 to 1 towards winning. You have also at the same price,
the plain and simple pedigree of the female Jockey. Her "_sire_" was a
capital "good un;" her _dam_, a prime fleet "un," an Eclipse in character;
her _brother_, all that could be wished upon the turf, for getting over
the ground like a sky rocket, her _sister_, a Nonpareil at all points, and
above any price, but her owner, her out-and-out owner, the Colonel from
his "upper crust" down to his "walker," is a match for all England against
any thing--for every thing alive--either on the turf or turnpike,--from a
mouse to an elephant: and nothing else but winning belongs to his stable.
And lastly, though not the least in the above Catalogue of
Excellence,--every _point_ of the Female Jockey is tip-top, her agility is
captivating; and she mounts her _prad_ like the most accomplished horseman
in the world. Her movements defy expression; her nods to the females, as
she rides over the Course, delightful! but her smiles to the applauding
gentlemen, in answer to the winks, bows, and other marks of politeness
towards her, as compliments for her daring exploits, are fascinating,
elegant, and nothing else but winning. She is seated upon her high-bred
animal with all the firmness of a _Nimrod_; she holds her reins with the
most perfect ease and style; and Chifney, in the best of his days, never
displayed a better knowledge of horsemanship than the Female Jockey, and
she flourishes her whip with all the good taste of the leader of a band at
a concert. In fact, she is a _Nonesuch!_ a PARAGON!! a PHENOMENON!!! Her
_prad_ too, _Old Vingarillo_, is also a picture of _goodness_, from his
_peepers_ down to his _fetlocks_! Therefore, my worthy sportsmen, do not
lose this opportunity--be not too late--but purchase this great
curiosity--this _List_ of _lists_--nothing like it having occurred in
Yorkshire, or, in any other part of the globe since Noah's flood--either
before or since the wet season of the year; and it is _York Minster_ to a
_brass farden_ that nothing like it can occur again till we have a new
generation of the human race? _That's a fact!!!_"

=Buckingham, Thomas.=--Comedian and Comic-singer, died September 2, 1847,
aged 52.

=Buffers.=--Dogs. _Buff-napper_, a dog stealer.

=Broom.=--To brush, to run away.

=Browns.=--Half-pence and pence--"Got any _browns_, Jem, for a drop o'
Max? No, Bill, not never a von left; s'elp me criky."

=Buffs--Buffaloes--and Buffaloism.=--A society held at the Harp Tavern in
Great Russell Street, opposite Drury Lane Theatre, and was first
established in August, 1822, by an eccentric young man of the name of
Joseph Lisle, an artist, in conjunction with Mr. W. Sinnett, a comedian,
to perpetuate, according to their ideas upon the subject, of that hitherto
neglected ballad of "_We'll chase the_ BUFFALO!" The society is composed
of numerous Performers, and other "comical wights" resident in the
metropolis. The ceremony of making a BUFFALO is very simple, yet extremely
ludicrous, and productive of great laughter. At first the person intended
to become a BUFFALO, is seated on a chair in the middle of the room, with
a bandage placed over his eyes. The initiated BUFFALOES are waiting
outside of the door: the orator being decorated with a wig, &c., for the
occasion. On a given signal, they all enter the room, with what they term
the Kangaroo Leap, and jump round the chair of the "DEGRADED WRETCH,"--as
the victim is termed. This is succeeded by a solemn march, and the
following _chaunt_; the BUFFALOES carrying brooms, shovels, mops, and a
large kettle by way of a kettledrum:--

  Bloody-head and raw-bones!
  Bloody-head and raw-bones!
  Be not perplexed,
  This is the text.
  Bloody-head and raw-bones!

The CHARGE is then given to the "_victim_" by the _Primo Buffo_,
accompanied by the most extravagant and ridiculous gestures:--

"DEGRADED WRETCH!--MISERABLE ASHANTEE!!--_Unfortunate individual!!!_--At
least you were so, not a quarter of an hour since. You are now entitled to
divers privileges: you may _masticate_, denticate, chump, grind, swallow,
and devour, in all turnip fields, meadows, and pastures; and moreover, you
have the especial privilege of grazing in Hyde Park;--Think of that my
BUFFALO! You may also drink at all the lakes, rivers, canals, and ponds;
not forgetting the Fleet and lower ditches. You are entitled to partake of
all public dinners,--upon your paying for the same--such are a few of the
advantages you will enjoy! but you must promise to _gore_ and _toss_ all
enemies to BUFFALOISM! You must likewise promise to patronise the _Horns_,
at Kennington; and occasionally visit _Horn_-sey Wood, where you may do
what you like best--_rusticate_, _cogitate_, or _illustrate_, and prove
yourself an _Horn_-ament by respecting the natives of the island of
GOREE-HE!"

The bandage is then removed from the eyes--and the chorus of "_Chase the
Buffalo_," is repeated. The _victim_ is then led into the passage, and
the signs, &c., are given to him, after which he is ushered into the room
with the full chorus of:--

  See! the conquering hero comes,
  Sound the trumpet, beat the drums,
  Sports prepare, the laurels bring,
  Songs of triumph to him sing.

He is then called on for the accustomary fees for liquor, and a small
compliment for the _Buffalo_ in waiting: the expenses are in proportion to
the means, or inclination of the newly-made member. The liquor is
introduced by the chorus altered from the Pirates:--

  "We Buffaloes lead a jolly, jolly life, Fal de, &c., &c."

A blessing is then given by the _Primo Buffo_, reminding the new member
that the greatest characters in the country have solicited to become
BUFFALOES, and the following is sung in solemn style.

  HARPONIANS list unto me,
    And KANGAROOS rejoice!
  And BUFFALOES lift up your _horns_,
    Whilst I lift up my voice.

  Oh! JOSEPH LISLE a painter is,
    And a BUFFALO besides:
  So sit not in the scorner's chair,
    Nor BUFFALOES deride.

  Now BUFFALOES join in a roar,
    Be heard from pole to pole;
  My solemn chaunt is at an end,
    Because you've heard the _whole_!

=Bull.=--A crown. _Half a bull_, half a crown.

=Bunch of Dog's meat.=--A squalling child in arms.

=Bunch of Fives.=--A slang term for the hand or fist.

=Bunch of Onions.=--A watch chain and seals.

=Bunch of Turnips.=--Itinerant fruit vendors, &c.

=Bunter.=--A low loose woman.--"Neither maid, wife, nor widow."

=Burlington Arcade, The=--Piccadilly, London, opened 20th March, 1814.

=Burster.=--A small loaf. A _burster_ and _beeswax_, bread and cheese.

=Bustle.=--Money of any sort or quantity.

=Buzz--Buzzers.=--Pickpockets.

=Buzz Napper.=--A young pickpocket.

=Buzz Napper's Academy.=--A school in which young thieves are trained to
the art. Stow informs us that in 1585 a person named Wotton kept an
_Academy_ for the education and perfection of pickpockets and cut-purses:
two devices were hung up--one was a pocket, and the other was a purse; the
pocket had in it certain counters, and was hung about with hawk's bells,
and over the top did hang a little scaring bell; the purse had silver in
it, and he that could take out a counter without noise of any of the bells
was adjudged a judicial _napper_!


C.

=Cabbage.=--Cloth, stuff, or silk, purloined by tailors and sempstresses,
who are for ever, _snip! snip!! snipping!!!_ _Cuttings_ that serve for
_trimmings_ to an occasional merry-making leg of mutton.

=Cadge, Cadger, Cadging.=--To beg, a beggar, begging of the lowest degree;
a mean sort of thief. Very indefatigable persons in their vocation.

=Cads of the Aristocracy.=--Liveried footman, servants, and all other
hangers on upon the nobility and gentry.

=Cake.=--A silly fellow, cakes being made like him, of very soft dough,
and not over well baked.--Our cake's dough on both sides.--_Shakespeare._

=Call me cousin=--but cozen me not--Quoth Mrs. Saunders.

=Calves gone to Grass.=--Said of a man with slender legs. "He's put some
hay in his boots, and his _calves_ have gone down to feed."

=Calves' Head.=--A tallow-faced fellow, with a large meaty head. "Calves'
head is best hot," was the apology for one of those who made "no bones" of
dining with his hat on.

=Came up to the Scratch.=--A pugilistical phrase; also said of a person
who keeps his appointments in money matters.

=Canary.=--A sovereign. _Canary Birds_, inmates of prisons.

=Canister.=--The head, with a sly allusion to its emptyness. _Cracked
canister_, a broken head.

=Cant.=--A language made use of among beggars, gipsies, thieves, and the
_Fancy_ in general.

=Captain.=--A travelling title, adopted by adventurers, who have no other
good enough.

    Captain is a good travelling name, and so I took it, it stops a good
    many foolish enquiries that are generally made about gentlemen who
    travel; it gives a man an air of something, and makes the drawers
    obedient. And thus far I am a captain, and no farther.--_Farquhar's,
    The Beaux's Stratagem._

=Captain Flasham.=--A blustering, bounceable fellow.

=Captain Queernabs.=--A shabby ill-dressed fellow.

=Carcase Lords.=--Wholesale butchers who monopolise and forstall the
markets.--"For wheresoever the _carcase_ is, there will the eagles be
gathered together."

=Card.=--A man, who may be a _knowing_, a _downy_, _cunning_, _shifting_,
_queer_, or any other sort of CARD according to circumstances.

=Cart Wheel.=--A five shilling piece.

=Carving knife.=--A sword.

=Castle Tavern.=--_The Castle Tavern, Holborn_, was first opened as a
Sporting House by the well-known BOB GREGSON; but designated at that
period under the familiar title of BOB'S CHOP HOUSE:--

  His house is known to all the _milling_ train;
  He gives them liquor, and relieves their pain.

The appearance of Bob Gregson was prepossessing--he was in height six feet
one inch and a half, weighing about fifteen stone six pounds. It is rather
singular to relate that Bob Gregson rose in the estimation of the Sporting
World, from defeat, he fought only three battles in the P.R., and lost
them all--thus, beaten by John Gulley, 200 gns., 36 rds., near Newmarket,
Oct. 14, 1807. Again beaten by John Gulley, 200 gns., 75 mins., 28 rds.,
May 10, 1808. Beaten by Tom Cribb, 500 gns., 23 rds., Moulsey Hurst, Oct.
25, 1808. The sun for a long time shone brilliantly over the "Temple of
the Fancy," but poor Bob, like too many of his class, did not make hay
while it was in his power; when the scene changed, the clouds of
misfortune overwhelmed him; and the once sprightly, gay Lancashire hero
was compelled to beat an inglorious retreat. The stylish, well-conducted
TOM BELCHER, next appeared in the character of landlord of the Castle. The
house had undergone some repairs, the rooms were all retouched by the
painter; elegance with cleanliness, backed by civility, became the order
of the day; a prime stock of liquors and wines were also laid in to
command the attendance of the public. _Tom's_ opening dinner was
completely successful, and the _Fancy_ rallied round a hero who had so
nobly contended for victory in thirteen prize battles. Tom was also
considered the most accomplished boxer of the day; and the remembrance,
likewise, that he was the brother of the renowned Jem Belcher, were
_points_ in themselves of great attractions in the Sporting World; and the
above Tavern again became one of the most favourite resorts of the _Fancy_
in general. Tom Belcher, after fourteen years residence at the Castle, was
enabled by his civil conduct, attention to business, good luck, and a good
quantity of the "_Sweeteners of Life_" with BANK! security against a rainy
day, he retired to a very handsome cottage on Finchley Common, living at
his ease like a man of fortune, with his dog and his gun. TOM
SPRING--Champion of England--next appeared in the character of "Mine Host"
at the Castle Tavern. "His appearance" said Pierce Egan--"is very much in
his favour; and there is a manly dignity about his person which is
prepossessing, his language is also mild and perfectly correct; and his
behavour at all times truly civil and attentive to his customers." A night
spent at Tom Spring's may not be regretted by the most _fastidious_
visitor. If the _ears_ cannot at all times be gratified with the various
topics of argument brought forward; the _eyes_ have no cause for
complaint, the coffee room and every part of it is covered over with some
attractive device, and if there are not so many pictures for criticism as
may be seen at the EXHIBITION, there are a number of most excellent
sporting subjects well worthy the attention of the observer. One of the
most prominent amongst them for a display of talent is a "Picture of the
Road going to the Fight" drawn and etched from life by Robert Criukshank,
Esq., but often attributed to his brother, George Cruikshank. As this is
not the fact, and as the opportunity occurs we hasten to set the matter
right, in order that every _tub_ may stand upon its own bottom, or, in
other words, that the saddle may be put on the right horse. Soon after the
above "_Picture of the Road to the Fight_" was hung up at the Castle
Tavern, I met there one evening my two friends, Mr. Hone (the very clever
editor of the 'Every Day Book' and several other publications of merit)
and Mr. George Cruikshank. On looking at the picture, Mr. Hone said to me,
after praising it to the skies, "George has out-done himself!" "No," I
replied, "you mean Bob Cruikshank." "Indeed, I do not," answered Mr. H.,
"I repeat, that George has out-done himself; and more clever touches of
art I never saw--they are beautiful!" "Well," said I, "if you are so
positive, Mr. Hone, I will bet you anything you like, from a glass of grog
to a five pound note, that Bob Cruikshank accompanied myself down the Road
to Moulsey Hurst, to accomplish the above picture." Upon Mr. Hone
appealing to George Cruikshank on the subject, the latter celebrated
artist, without the least hesitation, answered, "_I had no hand in it_."
After this declaration, Mr. Hone did not attempt to retract the
compliments he had paid to the merits of the picture in question; but, of
course, they now operated with double effect on the talents of Mr. Robert
Cruikshank. In conclusion, I have only to observe that the Castle Tavern
is open at all times to the visitor, either to confute my representation
of it, or to verify the truth of my assertion--but of this circumstance I
feel strongly assured that an evening spent at the above sporting house
will never prove a source of regret to the stranger who is anxious to
witness some of the peculiarities of "LIFE IN LONDON."

=Castor.=--A hat. To prig a _castor_, to steal a hat.

=Cast-your-Skin.=--To pull off your clothes.

=Champagne.=--Charles Wright, of the Haymarket, London, and elsewhere, is
the purveyor _par excellence!_ of this sparkling and spirit-stirring
nectar, which being good in quality and moderate in price he is patronized
by all the _knowing kiddies_ in town and country. But do not take my word
for it, but call in and judge for yourself.

=Champions of England.=--From 1719 to 1857.--FIGG 1719.--GEORGE TAYLOR
1734.--JACK BROUGHTON 1740.--JACK SLACK 1750.--JEM STEPHENS 1760.--GEORGE
MEGGS 1761.--BILL DARTS 1764.--TOM LYONS 1769.--HARRY SELLERS
1777.--JOHNSON 1785.--BEN RYAN 1790.--MENDOZA 1792.--JOHN JACKSON
(retired) 1795.--JEM BELCHER 1803.--PEARCE (the Game Chicken) 1805.--GULLY
(declined the office) 1808.--TOM CRIBB (received a belt, not transferable,
and cup) 1809.--TOM SPRING (received four cups, and resigned office)
1824.--JEM WARD (received a belt, not transferable) 1825.--DEAF BURKE
(claimed the office) 1833.--BENDIGO (beat Deaf Burke, claimed
championship, and received a belt from Jem Ward).--BEN CAUNT (beat Nick
Ward, and received a transferrable belt by subscription) 1841.--BENDIGO
(beat Caunt, and got the belt) 1845.--PERRY (the Tipton Slasher, after his
fight with TOM PADDOCK, claimed the office, as Bendigo declined fighting
again) 1850.--HARRY BROOME (beat Perry, and succeeded to the office)
1851.--PERRY (again claimed the office, Harry Broome having forfeited to
him in a match, and retired from the ring) 1853.--The office still claimed
by the Tipton Slasher, who, during 1856 received forfeit from both Tom
Paddock and Aaron Jones, 1857.

=Charley.=--A London watchman before the introduction of the present
system of police.

=Chaunt.=--To sing or to make known.--The birds _chaunt_ melody on every
bush.

=Chaunter.=--A puffer, or hired bidder at a sale. _See_ HORSE CHAUNTER.

=Chawbacons.=--Country clodhoppers, rustics.

=Cherry-colour.=--A jocular name given to either of the two colours in a
pack of cards. A black cat is said to be a _cherry-coloured_ cat, there
being _black_ as well as _red_ cherries.

=Children in the Wood.=--Dice.--"Once before he won it of me by false
dice."

=Chivey.=--To run after, to chase, to move off quickly.

=Chivey your Nurse.=--To get rid of your tutor, guardian, father, &c.

=Chovey.=--A shop as _crocus chovey_, a chemist shop, &c.

=Chum.=--A companion, a bedfellow, a fellow prisoner.

=Church going Stays.=--That is best stays for special purposes.

=Churchwarden.=--A very long clay pipe.

=Churchyard Cough.=--A cough that is likely to terminate in death.

=Church with a Chimney in it.=--A public house.

=Civil Rig.=--A trick of the beggars to obtain money by _ultra_ civility.

=Clap of Thunder.=--A glass of brandy.

=Claret.=--Blood. "I tapped him on the nose and out flew the claret."
_Claret-faced_, having a red face.

=Clean gone.=--Quite out of sight, vacated, levanted.

=Cleaned Out.=--Having lost all your money, beaten, ruined. "O horrid,
horrid case."

=Clean Shirt Day.=--Sunday.

=Clenched it.=--Completed the thing, or _clenched_ the bargain.

=Clockey.=--A watchman, also a travelling clockmaker.

=Cly.=--A pocket, _cly-fakers_, pickpockets.

=Coal.=--Money, _post-the-coal_, pay down the money at once.

=Cock and Hen Club.=--A public-house concert, or _Free-and-Easy_, to which
women are admitted, and everybody is supposed to do as they like, to stand
upon no ceremony, come when they please, and _brush_ when it suits. But
all sorts of _lush_ must be _tipped_ for on delivery. "POOR TRUST" being
dead and buried.--"To keep the game alive," LOGIC said to TOM and JERRY,
"you shall now accompany me to what is termed a COCK AND HEN CLUB. Where
you may say and do as you like, the _crib_ is situated in an obscure part
of the town, but I know it well." * * * On entering the club-room JERRY
was struck with astonishment at the surrounding group. "It is nothing new
to me," replied LOGIC, "but rather a renewed feature of low Life in
London. But we will ask the waiter for some little account about the
chairman, who appears to me to be an original; and we must also obtain, if
possible, a trifling outline of his assistant, the _Lady Patroness_ of
this meeting. The chairman in petticoats."

"They are both _out-and-outers_," answered the waiter, "and nothing like
them on earth to keep such an unruly company together, as '_Any-thing_
TOMMY' and '_Half-quartern_ LUCE!' The chairman TOMMY, has been, by turns,
a costard-monger, a coal-whipper, a flying dustman, a boner of
_stiff-ones_--that's a resurrection man, and a "_anything_," to yarn an
honest penny, and a bit of a prig, if it suited him, sooner than have to
complain of an empty _Victualling-Office_. He can throw off a flash
_chaunt_ in the first style; and patter _slang_, better than most blades
on the town:"--

  Come all you rolling kiddy boys, that in London does abound,
  If you wants to see a bit of life, go to the _Bull in the Pound_;
  'Tis there you'll see Poll, Bet, and Sal, with many other _Flames_,
  And "pitch and hustle," "ring the bull," and lots of _Fancy_ games.

"As to _Half-quartern_ LUCE," continued the waiter, "she's a clever woman,
in fact, she was reared a real lady, but now she is scarcely ever sober. I
have known her to drink thirty-six half-quarterns of gin in a day; it is
from her love of _blue ruin_ she derives her name. LUCE was once a very
handsome woman, but she has been reduced, step by step, to the wretched
creature she now appears to be, and drinks herself stupid to drown all
reflections."

"I have witnessed a great variety of scenes, since I have been in London,"
said JERRY to LOGIC, "but this is equal to any, if it does not _beggar_
the whole of them, in truth, I had not the least idea that such meetings
were suffered to take place."

=Coffee Mill.=--A watchman's rattle.

=College.=--The Fleet Prison, or King's Bench, a rough school, but
salutary at times, _collegiates_, the prisoners.

=Coper.=--or Horse couper--a cheating horse dealer. See HORSE CHAUNTER.

=Core.=--The heart.--In my heart's core.--_Horatio._

=Cooped up.=--Confined in the _Poultry Counter_, or elsewhere.

=Chaffer.=--The mouth.

=Chaffing Crib.=--A drinking-room where quizzing or bantering is carried
on. _Chaff-cutting_, joking, jesting, playing on words.

=Chalk, A.=--An advantage. _Take a chalk_, the admitting of the advantage.
In public-houses it is usual for the _habitues_ to keep the score of a
game of cards, dominoes, or coddom, &c., by means of chalk marks thus, | |
| | |; therefore when one of the parties gains an advantage, he _takes a
chalk_ by rubbing one out.

=Chalk Farm.=--A well-known tavern and tea-garden, near Primrose-hill,
_alias_ Cockney-mount, between Hampstead and Highgate. This house is said
to have taken its name from the farm being of a chalky soil, or, do they
use _double chalk!_ to their customers, who frequent this house either for
amusement--or mischief! the "_farm_" is much resorted to by those persons
who cannot settle a dispute without the use of powder and shot. Hence
_Jemmy Green_ says--"Vell, I'm glad its settled vithout bloodshed--Chalk
Farm! pistols! half-past six!--Pooh!!!"

=Chalk Up.=--To have credit at a public-house, where they usually _chalk
up_ the amount behind the door, or on a large slate kept for that purpose.

=Copy of Uneasiness.=--A copy of a writ.

=Corinthians.=--Sporting men of rank and fashion:--I am no proud Jack,
Like Falstaff, but a _Corinthian_, a lad of mettle.--_Shakespeare._

=Corinthian Kate=--and her friend SUE.--In the original _Life in London_
these ladies were meant as _sketches in water colours_ of the notorious
_Mrs. Maples_, alias _Mrs. Bertram_, alias _Mother Bang_; and the no less
notorious _Harriett Wilson_, alias _Mrs. Colonel Rochfort_; heroines whose
"birth, parentage, and education--life, character, and behaviour," have
been made execrable by that congenial pair of publishers in infamy
_Messrs. Stockdale_ and _Duncombe_:--The characters of KATE and SUE are in
rather _different keeping_ in the dramatic version, and are at the service
of any couple of modest, harmless, though at the same time somewhat
adventurous, love-sick, roving young ladies, that may choose to claim
them.

=Costermonger.=--See my friend Hone's Jewel of a Work, for Instruction and
Amusement, the Every Day Book, Vol. I.

=Cousin Betty.=--A travelling prostitute, frequenting fairs, races, and
country club feasts.--"Ah! could you but see _Bet Bouucer_ of these parts,
you might then talk of beauty. Ecod! she has two eyes as black as sloes,
and cheeks as broad and red as a pulpit cushion." _Tony Lumpkin_: SHE
STOOPS TO CONQUER.

=Cove, or Covey.=--A knowing fellow, _covess_ feminine of _cove_. _Covess
of the Ken_, the mistress of the house.

=Cover me Decently.=--A great coat with men, and a cloak with women.

=Court Card.=--A trump, or out and out good one. A spirited fellow.

=Crack.=--The fashionable theme. The _Go! All the crack!_ First-rate, as
a _crack article_, an excellent one; _crack a bottle_, to drink; _crack a
crib_, to break into a house; _crack a canister_, to break a man's head; a
_crack-fencer_, one who sells nuts; a _crack hand_, an adept; _in a
crack_, in a moment; _crack a kirk_, to break into a church or chapel;
_crack_, horses--men--races--regiments, &c., all first class of their
kinds; _crack-up_, to praise; to _crack a whid_ or _wheeze_, to make a
joke, jokes or witticism; a _crack-whip_, a good coachman.

=Crib.=--A house, or an apartment.

=Cribb's Crib.=--A slang alliteration for Tom Cribb's house, the _Union
Arms_, corner of Oxendon Street and Panton Street, Haymarket.

=Cross.=--A very general term for getting a living by dishonest means, and
symbolized by placing the forefingers thus [X], and is in direct
opposition to being on the [square], as implying honesty. A
_cross-fight_, a sold prize fight. _Cross-men_, thieves and receivers of
every degree. _Cross-crib_, a public-house where thieves "most do
congregate."

=Crowdsman.=--A fiddler.

=Cubitt's Machine.=--The treadmill.

=Cucumbers.=--Tailors, because both are seedy.

=Cut along Coaches.=--The accidents of life.

=Cyprians.=--Women of loose morals. So called from the Island of Cyprus,
one of the chief seats of the worship of Venus, hence called Cypria.

=Cruikshank, Isaac Robert.=--Caricaturist, born 1791. Illustrated many
books, &c., including Pierce Egan's, "The FINISH to the Adventures of TOM,
JERRY, and LOGIC, in their pursuits through LIFE in and out of London,"
1827. Died March 13, 1856.

=Cruikshank, George.=--Caricaturist, born September 27, 1792. Illustrated
Hone's political squibs, 1817-20; "Peter Schlemil, Mornings at
Bow-Street," and in conjunction with his brother "TOM AND JERRY," and many
other books since, died 1879.


D.

=Dab.=--A bed, also a slight blow, as a _dab_ on the cheek.

=Daffy.=--Gin, Gin, sweet, sweet Gin! Pierce Egan says in his "BOOK OF
SPORTS and MIRROR OF LIFE."--"During the time Tom Belcher was the landlord
of the Castle Tavern, Holborn, the DAFFY CLUB was started by Mr. James
Soares"--_See_ BARON NAB'EM.--"The above club is a complete antidote to
the _Blue Devils_, and has to boast of greater advantages than any other
Society in the Metropolis, from its members being always in _Spirits_!
Formality does not belong to this Institution; it has no written rules to
bind its members; no specified time of meeting; no fines for
non-attendance; but the corner-stone is "TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT."--The only
_definition_ I can give to the term "DAFFY" is that the phrase was coined
at the _Mint_ of _Fancy_, and has since passed _current_ without being
overhauled as _queer_. The _squeamish_ Fair One who takes the DAFFY
regularly on the _sly_ merely to cure the _vapours_, politely names it to
her friends as "_White Wine_." The _Swell chaffs_ it as "_Blue Ruin_" to
elevate his notions. The _Laundress_ loves dearly a drain of "_Ould Tom_,"
from its strength to _comfort_ her inside. The _drag Fiddler_ can _toss
off_ a quartern of "_Max_" without making a wry mug. The _Coster Monger_
illumines his ideas with "_a flash of lightning_." The _hoarse Cyprian_
owes her existence to copious draughts of "_Jacky_." The _Link Boy_ and
_Mud Larks_, in joining their _browns_ together, are for some "_Stark
Naked_." And the _Out and Outers_, from the addition of _bitters_ to it in
order to sharpen up a dissipated and damaged _Victualling Office_, cannot
take any thing but "_Fuller's Earth_." Much it should seem, therefore,
depends upon a name; and as a soft sound is at all times pleasing to the
_listener_--to have denominated the Sporting Society the "GIN CLUB," would
not only have proved barbarous to the ear, but the vulgarity of the
_chaunt_ might have deprived it of many of its elegant friends. It is a
subject, however, which must be admitted has a good deal of _Taste_
belonging to it--and as a Sporting Man would be _nothing_ if he was not
_flash_, the DAFFY CLUB meet under the above title."

=Dairies.=--Bosom--a woman's breasts. Milk-cans!

=Dandy.=--A coxcomb, a fop; an empty-headed, vain person. In 1820, when
Geo. III. _mizzled_, and Geo. IV. _reigned_ with _thunder_ and _lightning_
speed. Pierce Egan published the birth, parentage, and education of the
Dandy thus: THE DANDY was got by _Vanity_ out of _Affectation_--his dam,
_Petit-Maitre_ or _Maccaroni_--his grand-dam, _Fribble_--great-grand-dam,
_Bronze_--his great-great-great-grand-dam, _Coxcomb_--and his earliest
ancestor, _Fop_. His uncle _Impudence_--his three brothers _Trick_,
_Humbug_, and _Fudge_! and allied to the extensive family of the
_Shuffletons_. Indeed, this _Bandbox_ sort of creature took so much the
lead in the walks of fashion, that the BUCK was totally missing; the BLOOD
vanished; the TIPPY not to be found, the GO out of date; the DASH not to
be met with; and the _Bang-up_ without a leader, at fault, and in the
back-ground. It was only the CORINTHIAN that remained triumphant--his
excellence was of such a _genuine_ quality that all _imitation_ was left
at an immeasurable distance.

=Dandiprat.=--An insignificent or trifling fellow.

=Dandy-cock.=--A little _dandy_ man, one of the Bantam breed.

=Darkey.=--Night, also a man of colour.

=Dead-beat.=--Quite done up, not a leg to stand on. Common phrases in the
Sporting World, when a man or a horse is so completely exhausted with
over-exertion, or the constitution breaking down, as to give up the object
in view, not being able to pursue it any farther.

=Deadly's Fluid.=--Gin, distilled at Deady and Hanley's, Hampstead Road.

=Dealer's in Queer.=--Passers of bad notes.

=Demirep.=--A flighty woman, too free in her manners.

=Devil's Bones.=--Dice, which are made of bones and lead to ruin.

=Dibdin, Charles.=--Writer of sea songs and operas, born 1745, died July
25, 1814. His _evergreen!_ Ballad Opera, The Waterman; or, The First of
August, was first performed at the Haymarket Theatre, 1774, thus cast:--

  _Tom Tug_         Mr. Bannister.
  _Bundle_          Mr. Wilson.
  _Robin_           Mr. Weston.
  _Mrs. Bundle_     Mrs. Thompson.
  _Wilhelmina_      Mrs. Jewell.

=Dimmock.=--Money. _To flap the dimmock_, to spend the money.

=Dive.=--A visit to the lower regions of Wapping and St. Giles's.

=Diamond Squad.=--People of quality. _Vide_ Almack's.

=Dog Billy.=--The--This celebrated Hero of the canine race to the great
joy of the rats, lost his _wind_ on Monday, February 23, 1829, in Panton
Street, Haymarket. The body-snatchers and _dog-priggers_ are out-done
upon this suit, and the remains of Billy, instead of being obscured in
_clay_, are preserved in an elegant glass case and gilt frame. The
Ex-Champion, Tom Cribb, who _liked_ BILLY when _alive_, still likes him
although _told out_. Billy was the property of Charley Aistrop when he
last _barked_ out an adieu; although Cribb was his tender nurse up to the
time when he gave up the ghost. The rats it is said, are extremely glad to
find Billy has left no _successor_ to give them a nip.

MONODY ON THE ABOVE RAT KILLER.

  Not a _bark_ was heard--but a mournful whine
  Broke in cadence slow from the race canine;
  And the prick'd-up ear, and wagging tail,
  Were drooping low 'mid the general wail.

       *       *       *       *       *

  Not a _bark_ was heard--but a lively squeak
  Was echoed from rat to rat (a whole week),
  From Whitechapel Church to Piccadilly,
  Of "Long _life_ to grim _Death_--for _boning_ BILLY!"

=Done the thing Right.=--Managed matters properly, taken care of
one's-self and one's friend.

=Dollop.=--A handful. A lump of anything.

=Dominoes.=--The teeth.

=Down.=--Understanding. To be _down_. To understand, to be _fly_.

=Doxies.=--Loose women--prostitutes.

=Dragging-Time.=--The evening of a fair-day, when the wenches are pulled
about.

=Draggle-Tail.=--A slut, a dunghill quean.

=Drinking Freely.=--Not paying for it.

=Drop.=--The gallows, which always proves to be the "_last drop_," or "_a
drop too much_."

=Duce.=--Twopence.

=Dummy.=--A cant phrase for a stupid fellow; a man who has not a word to
say for himself. The family of the _dummies_ is a very numerous one.

=Dust.=--Money. Down with the _dust_, to spend money.

=Dust-Hole.=--The nose, otherwise _Snuff-receiver_!

=Dustman.=--Sleep, or drowsiness.

=Dustypoll.=--A nickname for a miller.


E.

=Earth Stoppers.=--Horses' feet. _Earth Stopping_, stopping up the holes
of foxes previously to hunting them.

=Egg-Hot.=--Beer, eggs, spirits, sugar, and spice made hot.

=Everlasting Shoes.=--The feet.

=Everlasting Staircase.=--The treadmill.

=Eye Water.=--Gin.


F.

=Face.=--Impudence; _To face it out_. To persist in an assertion which is
not true. To maintain without changing colour, or hanging down the head.
_Brazen-faced_, without shame.--God hath given you one face, and you make
yourself another.--_Shakespeare._

=Fadge.=--To suit or fit together--"How will this fadge?" also a street
term for a farthing.

=Family People.=--Rogues and thieves of every degree: All of the same
_family_ or _Kidney_!--There is nothing but roguery to be found in
villianous man.--_Shakespeare._

=Fancy.=--Boxing, bull baiting, cock fighting, and sporting in general.

=Fancy Piece.=--A sporting phrase for a bit of nice _game_ kept in a
_preserve_ in the suburbs. A sort of _Bird of Paradise_.

=Fast trotters.=--Rum prads, good horses.

=Felt.=--A hat.--"What manner of man? is his head worth a hat."

=Fib.=--To beat or strike with the fist. _Fibbed_, held with one hand, and
hit with the other.

=Fiddle.=--A rattle, _Charleys' fiddle_, a Watchman's rattle.

=Fiddler's Fare.=--Meat, drink and money.

=Fig.=--To _fig_ a horse is to place a bit of ginger under his tail to
make him frisky. _Fig_, dress. In _Full Fig_, full dress.--"All in the
best."

=Fig leaf.=--An apron, an allusion to our Mother Eve.

=File.=--An odd fellow, a queer dog, a bit of a rogue.

=Finish.=--The "_Finish_" was a notorious night-house kept by Jack
Rowbottom, in James-street, Covent Garden. Here the swells who were
_bundled_ out of Offley's, about four o'clock in the morning _bundled_
into the FINISH, where drinking and other _innocent_ pastimes were kept up
till eight, nine, or ten o'clock. Jack Rowbottom was quite a study in
character. Soon after 1832, he got into "diffs," and his residence was
divided between the King's Bench and the Fleet Prison. In the latter poor
Dr. Maginn expired in his arms, after being faithfully nursed and attended
by Jack during a long illness.

=Fish--Fishing=:--Some fish for compliments, and get what they want. Some
fish in dirty waters and get what they do not want: but remain _as mute as
a fish_ on the subject.

=Fives.=--'Bunch of _Fives_,' the fist--_Fives Court_ (The) was a large
room in the neighbourhood of St. Martin's-lane, where the prize fighters
of the day took their Benefits and made open challenges.

=Flame.=--A sweetheart. _An old flame_, a discarded one.

=Flash.=--Cant language, also to sport or show off. A fellow who affects
any particular habit, as swearing, dressing in a particular manner, taking
a fashionable snuff, &c., &c., merely to be noticed, is said to do it out
of _flash_. _Flashman_, a despicable wretch and the paramour of a
prostitute.

=Flash of Lightning.=--A glass of gin, "gone in the twinkling of an eye."

=Flat Catcher.=--A man, woman, or any article intended to take in the
public.

=Flat= _cum_ =Sharp:= _par nobile fratrum_.--There is not a word in cant
or flash vocabulary, nor, in the English language, taken in its right
sense and meaning, that conveys so much, and is so generally applicable,
as the simple monosyllable FLAT. There are _flats_ of every rank, grade,
and station in society, in every part of the known world--and possibly in
the unexplored portion also. There are _flats_ alike in office and out; in
the senate house and in the cottage--from the councillor of state to the
omega of legislators, parochial vestrymen! Oh, most comprehensive
patronymic! SHARP is also a good term; but only a cipher, in numerical
strength of application, when compared with _flat_. Flat is an
independent, honest, and respectable word. Sharp is diametrically
opposite; it owes its very birth to _flat_, and cannot live without it.
_Flat_ is the parent; progenitor, and preserver of _sharp_, the very root
and sap of its existence. Without flats sharps would become extinct. The
fact of _sharp_ having sprung from _flat_ is so apparent, that there is
not a _sharp_ to be found that has not a _flat_ about him; there
consanguinity, therefore, is undoubted.

Such is human nature, that three parts of the vast universe is peopled
with _flats_; while the circumscribed and degenerated race of _sharps_ do
not occupy more than a quarter or one fourth of the space. Another proof
may be adduced of the independence of the _flats_, and that is that they
can live, flourish, and prosper much better without the company of
_sharps_ than with it. Not so with the _sharps_. They cannot herd and feed
together without first getting the means from the substance and resources
of the _flats_. We think we have satisfactorily proved to every
dispassionate, disinterested individual, that _sharps_ are entirely
dependent upon their fathers and forefathers, the _flats!_ and there can
be very little doubt but that they are both ungrateful and undutiful to
the parents who have, as we have shown, given them being, succour, the
means of existence.

If a _sharp_ happens to reside in the neighbourhood of a _flat_, he will
always be found setting his wits to work to relieve him of his property
and earnings, even though the _sharp_ have plenty, and the flat but
little. Such is the undutiful _penchant_ of the _sharp_ for the goods and
chattels of his progenitor the flat!

In this good city, not inappropriately denominated the world's metropolis,
_flats_ and _sharps_ are plentiful, and may be found located together in
every street and alley. Although the _flats_ have the advantage
numerically, such are the ingenuity and plausible tactics of the
_sharps_, that they compel the _flats_ to work to support them. The
_sharps_, though industrious at scheming, always profess, as their creed,
a profound and rooted contempt for manual labour. Sharps are not found
among gravel-diggers or stone-breakers; we may go further--seldom amongst
artisans or mechanics of any description. No, they are men whose exalted
minds soar far above the ordinary pursuits even of middle life. The army
boasts of them in abundance. The navy may be said to be composed of
_flats_, with scarcely one exception. The attachment of the _sharps_ to
the red-coat service of their country is clearly demonstrated by the fact
of the _elite_ of their class conferring military titles on themselves,
without troubling the formal publicity of the _Gazette_! We may safely
venture to assert, that there is not an army of any nation that can boast
of the number of staff-officers that adorn the lists of our royal corps of
London _malleteers_, otherwise gentlemen sharps. They resemble our
disbanded militia, only the staff preserved. It is said and sung that "One
half the world does not know how the other half lives--or dies." How true
is that oft-used aphorism? What quiet, respectable, church-going citizen
would believe that, early as he rises to give his best care to the
legitimate commerce of his enterprise, there are many traders in the
illegitimate mercantile world who are wide awake, and in full pursuit of
their customers long before his drowsy eyes are open to the
brightly-shining sun; long before the aforesaid shining sun has superseded
the gas-light radiance shed over the populous city of London:--

  From East-end to West-end.
  From worst end to best end?

=Flats.=--Persons easily taken in, good customers.

=Flesh and Blood.=--Port wine and brandy mixed.

=Flimsy.=--A bank note, according to Cobbett a very _flimsy_ thing.

=Floored.=--Knocked down.

=Flowers of Society.=--The ornaments of high life, the upper classes.

=Flue Fakers.=--Chimney sweepers.

=Fly.=--Knowing, wide awake.

=Fogle.=--A handkerchief.

=Fork out.=--To give money.

=Four Eyes.=--The man and the spectacles.

=Free-and-Easy.=--A singing-club, held at public-houses.

=Freshwater Bay.=--The _harbour_ of the _Fleet_-Prison.

=Frisk.=--Mischief, to dance and skip about.

=Fullams.=--Loaded dice. There were high _fullams_, and low _fullams_, to
denote loaded on the high or low number.

=Full Cry.=--When all the hounds have caught the scent, and give tongue,
Tom and Jerry, when in town, had other _game_ in view.

=Fuller's Earth.=--Another of the thousand endearing names for the
universal favourite GIN! GIN!! GIN!!!

=Funk.=--To smoke, to alarm.


G.

=Gab.=--Small talk, patter, flash. _Gift of the Gab_, talent in
conversation.

=Gaffing.=--Low gambling.

=Game of the Spell.=--The play of life.

=Gammoners.=--Cheats.

=Gammoning the Draper.=--When a man is without a shirt, and is buttoned up
close to his neck, with merely a handkerchief round it, to make an
appearance of cleanliness, it is termed "_gammoning the draper_!"

=Gammoning a Main.=--Pretending to be hurt, or crippled.

=Garnish.=--Entrance money, to be spent in drink, demanded of all
newcomers in Debtor's Prisons.

=Gay Tyke Boys.=--Dog fanciers.

=Gig.=--Fun. _Bit of gig_, a bit of fun.

=Gin Spinners.=--Distillers, also publicans.

=Glim.=--A lanthorn, a hazy eye, &c.

=Goldfinches.=--Sovereigns.--"Fine singing birds."

=Go it.=--Keep it up: keep moving.

=Gomersal, Edward Alexander=, Actor: represented with wonderful success
Napoleon, in the Astley's dramatic version of the Battle of Waterloo, died
at Leeds, October 19th, 1862, aged 74.

=Grand-twig.=--Handsome set out.

=Grand Strut--The.=--Rotten Row, Hyde Park.

=Gravel Digger.=--A sharp toe'd dancer.

=Greeks.=--Black legs, sharpers, &c. Also a term for low Irish People.

=Green.=--Raw, not understanding.

=Greyhound, A.=--Should have according to all sporting Kiddies:--

  A head like a snake, a neck like a drake,
  A back like a beam, a belly like a bream:
  A foot like a cat, a tail like a rat.

=Grimaldi, Joseph.= _Vulgo_, Joey Grimaldi, the renowned clown, 1779-1837.

=Grog.=--Rum and water cold without. Admiral Vernon was called "_Old
Grog_" by his sailors, because he was accustomed to walk the deck in rough
weather in a "grogram cloak," as he was the first to serve water in the
rum on board ship, the mixture went by the name of _Grog_. TOM, JERRY and
BOB LOGIC found out its _use_ and _abuse_ not only in the _Back Slums_ in
the _Holy Land_, but at Mr. Mace's _Crib_ in the East.

=Grub.=--It is scarcely necessary to explain the meaning of _grub_; it is
a subject in the _mouth_ of everybody, and therefore interesting to the
_taste_. Indeed, this sort of _cant_ is quite current throughout all ranks
of society, and is well understood.--_Grub and Bub_, victuals and drink of
any kind.

=Grub-street.=--This phrase, respecting the _residence_ of AUTHORS, is
nearly obsolete; and, in point of fact, is altogether erroneous. If it
might not be deemed trespassing rather too _feelingly_ upon so delicate a
subject, in consulting the best authorities, both living and dead, it will
be found that _hungry_ AUTHORS, in the best of times, have had very little
to do with _grub-street_! the _smell_ of the joint being more within their
province than the actual possession of the substance.

=Guinea Pig.=--A fellow who receives a _guinea_ for puffing off an unsound
horse.


H.

=Habeas Corpus.=--Body and breeches.

=Haberdasher.=--Is the whistler, otherwise the spirit-merchant--and _tape_
the commodity he deals in. It is a contrabrand article dispensed in
Debtor's Goals. White is _Max_, and red is _Cognac_.--"You see" says the
_Haberdasher_, "smuggling does a lot of _good_, it does me _good_, and it
does you _good_, and do'nt you see it _does_ the Government!"

=Hack.=--A coach. _See_ JARVEY.

=Half and Half Coves.=--Neither one thing nor the other.

=Hammer School.=--Boxing School.

=Harp.=--The Harp tavern in Russell Street, Drury Lane, is well known--if
the phrase is not offensive to the profession, as a House of Call for
Actors. Here you have an opportunity of viewing, and interviewing players
in and out of an engagement, stage-struck youths, anxious to become
actors; and other perfect enthusiasts, together with _mummers_, and
_spongers_ without end, ever ready to get _Lush_ out of you, or make you a
member of the _City of Lushington_! _see_ Buffaloism.

  Then off he went, quite full of glee,
    Strutting towards the HARP,
  In hopes some manager to see;
    Mixing with _Flat_ and _Sharp_!
                                  Pierce Egan's--_The Show Folks_.

=Hartland, Frederick=, Pantomimist, died August 17th, 1852, aged 70.

=Hear any thing knock.=--Take the office, to be put up to any thing that
is going forward.

=Heavy Plodders.=--Stock brokers.

=Heavy Wet.=--Porter.

=Hedge.=--_To_ "_hedge off_," or "_its a prime hedge for me_," are phrases
repeatedly made use of in the Sporting World, when an individual wishes to
save himself from any serious consequences.

=Heel Tap.=--"Bumpers all round," and no _heel-taps_! "that is," said BOB
LOGIC, "your glasses are to be drained to the bottom."

=Hell.=--A gambling house, from the _infernal_ practices carried on in
such places. In 1823 Lord Byron wrote--"What number of Hells there may be
now in this life, I know not. Before I was of age, I knew them pretty
accurately, both "Gold" and "Silver." I was once nearly called out by an
acquaintance, because, when he asked me where I thought that his soul
would be found hereafter, I answered, 'In Silver Hell.'"--

    Don Juan, our young diplomatic sinner,
  Pursued his path, and drove past some hotels,
  St. James's Palace, and St. James's Hells.

=Hells upon Earth.=--Is a name given to the _Swell Gambling-houses_, at
the West-end of the town; most of them situated in the vicinity of St.
James' Street. Some of the principal of these have been _queered
outright_, by the vigilance and exertions of the _beaks_, whose orders to
the _traps_ upon the subject were so imperative, that taking _tip to
stash_ the matter, was quite out of the question; and some of the most
distinguished _Spirits_ that haunted these infernal abodes, were actually
put under the discipline of _Cubitt's Machine_ to purify. But though the
amateur of the _broads_ may as he perambulates the suburbs of the Palace,
see reason in many instances, to mourn for the desolation of his ZION,
there are still enough of these places to make "a HELL upon earth" for
thousands. All of these now remaining, are however eclipsed by the
_piscatory Hell_, called _Fishmongers' Hall_! so named, from CROCKFORD,
the keeper of it, having formerly been a Fishmonger, many persons remember
CROCKFORD, a poor, very poor _Sprat Seller_, yet he must now be living at
the rate of nearly L4000, annum.--"_Tempora mutantur, nos et mutamur in
illis._" at this establishment money is sported like _dirt_, which may
account for so many of the visitors being _cleaned out_. It is a question
whether any other Fishmonger's shop, can boast of so numerous an assembly
of _flat fish and gudgeons_.

IMPROMPTU.

On hearing that Mr. Ude, the celebrated cook, was engaged by Mr.
Crockford, at a salary of L1,200 per annum.

  With this UDE for a cook--who all cooks doth excell--
  There'll be nothing on _earth_ like a dinner in "HELL!"

=Hen and Chickens.=--All my pretty _chickens_ and their _dam_, St.
James'.--The _Missus_ and the _blooming kids_, St. Giles'.

=Highflier.=--A tip-topper, a first rater.

=Hop Merchant.=--A dancing master.

=Holy Land.=--The back slums of St. Giles'.

=Holy Water.=--Gin.

=Horse Chaunter.=--A man being brought up at one of the police courts, the
magistrate asked, "What is your trade?"--"_A horse chaunter_, yer
vurship."--"A what! a horse chaunter? Why what's that?"--"Vy, yer vurship,
ain't you _up_ to that ere trade?"--"Come, explain yourself," said the
magistrate.--"Vell, yer vurship, I goes round among the livery
stables--they all on'em knows me--and ven I sees a gen'man bargaining for
an 'orse, I just steps up like a stranger, and ses I, "Vell, that's a rare
'un, I'll be bound," ses I; 'he's got the beautifullest 'ead and neck as
ever I seed,' ses I; 'only look at 'is open nostrils--he's got vind like a
no-go-motive, I'll be bound; he'll travel a hundred miles a day, and never
vunce think on't; them's the kind of legs vat never fails.' Vell, this
tickles the gen'man, and he ses to 'imself, 'that 'ere 'onest countryman's
a rale judge of a 'orse;' so please you, yer vurship, he buys 'im and
trots off. Vell, then I goes up to the man vat keeps the stable, and axes
'im, 'Vell, vat are you going to stand for that 'ere _chaunt_?' and he
gives me a suvrin. Vell, that's vat I call 'orse _chaunting_, yer vurship;
there's rale little 'arm in it; there's a good many sorts on us; some
_chaunts_ canals, some _chaunts_ railroads, some _chaunts_ j'int stock
companies, and ther's a werry many other _chaunts_ in this 'ere vorld as
is too numerous to mention and some on 'em as even me nor ye vurship is'nt
fly too."

=Hot House.=--A brothel:--"Now she professes a hot-house, which I think,
is a very ill-house too."

=Hot Waters.=--Spirits.

=Humming Ale.=--Strong liquor that froths well. A corruption of _spuming_.
French, _espuma_, froth. Latin, _spuma_.

=Hummums.=--The well-known hotel in Covent Garden. So called from an
Eastern word, signifying _baths_. ROCKLEY and _the_ CO. is the _Boss of
the Show_, and TAWNY PORT the order of the day. _Bob
Soutar--ultra--crepidam?_ and _Joe Cave (at) actor? May_ for your dresses,
and _White_ for spangles. Chaffcutting from 12 till 5 daily.

=Hyde Park.=--London, W., was the ancient manor of Hyde, belonging to the
Abbey of Westminster, became Crown property at the dissolution 1539. It
was sold by parliament in 1652, but was resumed by the King at the
restoration in 1661. The Serpentine was formed 1730-33. "My dear JERRY,"
said TOM, "HYDE PARK is in my opinion, one of the most delightful scenes
in the world. Indeed it is a fine picture of the English people. It is in
this Park, JERRY, that the PRINCE may be seen dressed as plain as the most
humble individual in the kingdom; the _Tradesman_ more stylish in his
apparel than his LORDSHIP; and the _Shopman_ with as fine clothes on his
person as a DUKE. The COUNTESS not half so much 'bedizened' over as her
own _Waiting-Maid_; the _Apprentice-Boy_ as sprucely _set-off_ as a young
sprig of NOBILITY; while the _Milliner's Lass_ in finery excels the
DUCHESS. But the air of independence which each person seems to breathe
renders the _tout ensemble_ captivating."

"Observe those prime _bits of blood_," from the choicest studs in the
kingdom, prancing about as proud as peacocks, and almost unmanageable to
their dashing riders. The _Goldfinches_ of the day trying to excel each
other in point of coachmanship, turning their vehicles rapidly--almost to
the eighteenth part of an inch, each priding himself in having obtained
the character for displaying the most elegant "_set-out_." The MAN OF TON
_staring_ some modest female, that attracts his attention, completely out
of countenance; while the _Lady of Rank_, equally _delicate_ in her ideas
of propriety, uses her _glass_ upon the same object till her carriage
removes her out of sight. The DEBAUCHEE, endeavouring to renovate or brace
himself up with the fine air of the Park, _ogling_ all the girls that
cross his path. The SWELL DANDY could not exist if he did not show himself
in the Park on a Sunday. The GAMBLER on the _look-out_ to see if any new
pigeon appears in the circle, in order to plan future operations that may
turn out to his advantage. The _peep o'-day_ WOMAN _of Quality_, who,
night after night, disposes of all her hours of rest in card-parties and
routs, is here to be seen riding down the circle to _chit-chat_ and nod to
her friends, in order to get rid of her yawnings, and to appear something
like being _awake_ at dinner-time. The PEER, relaxing from his
parliamentary duties, and the Members of the Lower House here take a ride
among the various parties in the circle, to hear their conduct and
measures descanted upon, and likewise to "pick-up" a little information
respecting the buz on public affairs. The scheming _Procuress_ sporting
some new-caught lady-birds in a splendid carriage, in order to excite
attention and to distribute her _cards_ with more effect. The wealthy CIT,
whose _plum_ has rendered him _sweet_ amongst his grand next-door
neighbours at the West-end of the town, here shows himself with all the
confidence derived from a splendid fortune. The extravagant _Fancy-Lady_,
making use of the thousand little arts that she is mistress of, trying to
take the _shine_ out of all the other females in the circle, merely to
show the _taste_ and liberality of her _keeper_. The _flashy Tradesman_,
who laughs at the vulgar prejudices of old sayings and propriety about
"Keeping your shop and it will keep you," here pushes along in his _natty_
gig and prime trotter, and appears upon as "good terms" with himself as
the richest banker in London, laughing in his sleeve at the idea, that, if
anything goes wrong from his stylish-pursuits, a temporary absence from
his friends, united with the aid of _white-washing_, will soon make him
"all right again."

It is equally interesting and attractive, from the numerous characters of
both sexes, _ogling_ each other, as they frequently come in contact. The
_Tailor_ confined to his shop-board all the week, enjoys the double
advantage of gaining a little fresh air in the Park, as well as admiring
some of his own performances on the backs of many of the dashing crowd;
and the _Milliner_, also upon the same errand, not only to improve her
health, but to retain in her eye the newest fashion sported in this
hemisphere of the GREAT. The pleasure, too, of being known and recognized
by your friends and acquaintances. The numerous bows and friendly How d'ye
do's? With that admired sort of LIFE IN LONDON, all jostling against each
other in the Park with the utmost _sang-froid_. The NOBLEMAN and the
_Yokel_--the DIVINE and the "_Family-man_"--the PLAYER and the _Poet_--the
IMPURE and the _Modest-girl_--the GRAVE and the _Gay_--the FLASH COVE and
the _Man of Sentiment_--the FLAT and the _Sharp_--the DANDY and the
_Gentleman_--the out-and-out SWELL and the _Groom_--the real SPORTSMAN and
the _Black-Leg_--the HEAVY TODDLERS and the _Operators_--the dashing BUM
TRAP and the _Shy Cove_--the MARCHIONESS and her _Cook_--the DUKE and the
"_Dealer in Queer_,"--the LADY and her _Scullion_--the PINK OF THE TON and
his "_Rainbow_"--the _Whitechapel_ KNIGHT OF THE CLEAVER and his fat
_Rib_--the BARBER'S CLERK and the _Costard-Monger_--the SLAVEY and her
_Master_--the SURGEON and _Resurrection Man_--the ardent LOVER to catch
the smiling eye of his _Mistress_--the young BLOOD in search of adventures
and to make assignations.

It ought, however, not to be forgotten, that every thing which is lovely,
interesting, honourable, virtuous, generous, feeling, witty, elegant, and
humane, which tends so much to give the English females a proud
superiority over those of most other nations, is here to be met with in a
transcendant degree; and it should also be remembered, that every thing
which is designing, crafty, plausible, imposing, insinuating, and
deluding, is likewise to be run against in these gay paths of pleasure.
The passions are all _afloat_, but GAIETY of disposition overtops the
whole.


I.

=Index.=--Reference.

=I'll Chance It.=--A common expression among sporting men, when the object
in view is doubtful of accomplishment. _It is a good Flat that is never
done._

=I's Yorkshire Coves.=--Doncaster horse dealers.

=Isle of Bishop.=--A phrase among the Collegians at Oxford for getting
_jolly_ over port wine, roasted oranges and lemons.

=Ivories.=--The teeth: _wash_, or _sluice_ your _Ivories_; drink.


J.

=Jackson's Rooms=--were in Bond Street.--Mr. John Jackson, otherwise
Gentleman Jackson? The proprietor was for a long time the connecting link
between the patrons and practitioners of the Prize Ring. His persevering
and honourable character enabled him to realize a handsome competence. He
died at his residence 4, Grosvenor-street, Eaton-square, Oct. 7, 1845,
aged 76.

=Jarvey.=--A Hackney-coach--"Better known perhaps by the name of a _Hack_:
handy enough in wet weather or in a hurry."

=Jemmy.=--A head. _Bleeding Jemmy._--A sheep's head, otherwise a
_Field-lane duck_, otherwise _The one eyed joint_, otherwise _Claretted
James_, otherwise _Sanguinary Jacobus_, otherwise a _Pastoral
Countenance_, otherwise a _Mountain Pecker_, otherwise a _Peaceful
Profile_. That man is to be pitied, who has not luxuriated on the
delicasies of one of these, hot from the pan in their native element, at
Mrs. Holmes', the Two Brewers--the Sheep's Head Tavern, Little St. Andrew
Street, Seven Dials. Where the particular guest is never offended with a
dirty table cloth, that appendage to mastication being invariably
dispensed with; always taking care that they are accompanied with their
proper and only sauce--a little of Hodges's best, or Deady's true cordial.
Poor Colley Skylark, the Apollo of the pugilistic corps, has neglected
many lordly banquets, for the felicity of feeding on them, and gouging
out the rich eye in company with many of the gifted and learned of the
age, viz.--The Keen pride of the British stage--the Comic Sheepface of
Covent Garden--The talented author of the CIGAR who acted as _Clarke_ to
the meeting: in their nocturnal vigils, and rich chaunts, will long be
remembered there. Let us hope that Mr. Nash, the great architect, in his
projected inroads through the Seven Dials, will spare this sacred haunt,
so dear to the sons of good-feeding and fellowship. If he has ever had the
happiness of regaling there, on a red hot _bleeding jemmy!_ this
remonstrance will not be needed.

=Jemmy Green.=--Every one must know this gentleman; he is a veritable
being, and in being;--but as he is here said to live in _Tooley Street, in
the City_, a place of no existence, no libel will lie. The lively _Bunch
of Greens_, therefore, that at one time so pestered the Author with
threatening and other letters, are informed their suspicions are quite
correct, and that they were most certainly the officious empty fools of
which this character is the representative.

=Jerry Sneak.=--A henpecked husband. From the poor sniveling Cockney cur
in Foote's farce of the "Mayor of Garrett."

=Johnny Raw.=--A countryman.

=Juniper.=--Gin.

=Junk.=--Salt beef.


K.

=Kean.=--"_Hear_ KEAN _speak_." Edmund Kean, the celebrated tragedian,
1787-1833.

=Kean's Head--The.=--Was a well-known theatrical tavern in Russell Court,
Drury Lane. It had previously been called the O.P. and P.S. but
re-christened in _honour!_ to the celebrated tragedian--then in the zenith
of his fame, the late Edmund Kean:--

  Then off again, no fear or dread,
    To the once famed O.P.
  In better taste--chang'd to KEAN'S HEAD--
    And noted for a _spree_!
                                  Pierce Egan's _The Show Folks_.

The tavern was much frequented by all persons directly and indirectly
connected with the theatrical profession. And was at one time kept by Tom
Hudson, a jolly _bon vivant_, and famous comic song writer and singer, of
whom Pierce Egan, wrote--"his facility in producing songs is
astonishing--he also sings them with a peculiar _naivete_, and tells his
'story' to his company better than most men, who are not regular
performers. In his line, he is a second Charles Dibdin, senr.--The above
tavern," continues Pierce Egan--"afforded considerable amusement to its
visitors, as a few wags, fond of a bit of fun, frequented the coffee-room
every evening, and, in concert together, represented themselves as
managers from the country, in want of performers, and waiting in turn to
engage young men for different '_lines of business_,' to complete their
companies. This had the desired effect; and numerous ludicrous scenes was
the result, which defy anything like communication, and enthusiastic,
stage-struck, inexperienced youths afforded these _pretended_ managers
sport and roars of laughter, night after night. The plan generally adopted
was, that one of the party kept on the look out to pick up a simple
youth--having a soul above buttons!--and having got one in tow, he was
formally introduced to the assumed proprietor of a country theatre. The
latter person, with a face of gravity, then inquired whether he wished to
engage for the _light_ or _heavy_ business of the stage, or if singing was
his forte; or, perhaps, he could undertake the general line, and assist in
melo-dramas, spectacles, &c., &c. The manager then, with a polite request,
wished to have a 'taste' of the young man's quality, before he finally
settled his engagement, and fixed his salary. And several young aspiring
heroes, anxious to obtain an engagement, have been prevailed upon to mount
the table, and to give selections from Romeo, Hamlet, and Octavian, &c.,
amidst the shouts of _pretended_ applause from country actors, wags of all
sorts, and men of the world, who nightly resorted to this tavern, to pick
up anecdotes, and spend a pleasant hour. When the managers! thought they
had had enough of this burlesque, 'the _exit_--the _exit_,' would be
whispered one to another, and while the hero on the table was spouting out
some impassioned speech from Shakespeare, his back would be readily
assailed with the contents of their jugs; and upon the unfortunate wight
hastily looking round for the authors of such an assault, his front, from
another part of the company, would be attacked in the same manner. Redress
was out of the question, and the more passion and rage exhibited by the
youth, produced the more laughter; when he was informed it was the way to
teach him how to make his '_exit_' in a rage! and that no person would
deny him the title of being a _wet_ actor. It was Tom Hudson who altered
the sign of the tavern to the Kean's Head: a remarkable likeness of the
great tragedian was hung over the fireplace, and he was wont to visit Tom
and take a drink after the fatigue of the night's performance. The mere
rumour of this attracted many to the house. A capital harmonic meeting
took place late at night--or rather early in the morning, which was
supported by a mixture of professionals from the theatres, and amateurs of
talent and celebrity. Vain endeavours were seldom entered upon at Tom
Hudson's; a pretender was soon coughed down. Amongst the leaders of the
vocal department who contributed to the musical attractions were Morton
Box; Jem Savern; Little Harris; Joe Wells, so popular afterwards in
connection with the Coal Hole; Mr. John Hart, late of the Cider Cellars;
Tom Prynn, Belasco, and others of great vocal talent and celebrity.
_Apropos_ of Edmund Kean, the late Mr. Leman Rede, author and dramatist,
in his 'Sketch of the Life of John Reeve,' relates the following
anecdote--'Kean's name was the 'open sesame' to all night houses near the
theatres; and ere John Reeve came upon the stage, he was apt to indulge
much in the 'little hours.' He and his friends, lads of his own age, could
not have got admission, but he knew the secret, and acted accordingly.
After giving a mystic knock, he applied his mouth to the keyhole, and with
an exactitude of imitation that defied detection, exclaimed--''Tis
I----Kean--Edmund Kean!' In an instant the door was opened; in glided
Reeve, saying, with an easy assurance, 'Ned's just gone round the
corner--back in a moment.'"

=Keep the Line.=--To behave in a becoming manner: not to forget one's
self.

=Keep it Up.=--To prolong the debauch, or game. A term made popular by
frequent reiteration.

=Keep up the Ball.=--Be jolly. _Keep the ball rolling_, is also used in
the same sense.

=Kick.=--A sixpence. _Quite the Kick_, quite a dandy.

=Kick the Bucket.=--To die.

=Kick over the Traces.=--To become unmanagable.

=Kicksies.=--Small clothes, from the appetency of their contents, to the
exercise of kicking, and from being _the kick_--the fashion.--Take my
advice, never resist the law, if a man claims your coat and vestcoat, let
him have 'em, or you'll lose your _kicksies_ in trying the argument. And
if a man kicks you rub the place, but don't go to law, that's my advice.

=Kid.=--A knowing boy or man, in a _low_ or _flash_ point of view--a
thief.

=Kiddy.=--A thief of the lower order, who, when he is well breeched by a
course of successful depredations, dresses in the extreme of vulgar
gentility, and effects a knowingness in his air and conversation, which
renders him in reality an object of ridicule:--

  Poor Tom was once a _Kiddy_ upon town,
  A thorough _varmint_ and a _real_ swell.
                                        Byron's _Don Juan_.

=Kiddy.=--Tasty. _Kiddy Artist_, a tasty workman.

=Kidney.=--Men of the same thoughts and kind--kindred spirits, &c. _Men of
another Kidney._--The opposites.

=Kinchin Cove.=--A paltry thief who robs children--even of their bread and
butter; or, a caged-bird of its lump sugar!

=King of Bath.=--Beau Nash, master of the ceremonies at that city for some
fifteen years (1674-1761).

=Kite Flying.=--_To fly a Kite_ is to "raise the wind," or obtain money on
bills, whether good or bad. The phrase means as a _Kite_ flutters in the
air by reason of its lightness, and is a mere toy, so these bills fly
about, but are light and worthless.

=Knacker.=--One who sings Psalms over a dead horse.

=Knight of the Cleaver.=--A butcher.

=Knight of the Pestle and Mortar.=--An apothecary.

=Knight of the Post.=--A man in the pillory, or that has been tied to a
whipping-post.

=Knight of the Rainbow.=--A cant phrase for a footman in livery, in
allusion to the various colours of his clothes--also said of a master
tailor. _See_ RAINBOW.

=Knights of the Road.=--Highwaymen.--_Dick Turpins!!_

=Knights of the Whip.=--Long stage coachmen.

=Knowing.=--Skilful, well-informed, sharp, shrewd, artful, or cunning.

=Knowing one.=--_Vide_ BOB LOGIC.

=Knowledge Box.=--The head.


L.

=Lace.=--To beat. _I'll lace your jacket for you_--I will beat you.

=Laced Mutton.=--See _Shakespeare's_: The Two Gentlemen of Verona, _Act_
i., _Scene_ 1.

=Lady Birds.=--Cyprians, female peripatetics. Light or lewd women.

  The merchant's daughter died soon after,
    Tears she shed, but spoke no words,
  So all young men a warning take,
    And don't go with the naughty _Lady Birds_.

=Lady in Mourning.=--A negress, a black woman.

=Lag.=--A returned transport. _Bill has been out of the country for some
time past studying botany!_--That is he has been to Botany Bay as a
transport, but now returned.

=Laid on the Shelf.=--For further particulars consult any unmarried woman
under the age of ----!!!---- If I know more of any man alive than that
which maiden modesty doth warrant, let all my sins lack
mercy.--_Shakespeare._

=Lamp.=--The human eye! _The cove has a queer Lamp_, the man has a blind
or squinting eye.

=Lark.=--A frolic, joke, spree. _Cut your larks_, leave off larking.

=Lawful Blanket.=--A wife.--'Till I have no wife, I'll have nothing else.

=Lay.=--A scheme or trick. _Shabby genteel lay_, a scheme of beggars to
excite compassion by dressing as decayed tradesmen.

=Leading strings.=--The restraint of friends.

=Leery.=--To look sharp and knowing--from the rolling of the eye.

=Leg Bail.=--Running away.--Your legs did better service than your hands.

=Legs.=--Men who live by cheating. _Blacklegs_, gamblers, &c.

=Levanters.=--Persons who run away to avoid paying their debts of honour.

=Lifter.=--A thief.--Is he so young a man, and so old a
lifter?--_Shakespeare._

=Lighthouse.=--The watch-house.

=Lily.=--A black.--To paint the lily is wasteful--and very silly.

=Lilywhite.=--A chimney sweeper or negro.

=Limbo.=--Prison.--As far from help as _limbo_ is from
bliss.--_Shakespeare._

=Line.=--An awkward thing to get into. _To give any one Line enough_, to
let him go his lengths. _To keep the Line_, to be correct.

=Lion's Share.=--The larger part; all or nearly all. In "AEsop's Fables,"
several beasts joined the lion in a hunt, but when the spoil was divided,
the lion claimed one quarter in right of his prerogative, one for his
superior courage, one for his dam and cubs--"as for the other fourth, let
who will dispute it with me." Awed by his frown, the other beasts silently
withdrew.

=Listener.=--The ear.--Give every man thine ear, but few thy voice.

=Little Shilling.=--Love money:--Just another little shilling _ducky_!

=Lob's Pound.=--A prison, the stocks, or any other place of confinement.

=Lothario.=--A gay libertine, a seducer of female modesty, a debauchee.
The character is from "The Fair Penitent," by Nicholas Rowe, 1673-1718.

  Is this that haughty gallant, gay Lothario? _Act_ v., _Sc._ 1.

=Low Water Mark.=--Without cash. "A most damnable condition."

=Lug.=--The ear from its being very often _lugged_.

=Lump.=--The workhouse.

=Lush.=--Beer and other intoxicating drinks, so called from Lushington the
brewer. _Lush-crib_, a public-house.

=Lushy.=--Drunk. Introduced by Leigh Hunt and Keats, and others of the
Cockney School into the service of poetry--"Trees _lush_ with bliss,"
_i.e._, Trees drunk with love, possibly of the succulent sort.

=Lushington.=--Intoxication--"the best of life is but intoxication," so
said BYRON over his gin and water: "there is more truth in it than folks
may generally imagine." To join _Captain Lushington_, to get drunk--"See
how snugley Captain Lushington's getting aboard of Logic," said Jerry to
Corinthian Tom on the night of their visit to "_All Max, in the East_."


M.

=Mab.=--A cabriolet, from the projector, Mr. Maberly.

=Mace.=--To cheat, impose, rob.

=Mace Cove.=--A swindler, a sharper, a cheat. A gentleman from the Spice
Islands, _i.e._, a fellow living on his wits. _On the mace_, to live by
swindling.

=Mag.=--A halfpenny.

=Malty Coves.=--Porter patrons, heavy wet encouragers, beer drinkers--and
_thinkers_!

=Maulagaram.=--An awkward knock.

=Max.=--Gin.--Oh! for a glass of _Max_. Byron's _Don Juan_, Canto xi.,
Stanza 16. His Lordship added by way of a foot-note in explanation of the
word MAX! The advance of science and of language has rendered it
unnecessary to translate the above good and true English, spoken in its
original purity by the select mobility and their patrons.

=Master of the Mint.=--A punning term for a gardener.

=Master of the Rolls.=--A baker. Jack Martin, the renowned pugilist, who
was a baker by trade, was well known to the _Fancy_ as _The Master of the
Rolls_.

=Masquerade.=--Masquerades were in fashion in the time of Edward III.,
1340, and in the reign of Charles, 1660. The Bishops preached against
them, and made such representations as occasioned their suppression, 9
Geo. I., 1724. They were revived, and carried to shameful excess in
violation of the laws, and tickets of admission to a masquerade at
Ranelagh were on some occasions subscribed for at twenty-five guineas
each. Now, if the reader wishes to take the mask off this scene, let him
go and take a glass of champagne with Charles Wright of the Haymarket, and
he will fully initiate him into all its merry mysteries, he is at liberty
to make use of the Author's name in his enquiries.

=Mazzard.=--Head. _Rap on the Mazzard_, a thump on the head.

=Men are but Children of a Larger Growth.=--From _Dryden's_, "All for
Love," _Act_ iv., _Sc._ 1.

=Mendicity Society.=--Red Lion-square, London, was established in 1818,
for the suppression of public begging, and other impositions.

=Mill.=--A fight. _Millers_, pugilists. _Mill the Glaze_, break a window.

=Misfortunes.=--If "_misfortunes_" as the saying has it, "attend the
righteous," the wicked as a matter of course cannot expect to go
_unpunished_: although a man might have the "Old One's _luck_ and his own
too!" "If," said LOGIC to JERRY--after the latter hero had been
complaining to him on getting up rather late one morning after a night's
_spree_, that he thought his _constitution_ had got a little _scratch_
since he had left HAWTHORN HALL,--"people who are fond of a _lark_; enjoy
a _row_; love a _bit of fun_; take a peep at a _fair_; join in a _hop_; go
to a _mill_; play at _rouge et noir_; parade the _lobby_; stroll through
the _back slums_; visit the _cock and dog pits_; spend a few _interesting_
moments at _gaffing_; _blow a cloud_ at a free and easy; meet with _Mr.
Lushington_; drop in on the sly at a _case_; _floor_ the _charleys_, and,
after all, nothing be the _matter_, why then it is a prime circumstance in
the career of a man indeed. But it is five hundred to one, that ALL the
above _events_ do not _come off right_, with the most experienced and
skilful sportsman: that is to say, my dear friend, if you do not get
_punished_ in your person, yet you may be most preciously _physicked_ in
your _cly_; and, if you have even the good fortune to keep your _peepers_
from being measured for a _suit of mourning_; your _canister_ from being
_cracked_; and your face from being _spoiled_ among the low _coveys_ of
_St. Kitts_; you are, perhaps, even in more real danger among the refined
heroes of the creation, from paying too much "_attention_" to their
_ladies_ which has often occasioned more than one JOHN BULL sort of
_ill-natured unaccommodating_ husband to give such very _polite_ gallants
a dose of _leaden_ powder, that has _cooled_ their courage, or, at least,
_checked_ their importunities. In society where _politeness_ of that sort
is measured out to the extreme nicety of splitting a hair as at the _West
End_ assemblies, it will at all times, be well to remember that
_Misfortunes_ are in _morals_, what bitters are in medicine: each is at
first disagreeable; but as the bitters act as corroborants to the stomach,
so Adversity chastens and ameliorates the disposition. Therefore it is
much better to endeavour to forget one's _Misfortunes_, than to speak of
them, and ever to bear in mind that:--

  "Misfortunes tell us what fortune is."

=Mizzle.=--To disappear, to leave the company.

=Mob.=--A contraction of the Latin _mobile_--the fickle crowd. Query: As
_Mob_ is mobility, is _Nob_ nobility?

=Moisten your Chaffers.=--To drink.

=Mollishers.=--A slang term made use of by thieves and police officers for
low prostitutes.

=Moncrieff, W. G. T.=--_Otherwise_ William George Thomas, author of
between two and three hundred dramas, &c., died in the Charter-house,
December 8, 1857, aged 63.

=Money-Lenders.=--Bob Logic termed those persons _Brags_ in consequence of
their repeatingly advertising to render embarrassed individuals
assistance, yet making them _pay_ well for it; something after the old
adage, that "BRAG'S a good dog; but _Holdfast_ is a better!"

=Mot.=--A prostitute. _A Leary Mot_, a knowing one:--

  Rum old Mog was a _leary_ flash _mot_, and she was round and fat,
  With _twangs_ in her shoes, a wheel-barrow too, and an oil skin round
        her hat;
  A blue birds-eye o'er _dairies_ fine, as she _mizzled_ through Temple
        Bar--
  Of vich side of the vay, I cannot say, but she _boned_ it from a Tar.
                                                 Singing Fol-lol-lol-lido.

  Now Mog's flash com-pan-ion was a Chick-lane gill, and he garter'd below
        his knee,
  He had twice been _pull'd_, and nearly _lagg'd_, but got off by going to
        sea;
  With his pipe and quid, and _chaunting_ voice, Potatoes he would cry;
  For he valued neither _cove_ nor _swell_, for he had _wedge_ snug in his
        cly.
                                                      Singing Fol-lol-lol.

  One night they went to a Cock-and-Hen Club, at the sign of the Mare and
        Stallion,
  But such a sight was never seen as Mog and her flash com-pan-ion;
  Her _covey_ was an am'rous blade, and he buss'd young Bet on the sly,
  When Mog up with her _daddle_ bang-up to the mark, and she black'd the
        Bunter's eye.
                                                      Singing Fol-lol-lol.

  Now this brought on a general fight, Lord, what a gallows row--
  With whacks and thumps throughout the night, till drunk as David's sow--
  Milling up and down--with cut heads, and lots of broken ribs,
  But the _lark_ being over--they _ginned_ themselves at jolly Tom Cribb's.
                                                      Singing Fol-lol-lol.

=Mother Cummins.=--In Dyott Street, St. Giles's--now George Street, after
George Prince of Wales--but called Dyott Street after Sir Thomas Dyott,
_temp._ Charles II., lived that most notorious and world-renowned
lodging-house keeper "Mother Cummins," so well-known to all the _Bucks_
about town, in their hot youth, when George the Third was King.

  Oh, she lives snug in the Holy Land
  Right, tight, and merry in the Holy Land,
      Search the globe round, none can be found
      So _accommodating!_ as Old Mother Cummins
                                Of the Holy Land.

It is related that Major Hanger accompanied George IV. to a beggar's
carnival in St. Giles's. He had not been there long when the Chairman, Sir
Jeffery Dunston, addressing the company, and pointing to the then Prince
of Wales, said "I call upon that 'ere gemman with a shirt for a song." The
Prince, as well as he could, got excused upon his friend promising to sing
for him, and he chaunted in a prime style a flash ballad full of "St.
Giles's Greek," for which he received great applause. The Major's health
having been drunk with nine times nine, and responded to by him, wishing
them "good luck till they were tired of it," he departed with the Prince
to afford the company time to fix their different routes for the ensuing
day's business.

=Mother Emerson's.=--A night-house situate in the Haymarket, at one time
called the Turk's Head, but of later times named the Waterford Arms, out
of compliment to the late generous-hearted and frolicsome Marquis of
Waterford, who was a great patron and supporter of the house.

The late--self-styled--Lord Chief Baron Nicholson: who was intimately
acquainted with "Mother Emerson," wrote of her thus.--"In business Mrs.
Emerson was a wonder. I cannot possibly do better than present a sketch of
her in and out of her trade:--"

NIGHT-HOUSES AND THEIR KEEPERS.

MRS. EMERSON.

  'Twas landlady Meg that made such rare flip;
    Pull away, pull away, my hearties;
  At Wapping she lived, at the sign of the Ship,
    Where tars met in such jolly parties.
                                        _Dibdin._

The famous landlady, Meg of Wapping, might have been very celebrated, and
a very great person, at the time she lived, and at the particular part of
the town she resided in, namely, that _Fashionable Watering-Place_,
Wapping; but all landladies of the present day are placed in the shade,
totally eclipsed, by that all-accomplished and indefatigable woman of
business, Mrs. Emerson, of the Waterford Arms, late the Turk's Head,
Haymarket.

Although she is not defunct, she may be properly termed the _late_ Mrs.
Emerson. Night after night she keeps her body up, and her appearance,
every time we see her she seems to look younger and fresher. She is quite
a character in her way, and the best flat-catcher in London. "How d'ye do,
my dear?" is her general salutation to the swells who frequent her
lush-crib. "Well, I thank you, mother," is the reply. "What'll you take?"
For it is considered a great honour amongst the flats to get mother to
drink with them. "Oh! Sherry, my son; Sherry for me," says mother.

"A bottle of sherry here, waiter," says the flat; and she makes the
favoured few who have the right of _entree_ behind her bar, pay for the
distinguished indulgence.

The Irishmen say, "Who has e'er had the luck to see Donnybrook Fair?" We
ask, "Who has e'er had the luck to see Mistress Emerson on a race-course?
We have, and a greater out-and-outer we never met--"Rich and rare were the
gems she wore:"--and there you may see the gay old gal togged to the
extreme of fashion, with pink silk stockings to display her well-shaped
understandings--for we must inform our readers that mother don't stand
upon trifles--generally a nice satin shoe and dress; also lots-and-lots of
jewellery, stated to be worth, including _thimble_, _hoops_, and
_chin-prop_, something approaching a cool thousand. It is a great
advantage to single gentlemen _wot_ go to the races to be acquainted with
mother; she always takes a plentiful supply of _wittles_, and an awful lot
of the sparkling and still--not the _private still_; for amongst her
friends and patrons she makes it as public as possible, and when she is
really "standing sam," as she facetiously calls it, you can't make more
free than welcome.

In conclusion, we must observe that we do justice to every one, and seek
not to gain popularity by villifying those who are not in a situation to
resent it. In many--very many instances the public little know--or care of
whom they speak, and we are all too prone to come to hasty conclusions,
and to speak with prejudice and without inquiry. Now be it known to all
who care to know, that, Mrs. Emerson is really and truly a very
kind-hearted and charitable person, in spite of the very disadvantageous
position she stands in with the public by keeping a night-house. She
strives as much as possible to prevent the ingress of improper characters,
and so far she is successful, for no robbery has ever taken place in her
house since she has been in business.

=Mother H's.=--Was a notorious night-house opposite the front entrance of
Drury Lane Theatre, and then the great _rendezvous_ for the gay city
birds, as well as the more fantastic dandies of the West-end. Mother H.,
or Mrs. Hoskins, was the _remnant_ of Mr. Hoskins, who had, in the words
of George Barrington, the pickpocket, _par excellence!_ "Left his country
for his country's good." Mother H. is described by a writer who knew her
well as the "ugliest woman I ever beheld; but she dearly loved paint,
dress, and decorations. Her attire was in the highest style of fashion,
generally black velvet or satin, jewellery in profusion, silk stockings,
and very neat kid shoes. She had rather a pretty ankle." "_Apropos_ of her
shoes, I may remark that the old girl was artful, deceitful, and
dishonest. I remember a half-drunken, foolish fellow dropping a handful of
sovereigns in the large supper-room. A number of the fair and frail were
present; Mother H. said, "Now girls, stand away, I'll pick them up and see
that the gentleman ain't robbed;" she should have added, "_By any one but
myself_," for about every second sovereign she took from the floor she
"welled" in her shoes. "Well," said one of the girls; "I don't blame you
mother, but I should like to stand in your shoes." Mother H. retired with
an ample fortune. Turned--as a matter of course, _very religious_, married
a highly respectable timber merchant at Brighton, who died and left her
money. She again tried her luck in the matrimonial lottery, although
nearly seventy years of age. Her third husband was a serious, calm, tall
and respectable Dissenter, who outlived her."

=Mother's Milk.=--The liquor we like best.

=Mouse.=--Is a black--or perhaps, more correctly speaking, a swollen eye.

=Move on the Board.=--An action in life.

=Mudlarks.=--Men who rake about the mud on the banks of the Thames, when
the tide is out, for what they can find.

=Muff.=--A soft article, a tool, a fool: a soft _thing_ that holds a
lady's hand without squeezing it!

=Munden, Joseph.=--Comedian, died February 6, 1832, aged 74.

=Mutton Walk.=--The Saloons of Drury Lane and Covent Garden
Theatres--"Upon the arrival of TOM and JERRY at Drury Lane Theatre, the
performances did not operate on their feelings as a source of attraction.
It is true they took a _glimpse_ at the play, but as they did not go for
anything like _criticism_ on the abilities of the actors, or to descant
upon the merits of the pieces, it was merely a _glimpse_ indeed. Our
heroes went upon another errand. Their eyes were directed to different
parts of the house; and TOM not meeting with any of his acquaintances at
'Old Drury,' as he had anticipated, they immediately pushed off to take a
peep at Covent Garden Theatre. A _look_ at the stage was quite sufficient
for their purpose; and without any more delay, the CORINTHIAN and JERRY
soon _bustled_ into the Saloon.

"TOM and his Coz, had scarcely reached the place for refreshments, when
the _buz_ began, and they were surrounded by numbers of the gay _Cyprians_
who nightly visit this place. Some of these _delicate_ heroines, soon
began to jeer the CORINTHIAN on the _cause_ of his absence; while others
of these _Lady Birds_ were offering their congratulations to him on his
restoration to Society. JERRY being in company with so distinguished a
hero as TOM was of itself a sufficient source of attraction to these
_Fancy Pieces_ to pay their court to HAWTHORN; and, accordingly, their
cards were presented to JERRY, in order to grace their lists with the
addition of a _new_ and rich _Friend_. These cards rather puzzled JERRY,
who appeared astonished that such dashing females should keep _Shops!!!?_"

=My Uncle.=--The cant term for a pawnbroker:--

  Who lives where hang those golden balls,
  Where Dick's poor mother often calls,
  And leaves her _dickey_, gown, and shawls?--MY UNCLE.

  Who, when you're _short_ of the _short_ stuff,
  _Nose-Starving_ for an ounce of snuff,
  Will "_raise the wind_" without a _puff_?--MY UNCLE.

A _poor_ PUNSTER, who was hurrying through the streets one evening, was
met by a friend, who asked him where he was going in such great haste? The
_humourist_ being rather _shy_ in stating his errand, as well as anxious
to conceal the _poverty_ of his circumstances, and having only a few
minutes left before his ticket or _Mortgage-deed!_ expired as to _date_,
which not being renewed, his property must have been forfeited, turned off
the question, with a smile, observing, "To a place of _amusement_." "What
part of the house?" "To the private boxes." "Is it a good piece?"
"Excellent! It abounds with incidents; and you cannot depart without
feeling an _interest_ in it." "What's the name of it?"--"JUST IN TIME!"
"So I'm off at once," replied the PUNSTER.


N.

=Nab.=--To catch or seize. _Nabbed_, caught.

=Nabob.=--Corruption of the Hindoo word Nawab. An administrator,
commander, and other high officers under the Mogul empire. These men
acquired great wealth and lived in Eastern splendour, so that they gave
rise to the phrase, "Rich as a Nawab," corrupted into _Rich as a Nabob_.
In England we apply the phrase to a merchant who has obtained great wealth
in the Indies, and has returned to live--and die in his native country.

=Nail.=--To prig, or to capture. _I nailed_ him on the spot. _To pay down
on the Nail_, to pay ready money on the counter--which was often studded
over with nails.

=Naked Truth.=--The fable says that Truth and Falsehood went bathing:
Falsehood came first out of the water, and dressed herself in Truth's
garments, Truth, unwilling to take those of Falsehood, went naked.

=Nap.=--To catch, to grasp.

=Napping.=--To be taken in the act, especially in adultery. "To catch
napping--_Rem in re_."

=Napping your Bib.=--Crying, and wiping your eyes with an apron.

=Nappy Ale.=--Strong ale is so called either because it makes one _nappy_,
or else because it contains a nap or frothy head.

=Nash.=--To throw away. _Nash your leading strings_, throw off all
restraint.

=Natty.=--Tidy, methodical and neat. _Natty Lads_, young pickpockets.

=Needful.=--Money. _To show the Needful_, to produce the money.

=Never-wag Man of War.=--The Fleet Prison.

=Nibble.=--To steal.

=Nob.=--Head. _Nobbed_, thumped on the head.

=Nob Thatchers.=--Straw bonnet makers, also wig makers.

=Nod.=--He's gone to the land of Nod, _i.e._, he's gone to bed.

=Noodle.=--An _ass_ of the _human_ species.

=Nose.=--An informer. _Out on the nose_, a night search.

=Nun.=--A mealy mouthed prostitute.

=Nurses.=--Guardians, tutors, &c.

=Nutty.=--To be _nuts_ upon, is to be very much pleased or gratified with
any thing: thus, a person who conceives a strong inclination for another
of the opposite sex is said to be quite _nutty_ upon him or her.

  Who on a lark, with black-eyed Sal (his blowing)
  So prime, so swell, so _nutty_, and so knowing.
                                            Byron's _Don Juan_.


O.

=Office.=--Warning. _To give the Office_, make people aware.

=Offley's.=--A sporting hotel, the resort of the Corinthians of the day
was in Henrietta Street, Covent Garden. To the men about town the
excellence of Offley's catering was well known. In cooking a beefsteak, he
was unrivalled; and many a gentleman who had a great _stake_ in the
country would walk miles to have a small _steak_ in London, cooked and
dished up under the superintendence of "Old Offley" together with a nip of
ale, the quality of which was on a par for excellence with the other good
things of the house.

Mr. Offley lies buried in the churchyard of St Paul, Covent Garden, only a
few feet from the back window of the room which was the scene of so many
agreeable orgies. Shortly after his death a hearty toast to his memory was
drunk in claret, over his grave, by a few of the jovial herd who loved him
in life, and respected him in the tomb.

=Ogles.=--Eyes. _Queer Ogles_, bad eyes.

=Olympic Theatre.=--Was originally erected by Philip Astley, and opened
with horsemanship, September 18, 1806. The theatre was leased in 1813 to
the celebrated R. W. Elliston. On Monday, November 12, 1821, a dramatised
version of "Tom and Jerry," by Charles Dibdin, was produced: Tom, Mr.
Blake; Jerry, Mr. Oxberry; Logic, Mr. Vale. Madame Vestris had the
management to 1839, then followed Mr. George Wild, Miss Davenport, and
Watts. The theatre was destroyed by fire March, 1849; re-built and opened
by Mr. Watts, December 26, 1850.

=Omnibuses.=--The first pair of London omnibuses started from the
Yorkshire Stingo, public-house, in the New Road, to the Bank of England
and back, on Saturday, July 4th, 1829. They were constructed to carry
twenty-two passengers, all inside, and were drawn by three horses abreast.
The fare was one shilling, or sixpence for half the distance, together
with the luxury of a newspaper. A Mr. J. Shillibeer was the owner of these
carriages, and in order that the introduction might have every chance of
success and the full prestige of respectibility, he brought over with him
from Paris two youths, both the sons of British naval officers, and these
young gentlemen were his "conductors." They were smartly dressed in blue
cloth, after the Parisian fashion. Their addressing any foreign passenger
in French, and the French style of the affair, gave rise to an opinion
that Mr. Shillibeer was a Frenchman, and that the English were indebted to
a foreigner for the improvement of their vehicular transit, whereas Mr.
Shillibeer had served in the British navy, and was born in Tottenham Court
Road; yet he had afterwards carried on the business of a coach builder
both in London and Paris. His speculation was particularly and at once
successful, for he insured punctuality and civility; and the cheapness,
cleanliness, and smartness of his omnibuses were in most advantageous
contrast with the high charges, dirt, dinginess, and rudeness of the
drivers of many of the "short stages" and Hackney coaches, who were loud
in their railings against what they were pleased to describe as a French
innovation, and many were the street-papers and ballads issued on the
subject both for and against the "Shillibeer's" and "French Hearses."

  The 'Buss, the 'Buss, the Omnibus!
  That welcomes all without a fuss;
  And wafts us on with joyous sound,
  Through crowded streets on our busy round,
  Reckless of cold and gloomy skies,
  Or the driving storm as it downward hies:
  Stow'd snug in thee! stow'd snug in thee!
  I am where I would wish to be,
  While the rain above and the mud below
  Affects me not where'er I go----
  Though the sleet and the slush be ankle deep,
  What matters? while I can ride so cheap!
              What matters? &c.

  I love, oh how I love to ride
  In cozy converse, side by side,
  With some sweet sly enchanting one,
  Who lets her little 'larum run
  Till scarcely can the listener know
  If that or Time more swiftly go!
  Henceforth I'll know the terrible bore
  Of "padding the hoof" no more, no more;
  But back to his seat I so oft have press'd
  I'll spring, to be wafted the while I rest:
  For thou, dear 'Bus! art a home to me,
  While I am snugly seated in thee.
              While I am, &c.

=On the Town.=--A man of the world: a person supposed to have a general
knowledge of men and manners. In short UP and DOWN _to everything_!

=Operators.=--Pickpockets.

=O.P. and P.S.=--The name given to a tavern in Russell Court, Drury
Lane--_See_ Kean's Head--This sign was construed several ways according as
it suited the different _tastes_ of its visitors. The stage-players took
it in its original sense, to denominate the tavern a theatrical
house;--and the O.P. and P.S., according to its technicality upon the
stage, thus--O.P. _Opposite Prompter_, and P.S. the _Prompt Side_. The men
of the world placed it in another point of view, "Come and see me
to-night," said they to a friend, "at the O.P. and P.S., where you will be
sure to meet some _Old_ PALS, and hear _Prime_ SINGING." And the
Bacchanalians hailed the O.P. and P.S. as the harbour containing fine
_Old_ PORT and _Prime_ SHERRY.

=O.P. Riot.=--When the new Covent Garden Theatre was opened in 1809, the
charges of admission were increased; but night after night for three
months a throng crowded the pit shouting O.P. (_old prices_), much damage
was done, and the manager was obliged at last to give way.

=Out-and-Outer.=--A real good one.

=Oxberry, William.=--An actor of many parts: who held a very respectable
position at various metropolitan theatres--and was a friend and
contemporary with Pierce Egan, W. T. Moncrieff, Leman Rede, Tom Hudson
and Beuler--the funny John Reeve--a great _body_ of talent on or off the
boards. Bob Keeley--the _multum in parvo_, and other choice spirits of the
day, who frequently paid a visit to the coffee-room at the Craven's Head,
Drury Lane, when "_Billy_" Oxberry--that comical wight, acted the part of
_Boniface_, to hear him tell his tales, and relate his theatrical and
other adventures he had met with in playing "_The Five P's_," viz., the
Printer, Poet, Publisher, Publican, and Player. (1784-1824.)


P.

=Pad.=--The highway, or a robber thereon; also a bed. _Footpads_, foot
robbers. _To go out upon the pad_, to go out in order to commit a robbery.
_To pad the hoof_, to walk. _Padding-ken_, a tramp's lodging-house.

=Paddington Fair Day.=--An execution day; Tyburn being in the parish or
neighbourhood of Paddington. _To dance the Paddington frisk_, to be
hanged.

=Pal.=--A companion, one who generally accompanies another, or who commit
robberies together.

=Parker.=--To part or pay money.

=Patter.=--To speak. _Patterer_, a noisy talkative street hawker of songs,
last dying speeches, &c.

=Patter-Flash.=--To talk flash, or the language of thieves.

=Paulo, Signor.=--Comedian and Clown--the original Billy Waters in the
Adelphi Version of "Tom and Jerry," died July 27, 1835, aged 48.

=Pave.=--The town. _A nymph of the pave_, a prostitute.

=Pea-Green Hayne--Mr.=--He was nicknamed "_Pea-green_" from his folly in
reference to Miss Maria Foote, afterwards the Countess of Harrington. It
will be remembered that that beautiful and accomplished lady brought an
action against Hayne for breach of promise of marriage, and recovered
3000_l._ damages; but Hayne was not _green_ upon that account; it was an
affair which the shrewdest man of fashion might have fallen into. If
_greenness_ existed at all in Hayne on that question, it laid in not
marrying her. Fate, however, designed for the lady a better match. The
eccentric Lord Harrington, though a wild, sporting, boxing spirit, as Lord
Petersham, was, as the Earl, one of the most refined gentlemen that ever
added grace to a coronet; and it might be fairly said that his Lordship
did so. Mr Hayne was a man with a mind well stored; he had experience to
aid him. In his association with Ned Baldwin, _alias_ White-headed Bob,
the pugilist, whom he trained and backed, and other fast celebrities of
the day, he learnt much, though he paid dearly for it.

=Peck.=--To eat. _Peck and Booze_, victuals and drink. _Peckish_, hungry.
_Peck-alley_, the throat.

=Peel.=--To strip, to undress; allusion to the taking off of the coat or
rind of an orange.

=Peepers.=--Eyes. _Single peeper_, a one eyed man.

=Pewter.=--Money, from the close alliance of much of our so-called
_silver_. _To stump the pewter_, to pay money.

=Pierce Egan.=--Author of "Tom and Jerry," died August 3, 1849, aged 77.

=Pig and Tinder-box.=--A jocular term for the sign of the Elephant and
Castle.

=Pigs.=--Thief-takers, formerly applied to a Bow Street Officer.

=Pigeons.=--Young beginners, or novices, persons very necessary to be
_plucked_. Also companions of the right sort--birds of a feather.

=Pilot.=--A watchman.

=Pimple.=--The head.

=Pinks.=--Dashing fellows. _Pinks_ of the fashion.

=Pipkin.=--The head. _To crack a pipkin_, to break a head.

=Pippen.=--A good fellow.

=Plum.=--_He is worth a plum_--is said of a man possessed of L100,000, and
of him who has only realized L50,000, he's got but "half-a-plum."

=Pockets to Let.=--When there's no money in them--such are best let alone.

=Point Nonplus.=--Neither money nor credit.

=Police.=--The London police grew out of the London watch, instituted
about 1253; the whole system was remodelled by Mr., afterwards Sir Robert
Peel, by 10 Geo. IV., 19th June, and the New Police commenced duty 29th
September, 1829. Sir Richard Mayne was appointed Chief Commissioner of the
Metropolitan District. The new system was not popular with the people, nor
with those who deemed they had "vested rights," and the constables were
considered as a target that every one might fire off their chaff and
witticism at with impunity. The terms "Bobby and Peeler"--after Robert
Peel, immediately became the cant words, together with "Blue Bottles,"
"Blue Devils," the "Royal Blues; or, the Cook's Own," and other opprobious
terms. Within a month of the establishing of the New Police--viz., on the
14th of October, 1829, one of the members, named John Jones, was charged,
at the Hatton Garden Police-station, with stealing a scrag of mutton, from
the stall-board of a butcher, named Samuel, in Skinner Street, Somer's
Town. The circumstance having been witnessed by a neighbour, he pursued
the policeman, and took him into custody. He had fifteen shillings and
sixpence in his pocket. In his defence, he said he was going to take the
mutton to show his wife. This was a circumstance that could not be lost
sight of by the Seven Dials printers, and several street-papers and
ballads were immediately issued on the subject, and continued to find a
ready sale for some months; while "Who stole the mutton?" became the
by-word. Following is one of the many ballads that appeared:--

THE NEW POLICEMAN, AND THE SOMERS TOWN BUTCHER.

Air--"_Bob and Joan._"

  Hollo! New Police,
    Who in blue coats, strut on,
  Your fame you wont increase
    By stealing joints of mutton,
  Who would e'er suppose,
    In such handsome rigging,
  Spick and span new clothes,
    Men would go a prigging?
          Hollo! New Police, &c., &c.

  At very little cost
    Jones wished to have a luncheon;
  But now the blade has lost
    His uniform and truncheon.
  Alas! the worthy soul,
    While the victuals bagging,
  Tho' a _scrag_ he stole
    Never dreamt of _scragging_.      Hollo! &c., &c.

  Off he made a move,
    And muttered in retreating,
  "D----, this will prove
    Very good eating!"
  With this bit of meat,
    Doubtless quite enraptur'd;
  But joy is very fleet,
    And Mr. Jones was captur'd.      Hollo! &c., &c.

  "Oh!" cried Mr. Jones,
    "This is inconvenient!
  Curse the mutton bones--
    Gentlemen, be lenient.
  This joint you will remark
    (The truth I won't conceal it),
  I _borrowed_ for a lark--
    I never meant to steal it."      Hollo! &c., &c.

  Here's a pretty prig,
    Thus went Somer's Sam on,
  First my meat to prig,
    And then to pitch his gammon.
  Borrow'd! blow me tight,
    Seeing is believing;
  I loves the thing vot's right,
    And always hated thieving.      Hollo! &c., &c.

  Peel's new plan, I say,
    Ought to be rejected,
  If this here's the way
    We're to be protected.
  These coves parade the street
    In dashing dark blue habit;
  But when they eye our meat,
    'Tis ten to one they grab it.      Hollo! &c., &c.

  'Twas droll to hear the chaff
    When they were embodied;
  Now it makes me laugh
    To see so many quodded.
  Thieves may feel secure,
    Whate'er the hour or weather,
  For Sam is very sure
    They are all rogues together.      Hollo! &c., &c.

The City of London successfully rejected the introduction of the New
Police within their territories. "They worn't a going to hav' no new
French Police Spy system in their ancient and honourable City," said
Alderman Cute-Grub-Bub-Turtle-and-Soup, "not if ve knows it." Therefore,
no one will be surprised at frequently reading in the newspapers of the
period paragraphs like the following:--

    THE EFFECTS OF THE NEW POLICE.

    At the Guildhall, on Monday, October 12th, 1829, after Sir Peter
    Laurie had admonished and discharged a disorderly woman, who had been
    accused of being noisy in the street, he asked her accuser, a
    watchman, named Livingstone, where his beat was? The watchman said it
    was from St. Dunstan's Church to Temple Bar. Do you find any increase
    of bad characters on your beat? Watchman (smilingly): Yes, I believe I
    do; the New Policemen drives 'em into the City. Sir Peter: Then you
    should drive them back again; it would be better than taking them up.
    Watchman: When there was a quarrel among them the other night, a
    policeman came up and drove them through the Bar, saying, "Ye shan't
    stand here; go into the City with your rows." Sir Peter Laurie said
    that he had heard that a police magistrate had directed the policemen
    to drive all bad characters into the City. If there was any truth in
    this, it was an imprudent--an improper observation. He desired the
    watchman present to drive all the bad characters out of the City. The
    thing must be put down. Subsequently, some vagrants were brought up,
    and Sir Peter told them to drive them out of the City instead of
    apprehending them in future. "We can play at tennis-ball," said the
    Alderman, in an under tone.

"Who stole the Mutton?" together with many other words and phrases in
reference to the supposed partiality of the police to _The Cook!_ _The
Kitchen!!_ and _The Cold Mutton!!!_ have clung to the service from the day
of its formation to the present time, while comic writers of all degrees,
in farces, burlesques, songs, and pantomimes, have never failed to make
capital out of the New Police, Peel's Raw-Lobsters, Peeler's, Blue
Bottles, &c., &c.

=Polito's Beasts.=--Polito, the Italian successor to Pidcock's Zoological
Collection, and very famous in his day. Attracted many thousands of
spectators every year at Bartholomew Fair.

=Pony.=--Money. _To post the pony_, to pay down the money, also the sum of
twenty-five pounds.

=Poundage Cove.=--A fellow who receives poundage for procuring a customer
for damaged goods--also a puffer at auction sales.

=Prads.=--Horses. The swell flashes a fine pair of horses.

=Press-Gang.=--Reporters, better known, perhaps, as gentlemen connected
with the _Press_!

=Prigs.=--Pickpockets, and snappers-up of unconsidered trifles in
general--from a needle to an anchor!

=Prime Twig.=--In high condition.

=Pudding Sleeves.=--A parson.

=Pull Out.=--To come it strong.

=Punch.=--From the Indian word punj (five); so called from its five
ingredients, viz., spirit, water, lemon, sugar and spice. It was
introduced into England from Spain, where it is called _ponche_. It is
said to be a great "contradiction," because it is composed of _spirits_ to
make it strong, and _water_ to make it weak, of _lemon juice_ to make it
sour, and _sugar_ to make it sweet.

=Pupil's-straits.=--School tuition.


Q.

=Quean.=--A slut, or worthless woman, a strumpet.

=Queer.=--Bad. _To Queer_, to puzzle, or confound.

=Quid.=--A guinea, rather a scarce article now.

=Qui-tam.=-A [X] species of lawyer, whose dealings are seldom or never on
the [square].

=Quiz.=--A strange looking fellow, an odd dog. _Oxford._

=Quod.=--Newgate, or any other prison.


R.

=Rag.=--Bank notes, money in general. The cove has no _Rag_; the fellow
has no money. _Rag-carrier_, an ensign.

=Rainbow.=--A tailor's pattern book.

=Rain Napper.=--An umbrella.

=Randall, Jack.=--Jack Randall, the _Nonpareil_ of the ring, died at his
house, the Hole-in-the-Wall, Chancery Lane, March 12th, 1828, aged 34.
Jack was an _Anglo-Irishman_, and first drew his breath in the Hibernian
colony of St. Giles. He was the hero of sixteen prize battles, and left
the ring undefeated. At this period it was considered he had received not
less than L1,200 by his good fortune, but "easy got, easy gone"--as fast
as it was got it was spent, until prudence suggested the expediency of
laying the foundation of something substantial for his family, and he
accordingly closed his bargain for the Hole-in-the-Wall, under the
patronage of General Barton, his friends giving him a pipe of wine,
instead of a piece of plate, to commence operations. From henceforth he
pursued the business of a publican, and was highly respected by all ranks
of the _Fancy_. Tom Moore, the Irish poet, was a frequenter of his house,
and it was there that he picked up most of his material for his "Tom
Cribb's Memorial to Congress," &c. The liberality of his friends, however,
added to his own predilection for _daffey_, gradually paved the way to the
"break-up" of his constitution, and for the last few months of his life he
was but the shadow of his former self.

  Alas! poor Jack lies on his back,
    As flat as any flounder:
  Although he died of a _bad inside_,
    No _heart_ was ever _sounder_.

  The _Hole-in-the-Wall_ was once his _stall_,
    His _crib_ the _Fancy_ name it:
  A _hole in the ground_ he now has found,
    And no one else will claim it.

  But too much _lush_ man's strength will crush,
    And so found poor Jack Randall:
  His fame once bright as morning light,
    Now's out, like _farthing candle_.

=Rap.=--Money, indifferent of what coin.

=Rattler.=--A Hackney coach. _Rattler_ and _Prad_, a coach and horses.
_Rattling-cove_, a coachman.

=Reader.=--A pocket book.

=Ready.=--Money--not always _ready_.

=Red Tape.=--Brandy.

=Reeve, John.=--_Glorious Jack!_ Comedian, died January 24, 1838, aged 39.

=Regular.=--In proper course. _Regulars_, the usual share of the booty.

=Rent.=--Money. _Nap the rent_, receive money.

=Rhino.=--Money.--May there always be plenty _rhino_ betwixt the chaps
that you and I know.

=Rig-Out.=--A suit of clothes.

=Right and Fly.=--Complete.

=River Tick.=--Tradesmen's books.

=Rolled-up.=--Put in a sponging-house.

=Roses, Pinks and Tulips.=--Nobility.

=Rosy Gills.=--One with a sanguine or fresh-coloured countenance.

=Row.=--A street broil.

=Rumbler.=--A Hackney coach.

=Rum One.=--A knowing one.

=Rum Peck.=--Good grub.

=Rum Slim.=--Mixed wine or liquor, Rum Punch.

=Russell, Samuel.=--_Otherwise_ "Jerry Sneak Russell," from the very
admirable manner in which he played the character of the henpecked cockney
lout in Foote's farce of "The Mayor of Garratt." Mr. Russell was for some
years manager of the Theatre Royal, Brighton, where he produced "Tom and
Jerry" in 1822. After a long life of toil and trouble as a manager, actor,
and--the father of a large family, a charitable benefit was got up for him
at the Haymarket Theatre, July 1st, 1841, when "Macbeth" was performed,
with Charles Kean as Macbeth; Mr. S. Phelps, Macduff; Lady Macbeth, Miss
Ellen Tree. After which Mr. Russell spoke an address thanking his kind
friends and patrons for their support and patronage; explaining that he
deemed it necessary to address them before his final appearance on the
stage, least he should not have the nerve power to do so afterwards. Then
followed THE MAYOR OF GARRATT, Jerry Sneak (for the last time), Mr.
Russell; Major Sturgeon, Mr. Robert Strickland. Unfortunately the money
realized by the Benefit, and the private subscription list, was
injudiciously invested in a very risky security; and a year or two
afterwards the house of business failing the whole of it was irretrievably
lost. Mr. Russell died at his daughter's residence, Gravesend, February
25, 1845, aged 79.


S.

=Sadler's Wells.=--The oldest theatre in London, and named in part from a
mineral spring, which was superstitiously dispensed by the monks of the
Priory of St. John of Jerusalem, from an early date. In the reign of
Charles II. a Mr. Sadler, built here a music-house, and in 1683,
re-discovered while digging gravel for his garden the _Holy Well_ of
"excellent steel water" which in 1684 was visited and drunk by hundreds of
persons of every degree in their morning's walk. In 1765, Mr. Rosoman
converted Sadler's Wells garden into a theatre. Mr. King, of Drury Lane
Theatre, was long a partner and stage-manager, and Charles Dibdin and his
sons Thomas and Charles were proprietors. Grimaldi, father, son and
grandson, were famous clowns. The season of 1803 is memorable for the
appearance of the celebrated Italian traveller Signor Benzoni, as the
Patagonian Samson, in which character he performed prodigious feats of
strength. Wine was sold and drunk on the premises until 1807, under the
old regulation,--"for an additional sixpence, every spectator was allowed
a pint of either port, Lisbon, mountain, or punch." On the 15th of
October, 1807, twenty three persons, male and female, were killed, and
many dangerously injured by reason of a false alarm of "Fire!" New River
water was introduced in a tank under the stage, and plays were written and
arranged so as to display "Real Water" in some of the scenes, and the
place advertised as the AQUATIC THEATRE SADLER'S WELLS. In some cases the
"good young man" and rightful heir to the estate, was basely and
unmercifully hurled from some rock-work into the angry and surging billows
below; by the hired myrmidons of the "Cruel Squire" of the Castle: then it
was that the real dog would plunge into the real water, and rescue the
real Count De Montfordiano from perdition. At other times the Lord of
----"the star-breasted villain," was set upon by the highly virtuous
villagers, for having disgraced the "Village-born Beauty," who chased him
in and out, and all round about the huge mountain-pass which overhung the
"Perilous Pool," until his noble Lordship! was captured, and then hurled
into the "depths below," and while his _dummy!_ body was descending, it
was shot--in two places, by Robin the Ploughman and Virtuous
Villager--"under whose calf-skin waistcoat beat a heart truer than all the
Lords, Dukes and Squires in wide England and Foreign parts." Pierce Egan's
own version of "Tom and Jerry"--the "AUTHOR'S PIECE" was performed for the
first time on Monday, April 8, 1822; TOM, Mr. Elliott; JERRY, Mr. Keeley;
LOGIC, Mr. Vale. But the more honourable distinction of Sadler's Wells
Theatre is the admirable representation of Elizabethan plays under the
able management of Mrs. Warner and Messrs. Phelps and Greenwood, by whom
it was made "the popular retreat of the regular drama"--1844-59 and 1861.

=Sam=--_To Stand Sam._--To pay for the whole of the reckoning. _Sammy_ is
he who is fool enough to do it.

=Sanders, John.=--"_Old Jack of the Adelphi_"--and original Black Sal,
died December 9, 1865, aged 66.

=Saving one's Bacon.=--Taking care of one's self.

=Schneider.=--A tailor. Scholars will perceive this "cognomen is _german_
to the matter."

=Scamp.=--A street-walking vagabond of the lowest order.

=Scarce.=--_Non est inventus._

=Scout.=--A watchman.

=Scran.=--Food in general.

=Screen.=--A bank-note.

=Screw.=--A turnkey.

=Screw Loose.=--Something wrong.

=Seven Dials Bard.=--

  There is a pleasure in poetic pains,
  Which only Poets know.

"Yonder, sir, is Mr. Goosequill, one of the 'Seven Bards of the Seven
Dials,' a clever man, who came to town with half-a-crown in his pocket,
and his tragedy, called the 'Mines of Peru,' by which he of course
expected to make his fortune. For five years he danced attendance on the
manager, in order to hear tidings of its being 'cast,' and put into
rehearsal, and four years more in trying to get it back again. During the
process he was groaned, laughed, whistled, guyed, and nearly kicked out of
the secretary's room, who swore--which well he might do, considering the
exhausted treasury of the concern--that he knew nothing about, or ever
heard of the 'Mines of Peru.' At last Mr. Goosequill, being shown into the
manager's kitchen, to wait till he was at leisure, had the singular
pleasure of seeing two acts of the 'Mines of Peru' daintily fastened round
a savory capon on the spit, to preserve it from the scorching influence of
the fire.

"'This was _foul_ treatment,' I observed, and I ventured to ask how he had
subsisted during the meanwhile? 'Why he first made an agreement with a
printer of Ballads, Last Dying Speeches and Confessions, &c., living in
the Seven Dials, who finding his inclinations led to poetry, expressed his
satisfaction, telling him that one of his poets had lost his senses, and
was confined in Bedlam, and another was dazed with drinking drams. An
agreement was made, and he earned five shillings and
two-pence-three-farthings per week as his share of this speculation with
the muses. But his profits were not always certain. He had often the
pleasure of dining with Duke Humphrey, and for this reason he turned his
thoughts to prose; and in this walk he was eminently successful, for
during a week of gloomy weather he published an _apparition_, on the
_substance_ of which he subsisted very comfortably for a month. He often
makes a good meal upon a monster. A _rape_ has often afforded him great
satisfaction, but a _murder_--an out-and-out _murder_--if well timed, is
board, lodging, and washing, with a feast of nectared sweets for many a
day.'"

=Shaking the Shallow.=--Tossing in a hat. Three or more coins are shaken
together in the hat, then cast out on the table, most heads or most tails
being the winner or loser, according to the calling of the players.

=Sharps.=--Persons ready to take you in on all occasions.

=Shell Out.=--Subscribe, or club their pence together.

=Shirk.=--To skulk or get off.

=Shove in the Mouth.=--A glass of gin.

=Shoulder Knot.=--A man-trap or bailiff.

=Six and Eight-pence.=--A lawyer of the first order of _Sharks_, whose
whole object in commencing an action is to make a "bill of costs."

=Sketch-Room.=--THE--in CORINTHIAN HOUSE which was principally dedicated
to the productions of the late GEORGE MORLAND, JERRY was rather more if
not quite at home, almost skipping with rapture as his eye ran over the
subjects of that unrivalled genius of the pencil. NATURE was seen so
strongly at every touch that JERRY nearly fancied himself again at
HAWTHORN HALL, looking at his dogs, pigs, and horses.

"It was the opinion of CORINTHIAN TOM, in his remarks to JERRY, when the
latter first entered this apartment, that if MORLAND had only painted half
the number of subjects which are now before the public, their value might
have been enhanced twice as much; and _finished_ pictures, instead of
_sketches_, most likely would have been the result. This was the reason
TOM assigned to JERRY for having it called the SKETCH-ROOM. 'Nine times
out of ten,' said TOM, 'dull matter-of-fact calculation is not allied with
genius.' _Money_, to GEORGE MORLAND, was a _colour_ that he did not paint
with; and, therefore, respecting its _value_, he seemed to know nothing.
_Embarrassment_ and the Catchpoles first drew up the curtain and showed
him the iron bars which stopped his thoughtless career. They also
explained to him, in the most feeling manner, the _uses_ of a strong lock.
They likewise pointed out to GEORGE the difference in his
_prospects_,--not in an artist-like manner to his 'mind's eye,' but in a
clear distinct way of business, that _twenty shillings_ make a POUND. For
the _moment_, he keenly felt the disgusting _cramped_ situation of Carey
Street,[40] which compelled him to _peep_ at his objects, through the
rails of his apartment: for the _moment_, also, he felt the immediate
_necessity_ of procuring the gold _talismanic_ key to give him once more
liberty, again to wander amidst the beauties of nature: it was then that
MORLAND painted for _money_: it was then that GENIUS was in fetters: it
was then that rapid _exertions_ got the better of his _taste_. 'The sooner
you paint _me_ a picture, MR. MORLAND,' said the _leary_ Bum-trap, 'the
sooner the door will be open to you. Freedom is in view,--and I'll
discharge your debt.' No skilful angler ever threw his line into waters
with more _coaxing_ bait to hook the poor fish, than Mr. _Screw_ 'tried it
on' with his prisoner. It was plausible: it was better,--it gave no
trouble to his acquaintance: it also prevented _shyness_ or REFUSAL from
his friends. The lock-up-house, by such means lost its terror. Employment
was found for the mind and pencil of _Morland_. He experienced no
_shiverings_ of the body--no feverish _parched-up_ tongue, waiting with
the most anxious suspense for the return of the messenger to bring the NO,
which ultimately sent him to jail, or the delightful YES, that set the
prisoner once more at liberty. On the contrary, GEORGE was quite at home.
He did as his inclinations prompted him. Jolly fellows called on him in
abundance; and the song and the glass went round with the freedom of a
tavern. All his wants were supplied, and the _misery_ of a spunging-house
was not seen in MORLAND'S apartments. In fact, he was better attended than
when out of it. From the _top screw_ to the _stamper cleaner_, all of them
felt an interest in waiting upon the 'GREAT GENIUS,' as he was termed, in
order to take a sly peep at his paintings. _Here_ GEORGE set no price to
his pictures, but when he was tired of his companions, and his confined
situation, he then industriously, and in a short time, _painted_ himself
out of the lock-up house. _Lumbering_ him, never afterwards gave MORLAND
any horrors: and, whenever he was in _trouble_, the same kind of judgment
was repeated, time and often, till Mr. _Screw_ had realized a tolerable
collection of valuable paintings. This officer was rather fond of
paintings himself; but when any gentleman took a fancy to purchase any of
them, Mr. _Screw_ never betrayed a want of knowledge of their value--by
the _prices_ he affixed to them. MORLAND died at the premature age of 41,
in October 29, 1804--dissipated habits proved his _quietus_."

=Slang.=--St. Giles's Greek--a conversational expression of an irregular,
more or less vulgar, type, familiar to and in vogue among a certain class.

=Slavey.=--Servants of all work, in allusion to their laborious employment
and hard work.

=Slipped Cover.=--Got away.

=Sluice.=--To drink. _Sluice your whistle_, wet your throat.

=Sly.=--Contraband. _On the sly_, concealed, unlawful.

=Smart Blunt.=--Forfeit money.

=Smash your Countenance.=--To give a thump on the face.

=Smell a Rat.=--To suspect or discover any concealed thing, _a la Hamlet_.
_Vide_ Old Polonius behind the arras: "A rat, a rat; dead, for a ducat,
dead."

=Smeller.=--The nose. _A smeller_, a blow on the nose.

=Smokey.=--Suspicious.

=Sneezer.=--The _Conk_ or nose.

=Snicker.=--A small tumbler.

=Snip.=--Mr. Snip a tailor.--Come in, taylor, here you may warm your
goose.--_Macbeth._

=Snowball.=--A Negro, or chimney sweeper.

=Soho Bazaar, The.=--The first of its kind in England, was established by
John Trotter, Esq., to whose family it still belongs. The building covers
a space of 300 feet by 150, and extends from the Square to Dean Street on
the one hand, and to Oxford Street on the other. The bazaar occupies two
floors, and has counter accommodation for upwards of 160 tenants. The two
principal rooms in the building are about ninety feet long, and in them
the visitor may find almost every trade represented. One large room is set
apart for the sale of books, another for furniture, and another for birds,
cages, &c.; and at one end of the latter room is a large recess, occupied
with a rustic aviary, through which runs a stream of water. Connected with
the bazaar are offices for the registration of governesses and the hire of
servants, &c.; and the scene that here presents itself during business
hours is one well worthy of a visit. The bazaar has been frequently
patronised by royalty.

THE SOHO BAZAAR.

  Ladies in furs, and gemmen in spurs,
    Who lollop and lounge about all day:
  The Bazaar in Soho is completely the go--
    Walk into the shop of Grimaldi!
        Come from afar, here's the Bazaar!--
        But if you won't deal with us, stay where you are.

  Here's rouge to give grace to an old woman's face,
    Trowsers of check for a sailor;
  Here's a cold ice, if you pay for it twice,
    And here's a hot goose for a tailor.
        Soho Bazaar, come from afar:
        Sing ri fal de riddle, and tal de ral la.

  Here's a cock'd hat, or an opera flat--
    Here's a broad brim for a Quaker;
  Here's a white wig for a Chancery prig,
    And here's a light weight for a baker.
                      Soho Bazaar, &c.

  A fringed parasol, or a toad-in-the-hole.
    A box of japan to hold backy;
  Here's a relief for a widow in grief--
    A quartern of Hodge's jacky.
                      Soho Bazaar, &c.

  Here, long enough, is a lottery puff
    (I was half-drunk when it caught me);
  It promised, my eyes! what a capital prize:
    And here's all the rhino it brought me.
                      Soho Bazaar, &c.

  "Put it down to the bill," is the fountain of ill
    This has the shopkeepers undone;
  Bazaars never trust--so down with your dust,
    And help us to diddle all London.
                      Soho Bazaar, &c.

=Something Short.=--_A drop of summat short._ A glass of spirits, neat,
unmixed--_straight_!

=Some Tune.=--A large amount.

=Spavined.=--Damaged, injured.

=Speeling.=--Gambling generally.

=Spellken.=--A playhouse:--Lord Byron in his _Don Juan_, Canto xi., stanza
19, uses the word in that sense, and then by way of a foot note, adds--

    The advance of science and of language has rendered it unnecessary to
    translate the above good and true English, spoken in its original
    purity by the select nobility and their patrons. The following is a
    stanza of a song which was very popular, at least in my early days:--

        On the high toby-spice flash the muzzle,
          In spite of each gallows old scout:
        If you at the _spellken_ can't hustle,
          You'll be hobbled in making a clout.

        Then your Blowing will wax gallows haughty
          When she hears of your scaly mistake,
        She'll surely turn snitch for the forty,
          That her Jack may be regular weight.

    If there be any gem'men so ignorant as to require a translation, I
    refer him to my old friend and corporeal pastor and master, John
    Jackson, Esq., Professor of Pugilism; who, I trust, still retains the
    strength and symmetry of his model of a form, together with his good
    humour, and athletic as well as mental accomplishments.

=Spike Hotel.=--The King's Bench, the Fleet, or any other prison.

=Spree.=--A bit of fun.

=Stand.=--To treat. _Stand the nonsense_, to pay the reckoning, very great
nonsense when there's no occasion for it. _Stand Sammy_, to pay for other
people.

=Stand Still.=--A table.

=Stark Naked.=--Pure gin, neat without water.

=Staunch.=--Bang up to the neck, the thing!

=Steamer.=--A pipe. _A swell steamer_, a long pipe--Churchwarden.

=Stiffener.=--A letter.

=Straw Chipper.=--A straw bonnet maker.

=St. Giles' Greek.=--Cant language. _See_ CANT.

=Street Solicitors.=--Mendicity Societies' clients, a class of beings
that, as before mentioned, BODKIN makes it a _point_ to take care of, in
other words--_beggars_.

=String of Onions.=--Costermongers, and others of the lower class.

=Stringer.=--A mace cove, or line man, in plain English a cheat.

=Stumpy.=--Money.

=Stunning Joe Banks.=--Who was in all that's _flash_, "bang-up to the
knocker," and for many years a very popular and much respected London
character. He kept a renowned _lush-crib_ called the "Hare and Hounds,"
formerly the "Beggar in the Bush;" in No. 1, Buckeridge Street, within the
classic region the "_Holy Land_," or more frequently termed the _Rookery_
in the heart of St. Giles'. Joe Banks, "mine host" of this boosing-ken;
was a civil, rough, good natured, and very elaborate specimen of the
_genus homo_, possessing a flow of spirits as extensive as his person.
Good nature and conviviality were his leading characteristics, although
his regular customers were composed of the veriest cadgers both male and
female. The girls without shoes or stockings, clad in rags and jags. The
male cadgers seldom or never used a comb or a pocket handkerchief:--

  No _small tooth-trap_ their locks disposes
  No 'kerchiefs white attack their noses.

It was the fashion of the day for all the _lively spirits--flash kiddies_
and country cousins curious in such matters to visit Stunning Joe Banks'
"CITY OF THE CADGERS" on such occasions, the persons and property of all
were sacred while under his roof, and escorted through the intricacies of
the "ROOKERY," by Joe himself--or in his temporary absence by a well and
truly trusted _aide-de-camp!_ in order that they might not be in any way
molested after leaving his house.

In conclusion we may add that "Stunning Joe Banks's" _drum_ was the resort
of all classes, from the aristocratic marquis--especially he, who before
he _mizzled_, _hailed_ from Waterford!--to the _downy_ vagabond, whose way
of living was a puzzle to himself.

=Sufferer.=--A tailor or creditor.

=Suspicion of Debt.=--Owing two or three thousand pounds.

=Swag.=--Money, from its appetency to make its possessor _swagger_. _Bag
the Swag_, to collect money.

=Swaddies.=--Soldiers.

=Swallow-tail.=--A dress, or tail coat.

=Swell.=--A dashing buck.

=Swill Tub.=--A drunkard, a sot.

=Syntax.=--A schoolmaster.


T.

=Tag, Rag and Bobtail.=--Extremes of low life.

=Tape.=--Spirits--white and red.

=Tartar.=--A sour one, a shrewish woman, a scolding wife.

=Tattersall in the Rostrum.=--"Gentlemen, what can you hesitate about?
Only look at her! She is one of the most beautiful creatures that I have
ever had the honour of submitting to your notice! So gentle in her paces;
indeed, so safe a goer, that a child might ride her. Her pedigree is
excellent--she is thorough-bred from her ear to her hoof; and the Herald's
College could not produce a more sound and satisfactory one--she comes
from a good house, I pledge, my word, gentlemen. My Lord Duke, will you
allow me to say L250 for your Grace? She will, notwithstanding the
excellence of your Grace's stud, be an ornament to it. She is a
picture--complete to a shade; in fact, I could gaze upon her for ever, and
always be struck with some new beauty she possesses. Thank you, My Lord
Duke, I was certain your Grace would not let such an opportunity pass.
There is not a horse-dealer in the kingdom who can show such a fine
creature! She is above competition--I may say, she is matchless! The
Regent's Park might be betted to a mole-hill with safety that she has no
parallel. Sir Henry, let me call your attention to CLEOPATRA! She is like
her namesake in the olden times--but beautiful without paint! She is pure
Nature, and no vice! Her action, Sir Henry--yes, her action--I could
dilate upon it for a quarter of an hour--but _puffing_ is out of the
question--you shall judge for yourself. Run her down, John--The Graces, I
am sure, _Sir Harry_, were they to behold her movements, would be out of
temper with her captivating excellence! _Taglioni_, I must admit, can
perform wonders with her pretty feet, but _Cleopatra_, my Lord Duke, can
_distance_ the whole of them put together; and positively leave the Opera
House with all its talent, in the back ground. In fact, I am deficient in
words to display her immense capabilities--L300, _Going!_ L300. Thank you,
my Lord Duke, she must be yours. For the last time, going at L310; but I
will do the handsome thing, I will allow you five minutes to compose your
mind--I am well aware that such unparalleled beauty is very
dazzling--therefore, before you lose sight of this handsome creature, I do
impress upon you, to remember that the opportunity once lost--L320; Sir
Harry, I am obliged to you--the world has always acknowledged you as a man
of great taste in matters of this kind; and without flattery, you have
never shown it more than in the present instance--according to the poet,
'Beauty; or, Loveliness, needs not the foreign aid of ornament, but is,
when unadorned, adorned the most!' _Going_--CLEOPATRA, my Lord Duke, will
be in other hands if your Grace does not make up your mind in your usual
princely style of doing things--a good bidding will make CLEOPATRA your
own for ever, therefore, now's the time to put on the _distancing_ power,
and your Grace will win the race in a canter! L340, my Lord Duke, I can
only express my gratitude to say, that you have done me
honour--_Going!--Going!!--Going!!!_--in fact, gentlemen, I am like an
artist in this case, I do not like to leave such a delightful picture and
I could _dwell_ upon the qualities of CLEOPATRA to the very echo that
applauds again and again! But most certainly I have given you all a fair
chance--CLEOPATRA is on the _go_--are you all silent--_going_ for L340,
after all, what is that sum for one of the greatest English beauties ever
submitted to the inspection of the public! L350, thank you, Sir
Charles--worth your money at any price. I have witnessed your notice of
CLEOPATRA for some time past--she will bear looking at, again and again!
Charming CLEOPATRA! I am glad to see she has so many suitors for her
_hand_--I beg pardon, gentlemen--a slip will happen to the best of us--her
_feet_ I should have said, but nevertheless, I am happy to see she has a
host of admirers. I cannot _bid_ myself, or else I would 'make play' and
CLEOPATRA should become a noble prize--L370. Bravo! my Lord Duke! for L370
positively, yes, positively, 'pon my honour, positively the last time--or
else the beautiful CLEOPATRA goes into the _keeping_ of my Lord Duke. You
are sure, gentlemen, that you have all done? Don't blame me, but blame
yourselves! Going _once_! Going _twice_! Going _three
times--Going--Gone!!!_ CLEOPATRA belongs to the Duke. 'JERRY expressed
himself so much pleased with his visit to TATTERSALL'S, that he observed
to LOGIC, during his stay in London he should often frequent it.' 'I
delight,' said HAWTHORN, 'to be in the company of sportsmen; and no
objects afford me greater satisfaction than the sight of a fine
hunter,--the view of a high-mettled racer,--and the look of a _perfect_
greyhound.' 'I admire them also,' replied the CORINTHIAN; 'and
TATTERSALL'S will always prove an agreeable lounge, if no direct purpose
call a person thither. If nothing more than INFORMATION be acquired, that
_alone_, JERRY, to a man of the world, is valuable at all times. Besides,
TATTERSALL'S gives a _tone_ to the _sporting_ world, in the same way that
the transactions on the ROYAL EXCHANGE influence the mercantile part of
society. It has likewise its '_settling days_,' after the great races at
_Newmarket_, _Doncaster_, _Epsom_, _Ascot_, _&c._ I do not know about the
_bulls_ and _bears_;[41] but if it has no _lame ducks_ to _waddle_ out, it
has sometimes _Levanters_ that will not _show_ for a time, and others that
will _brush off_ altogether. But this does not happen very often; and
TATTERSALL'S has its '_good_ MEN' as well as the _'Change_, and whose
'_word_,' will be taken for any amount. It has also its Subscription-room,
which is extremely convenient for gentlemen and other persons who feel any
inclination to become acquainted with the events of the sporting world, at
the moderate charge of _one guinea_ a year. Indeed,' continued TOM, 'there
is an air of sporting about this place altogether; elegance, cleanliness,
and style, being its prominent features. The company, I admit, is a
_mixture_ of persons of nearly all ranks in life; but, nevertheless, it is
that sort of _mixture_ which is pleasingly interesting; there is no
_intimacy_ or _association_ about it. A man may be well known here; he may
also in his turn _know_ almost everybody that visits TATTERSALL'S; and yet
be quite a _stranger_ to their habits and connections with society. It is
no matter who _sells_ or who purchases at this repository. A _bet_ stands
as good with a LEG, and is thought as much of, as with a PEER,--MONEY
being the _touchstone_ of the circumstance. The 'best judge' respecting
sporting events is acknowledged the 'best man' here; every person being on
the 'look out' to see how he _lays_ his _blunt_. The DUKE and the
_Parliamentary Orator_, if they do not know the properties of a horse, are
little more than cyphers; it is true they may be _stared_ at, if pointed
out as great characters, but nothing more. The _nod_ from a
_stable-keeper_ is quite as important, if not more so, to the Auctioneer,
as the _wink_ of a RIGHT HONOURABLE. Numbers of persons who visit
TATTERSALL'S are, or wish to, appear _knowing_: from which '_self_'
importance they are often most egregiously duped. In short, if you are not
as familiar with the _odds_ upon all events as CHITTY in quoting
precedents--show as intimate an acquaintance with the _pedigree_ and
_speed_ of race-horses as a GULLEY--and also display as correct a
knowledge of the various capabilities of the prize pugilists as a
JACKSON--if GAIN is your immediate object, you are 'of no _use_' at
TATTERSALL'S,' 'Yes,' said LOGIC, with a grin, interrupting TOM; 'there
are to be found here as many _flats_ and _sharps_ as would furnish the
_score_ of a musical composer; and several of these _instruments_ have
been so much played upon, and are so wretchedly out of _tune_, that the
most skilful musician in the world cannot restore them to perfect
_harmony_.' 'It is,' resumed the CORINTHIAN, 'an excellent mart for the
disposal of carriages, horses, dogs, &c., and many a fine fellow's _stud_
has been _floored_ by the hammer of TATTERSALL. There is a capacious TAP
attached to the premises, for the convenience of servants of gentlemen in
attendance upon their masters, or for any person who stands in need of
refreshment. TATTERSALL'S, for the purposes intended, is the most
complete place in the Metropolis; and if you have any desire to witness
'real life'--to observe _character_--and to view the favourite _hobbies_
of mankind, it is the resort of the _pinks_ of the SWELLS,--the _tulips_
of the GOES,--the _dashing_ heroes of the military,--the fox hunting
clericals,--sprigs of nobility,--stylish coachmen,--smart guards,--saucy
butchers,--natty grooms,--tidy helpers,--knowing horse-dealers,--_betting_
publicans,--neat jockeys,--sporting men of all descriptions,--and the
picture is finished by numbers of real gentlemen. It is the tip-top
sporting feature in London.' 'It must have been the work of some time,'
said JERRY, 'to have formed such a famous connection.' 'Yes,' replied TOM;
'you are quite right. It is not the _work_ of a day. The name of
TATTERSALL is not only high, but of long standing in the sporting world;
and everything connected with this splendid establishment is conducted in
the most gentlemanly manner. The founder of these premises was during his
time, viewed as one of the best judges of horse-flesh in the kingdom; and,
as a proof of it, he made his fortune by a horse called HIGHFLYER.'"

=Tattler.=--A watch. "Time's a tell tale."

=Teazer of the Catgut.=--A hardworking fiddler.

=Thames.=--"_He'll never set the Thames on fire_," _i.e._, He will never
make any figure in the world. This popular phrase is as to the word
"THAMES" altogether a misapplication. The _temse_ was a corn sieve which
was worked in former times over the receiver of the sifted flour. A
hard-working active man would not unfrequently ply the _temse_ so quickly
as to set fire to the wooden hoop at the bottom; but a lazy fellow would
never--no never set the _temse_ on fire! The play on the word _temse_ has
engendered many stupid imitations as "He will never set the Mersey--or the
Humber, &c., on fire," which has no meaning. Dutch, _teme_; French,
_tamis_; Italian, _tamiso_, a sieve.

=Thigh of Mutton and Smash.=--A boiled leg of mutton, with turnips and
caper sauce, &c. A prominent article among _pot-house_ gamblers.

=Thimble.=--A watch.

=Third of Daffy.=--Third part of a quartern of gin.

=Timber Merchant.=--A dealer in the old-fashioned brimstone matches.

=Tip your Rags a Gallop.=--To run away.

=Tip.=--Money. _To be in Tip-street_, to have plenty of money, "a
consummation devoutly to be wished."

Toddle.--To move your pins.

=Toggery.=--Wearing apparel; from the Roman _toga_.

=Tom King.=--_The Jolly Dog_--"When did Tom King ever fail when the object
was to serve a friend and promote mirth?" Zounds! for a quiz, a hoax, a
joke, a jest, a song, a dance, a catch, a tale, a race, or a row. Tom King
would not turn his back on any man in England. A'n't I the choice spirit
of the day, the jolly dog, the roaring boy, the knowing lad, the rare
blood, the prime buck, the rum soul, the funny fellow? Emperor of the
Cockonians! Chairman of the Jacks! General of the Lumber Troop! Master of
the Mugs! Chief of the Eccentrics! Member of Daffy's! President of the
Flounder Club! Chairman of the Owls! Chancellor of the Two o'Clock Club!
Vice-Chairman of the Hard-up Club! Captain of the Rag and Famish! Chairman
of the Never Sinks! Founder of the Snugs! Member of the Beef-steak Club!
Past Primo of all the BUFFALOES Lodges held within the precincts of the
City of Lushington! Noble Grand of the Oddfellows! Past-Arch of the
Druids! And Vice of half the Freemasons' Lodges in the United Kingdom! And
though last, not least, in love, Founder of the Moral Philosophers' Club!
Oh, d----n! Tom King is the Jolly Dog! of the day.

=Top of the Tree.=--The heads of their profession.

=Tooth Picker.=--An Irish watchman's shillelah.

=Tothill Fields.=--Situate between Pimlico and the Thames, formerly a
great rendezvous for beggars, thieves, &c.

=Tow Street.=--Being decoyed or persuaded by any person.

=Town Tabby.=--Dowager of quality.

=Traps.=--Constables.

=Translator of Soles.=--A cobbler that can _vamp_ up old shoes to look
like new. A _prime_ piece of deception; and those persons who purchase
second-hand shoes soon find it out on a wet day.

=Trotters.=--The feet. _Walk your trotters_, to be off. _Trotter-cases_,
shoes. _Trotter shakers_, dancers.

=Turkey Merchant.=--A poulterer.

=Turf--The.=--The race course; the profession of horse racing, which is
done on turf or grass. One who lives by the turf, or one on the turf, is
one whose chief occupation or means of living is derived from running
horses or betting on races. All men are equal on the _turf_ and under
it.--_Lord George Bentinck._


U.

=Umbrella.=--Otherwise _mush, spread, summer cabbage, water-plant,
gingham, &c._ The first person who used an umbrella in the streets of
London was Jonas Hanway, founder of the Magdalene Hospital, who died 1786.

=Uncle.=--The pawnbroker. _See_ MY UNCLE.

=Under a Cloud.=--In debt and difficulties. Not able to show out, or come
to the front in daylight.

=Undergoing a Three Months' Preparation.=--The modern "New way to pay old
debts," or taking the Benefit of the Act! Sometimes resorted to by an
honest man overwhelmed by the harpies of the law, but more generally in
use among swindlers, scamps, blacklegs, rogues, and vagabonds of every
description.

=Under the Rose.=--_Sub rosa._--Secretly, confidentially. Amongst the
ancients the rose was an emblem of silence.

=Under the Screw.=--In prison.

=Uneasiness.=--Trouble. _To have the uneasiness_, to be vexed, restless.
_A copy of uneasiness_, a copy of a writ.

=Up.=--Knowledge. _To be up_, to understand. _Up to trap_, aware of
things.

=Uphills.=--False dice that run high.

=Upper Benjamin.=--A great coat.

=Upper Crust.=--The lions or crack men of the day.

=Upper Story, or Garret.=--Figuratively used to signify the head.

=Upper Ten Thousand.=--The aristocracy.

=Uppish.=--Testy, apt to take offence, proud, arrogant.

=Upstarts.=--Persons lately raised to honours and riches, from mean
stations.

=Used Up.=--Killed; a military saying, originating from a message sent by
the late General Guise, on the expedition at Carthagena, where he desired
the Commander-in-chief to order him some more grenadiers, for those he had
were all _used up_!


V.

=Vale, Samuel.=--Low comedian, died March 24, 1848, aged 51.

=Various Classes of Society.=--"'Now my dear Coz,' said TOM, 'as we shall
soon have to intermix with the '_various classes of society_;' and
although it is not absolutely necessary that you should be able to dispute
the accuracy of a _Greek quotation_ with a PORSON--contend with a MOZART
upon the fundamental _principles of harmony_--enter into a dissertation on
the properties of _light and shade_ with a REYNOLDS--quote _precedents_
with a SPEAKER of the House of Commons--argue _law_ with an ELDON--display
a knowledge of _tactics_ with a WELLINGTON--write _poetry_ with a
BYRON--relate _history_ with a GIBBON--contest _grammatical points_ with a
HORNE TOOKE--_wit_ and _eloquence_ with a CANNING--support the _Old
English Character_ with a WYNDHAM--_dance_ with an OSCAR BYRNE--_fence_
with an O'SHAUNESSY--_set-to_ with a BELCHER--_sing_ with BRAHAM--contest
the _law of nations_ with a LIVERPOOL--_erudition_ with a
JOHNSON--_philosophy_ with a PALEY--the _wealth of nations_ with a
SMITH--_astronomy_ with an HERSCHEL--_physiognomy_ with a
LAVATER--_equity_ with a ROMILLY--and so on to the end of the Chapter of
Talents in the Metropolis;--although it is not necessary, I again repeat,
my dear Coz, that you should be able to rival all the traits of
excellences possessed by the above characters, yet it is essentially
requisite that you should have some knowledge of their respective
qualities, and be sensibly alive to their immediate value, and the
impression they have made on the minds of mankind.' 'Hold, hold!' said
JERRY, smiling, and making a low bow at the same time; 'there is one
person among these distinguished men that you have forgot to mention--who
shall dispute _taste_ with CORINTHIAN TOM?' The latter hero gave rather a
graceful _nod_ in return for this unexpected compliment, which, it would
seem, augured to TOM a kind of budding of the lively genius of his
cousin's mind."

=Vauxhall Gardens=--were sold by auction, 9th September, 1841, for
L20,000. The last performance took place 25th July, 1859. The ground has
been since sold for building purposes.--In allusion to the _thinness_ and
artist-like manner in which the _ham_ was brought to table. LOGIC offered
to bet JERRY "that it was not _cut_ with a _knife_, but _shaved_ off with
a _plane_: and, if necessary, from its transparent quality, conceived it
might answer the purpose of a _sky-light_!" _Vauxhall Slices!_ or _Ham
Shavings!_ are terms well understood to this day.

A Vauxhall supper usually consisted of:--

      Lilliput chickens boil'd,
  Bucellas warm from Vauxhall ice;
  And hams that flit in airy slice,
      And salads scarcely soil'd.--_London Mag., Sept., 1824._

=Velvet.=--The tongue. "_To be upon velvet_," have the best of a bet or
match.

=Venus.=--Love; the Goddess of Love; courtship. _My Venus turns out a
whelp_, _i.e._, my swans are changed to geese; my cake is dough. In dice
the best cast--three sixes--was called "Venus," and the worst--three
aces--was called "Canis." My win-all turns out to be a lose-all!

=View-Holloa= of a fox is "Tally-ho!" or, as _Jemmy Green_ would have it,
"_Tally-man!_" of a _hare_, "Gone away!" but the "Who-hoop" signifies the
death of each.

=Viper and File.=--The biter bit.--AEsop says a viper found a file, and
tried to bite it, under the supposition that it was good food; but the
file said that its province was to bite others, and not to be bitten.

=Vowel.=--"_To vowel a debt._" Where the acknowledgment of the debt is
expressed by the vowels I.O.U.

  Let old I.O.U.'s be forgot,
    And never brought to mind,
  Let Writs and Judgments be forgot
    And the Bills that I have signed


W.

=Waifs and Strays.=--The juvenile homeless poor. Waifs are goods found but
not claimed. Strays are animals that have wandered from their proper
enclosures to the grounds of some one not their owner.

=Walking Poulterer.=--One who steals fowls, and hawks them from door to
door.

=Walking Stationer.=--A hawker of books, prints and dying-speeches, &c.

=Walking-up against the Wall.=--To run up a score, which in alehouses is
commonly recorded with chalk on the walls of the bar.

=Wapping Great.=--Means astonishingly great. Saxon, _Wafian_, to be
astonished.

=Ware Hawk.=--An exclamation used by thieves to inform their confederates
that some police officers are at hand.

=Warming-pan.=--A large old fashioned watch.

=Watch, Chain and Seals.=--A sheep's head and pluck.

=Watchmaker.=--A stealer of watches--he _makes_ them in a crowd!

=Water Sneaksman.=--A man who steals from ships or crafts on the river.

=Ways and Means.=--To raise the supply of ready money for the current
expenses of the day.

=Wear the Breeches.=--To be White Serjeant.

=Weasel.=--"_To catch a weasel asleep._" To catch a person nodding; to
find he has not his weather-eye open--_Nunquam dormio!_

=Weather-Eye.=--"_I have my weather-eye open._" I have my wits about me; I
know what I am after: I can see the difference between a clock and a
cabbage.

=Wedge.=--Silver plate, because melted by the receivers of stolen goods
into wedges.

=West-End Tailor--A.=--"CORINTHIAN TOM had just ordered his servant to
bring him '_The Weekly Dispatch_,' to see how sporting matters had been
going on in the Metropolis during his absence from town, when Mr.
Primefit--the West-End _Schneider_!--_Par excellence!_--was announced to
MR. HAWTHORN to be in waiting to receive his commands.

"MR. PRIMEFIT, according to the '_counter-talking_ part of the community,'
had done, all his 'dirty work;' and among the _needles_--otherwise
_sharps_--at the West-end of the Town, who must sport a genteel _outside_,
no matter at whose _suit_, it was observed, between a grin and a pun, that
he had not only got rid of all his '_bad habits_,' but had likewise
outlived his _sufferings_. It was said of this celebrated 'apparel
furnisher,' that, if he received the cash for ONE coat out of _three_,
nothing was the matter! In his _intercourse_ with people of fashion, the
character that ran before him was a perfectly gentlemanly tradesman. He
had one _point_ in view on setting out in life, and he never lost sight of
it. To ask his customers for payment was to _lose_ their custom. Though
for the first seven years DICKEY PRIMEFIT was engaged in _cutting-up_ his
cloth, he was _hurried_ beyond _measure_, by those 'troublesome
customers,' _John Doe_ and _Richard Roe_, who were continually at his
elbow, _nudging_ him to take 'measure of their suits' in preference to
every other person; his law expenses and 'MUM _tip_'--that is _rhino_ to
_silence_, or, shut-up the _gab_ of the _bum-traps_--in consequence, were
frightful; yet DICKEY braved the fury of the woollen-draper's 'storm' with
the utmost composure. With a placid countenance he never refused credit to
any British officer, either in the sea or land service, let the distance
or uncertainty be what it might. The _reference_ of one gentleman to
another was quite sufficient to MR. PRIMEFIT; and the _garments_ were made
and sent home without further enquiry or delay. Of course, in return, the
_charges_ of DICKEY were never overhauled; indeed, what GENTLEMAN would
have behaved so _ungentlemanly_ to a tradesman who was all civility,
politeness, and _accommodation_, from one end of his pattern-card to the
other? The business of MR. PRIMEFIT, therefore, became so extensive, that
he sent clothes to all parts of the world. In London, no _gentleman_, who
had been once in the books of DICKEY, would listen to the name of any
other tailor, which rendered PRIMEFIT the '_go_ for a tasty cut, best
materials, and first-rate workmanship.' DICKEY had a 'soul above buttons,'
he had no narrow ideas belonging to him: and he flattered himself that,
ultimately, it would _all be right_. '_No gentleman_,' MR. PRIMEFIT would
often assert, when he has been blamed for giving such an extensive loose
sort of credit, '_I am convinced, but will act as such, sooner or later_,
towards me!' So it proved. Things, at length, took the expected turn. Many
long out-standing bills came in. His capital accumulated. His business
also increased in so extraordinary a manner that several clerks were
necessary to keep it in order, and ensure punctuality. DICKEY was almost
as true as a clock to his time, in attending to orders. His character for
fashion was so _emphatic_, that numbers of stylish tradesmen, who found it
necessary to have a 'bettermost coat' by them, for 'high days and
holidays' regardless of the charge, employed MR. PRIMEFIT. The sunshine of
prosperity was now so complete, that not a single _bum-trap_ had crossed
the threshold of DICKEY'S door, in the way of _private_ business, for many
a long day past. In short, MR. PRIMEFIT had realised the climax of his
exertions--he had _measured_ his way into a carriage. DICKEY was
principally distinguished for the _cut_ of his coats. To CORINTHIAN TOM he
was peculiarly indebted, as a leader of the fashion. It was owing to this
circumstance that MR. PRIMEFIT waited in person at CORINTHIAN HOUSE;
indeed, the active use of the scissors and parchment had long been removed
from the hands of DICKEY, and his principal occupation now consisted of
_talking_ over the versatility of fashion to his customers, and giving
directions to his men. But the slightest idea that might drop from
CORINTHIAN TOM respecting the advantages of dress was what DICKEY could
not resist, and he, therefore, ordered his carriage immediately to attend
upon the rustic JERRY at once.

"TOM and JERRY, previously to the arrival of the _apparel-furnisher_, had
been discussing the advantages resulting from _dress_ and ADDRESS; and the
CORINTHIAN had also been pointing out to his Coz not to _skim_ too lightly
over so important a subject, but to peruse with most marked attention that
_grand living_ BOOK of _books_:--MAN!!!"

=Whetstone Park.=--A lane between Holborn and Lincoln's-Inn-Field's.
Formerly famed for being the resort of women of the town.

=Whistling Shop.=--A place in which spirits are sold without a licence.
"Who that has ever visited a Friend undergoing a three months'
purification in the Fleet or King's Bench, but has been introduced to a
_Whistling Shop_; and who that has been initiated into its sacred rites,
would basely betray his knowledge. No one at all ambitious of bearing the
character of the real thing. Neither Mr. Brown nor Marshal Jones would
thank any _Paul Pry_ for splitting on this point. Any reader that may not
have visited a _Whistling Shop_, cannot do better than put a little of the
_bustle_ in his poke; call on the first Friend he has in _Limbo_, and get
introduced to one as quickly as possible; and thus do a double good,
furnish himself with a little useful information, and cheer a Pal in
distress at the same time.

=Whitechapel.=--Anything low, mean, or paltry. _A Whitechapel portion_, a
smock, and what nature gave. _Whitechapel breed_, fat, ragged, and saucy.
_Whitechapel Beau_, one who dresses with a needle and thread, and
undresses with a knife. _A Whitechapel Brougham_, a costermonger's
donkey-barrow.

=Wipe.=--A nose handkerchief.

=Wrench, Benjamin.=--Comedian; original Corinthian Tom at the Adelphi,
died November 24, 1843, aged 67.

=Wrekin Tavern.=--In Broad Court, Drury Lane, was much frequented by
first-rate theatricals, authors, poets, painters, gentlemen of the press,
men of the world, and intelligent persons in general, and was a house of
entertainment of no common description, kept at the time by a Mr.
Williams, a person connected with literary pursuits. It was to the Wrekin
Tavern that Edmund Kean was conveyed on the ever-memorable night of the
24th of March, 1833, when he partly played Othello to his son Charles's
Iago, at Covent Garden Theatre. And described thus by his biographer:--

"After making one or two feeble steps towards his son, and attempting the
speech of:--

  Villian, be sure thou prove my love a whore;
  Be sure of it; give me the ocular proof, &c.

"When his head sunk on his son's shoulder, and the tragedian's acting was
at an end. He was able to groan out a few words in Charles's ear--'I am
dying--speak to them for me;' after which (the audience refusing in
kindness, to hear any apology) he was borne from the stage. His son,
assisted by other persons, carried him to his dressing-room, and laid him
on a sofa. He was as cold as ice; his pulse was scarcely perceptible; and
he was unconscious of all that was going on around him. In this state he
remained some time, when the remedies which were applied having restored
him to his senses, he was taken to the 'Wrekn' Tavern, near the theatre,
and Messrs. Carpue and Duchez, the surgeons, were sent for. From the
Wrekin Tavern, he was after a week's stay, removed to Richmond: where he
died on the fifteenth day of May, 1833."

The Wrekin Tavern--the Times--and the Proprietors underwent many changes
from good, bad, and very indifferent; in fact, the character of house and
company was entirely altered--_O tempora! O mores!_ Here Johnny Broome,
the pugilist, who was born at Birmingham, 1817, and the successful hero of
six or seven battles in the P.R., and also the prime mover in "The Great
Brighton Card Cheating Case," committed suicide by cutting his throat, May
31, 1855.


  LONDON:
  E. A. Beckett, Printer, 111 & 113, Kingsland Road, E.




FOOTNOTES:

[1] _Books published by G. Virtue, Ivy-lane, Paternoster-row_:--

BOXIANA; or, Sketches of Ancient and Modern Pugilism; including every
Exploit from the Days of Figg and Broughton to the present year (1829);
with Biographical Memoirs of all the Boxers, particulars of their age,
weight, style of fighting, &c.; and interspersed with a variety of
Sporting Anecdotes, never before published. By PIERCE EGAN.

    Also in royal 8vo. price L1 16s., embellished with 36 beautifully
    coloured, characteristic plates and woodcuts, from scenes in real
    life, by I. R. and G. Cruikshank.

=A New Edition of Life in London=; or, the Day and Night Scenes of Jerry
Hawthorn, Esq., and his elegant Friend, Corinthian Tom, in their Rambles
and Sprees through the Metropolis. By Pierce Egan.

Also, just published, uniform with the above, price L1 16s., embellished
with 36 richly coloured scenes from real life, and spirited wood cuts, by
R. Cruikshank.

    "Begar here's Monsieur Tonson come again."

=Pierce Egan's Finish= to the =Adventures= of =Tom, Jerry=, and =Logic=,
in their Pursuits through Life In and Out of London. Being the Second
Part, or Continuation of 'Life in London,' calculated to attract the
Corinthian, entertain the Sportsman, relieve the cares of the Merchant, a
specific against Ennui, delight the Country Folks, please Everybody, and
'No Mistake.'

Also, by the same Author, and uniform with the above.

=The Life of an Actor, Peregrine Proteus.= Illustrated by Twenty-seven
coloured Scenes, representing the Vicissitudes of the Stage; and nine
beautiful wood cuts. By Pierce Egan, Author of 'Life in London,' 'Tom and
Jerry,' &c. Price L1 1s. in boards; or in nine parts, at 2s. 6d. each.

"The present work is one of the best exemplifications of Mr. Egan's
peculiar talents. It is impossible for us to do justice to the spirit of
the designs, many of which would not discredit the pencil of
Hogarth."--_Monthly Critical Gazette._

[2] =Quarterly Review=, the organ of the Tory party, first appeared in
February, 1809, under the editorship of William Gifford, the celebrated
translator of "Juvenal." He died 31 December, 1826.

[3] =Edinburgh Review= was founded October, 1802, by Francis Jeffrey,
Scotch lawyer, critic, and politician, Francis Horner, Brougham, Rev.
Sidney Smith, and other Whigs.

[4] =Fistulae and Piles.=--Mr. Van Butchell, Surgeon Accoucheur No. 2, Half
Moon Street, Piccadilly, having, without cutting or confinement, in the
short space of three weeks, cured me of the above-named complaints (under
which I had laboured for nearly four years). I am prompted by gratitude to
him publicly to state, that I had previously consulted several Surgeons,
who pronounced my cure impossible, without submitting to the painful
operation of cutting, to which dangerous experiment I had always been
averse, and therefore despaired of ever regaining my health, till, on
applying to Mr. Van Butchell, to whom I was strongly recommended, he, in
the short space above-mentioned, realized his assurances by performing a
perfect cure.

  Newhaven, Sussex.
  THOMAS EAGLES, Butcher & Salesman.

[5] =John Abernethy=, Surgeon and Physiologist, 1764-1831.

[6] =William Blackwood=, Scotch bookseller, born 1776; established
"Blackwood's Magazine," 1817, died 1834.

[7] POCKET-BOOK. Townsend's first introduction to the police, it seems,
was owing to his knowledge of the numerous persons hanged, transported,
&c.; he having kept a regular journal to that effect. This calender of
offences gave him a great superiority over his fellows.

[8] JAMES GILLRAY, the famous caricaturist, 1785-1815.

[9] In Cheyne walk, Chelsea, was the museum and coffee house of Don
Saltero, renowned in the swimming exploits of Dr. Franklin. The landlord,
James Salter, was a noted barber, who made a collection of natural
curiosities, which acquired him the name (probably first given him by
Steele,) of Don Saltero.--_See_ _Tatler_, Nos. 34, 195 and 226.--The quiet
tavern remains, but the museum was dispersed by auction about the year
1807. Another wonder was the Old Chelsea Bun-house, which possessed a sort
of rival museum to Don Saltero's. It was taken down in 1839.--_John Timbs
Curiosities of London._

[10] This is certainly good and correct advice, but, perhaps the metaphor
might have proved rather more _illustrative_, if the old adage had been
quoted, that, "_when at_ ROME _do as_ ROME _does_!"

[11] =Pea-Green Hayne.= _See_ page 195.

[12] =Parson Colton=:--Rev. Caleb C. Colton, A.M., eccentric clergyman;
published "Lacon; or, Many Things in Few Words; addressed to Those Who
Think." 1820-25.--Died by suicide 29th April, 1832.

[13] =The Three R's.=--Sir William Curtis being asked at a City Banquet to
give a toast said--"I will give you Gemmen the three R's, that's Reading!
Riting!! and Rithmetic!!!"

[14] =None but himself can be his parallel.=--Louis Theobald's--_The
Double Falsehood_, Act iii. Sc. 2.

  "Quaeris Alcidae parem?
  Nemo est nisi ipse."
                  SENECA, _Hercules Furens_, Act. i., Sc. 1.

[15] =This Piece=--that is to say the Adelphi Dramatic Version, as
written, printed, and published by Mr. W. T. Moncrieff, at No. 104, Drury
Lane. 1824.

[16] Not out of _wind_, nor beat to a _stand-still_; but sorry that I am
compelled to _forfeit_ on the 1st of January, 1821, being out of
_condition_ to appear _bang-up_ at the _scratch_!

[17] =Jack Randall=, the _Nonpareil_, of the Ring, was then keeping the
Hole-in-the-Wall, in Chancery Lane. _See_ RANDALL, page 199.

[18] =Crooky Booked= it, _i.e._, Cruikshank made a mental note; or, sketch
of the circumstance at the time:--"When found, make a note of."

[19] =Leicester Fields.=--Now Leicester Square, so called from a family
mansion of the Sydneys, Earls of Leicester, which stood on the north-east
side.

[20] THE PLATE in question occurs at page 276 of the work, and is
entitled--"LIFE IN LONDON.--_Peep O' Day-Boys; A Street Row, the Author
losing his 'reader;' Tom and Jerry showing fight, and Logic floored._"
N.B.--A Catnachian pirated copy of the Plate will be found at page 36 and
99, of the present work.--But a far better idea of this, and all the other
Plates by the Brothers Cruikshank: in Colours after the Originals, will be
found in the reprint of LIFE IN LONDON: Published by Chatto and Windus,
Piccadilly. Crown 8vo., cloth extra 7s. 6d.--_Editor._

[21] Mr. Jones of the firm of Sherwood, Jones and Co., Publishers,
Paternoster Row, London.

[22] Literary.

[23] A half-penny.

[24] Short-hand.

[25] One pound note. An author, indeed, with money in his pocket-book,
would be a novelty in Life in London. But in the North, they are not quite
so SCOTT free in this respect. Merit is at all times, worthy of reward.

[26] MR. PARRY, the celebrated composer of the Welsh Melodies and several
other popular pieces of music; a gentleman well known in the musical
world, and who has risen to the well-merited eminence he now enjoys
entirely from the possession of superior talents. MR. PARRY was originally
the master of the Derbyshire Band, and the fife was the first instrument
he excelled upon, when quite a boy; but his performances on the flageolet
are exquisitely fine, and the admiration of all those persons who have
heard him.

[27] PAINTINGS OF HOGARTH AND HAYMAN.=At the sale of the movable property,
Oct., 1841, twenty-four pictures by William Hogarth [1697-1764] and
Francis Hayman, R.A., historical painter [1708-1776] produced but small
sums: they had mostly been upon the premises since 1742; the canvas was
nailed to boards, and much obscured by dirt. Those by Hogarth fetched as
follows.--A Drunken Man, L4 4s.; A Woman pulling out an Old Man's grey
hairs, L3 3s.; Jobson and Nell in the _Devil to Pay_, L4 4s.: The Happy
Family, L3 15s.; Children at Play, L4 11s. 6d. Those by Hayman:--Children
Bird's-nesting, L5 10s.; Minstrels, L3; The Enraged Husband, L4 4s.; The
Bridal Day, L6 6s.; Blindman's Buff, L3 8s.; Prince Henry and Falstaff,
L7: Scene from the Rake's Progress, L9 15s.; Merry-making, L1 12s.; The
Jealous Husband, L4; Card-party, L6; Children's Party, L4 15s.; Battledore
and Shuttlecock, L1 10s.; The Doctor, L4 14s. 6d.; Cherrybob, L2 15s.; The
Storming of Seringapatam, L8 10s.; Neptune and Britannia, L8 15s. Four
busts of Simpson, the celebrated Master of the Ceremonies, were sold for
10s.; and a bust of his royal shipmate, William IV.--not a
sovereign!--only 19s. Among the Vauxhall composers were Arne, Boyce,
Carter, Mountain, Hook (father to Theodore Edward) and Signor Storace.
Male singers: Beard, Tommy Lowe, Webb, Charley Dignum, Vernon, Incledon,
Braham, Pyne, Sinclair, Tinney--Pretty Jane Robinson, Paul Bedford, W. H.
Williams, Sharp, Weekes, &c. Females: Miss Brent, Mrs. Wrighten, Mrs.
Weischel (mother of Mrs. Billington), Mrs. Mountain, Mrs. Crouch, Mrs.
Bland, Miss Tryer (afterwards Mrs. Liston), Miss Graddon, Miss Love, Miss
Tunstall, Miss P. Horton, &c. Italian Operas were performed here in 1829.
The band were the last to wear the semi-circular or cocked hat:--

  "By the high dome that trembling glows
  With lamps, cock'd hats, and shiv'ring bows,
                    How many hearts are shook!
  A feather'd chorister is there,
  Warbling some tender, grove-like air.
      Composed by Mr. Hook."--_London Magazine_, Sept., 1824.

[28] =Vauxhall Slices! or Ham Shavings!=--_See_ page 213. _Apropos_ to the
subject we here insert the following _J'eu d'esprit_: from BELL'S LIFE IN
LONDON: August 2, 1829.

A NEW SONG TO AN OLD TUNE.

[Mr. Moncrieff, the Dramatist, having received an invitation to supper
from the Proprietors of Vauxhall, returned one of the Gentlemen the
following extemporaneous answer:--]

  By thy cold fowls, each worth, at least a _crown_--
  And by thy _ham_ which makes these fowls go down--
  By thy French rolls--thy beef and pickled ghirkins--
  By thy brown stout, by _Barclay_ brew'd and _Perkins_--
  And by thy lettuce, from the isle of Cos--
  Thy pepper, vinegar, and mustard, pos.--
  In that same place thou hast appointed me,
  This ev'ning, truly, will I meet with thee!

  By thy old port, and thy particular sherry,
  With which men, for six shillings, oft get merry--
  By thy Sauterne, thy Hock, and thy Bucellas,
  Thy real Champagne--Nectar of good fellows--
  By thy best _Chateau Margaux_; and again,
  By Mr. Simpson,[A] blandest, best of men!
  In that same place thou hast appointed me,
  This ev'ning, truly, will I meet with thee.

  By thy Italian singers, whose fine throats
  Produce such a vast quantity of notes--
  By thy _Hydraulics_ and thy _Cosmoramas_,
  Delight of all town-visiting clods and farmers--
  By thy famed fire-works, pleasing great and small--
  And by thy _rack-punch_, greatest charm of all!
  In that same place thou hast appointed me,
  This ev'ning, truly, will I meet with thee!

    [A] M.C., and Inspector of the Gardens.

[29] The late John Camden Hotten's Introduction to the new edition of
"Life in London." Chatto & Windus: Piccadilly.

[30] Mr. Pierce Egan says:--"Mr. Barrymore's Burletta was _thought of_,
written, and got up, in five days. As a friend, I attended the rehearsals,
notwithstanding I had previously made an outline of a Drama for myself."

[31] AN ITALIAN TURN-UP.

_Surprising Novelty in the Sporting Circle._

On Tuesday next, at Seven o'Clock in the Evening,

_A special grand combat will be decided at the_

WESTMINSTER PIT,

FOR ONE HUNDRED GUINEAS,

Between the extraordinary and celebrated creature, the famed Italian
Monkey:

JACCO MACCACCO,

And a Dog of 20lbs. weight, the property of a Nobleman well-known in the
circle.

[32] Tom Cribb, born at Hanham, Gloucestershire, July 8, 1781. His last
fight was with Molineux, a black, for L600, at Thistleton Gap, September
28, 1811. Presented by the Sporting World with a cup of the value of
eighty guineas, December 2, 1811, at the Castle Tavern, Holborn. Which he
received from the hands of Mr. Emery, the comedian, who made the following
complimentary address:--"THOMAS CRIBB, I have the honour this day of being
the representative of a numerous and most respectable body of your
friends; and though I am by no means qualified to attempt the undertaking
which has devolved on me, by a vote of the subscribers, yet the cause
will, I am confident, prove a sufficient excuse for my want of ability.
You are requested to accept this CUP, as a tribute of respect for the
uniform valour and integrity you have shown in your several combats, but,
most particularly, for the additional proofs of native skill and manly
intrepidity displayed by you in your last memorable battle, when the cause
rested not merely upon individual fame, but for the pugilistic reputation
of your native country, in contending with a formidable foreign
antagonist. In that combat you gave proof that the innovating hand of a
foreigner, when lifted against a son of Britannia, must not only be aided
by the _strength_ of a LION but the HEART also.

"The fame you have so well earned has been by manly and upright conduct,
and which I have no doubt will ever mark your very creditable retirement
from the ring or stage of pugilism. However intoxicated the _cup_ or its
_contents_ may at any future period make you, I am sufficiently persuaded
the gentlemen present, and the sons of John Bull in general, will never
consider you have a _cup_ too much."

Tom Cribb took a farewell benefit under the auspices of the Pugilistic
Association, at the National Baths, Westminster Road, November 12, 1840.
Died in High Street, Woolwich, May 11, 1848. Monument erected to his
memory in Woolwich Churchyard, May 1, 1851.

[33] ALL-MAX IN THE EAST.--The very antipodes of the _Almack's in the
West_--was held at the Coach and Horses public house, Nightingale-lane,
East Smithfield, which was kept by a person of the appropriate name of
MACE. Here it required no patronage;--a card of admission was not
necessary; no enquiries were made, and every _cove_ that put in his
appearance was quite welcome, colour or country considered no obstacle;
and _dress_ and ADDRESS completely out of the question. _Ceremonies_ were
not in use, therefore no struggle took place at ALL-MAX for the master of
them. The parties _paired off_ to _fancy_; the eye was pleased in the
choice, and nothing thought of about birth and distinction. _All was
happiness!_--every body free and easy, and freedom of expression allowed
to the very echo. The group motley indeed;--Lascars, blacks, jack tars,
coalheavers, dustmen, women of colour, old and young, and a sprinkling of
the remnants of once fine girls, &c. were all _jigging_ together, provided
the _teazer of the catgut_ was not _bilked_ out of his _duce_. _Gloves_
might have been laughed at, as dirty hands produced no _squeamishness_ on
the heroines in the dance, and the scene changed as often as a pantomime,
from the continual introduction of new characters. _Heavy wet_ was the
cooling beverage, but frequently overtaken by _flashes of lightning_.

"I am quite satisfied in my mind, said LOGIC to TOM, it is the LOWER
ORDERS of society who really enjoy themselves. They eat with a good
appetite, _hunger_ being the sauce; they _drink_ with zest, in being
_thirsty_ from their exertions, and not _nice_ in their beverage, and, as
to _dress_, it is not an object of serious consideration with them. Their
minds are daily occupied with work, which they quit with the intention of
_enjoying_ themselves, and _enjoyment_ is the result; not like the rich,
who are out night after night to _kill_ time, and what is worse,
dissatisfied with almost every thing that crosses their path, from dulness
of _repetition_."

"There is too much truth about your argument, I must admit," replied
CORINTHIAN; "and among the scenes that we have witnessed together, where
the LOWER ORDER have been taking their _pleasure_, I confess they have
appeared ALL HAPPINESS. I am sorry I cannot say as much for the higher
ranks of society."

[34] E. L. Blanchard's History of the Adelphi Theatre.

[35] Mr. Edmund Kean.

[36] Mr. Joseph Munden.

[37] It is well-known that the dust hill at the bottom of Gray's Inn Lane,
near Battle Bridge, was sold for some thousands of pounds, and was shipped
off to Russia, to aid in the rebuilding of Moscow.--_Pierce Egan._

[38] Our thanks are due, and are hereby given to Crawford John Pocock,
Esq., of Cannon Place, Brighton, for the loan and use of his--what we feel
almost inclined to consider--unique copy of Catnach's broadside of "Life
in London."--PRICE TWO PENCE.

[39] TESTAMENT, is perfectly correct. The words _will_ and _testament_ are
generally used indiscriminately; but they are not words exactly of the
same import. A _will_, is properly limited to land; a _testament_, to
personal estate, as money, furniture, &c., &c.

[40] Carey Street, and its immediate neighbourhood, abounded in
spunging-houses.

[41] CORINTHIAN TOM, it appears, was rather in doubt whether _bulls_ or
_bears_ were disposed of by MR. TATTERSALL.




Transcriber's Notes:

Passages in italics are indicated by _italics_.

Passages in bold are indicated by =bold=.

The original text contains a few letters with diacritical marks that are
not represented in this text version.

The original text includes several symbols that are represented as [X],
[square], and [Pointing Hand].






End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The True History of Tom and Jerry, by
Charles Hindley

*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE TRUE HISTORY OF TOM AND JERRY ***

***** This file should be named 43504.txt or 43504.zip *****
This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
        http://www.gutenberg.org/4/3/5/0/43504/

Produced by The Online Distributed Proofreading Team at
http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images
generously made available by The Internet Archive.)


Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
will be renamed.

Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
permission and without paying copyright royalties.  Special rules,
set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark.  Project
Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission.  If you
do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
rules is very easy.  You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
research.  They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks.  Redistribution is
subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
redistribution.



*** START: FULL LICENSE ***

THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK

To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
Gutenberg-tm License available with this file or online at
  www.gutenberg.org/license.


Section 1.  General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
electronic works

1.A.  By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
(trademark/copyright) agreement.  If you do not agree to abide by all
the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.

1.B.  "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark.  It may only be
used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement.  There are a few
things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
even without complying with the full terms of this agreement.  See
paragraph 1.C below.  There are a lot of things you can do with Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
works.  See paragraph 1.E below.

1.C.  The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation"
or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic works.  Nearly all the individual works in the
collection are in the public domain in the United States.  If an
individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
are removed.  Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
the work.  You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.

1.D.  The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
what you can do with this work.  Copyright laws in most countries are in
a constant state of change.  If you are outside the United States, check
the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
Gutenberg-tm work.  The Foundation makes no representations concerning
the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
States.

1.E.  Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:

1.E.1.  The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project
Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
copied or distributed:

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org

1.E.2.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
or charges.  If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the
work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
1.E.9.

1.E.3.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
terms imposed by the copyright holder.  Additional terms will be linked
to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.

1.E.4.  Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.

1.E.5.  Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
Gutenberg-tm License.

1.E.6.  You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
word processing or hypertext form.  However, if you provide access to or
distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version
posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other
form.  Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.

1.E.7.  Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.

1.E.8.  You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
that

- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
     the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
     you already use to calculate your applicable taxes.  The fee is
     owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
     has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
     Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.  Royalty payments
     must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
     prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
     returns.  Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
     sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
     address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to
     the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."

- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
     you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
     does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
     License.  You must require such a user to return or
     destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
     and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
     Project Gutenberg-tm works.

- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
     money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
     electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
     of receipt of the work.

- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
     distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.

1.E.9.  If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark.  Contact the
Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.

1.F.

1.F.1.  Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
collection.  Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
your equipment.

1.F.2.  LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
fees.  YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3.  YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
DAMAGE.

1.F.3.  LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
written explanation to the person you received the work from.  If you
received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
your written explanation.  The person or entity that provided you with
the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
refund.  If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund.  If the second copy
is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
opportunities to fix the problem.

1.F.4.  Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO OTHER
WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.

1.F.5.  Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
the applicable state law.  The invalidity or unenforceability of any
provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.

1.F.6.  INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.


Section  2.  Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm

Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers.  It exists
because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
people in all walks of life.

Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
remain freely available for generations to come.  In 2001, the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
and the Foundation information page at www.gutenberg.org


Section 3.  Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
Foundation

The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
Revenue Service.  The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
number is 64-6221541.  Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.

The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
throughout numerous locations.  Its business office is located at 809
North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887.  Email
contact links and up to date contact information can be found at the
Foundation's web site and official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact

For additional contact information:
     Dr. Gregory B. Newby
     Chief Executive and Director
     gbnewby@pglaf.org

Section 4.  Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
Literary Archive Foundation

Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
array of equipment including outdated equipment.  Many small donations
($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
status with the IRS.

The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
States.  Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
with these requirements.  We do not solicit donations in locations
where we have not received written confirmation of compliance.  To
SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
particular state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate

While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
approach us with offers to donate.

International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
outside the United States.  U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.

Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
methods and addresses.  Donations are accepted in a number of other
ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
To donate, please visit:  www.gutenberg.org/donate


Section 5.  General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
works.

Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
with anyone.  For forty years, he produced and distributed Project
Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.

Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
unless a copyright notice is included.  Thus, we do not necessarily
keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.

Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:

     www.gutenberg.org

This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.